About the topic in discussion - On a lighter note my 3 kiids always complain me of being partial to the other and I say that since all 3 feel the same I am actually very fair ...Comparing sometimes cannot be avoided because you do it to encourage your children but how you go about it is far more important, as long as the results are positive it is alright but in general comparisons should be avoided altogether !

Comparing if done to create a competitive spirit amongst the children is Ok. And it's highly essential for the parents to let the children know your intentions. Otherwise comparison will lead to a huge damage that's irrevocable.

And then who will set the damage right ?

One who made the comparison.

By counselling techniques I hope .

Definitely NO. When the parent knew that a particular way has backfired, that parent resorts to another technique. At least thats what I do.Parenting is not giving up. It's perseverance with unlimited patience.it needs loads of courage and confidence. Of course those who cannot may go for councilling. As I have been saying all along I will never look towards some body for a job, when I myself can do with more efficiency and finesse.

Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.[/quote

I'm firm about my views on Parenting where in there is no place for Councilling. Let me tell you that i used my parenting techniques alone which gave me results beyond imagination. My techniques were used successfully not only on my children, but also on the children of my friends in my apartment whose parents after trying with your so called Technically trained councillors were vexed and approached me.
Let me tell you What all i said was all from my own experience.
A hyper active child who could not be controlled neither by the parents nor by the councillors was set right with one single art lesson. And i'm sure none of the councillors could have done even an iota better than me. That's why i claim with confidence about judging my self.

About the topic in discussion - On a lighter note my 3 kiids always complain me of being partial to the other and I say that since all 3 feel the same I am actually very fair ...Comparing sometimes cannot be avoided because you do it to encourage your children but how you go about it is far more important, as long as the results are positive it is alright but in general comparisons should be avoided altogether !

Comparing if done to create a competitive spirit amongst the children is Ok. And it's highly essential for the parents to let the children know your intentions. Otherwise comparison will lead to a huge damage that's irrevocable.

And then who will set the damage right ?

One who made the comparison.

By counselling techniques I hope .

Definitely NO. When the parent knew that a particular way has backfired, that parent resorts to another technique. At least thats what I do.Parenting is not giving up. It's perseverance with unlimited patience.it needs loads of courage and confidence. Of course those who cannot may go for councilling. As I have been saying all along I will never look towards some body for a job, when I myself can do with more efficiency and finesse.

Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.[/quote

I'm firm about my views on Parenting where in there is no place for Councilling. Let me tell you that i used my parenting techniques alone which gave me results beyond imagination. My techniques were used successfully not only on my children, but also on the children of my friends in my apartment whose parents after trying with your so called Technically trained councillors were vexed and approached me.
Let me tell you What all i said was all from my own experience.
A hyper active child who could not be controlled neither by the parents nor by the councillors was set right with one single art lesson. And i'm sure none of the councillors could have done even an iota better than me. That's why i claim with confidence about judging my self.

Somewhere inside you there is a counsellor. All the more reason you should be supportive of counselling and counsellors. Didn't the other parents trust you with their children. Sure like doctors there are both good and less good counsellors. After all there will always be very few born counsellors others will have to be taught. Both are equally important. Keep counselling.

About the topic in discussion - On a lighter note my 3 kiids always complain me of being partial to the other and I say that since all 3 feel the same I am actually very fair ...Comparing sometimes cannot be avoided because you do it to encourage your children but how you go about it is far more important, as long as the results are positive it is alright but in general comparisons should be avoided altogether !

Comparing if done to create a competitive spirit amongst the children is Ok. And it's highly essential for the parents to let the children know your intentions. Otherwise comparison will lead to a huge damage that's irrevocable.

And then who will set the damage right ?

One who made the comparison.

By counselling techniques I hope .

Definitely NO. When the parent knew that a particular way has backfired, that parent resorts to another technique. At least thats what I do.Parenting is not giving up. It's perseverance with unlimited patience.it needs loads of courage and confidence. Of course those who cannot may go for councilling. As I have been saying all along I will never look towards some body for a job, when I myself can do with more efficiency and finesse.

Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.[/quote

I'm firm about my views on Parenting where in there is no place for Councilling. Let me tell you that i used my parenting techniques alone which gave me results beyond imagination. My techniques were used successfully not only on my children, but also on the children of my friends in my apartment whose parents after trying with your so called Technically trained councillors were vexed and approached me.
Let me tell you What all i said was all from my own experience.
A hyper active child who could not be controlled neither by the parents nor by the councillors was set right with one single art lesson. And i'm sure none of the councillors could have done even an iota better than me. That's why i claim with confidence about judging my self.

Somewhere inside you there is a counsellor. All the more reason you should be supportive of counselling and counsellors. Didn't the other parents trust you with their children. Sure like doctors there are both good and less good counsellors. After all there will always be very few born counsellors others will have to be taught. Both are equally important. Keep counselling.[/quote

That there is a councillor in me is known to you? And about which I don't know?. If it is there, i will call myself as an extraordinary Parent.

With the advent of corporate school culture, education has become nothing but a lucrative trade. We have been seeing the ways adopted by these schools which are mere empty assurances. In this background I lost faith in the term “Counseling”.
Instead, Parents should learn to peep into the child’s behioural patterns and deal accordingly. A daunting task indeed. But that’s what parenting is. I for one avoid counseling and keep it at a bay.

With the advent of corporate school culture, education has become nothing but a lucrative trade. We have been seeing the ways adopted by these schools which are mere empty assurances. In this background I lost faith in the term “Counseling”.
Instead, Parents should learn to peep into the child’s behioural patterns and deal accordingly. A daunting task indeed. But that’s what parenting is. I for one avoid counseling and keep it at a bay.

