Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Rita Rudner

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831 When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
862 Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
783 Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
738 My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
773 My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

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