`What's communication?

The dictionary meaning of communication says,'imparting or exchange of information by speaking, writing or some other medium. We all know that having skills in communication, enables us to maintain healthy relations. We will be successful in our respective work places.Our family relations and bindings become stronger. Trust and respect on one another are strengthened. On the whole an effective communicator moulds his life as he wishes.

Ingredients of Communication.

Communication is a combo of Verbals and Body movements. 

Out of the above two components of communication Body movements constitute, more than 55%. .From this one can understand the importance of Non - verbal communication. Non - Verbal communication is also known as 'Body language.'

Why should we give importance to Body language

Body language is more believable ,reliable and more authentic than the verbal communication.

Consider this example.

You just heard a bad news that caused an upset in you.In this state of bad mood, a friend comes and asks you, 'Are you alright?' . In a bid to hide your feelings, you turn away from him and say,"I'm fine. What made you ask?. I'm alright.'

But your friend seemed not satisfied with your answer, turned you towards him and says, 'No, you are lying. Something wrong with you for sure.'

What sort of clue did your friend get from you, that made him know the real situation? 

It's non-congruence.

Congruence is the relation between non-verbal and verbal messages. They should agree with each other.If there is no congruence between verbal and non -verbal messages,the clues are exposed. In the  incident above, your friend has recognized that there is no congruence between your non- verbal message and verbal gestures. Though your verbal message says you are alright, the gesture of your turning away from him, that there is no truth in your saying. Owing to this reason, your friend insisted you to say truth.

Hence it can be concluded that your knowledge in knowing the nuances of congruence and  in-congruence will make you an expert communicator.

Context makes a difference.

One should know the meanings of non -verbal communication vary from context to context.One should also know that it's not possible to know the reason for a particular gesture always. For example, while standing in  the bus shelter awaiting for the bus that takes you to your office, suddenly you found that an important document, that you are supposed to carry to your office was left on your drawing room table. If one happens to see your facial gesture, covering your mouth and start running towards your home, one cannot say, what made you run towards your home.

The same gesture you use if you happen to see an untoward incident. Hence it establishes the fact that the reason for your non- verbal gesture is not possible by the onlookers except you.

How these body gestures are learned?

The origins of non -verbal communication is the family itself. Children while observing their peers how they express to indicate their displeasure to reprimand when a wrong deed was done will learn from the gestures they see their elders using their index finger across their lips to indicate what they have done is wrong.  Similarly,Girls learn to cover their mouth while laughing from their mothers. 

All these non- verbal gestures are mostly learned from the elders of the family.

Regional and cultural backgrounds too play an important role.

In India certain people from certain regions use the non -verbal gesture of nodding their head from side to side to indicate 'No"  But the same gesture is understood in some other regions differently. Another gesture is to indicate that one is paying all attention towards a person's speech, people look straight in to the eyes of the speaker. Where as some take it as gesture of defiance in another region.

Hence, understanding the variations in non -verbal gestures is absolutely essential to master the Body language or non - verbal communication.

Facial gestures.

Out of all the body organs, Face is said to give lot of clues about the emotions. Owing to this reason,Face is considered to be the  treasure chest of non - verbal communication. Every part on the face especially eyes and mouth give a plethora of clues to read the emotions of a person like a book.. If you cover the entire face of a person and try to read his emotions, you will find it impossible to read what his emotions are. But just by seeing the eyes and mouth, majority of a person's emotions can be read.

Imagine, you are on a tour to a place where the people speak a different language which you do not understand. You were on an outing for a bit of shopping to buy a doll to your dear daughter.You found the right store and you entered the shop. Your eyes ran along the length and breadth of the shop and found the doll you wanted. Then,you pointed towards the doll in the shelf . The counter man, knowing your intention shows the doll with his raised eye brows, as if asking you, 'Is it the one?'. Then, you nod your head up and down, indicating, 'Yes.' 

That's the effectiveness of non -verbal gestures.Without knowing the language and without opening your mouth, You could manage with gestures.

Likewise, raised eyebrows or lowered eyebrows, A smooth forehead or a wrinkled forehead to name a few are capable of providing valuable clues to read one's emotions.

Experiment to note the effectiveness,

Try telling a story to your children with a straight face.Talk with your colleagues about an incident you encountered while on your way to office . During the talk, express with all the related gestures connected with the incident. Notice the differences in the emotions in the listeners. You will not fail to see the marked difference in the emotions of the receivers when your messages are congruous and when your messages are otherwise.

Gestures Speak.

Don't dismiss gestures of Arms and hands, Legs and feet as mere habitual movements of the person with whom you talk.These non -verbal movements convey lot of meanings. Every movement translates itself in to words. You might have come across with people who use lot of hand gestures, even when they are talking over a phone.If you can hear what the other person on the phone, you will find the hidden messages behind those hand gestures.

The most familiar gestures made with arms and hands are, 'Shrugging the shoulders.' Ask a person if he knows about something about a thing about which, he is not familiar, he will shrug his shoulders. By this, the other person whom you asked, very clearly indicates, 'I don't know.'Akin to these gestures made with arms and hands, we come across with gesture like, 'scratching the head.' when some one is perplexed or met with an incident that makes them undone.

What your posture says? 

After a hard day's work, the moment you reach home, you throw your bag on to the sofa and slump down on the nearest chair, Your family members will hesitate to come near you. Your posture is a clear indication of your physical state.That you are dog tired, that you are not in a state of speaking is the unsaid message behind your posture.

When you are seeing a movie, without your knowledge, you change your leaning back posture to leaning forward posture seeing an interesting scene on the screen.

While you are walking, an erect and straight posture speaks volumes about your confidence. And it also sends the message about your 'Openness.' When you are listening to a person, with your hands in the pockets and a leaning head, signifies you are enjoying the other man's speech. So in a nutshell we can say, 'Posture plays a crucial role' in conveying the message loud and clear.

How close you are standing or sitting?

Another detrimental feature that carries a message in the realm of Body language is the distance while you are conversing with a person. All of us are aware, we dare to approach a person to a closer distance only when we are close to that particular person. Distance between you and the person with whom you are talking speaks about your closeness.

When your superior officer calls you for a discussion on a matter related to office, you will not sit very close to him. You maintain a respectable distance. Where as this is not so in case of your wife or your close friend. Generally, it's considered the distance one maintains while talking is the factor that signifies the degree of closeness as far as relationships are considered.

Here we have to take in to consideration the beliefs, that exist in some societies.In India, if a man and woman who are not related in any way maintain a respectable distance even though they are known to each other. On the other side, if a man goes closer to a woman, it's treated as a sign of disrespect.

Hence,  one should understand the importance of non - verbal communication or body language is as important as Verbal communication, if not more.