Love new ways

Now we are well past the age of Heer and Ranjha, Laila and Majnu etc but enter into the age where love begins while you sign-in into networking sites and ends while you log-out. Love birds are no more singing old fashioned songs, which said that they would live and die for each other but they live their life as long as there on that particular site and as soon one of the partners log-out, find another one to live happily once again. Actually, some networking sites have become perfect love platforms for them where they come communicate, chat, love, date and hate. Yes- It is as easy as that.

As easy as 123

Networking sites, especially Facebook is providing boys and girls so easy opportunities to get involved with opposite sex as counting up to three, just look at an interesting profile send your friendship request and get going. The questions as to whom you have sent your request, how the person is, is he/she married or unmarried are not important any more. The virtual love has changed the meaning of love. The persons who dared not talk with guys or girls in real world are openly expressing themselves. They are not worried that the person with whom they are spending time chatting could be altogether different in real. That is virtual love for you, never mind the realities.

From chat rooms to bedrooms

The way internet is spreading its wings it’s providing a mega speed to relationship online, which does not take long to come to ground in most cases. In almost 75% cases it brings couples to meet, which they call dating and ultimately to bedroom. You shall be surprised to know that most couples who started friendships on internet have a common believe that friendships are for one purpose only and that leads to bedrooms, they call it ‘chat friendship- pat sex’. The fact is that four out of five girls and three out of five boys end up in bedrooms, which come across each other through networking sites where as the people who meet in real world take years to reach to this stage. Almost 80% men and 60% women feel that social media tools lead to sex faster and easily. Most people feel that it’s one of the easiest tasks to be loose online, offer dating that leads to bedroom ultimately is one of the easiest tasks, and the strangest of these all is that the other party does not hesitate for a moment in most cases.  

The reason is simple for such a fast action about chatting, dating, lovemaking and ultimately hating that when some one meets in real world, shyness plays its role but while it’s all about on Internet one does not have to make the eye contact, which makes all the difference. That opens the couple easily and they do not hesitate to express their feelings. They find it easy because they do not feel shy or have to think about people around them. Online meetings make them extra open and discuss easily whatever comes to their mind even offering their friends to come to the final stage- the sex and most of them succeed.

Most people  accept it that they would have not accepted the proposal of going to bedroom had it been face to face but while it came through Facebook it was hard to decline because while chatting they had been involved in sexy discussions, which made them feel easy about this topic. Their hesitation had gone to a great extent. They did not find any thing wrong with such a proposal and accepted it easily. This was truer in cases of girls who despite being ready otherwise cannot accept it in real world but find it easy to say yes online. That is one of the main reasons that most girls feel cheated while they find that their online friend who offered to share bed later vanished once they accepted their invitation and gave in to their demand.

There are cases where girls committed suicide 

Girls are more sentimental than boys are as far relations are concerned although situation is changing fast and girls too are taking these relations as casually as boys do. Maybe the reason for such changes are the financial independence of women, their education level or this could be the newly acquired awareness of equality with men maybe the extra shrewdness or to prove themselves as super women whatever. However, one thing is still true that despite the women are out to prove themselves brave and adventures they are still as sentimental as they used to be, the suicides and attempts to suicides, which take place after failed relation are any indications, although men are no exceptions. I have few examples here-

A- A women  in Taiwan committed suicide online in presence and full view of her friends who kept requesting her to not to do it but she did not oblige them and finished her life while still telling her friends about her partner who did not come to stay with her on her birthday despite his promise. 

B- A student who was cheated by his lover in our own country sent a suicide note to the boy and when he came online she switched the web cam on and hanged herself to finish her life.

C- Julie Jalinski, a British girl has accepted in a Brit court that her lover Rolland in India committed suicide during video chat just because they had some disputes while courting online.

D- A boy committed suicide in Varanasi, India only a couple of weeks before after a failed relationship that also started on a social networking site and that also ended online, however this is neither new nor going to end any time soon but are here to stay.

Do you think this would carry on?

