Every day, when we talk with ourselves, many unnecessary things make an entry in to us. We start pitying us. We hide our weak traits. Imagine, if these unnecessary thoughts are diverted towards ‘good’, how good it would be and how beneficial it would be in shaping our personality.
Remember that you are the product of your thoughts. These thoughts if repeated again and again, your brain takes them as truths. And also remember that your repeated conversations with your brain will be carried out faithfully by your brain. So be cautious. your talking with yourself that is nothing but asking the brain to carry them.It makes a huge impact on your future.
You are your own Role model.
You are the one, who will decide where to go. You are the one who direct your mind the direction. You are the one who know where your resources are there to embellish your life.
No one is more important than you for yourself. So it’s obvious the first person to please is you and you only. Any traces of neglecting and degrade your self will undermine all your efforts to go ahead in life.
Love thyself.
You wish, “Happy new year” on the New year day to your friends, colleagues in the office and your neighbors. Did you wish, ‘Happy new year” to yourself?
No. Most of us do not do so.
Recognise the “You” in yourself.
On many occasions, many, in order to drive away their loneliness, resort to many ways. They turn on the TV. Change the channels in quick succession. They try for someone who is available for chatting. Try for friends for an idle chat, not caring an iota about you.
Many turn towards other’s validations in the matters pertaining to your marriage, a new job, a new business venture, a resignation and a plethora of such issues. Did you ever turn towards yourself on any one of such occasions?
We just observe some times. We will not care to see some times. We write while reading. We bathe while munching something. We drive while talking over the cell. Similarly we check the mails while dozing.
And in all such occasions we will be conversing with ourselves. During these conversations, we pity on ourselves. Condemn and curse us. We rebuke and censure ourselves.
There never seems to be an end to this futile talk with ourselves. A bulk of this conversations is mere useless stuff.
And the raw material for all this stuff is our limitations, beliefs and thoughts.
Positive thoughts and beliefs make you walk on a smooth road. While meaningless thoughts will corrode your mind only to make you land in the murky gutters.
What we ought to do?
Substitute positive thoughts with those negative thoughts of backstabbing and self abusing thoughts. They make your inner voice a force that guides, leads and advises to the objectives of your life.
Talking with self is welcome.
Talking aloud with yourself will make the people doubt about your mental condition. You may be stamped and branded as an insane. But never a silent internal talk with your inner self. In fact inner talks with self will have a huge impact on you. They will act as strong motivators.
It’s not all. Just think, if we are capable of converting saline water in to drinking water, can’t we divert and convert our bad and negative thoughts in to positive and constructive thoughts? Saline or sweet water, water remains as matter, but the taste becomes palatable and potential.
You are your own Reformer.
There are no set rules to reform ourselves in a printed book available in a Bookshop. Our own thoughts and experiences take shape and stand before us, reminding us, ‘Make use of me.”The Mentor we look for will not be available in any hermitage. If you care to look in to yourself, you find the answer,
“ You are your own Mentor, guide and philosopher that can leave an indelible impression on you.”
Self talk is the most neglected utility.
Till now, we have ignored the most powerful tool to empower us. To make us a force to reckon with. And to make us a “Winner.” Let’s start make use of it which costs nothing and injects the most powerful energy that makes us reach our cherished objectives, to convert our weaknesses in to strong and powerful weapons.
Not a hard task.
What one has to do to make use of A Self talk in a productive way is to observe carefully one’s conversations with self. Any traces of ‘Negativity’, in a skilful and thoughtful way have to be directed in to Positive thoughts. We often see some movies especially mythological where one uses a powerful ‘Agneya Astra’ that spits fire to demolish the opponent. The opponent uses ‘Varuna Astra’ that showers jets of water and counter acts the opponent’s plan with its fountains of water.
Akin to this, we have to counter our negative thoughts with effective positive thoughts. The difference is instead of Astras or weapons, we use our thoughts and relevant deeds.
Self talk will make you conquer fears.
Every year many competitive exams are conducted for scholarships and for eligibility for higher education.
“ Competing with more than 100000 competitors?, impossible.” Says the inner voice influenced by negative thoughts and stifles your throat.
“I’m confident, I can compete and win”, says your inner voice that is influenced by positive thoughts. It’s not all. It reminds of your previous experience where in you emerged as the champ winning over tough competition.
They are poisonous thoughts.
Thoughts like, “ I cannot”.
“ I’m not creative”.
“ I’m shy”.
“ No one likes me.”
Are as deadly as poison. These poisonous thoughts are to be nipped in the bud. In the absence of a right ruthless action to uproot them, they will make you helpless, distressed and force you to take extreme actions like committing suicide. Beware these poisonous thoughts are capable of causing immense damage to the lives that can’t be averted.
Record to avert the rot.
Dr, Shad Helmstetter, in his book, “What to say when you talk to yourself”, says, the best way to stop the invasion and to thwart the negative thoughts can be done by recording your inner thoughts in a note book or a tape recorder for a period of one week or a fortnight. On reviewing your recordings, you will discover that in most of the conversations have some link with one aspect or other. Tick that ‘aspect’. You will find certain aspects are getting repeated. This gives a clue to your negative thoughts.
