That was wonderful time

I remember the time I had spent with my grandmother in a city far off from the place my father was posted during my childhood. Being the eldest of children in family my grandma who felt she was so alone insisted I lived with her because there was no male member in her household as my uncle, a CA posted in Calcutta and my father an engineer posted in Lucknow. It affected my schooling but my father always sent me with her during my pre middle schooling. 

I still remember she told me about so many family traditions that my mother or father never told us about, one of them amused me most and I found most interesting the Yagya (Yajna). Being an Arya Samaji family my grandma and tow unmarried aunts (sister of my father) carried out regularly the Yajna every evening in a simple way. There was no show business but a simple fire using small mango woods fired in a steel pan and Gayatri Mantra that I can still recall a few lines of –

OM bhur bhuvah svah

tat savitur vareniyam

bhargo devasya dhi

dhiyo yo nah prachodayat.

My memories

Incidentally, I have few sweet memories associated with this Mantra. I remember when my daughter was admitted in DAV Public school in class one, they chanted this Mantra in her school’ morning assembly before National Anthem and every Tuesday after the recess in main assembly hall. My daughter always sang it with her own version of words that sounded so sweet we all laughed and insisted she sang it again and again. Same was with National Anthem, her selection of words she replaced we still find so funny that makes us laugh. But then she was five year old and the tune of the songs was so perfect we never missed the original words.

Back to my grandma, I remember all what she taught me right from the age of seven I stayed with her for months at a time unless I missed my mom and my siblings or my mom wanted me back with her. If you ask me I was being treated like a shuttlecock spending some time with parents and some time with granny and aunts. I was happy at both places.  

The change

Now, when I see such a situation when most of the families are living in far off places whatever the reason, most of the time the reason is job related though, I feel sorry for both grandparents as well as grand children that both of them find so little of each other’s company and keep wishing they could meet more often. People like me those having a very small family and staying in different countries really suffer so much. I feel as if I have no meaning left in life despite being too busy with professional demands.

Importance of grandparents

In this age when the life is so busy if a family consisting of parents and their children and grandparents living together is a blessing. It’s more important in case both the parents are working and children have no one but servants to look after them the role of grandparent increases to a great extent. We need grandparents’ role in the life of our children to teach them the lessons related to life our children need to learn. In my views grandparents are the best teachers. Let’s make them feel they have important place in our homes, they have their own role to play in the lives of our children, they are not unwanted or burden on us.

We all agree it’s hard to adjust grandparents in small houses available to single families working in big cities especially in metros the importance of grandparents is more significant in such situation where both parents work, children find no one to help during their busy schedule of school and tuitions etc and the parents of such families living a lonely life in a distant city or village. However, if we only try to find a solution of such a situation that should not be all that difficult. I know there is a respectable solution to this difficult looking problem but the need is to look at it with wider perceptive. You’ll have to look at it with an extraordinarily perceptive account of their relationship with your parents and your children; you will immediately see the solution. Besides most children love to be with their grandparents for the love they get from them. There is a very famous saying I would like to quote here, “the interest is dearer than that of principal amount”. Most grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children.  Children feel as if they have some kind of security umbrella around them if their grandparents are there to help them.

Children feel safe

Ask any expert and they will immediately tell you that more children suffer from depression that live in single families and both their parents are working. They will also tell you children living in joint family better develop mentally as well physically because they have more people to look after them with more love and affection. A joint family is symbol of security for children having someone to look after them for the entire duration when they are at home. The sense of someone to behind them solves all their problems and keeps children free from all tension that the children in single family have to face. They feel lot safer and secured comparatively.

Grandparents have lot more to offer to children after they return from school rather what they get in a daycare center or empty home when back from school. Children feel a sense of satisfaction without having to worry their parents are not home to take care of them. That saves them from developing lots of bad complexes in their tender minds.

Traditions and grandparents

It’s fun to be with grandparents as children learn a lot about their family traditions, family’s history, childhood of their parents and so many other things from them. The grandparents tell them about their achievements and mistakes that helps a sense of will for achievements in children as well. They learn what is good and what is wrong when elderly people tell them in detail. All these things sound small but have a very significant impression on children’s mind to help them become better citizen in the process. They always remember their grandparents for their teachings in their adult lives. I still have my granny in my memory more than my grandpa because I stayed with her more than I spent time with my grandfather.  

What would you give your child?

It sounds like a simple question but the choice is yours, if your parents are with you to look after your family your child would spend more time with his grandparents otherwise a computer or mobile would be probably his only company to live with. I am hundred percent sure a child would prefer to spend his time hearing his grandparents rather than watching cartoon channels or playing video games. Grandparents are one of the best sources for development of a child of information and affection combined together. 

I remember my grandma for the amusing stories she used to tell me from Panchtantra about the importance of truth, fairness and justice. I agree we don’t remember them all but grandparents are always a good source of good foundation for children’s development.

You have to show the path

You will have to make sure your children know the value of their grandparents and for that you’ll have to set the example. You will have to treat your parents with respect and teach your children to do the same otherwise nothing will work the way it should. Your children will not know the value of your parents unless you’ll set the example and your parents will do their best in bringing up the children. It will help your cause as well as children behave the same way they see their parents doing as role models. 

Conclusion

You should know children feel safe and secured with their grandparents but that doesn't lessen your own responsibilities. You’ll have to keep a constant watch on their development, progress, requirements and schooling. If you think you will leave everything to your parents and spend all your spare time for your own entertainment you will regret later you will see your bonding level going down with your own children. You should spend some time with your parents as well and try to understand their problems too. That will make a big difference in understanding and bring up your child in a balanced manner with the help of your parents.