Instances where married lives ended due to such online relations have their own stories and in millions but the million dollar question that arises when we hear such love affairs and their results that how long such activities would go on – the answer is simple, these are here to stay maybe these will increase in future. There is another question that is more apt in this reference, which asks about the reality of such relations. In most cases these affairs are not out of love but are clear cases of flirting. I don’t mind if they are having fun without spending money as long as this is limited to fun but when it goes beyond and take an ugly shape there begins the problem. When it makes one of the partners to commit suicide and bring him or her to deathbed that makes it a problem.

“I love you only” and then send it to “all”  

You never know that the message you just received reading ‘I love you’ is for you or sent to the whole list of friends of the sender! Actually the virtual love has changed the values of love to the extent that most people have forgotten about true love. The love that was so special once and was hard to fall into has become so easy. Remember the days when it needed a library, a canteen, a restaurant, a public park or dark corner to exchange a slip or few niceties in hurry and looking around to make sure that no relative or neighbor was witness to our affairs.

 There were moments, which were available in family functions or at workplaces but no one would propose suddenly for the reason that every one knew each other personally or about their behavior. One would take steps slowly towards a steady relation after knowing about each other’s likings and disliking in a phased manner. There was an excitement, a strange feeling of sensation while proposing with a suspicion of refusal. Now there is nothing like that, no one takes a moment before proposing or even offering dirty invitations because there is no eye contact that used to be the main hurdle. Today you have no choice but to trust the writing in the profile and by the time you know the reality. You only feel cheated at that point and think differently but then it is too late.  

Social networking sites are good for good

Yep, you read me right most people think that social networking sites have been developed for them to use opposite sex by giving wrong information about themselves, make proposals, net them, take them to bedroom and that’s it. Wait there is more to it, some of them go a few steps ahead as they do a photo session or video shoot of the act to blackmail the victim and mind you this is not only the men but women also are involved in such acts. In fact whole lot of gangs is busy operating in such rackets. Therefore there is a need to be extra cautious if you are looking for an online relationship.

Social networking sites no doubt are good for good purpose and doing wonderfully well for genuine relations, but when we encounter fake people on such platforms those are out to cheat you, you can do nothing but to use your wisdom. 

The reality of love makers

Social networking sites have many fake accounts, which are reason for increasing number of suicides, divorce and breakup. People are active with fake photos and information about themselves involving unsuspecting people into relationships and when the other party becomes serious and finds out the reality that cause depression. What I feel that Internet should also use some kind of authentication before letting a member upload his photo and data to make sure that no such cases take place in future. There is official data that has proved beyond any doubt that most cases of divorces and breakup were due to fake identities and data provided by on-line users that caused mental harassment and serious crimes were committed.

Every thing is not bad

We know that there are strange things taking place on different networking sites as far love affairs are concerned but not all affairs are fake or unsuccessful, some of them are as good as in real world. I know about one such relationship where one of my close friends is involved, incidentally the girl is also not stranger for me. I shall not mention the real name of my friend here to hide his identity. He and this girl were in the same management institute with me but the girl was a junior by one year. I know it that I saw them both talking to each other but nothing more. I later forgot the story while joined a company in Bangalore and my friend let me call him AB went out of the country to UK. 

We met years later in Delhi while I was posted in Delhi and he was working in a US based company, this was in the year 2004. I asked him about different things including his married life. He smiled and asked me if I could remember the girl at our management institute. I said yes, I could remember, but could not recall her face as I had almost forgotten about her. He smiled again and told that he found her on a networking site while browsing through that professional site. I had also joined that site in 2004 but not very active there, as I was too busy with my assignments and was on the run for almost 4 days a week and too busy in office.

AB invited me to a famous restaurant next evening for dinner with his friend and I was surprised to find that the friend was none other than the same girl who was with us in college. Yes the same but no more a girl but a matured woman who was working in a British company as a senior marketing post and still unmarried. AB and that girl met on that professional site and instantly recognized each other to meet in a London based restaurant where they were serving in different companies. Later they both decided to change jobs to come back to India and settled. 

Conclusion

Networking sites are not good or bad but this is people who make them good or bad. However the need to be careful is our responsibility because the internet has changed the world to a great extent. Online love has come to stay but the members are advised to be very careful while making friends or chatting with them.

Note- Photos from wikipedia