Where are you?
From our regular and unceasing self talk, we can estimate our mental condition. We can gauge the extent of positive and negative thoughts in us. It also helps in having an idea at what stage we are and to measure how far we are away from the change we are expecting.
The change takes in five stages.
Fifth stage.
It’s your determination stage when you have realized that there are dangerous thoughts prevailing in you and to eradicate them at any cost.
Fourth stage.
This is the stage where you have identified specifically the unwanted poisonous thoughts which are playing havoc in your life. At the same time, you have turned towards a strategy to put an end to the poisonous thoughts in you.
Third stage.
This is the stage you realize the intensity of thoughts are being gradually reducing. Efforts are on to convert the thoughts in to action. “I’m not going to touch liquor”, “I never procrastinate”, are the strong thoughts you often heard during your Self talk sessions.
Second stage.
A confident note appears in your conversations with self. ‘My life is in my control’ is often heard during your conversations with self. Whatever I want to do will be decided by me and no one else. In this stage we start trusting ourselves. We start loving ourselves.
First stage.
Your feet in the present and head in the future stage starts. Thoughts will be revolving around what to do today in order to make a bright future. We start living in the present.
Self Programming.
Self talk is nothing but a Mental programming. We program a computer to get the things done according to our requirements. Here, in order to control your life, you are programming yourself.
The difference between a winner and a loser is, a winner takes control of his life. While loser stays in the control of the diktats of his life.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”-Mahatma Gandhi.
The above quote speaks all. It says how important our thoughts and beliefs are.
‘How our mind takes our instructions. How it accepts’, is the principle underlying in the concept of ‘Self Talk.’
When it comes to driving away your fears and to walk in a new path, Self talk has no equals.
A Zen story.
One man sees a flag and says, ‘The flag is fluttering.’
Another says, No, it’s not the flag that’s moving. It’s the air that’s moving. The argument starts and continues. In the mean time, a seer sees them arguing fiercely and decides to resolve the dispute.
“ Both of you are wrong. It’s your mind that’s moving.”
Poor Brain is innocent.
Brain is like a child that believes whatever is conveyed to it through your thoughts that repeatedly come out during the self talk.
During his self talk, an eminent professor known for his erudition used to say again and again, ‘Somehow, I’m poor at remembering the things especially names of people who are very well known to me. ‘
Poor brain remembers it and conveys your own beliefs in toto whenever you speak with a person. Instead of this, if the professor thinks, ‘ how on earth I cannot remember the names, when I’m able to remember mind boggling data and lengthy statistic figures ? No, I can remember the names of any person who just meets me only once in life.’
This makes a huge difference. The brain becomes alert and conveys your own beliefs about your retentive power. And never never he forgets the names of the people. It’s as simple as that and it’s what great achievers world over done and will be doing in future.
You lose an opportunity to talk with a great person, if you do not talk with yourself.
The above quote of Swami Vivekananda points out towards the importance of Self Talk in no uncertain terms.
Spiritual Guru, Suddhananda Brahmachari says that, Self talk is as important as Self love. If you curse and blame yourself, it leads to Pessimism and drives you towards disastrous results. Instead, if you love yourself and treat yourself with respect and a treasure chest of talents, your life will become a life filled with bliss. It looks beautiful that fills you with immense self confidence. The self confidence thus created in you makes you walk towards your goals with head held high and chin up.
Positive self talk leads to measure your inner traits.
When you are bubbling with confidence, nothing seems to you impossible. You will erase the word ‘impossible from your lexicon. You will be raring to make impossible in to possible. Your cherished goals walk to walk towards you.
Positive Self talk becomes your compass.
The limitless energy created by positive self talk will act as a compass that directs you towards your cherished goals. It makes you ask yourself, “Why not?” instead of, “I can’t”. It makes you strengthen your weaknesses and work on the strengths.
Positive self talk makes you choosy.
During your sessions of self talk, as said at the outset, a spate of mixed thoughts will be swarming over you. A person endowed with Positive thoughts will be alert. He will not waver like a pendulum. Rather he picks up carefully and chooses only those thoughts that make him walk ahead and march him on the path of success.
Self talk in real life.
The benefits of self talk is not restricted to a certain sphere. Self talk showers benefits in all spheres of life. It works well in the sports field. It gives unbelievable results to students. It creates miracles in a Home maker’s life. It helps in offices and other work areas. And it helps in building relations and breaking mean and useless barriers.
Sports psychologist Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis has conducted various experiments and asserted that Positive self talk will help in boosting the performance levels in a sportsman. Researchers found that Positive self talk works better than Motivational talk. It makes a sportsman ’competition ready’.
Hard work and time mixed with positive self talk.
Wisdom lies in mixing judiciously Positive talk along with Hard work and dedication. Such efforts will make the person to see towards those aspects which help enhance his level of concentration. Concentration will not allow you to waver. It clearly shows the winning formula only and discard other futile things. If you look at the lives of all achievers, you will find that all of them are ardent believers in Positive self talk.
