My parents celebrated their 25th anniversary just a few weeks back. Their 25 year courtship has seen many ups and downs, but they sailed through smoothly and happily. The base of their relationship was strengthened by love, loyalty and understanding. I have grown up observing them and have learnt the true meaning of loving, caring and sharing. Here it is from a grown up daughter’s point of view how to lead a happy married life along with your spouse and kids.

Love, trust and understanding form the base

We all know the mantra to a successful marriage or to any relationship are the three ingredients of love, trust and understanding. I believe trust is earned and love happens gradually. Understanding develops in with time and may depend on the behavioral aspects of the couple. I was surprised to know that my parents had hardly ever met before their marriage; they had just seen the photographs of each other. This may sound weird to my fellows of the present generation who now a days go for multiple dates and even live-ins to ensure that they are marrying the right partner. Like the economy of the country has undergone a steep change in the past few decades so has the level of human reliability on the relationships among the race. Give time to your relationship and make a commitment towards the responsibilities that come with marriage. 

Your Partner has to be your friend

A German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche had rightly said " It is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." My mother often tells me how difficult it is for a girl to leave her own family and become a part of your husband's nest. She recounts when she was married the first bond that came into being and blossomed into love was that of friendship. They became the best of friends and that served as the ice breaker between the two. The friendship gradually blossomed into never ending loving, caring and sharing. Friendship is the first step to a happy marriage life. And when you are a very good friend of your partner life becomes an fun filled ride. My parents share a strong bond of friendship that has together dealt with the tough problems of life and continue doing so. 

Fights are a part of Marriage

There might not be any couple in the world who has never had a fight. Differences are bound to evolve and sometimes there are the petty reasons that act as the culprits against the harmony between the couple. Your partner's habit of leaving the wet towel on the bed or not keeping the things at the right place may infuriate you, our Bollywood films are full of examples! My father often says fights strengthen a relationship. I asked him how that could be possible. He smiled and explained whenever your mother and I have a fight due to which we do not talk to each other for some time, I start missing her and gradually that reminds me of her importance in my life and the same happens with her. Besides this petty fights between couples is a normal thing and often that helps one in learning you partner’s likes or dislikes. Well the couples know it better.

My family equal to your family

In most of the cases the reason for stress among couples is the way they treat each other’s families. Accepting the families of each other is very important. One should never hurl negative arguments about the family of other. And this rule should be followed by both the partners hands down. Nothing hurts more than a negative comment about your parents or siblings. Even if you are not happy with the behavior of your partner’s family member, try best to ignore it or solve it at your own level. Unless required do not complain about it to your better half. Consider your spouse’s family as yours and you will never need to face such a situation.

Love sans respect will do no good

Respect in a relationship is also mutual. You will get respect in turn if you respect your spouse’s feelings. No two people are alike and differences among a couple in terms of priorities in life, thinking on various subjects, the way to look at various things may arise. There are instances when the couple may not agree on the same point that is when both should consider each other’s point of view, see from their partner’s perspective and that is when decision making becomes a smooth task.

Blame game may harm your relationship

A child gets low marks in his examination. The mother blames her husband as he never has time for the kids and their studies. In turn the husband castigates at her for not being attentive towards the child’s performance at school. The result is just a long melodrama of verbal arguments between the couple. This serves no solution! Our life is like a bicycle which needs both the pedals for running smoothly without halts. So both of have to find a solution together.

It’s good to go for a holiday often

With kids, job and a house to manage it becomes difficult to find time out for a holiday. But the couple should manage some days out of their schedule and go for a family outing often. The day to day pressures of life lead to unwanted stress and depression that may even harm the affectionate bond between you and your spouse. So as my happy parents do! I advise you to go for some lovely family outings often to revive the freshness of your lives. Picnics, small trips to a hill stations during the summers, family dinners at restaurants…there are innumerable ways to sneak out some time away from all the hotch-potch of the monotony of present day fast paced life.

My parents have taught me to find joy in small little things and enjoying life as it comes. We have only one life so let us make it a happy one...trust me it is all in our hands.