Is there a perfect age for marriage ?

I agree, that marriage is a personal issue and the age at which one must get married depends on individuals. However, I feel that the atmosphere in which people grow up and live in contributes equally to setting a certain age limit for getting married. eg. in rural areas, where there is not much importance given to women's education and general mindset is that a woman's role and place is inside the home, girls are married as soon as they reach puberty. in those situations and environs, it is the girl's physical security that matters most, the parents want to get rid of a young girl as quickly as they can to protect her from leering eyes of undesirable characters. in an urban setting, where education and careers matter most, women are choosing career over marriage and therefore, now we are seeing more and more women postponing marriage where the established norm now is 30 years and beyond. So it very much depends on what kind of setting we are looking at.

Legally minimum age for marriage is 18 and 21 years for girls and boys. Most of people know it. But in urban area no one marriage at this age. Most of boys and girls cross 25 years. Marriage for girls up to 30 years is right one. If girls married after 30 years than she may be face some problem in giving birth to child.

Now a days, even in rural regions, people are preferring marriages at the age between 25 and 25. Girls are showing interest for education and jobs. They prefer to be more self reliant.

@ Kalyani I agree that lifestyle and demands of the society one lives in plays a dominant part in deciding the age at which children get married and since arranged marriages are still very much a part of it , parents have more say than the children. But things are slowly changing ..

@anil, rambabu ,  I agree that in large and even small cities 25 or even 30 is not a great age since it takes that long for both boys and girls to get settled in their career and stabilise before they think of getting married.

Here, I would like to write about myself. I was actually disinterested in getting married but finally when I decided to get married I was thirty years old and my hubby was thirty-two. It was fine until my son was born when I was thirty-five. Then I realised I made a wrong decision of getting married so late. After being parents my husband started calculating how to put everything at the right place for our son before his retirement and I used to get exhausted very quickly while looking after him. At 35 I lacked that patience and energy which was very much needed to nurture a child. I sincerely feel that if at all a girl wants to get married then it should be around 25/26. I would suggest so but will never force anyone to do so because it's definitely a personal choice. Now, that my son is no more a toddler so I don't need to run after him but the concern regarding his completion of education and his further establishment still remains a concern for us because up to an extent the parents are responsible for their child's future. 

rambabu wrote:

Now a days, even in rural regions, people are preferring marriages at the age between 25 and 25. Girls are showing interest for education and jobs. They prefer to be more self reliant.

It is only in your region, but Rajasthan is infamous of child marriage. Here in rural area only few people wait for the marriage of their child till age of 18 and 21.

usha manohar wrote:

@ Kalyani I agree that lifestyle and demands of the society one lives in plays a dominant part in deciding the age at which children get married and since arranged marriages are still very much a part of it , parents have more say than the children. But things are slowly changing ..

@anil, rambabu ,  I agree that in large and even small cities 25 or even 30 is not a great age since it takes that long for both boys and girls to get settled in their career and stabilise before they think of getting married.

I heard a case of a girl who escaped from her village in the state of Maharashtra to avoid child marriage. An NGO helped her. The girl wanted to study and do a job.

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Here, I would like to write about myself. I was actually disinterested in getting married but finally when I decided to get married I was thirty years old and my hubby was thirty-two. It was fine until my son was born when I was thirty-five. Then I realised I made a wrong decision of getting married so late. After being parents my husband started calculating how to put everything at the right place for our son before his retirement and I used to get exhausted very quickly while looking after him. At 35 I lacked that patience and energy which was very much needed to nurture a child. I sincerely feel that if at all a girl wants to get married then it should be around 25/26. I would suggest so but will never force anyone to do so because it's definitely a personal choice. Now, that my son is no more a toddler so I don't need to run after him but the concern regarding his completion of education and his further establishment still remains a concern for us because up to an extent the parents are responsible for their child's future. 

That is a very honest and frank appraisal...I agree that it is better to have children while one is reasonably young and fit ! But nowadays we find couple getting married without any plans of having children .One of my neighbor and her hubby are in their late thirties, she being older by a couple of years , have adopted a girl child and looking after her with the help of grand parents and they have no plans on having any children of their own.I see a lot of young couple going in for adoption !

Adoption is certainly a great choice if the couple has a minimum chance of having their own child but that does not lessen the job of the mother to look after the child. The tenacity matters a lot which every mother requires to nurture her child be it of her own or an adopted one. I think when marriage takes place at late age then love between the couple which is the essence of a married life simply converts into responsibilities and more responsibilities. Somewhere down the line the couple misses some great moments in their lives.   

