I take this opportunity to touch on a topic that has affected most of us at some point or another in our life and that is strained relationships. Not many would like to have a strained relationship affect their lives whether it is with neighbours, colleagues or at owns own home with parents, spouses, children or relatives but invariably find themselves in a situation where they are victims of strained relationships.
While the best thing is to avoid issues which lead to strained relationships it is easier said than done. However if a person becomes a victim of a strained relationships due to his fault or forced by situations and circumstances then the following tips would help in rebuilding relationship with that person though the scars will remain forever.
Stop talking for a while:- Most people after having strained a relationship damage it further with repeated provocations just to show who has emerged the winner in the entire episose while the provocation from others is out of sheer frustration generated due to the strain undergone in the break up. There are some people who go to the other extreme to pacify the other person and while it the intent is good from the initiator it is often misunderstood as a surrender by the other person. The best way to address the issue is to stop talking for a while and while it may sound negative the results are actually positive as both the parties are bound to feel guilty with each passing day and are bound to feel sympathetic towards the other person. This has worked in many cases where the patch up has happened faster than expected due to silence. If at all silence speaks then it speaks very well in the case of strained relationships. This formula has worked out wonderfully well especially at workplace where a person spends the maximum time in a day.
Please do not disclose sensitive issues with your loved ones:- If you have fought with your brother then do not disclose it with your wife. Your wife being possessive will always have a grudge against your brother even after a patch up. It is also possible that your wife out of your possessivenessmay take up the issue with your brother or his wife or both and complicate matters further. Women in general are known to be extremely possessive about their family members and are known to react strongly to sensitive issues.
Never discuss issue with mediators:- Most mediators are known to be crooked and actually wait for opportunities to complicate things as they tend to derive sadistic pleasure in seeing others suffering. Mediators escalate things by distorting facts. For example if you have told the mediator 70% good things and 30% bad things about the friend with whom you had a fight which ended in a strained relationship, the mediator is surely going to tell only 30% bad things and conveniently hide the 70% good opinion you had about your friend. There are others who are good at heart but most of them are not dependable due to poor communications and that certainly is not going to help your cause.
Patience more than anything else is the key in repairing broken relationships.