Self talk, an old practice with a modern perspective.
A legend from Ramayana says, that before lifting up the Bow of Siva, Rama had several doubts and fears in his mind during the swayamvara of Sita. Many stalwarts and strong kings failed to lift the Bow of Siva and returned back. The condition was Sita will marry only that king or prince who succeeds in lifting the Bow of Siva.
Then a kind of Self talk started in Rama.
Can I lift this bow and marry Sita ?
Why not? If I cannot lift this heavy Siva bow, how can I lift Sita bodily in order to caress her? This conversation went on for a few moments. Rama bent over the heavy bow, thought about the assurances of his self and lifted the Bow to the tremendous ovation of the entire court of Dasaratha.
In an another incident, a disciple has expressed his disgust that he was being plagued by negative thoughts day in day out and asked for an advice to overcome the negative thoughts which are hampering the disciple's growth and development.
The guru advised him to practice self talk and see that during conversations with the self he should ensure that positive thoughts are freely flown.
After some time, the disciple came to his guru and fallen on the Guru’s feet. He was radiating with self confidence. He said self talk has changed him for good. Then the Guru said not to stop the self talking and go on with the practice for life full of bliss and a successful life.
The crux is, self talk is a war that should be carried all through one’s life.
Create your own world.
In a bid to have happiness we search everywhere. We expend big sums. people do not realize that happiness lies in us only. It hasn’t got any relation with credit cards, Debit cards or a fat bank balance. Nor it is linked with the possession of fancy imported cars and super villas. Only 15 percent is physical related happiness. That means, this 15 percent of happiness can be derived from club houses, entertainment in different forms. This can be reduced to 10 percent, 5 percent and ultimately to Zero percent with a bit of awareness and knowledge. If you can reduce these to a cipher, happiness is all yours and at your disposal.
Sports and Arts.
Sports, Arts and Good literature will enhance of our positive thinking. Cut drastically TV viewing time. It doesn’t mean that TV viewing should be stopped entirely. What is required is one should be choosy. Those channels which help enhance our positive thinking should be retained. Others should be discarded. It’s estimated that by stopping unnecessary TV viewing one can enhance the quality of life by 5 percent. Care should be taken to choose the channels which are in tune with our own views and thoughts.
Spirituality.
The aim of spirituality is, to enable us to look in to ourselves. To know what we are capable of and to know what are those aspects which are really close to our heart. This knowledge is of immense use to overcome the hurdles in our life and ultimately achieving our cherished goals.
Prayer, is one of the best forms of self talk. Difference is the talk is not with ourselves but with the great power within us. The same thing is true for Meditation. Which explains well about the great popularity enjoyed by Meditation and Prayer. The entire world is turning towards Meditation of late for enjoying the fruits of Mediation to embellish human lives.
One who makes spirituality as the tools for development in life will be endowed with Positive thoughts.
Humour.
A laugh will make your life blossom in all its pristine glory. Which is why, ‘more and more ‘Laughing Clubs are gaining ground all over the world today. Experts say those with sense of humour are endowed with Positive thoughts.
Optimism.
Optimistic attitude is contagious. It has a quality of spreading from one person to another. Which is why psychologists world over say in unison that one should direct all his endeavors to ensure that the people around you and the places are in possession of optimistic attitude. Keep the People with Pessimistic attitude at a distance.
Give an ice cream each to an optimist and a Pessimist. And ask them, ’How do you like the ice cream?’
‘So so’, says the pessimist.
‘Wonderful, I enjoyed its taste to the core.’ Says the Optimist. This explains all.
Service.
Those people with an attitude, ‘I’m a member of this huge family, Vasudhaiva Kutumbukam.’ And see
those who think everything in terms of “I”. The former enjoys a life full of happiness 25 percent more than the later. Putting Service before Self is a noble attitude. And this attitude gives a cutting edge over those who lack this attitude.
Self confidence.
Self confidence is the Passport to success. For these people nothing seems impossible. In fact they don’t have the word ‘impossible’ in their lexicon. They see an opportunity in every adversity. They never run away from their assigned duties. They take the responsibility for their mistakes and give credit to the deserved.
People with self confidence never fear the ‘Fear.’ They prefer to face the fear instead of shying away from fear.
Amidst others.
‘How are you Sir?’
‘Well, not bad. Life goes on somehow.’
See another example.
‘How are you Sir?’
‘Great, splendid. I couldn't have asked for more.’
The above conversation holds mirror to different attitudes. The first one sees the life as a dreary experience. The second sees the life as an experience of a life time each day and every day. The second one’s attitude is the boon endowed by the ‘Positive self talk.’
If sharing the happy moments of life with others is a welcome gesture.Sharing the sad moments of life with others is an unwanted gesture which plays a spoil sport in demolishing and devastating all the happiness in the world.
Make Self talk with positive attitude as your habit and embellish your life.