Will there be any Mother who will not relish the sweet and sonorous word, "Mamma " ? Every mother floats on the waves of ecstasy when she hears the word " Mamma ".

When a Mother doesn't have the the possibilities of having children due to some reasons, definitely she goes for adoption. And she will not have an iota of hesitation to bear the difficulties involved in Motherhood. Hence, I definitely say that adopting a child is a wise decision.

Here I must say that parents should take care to adopt a Just born baby. The idea is the baby should not know that it's an adopted child.

The best age of being get married is around 25 -26 years, as up to this time most of people completed their education and well settled in their job. Marriages should not be too early (before 18) or should not be too late (beyond 30) because in both situation problems are likely to occur in life.

Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50  or even later. 

Yes. The age range between 25 and 26misnthe best choice. Marrying at this age makes the couple know about Compatibility with each other.

rambabu wrote:

Yes. The age range between 25 and 26misnthe best choice. Marrying at this age makes the couple know about Compatibility with each other.

 

The age around 25 is best as a person at this age becomes much mature to understand the feelings of the partner and understands the situations or problems which come in life and is capable enough to solve them. After 30 years or more the person will lost those feelings which he was having at age around 25.

There are some stages in life- education, employment, marriage.  I feel that one must  first finish education and settle in career. Marriage comes thereafter. Accordingly, likely ideal age of marriage will be 25  years to 30 years. 

Yes sir. Even if the couple are married between 25 to 30 years, differences are bound to be there in every family. Some times these differences contribute to the overall happiness in the family. Of course within limits. These differences should not be allowed to go very far.

rambabu wrote:

Will there be any Mother who will not relish the sweet and sonorous word, "Mamma " ? Every mother floats on the waves of ecstasy when she hears the word " Mamma ".

When a Mother doesn't have the the possibilities of having children due to some reasons, definitely she goes for adoption. And she will not have an iota of hesitation to bear the difficulties involved in Motherhood. Hence, I definitely say that adopting a child is a wise decision.

Here I must say that parents should take care to adopt a Just born baby. The idea is the baby should not know that it's an adopted child.

 

Nowadays couple who are in perfect health too prefer to adopt children because they feel it is better to give home to a homeless child rather than bring in more children of their own...Normally adoption process takes a long time and the baby is handed over when they are a few months old or even a year old in some cases which hardly matters...And as far as masking the truth, that is the worst damage that can be done to a child especially after he or she grows into an adult and co es o know through other sources.

There are counselling classes and sessions for would be adopters and they are given advise as to how to go about making the child aware that she or he is an adopted child rather than keep it a secret which is a totally wrong attitude !

rambabu wrote:

Will there be any Mother who will not relish the sweet and sonorous word, "Mamma " ? Every mother floats on the waves of ecstasy when she hears the word " Mamma ".

When a Mother doesn't have the the possibilities of having children due to some reasons, definitely she goes for adoption. And she will not have an iota of hesitation to bear the difficulties involved in Motherhood. Hence, I definitely say that adopting a child is a wise decision.

Here I must say that parents should take care to adopt a Just born baby. The idea is the baby should not know that it's an adopted child.

 

Nowadays couple who are in perfect health too prefer to adopt children because they feel it is better to give home to a homeless child rather than bring in more children of their own...Normally adoption process takes a long time and the baby is handed over when they are a few months old or even a year old in some cases which hardly matters...And as far as masking the truth, that is the worst damage that can be done to a child especially after he or she grows into an adult and co es o know through other sources.

There are counselling classes and sessions for would be adopters and they are given advise as to how to go about making the child aware that she or he is an adopted child rather than keep it a secret which is a totally wrong attitude !

I agree with you., Counseling for the adopters will be good. As the child grows up if the child knows the fact that he was an adopted child may lead to more difficulties. Counseling will help in this regard. 

MG Singh wrote:

Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50  or even later. 

I tend to agree with that, marriage should be a personal choice not a compulsion and one should not go by the standards laid down by the society. I have a male cousin who was married at the age of 22 , an arranged marriage which broke up in 3 years time after which he was disillusioned. His wife coped better and got married again after 4 years. He went through many phases of life . Now he has found someone who he feels is the right partner for him and he is 43 years old. The entire family and his well wishers are very happy for him !