That is the case with many schools, especially the new-age tech-savvy, glamorous schools with exorbitant fees. Yet there still are many schools who are genuinely concerned about teaching children the right values. The same can be said about counselors. For educated and conscientious parents like you who read a lot and generally keep yourself updated about what goes on in life, it is not at all a problem. But there are still many uneducated parents who need to be shown the correct way of dealing with children, for such counselors are truly needed. Even many parents have a negative approach when they are asked to see a counselor, but for those who do approach them with an open mind, the results are indeed positive and consistent![/quote

I'm in full agreement with your view. The point i want to drive home is. after parents, Teacher is the person who is close to the student. Where the parents fail, Teacher grasps the strengths and weaknesses of the student. That's why, as Usha mentioned elsewhere in this discussion that a continuous and constant communication between the parents and the teachers would go a long way. As an effective alternative to councilling, i prefer constant interaction between the parents and the teachers. This practice is still there in some schools where these aspects are discussed in the Parent - Teacher Meets.

Vijay wrote:
[quote]Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.

About the topic in discussion - On a lighter note my 3 kiids always complain me of being partial to the other and I say that since all 3 feel the same I am actually very fair ...Comparing sometimes cannot be avoided because you do it to encourage your children but how you go about it is far more important, as long as the results are positive it is alright but in general comparisons should be avoided altogether !

Comparing if done to create a competitive spirit amongst the children is Ok. And it's highly essential for the parents to let the children know your intentions. Otherwise comparison will lead to a huge damage that's irrevocable.

And then who will set the damage right ?

One who made the comparison.

By counselling techniques I hope .

Definitely NO. When the parent knew that a particular way has backfired, that parent resorts to another technique. At least thats what I do.Parenting is not giving up. It's perseverance with unlimited patience.it needs loads of courage and confidence. Of course those who cannot may go for councilling. As I have been saying all along I will never look towards some body for a job, when I myself can do with more efficiency and finesse.

Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.[/quote

I'm firm about my views on Parenting where in there is no place for Councilling. Let me tell you that i used my parenting techniques alone which gave me results beyond imagination. My techniques were used successfully not only on my children, but also on the children of my friends in my apartment whose parents after trying with your so called Technically trained councillors were vexed and approached me.
Let me tell you What all i said was all from my own experience.
A hyper active child who could not be controlled neither by the parents nor by the councillors was set right with one single art lesson. And i'm sure none of the councillors could have done even an iota better than me. That's why i claim with confidence about judging my self.

Somewhere inside you there is a counsellor. All the more reason you should be supportive of counselling and counsellors. Didn't the other parents trust you with their children. Sure like doctors there are both good and less good counsellors. After all there will always be very few born counsellors others will have to be taught. Both are equally important. Keep counselling.[/quote

That there is a councillor in me is known to you? And about which I don't know?. If it is there, i will call myself as an extraordinary Parent.

You sure are an extraordinary parent as you helped the children of other parents also based on the techniques developed by you. A very noble gesture. That is exactly what counselors also do with children who do not have access to gifted individuals like you. The destination is same the journey is different.

About the topic in discussion - On a lighter note my 3 kiids always complain me of being partial to the other and I say that since all 3 feel the same I am actually very fair ...Comparing sometimes cannot be avoided because you do it to encourage your children but how you go about it is far more important, as long as the results are positive it is alright but in general comparisons should be avoided altogether !

Comparing if done to create a competitive spirit amongst the children is Ok. And it's highly essential for the parents to let the children know your intentions. Otherwise comparison will lead to a huge damage that's irrevocable.

And then who will set the damage right ?

One who made the comparison.

By counselling techniques I hope .

Definitely NO. When the parent knew that a particular way has backfired, that parent resorts to another technique. At least thats what I do.Parenting is not giving up. It's perseverance with unlimited patience.it needs loads of courage and confidence. Of course those who cannot may go for councilling. As I have been saying all along I will never look towards some body for a job, when I myself can do with more efficiency and finesse.

Of course those who cannot may go for counselling -- this is what I wanted you to agree to and thanks for doing so.The techniques used by trained counsellors are acquired by undergoing degree courses and parents generally are not aware of these. Counsellors are not in competition to parents but are a support system. It is gaining popularity as people are recognizing its immense benefits. You have said that you will never look towards some body for a job,which you yourselves can do more efficiently and with more finnesse. But how do you know, when you are not a trained counsellor and what is the reference against which you are judging yourself?
With this I rest my arguments and thank you for bearing with me. If any comment of mine has hurt you I apologise as that was never the intention. I have seen many persons benefit from proper counselling and wanted to impress upon you its benefits. But you have inflexible views on it as you are seeing it as an affront to parenthood which simply is not the case.

But where has Tanya escaped by starting the thread which we two have weaved so far.[/quote

I'm firm about my views on Parenting where in there is no place for Councilling. Let me tell you that i used my parenting techniques alone which gave me results beyond imagination. My techniques were used successfully not only on my children, but also on the children of my friends in my apartment whose parents after trying with your so called Technically trained councillors were vexed and approached me.
Let me tell you What all i said was all from my own experience.
A hyper active child who could not be controlled neither by the parents nor by the councillors was set right with one single art lesson. And i'm sure none of the councillors could have done even an iota better than me. That's why i claim with confidence about judging my self.

Somewhere inside you there is a counsellor. All the more reason you should be supportive of counselling and counsellors. Didn't the other parents trust you with their children. Sure like doctors there are both good and less good counsellors. After all there will always be very few born counsellors others will have to be taught. Both are equally important. Keep counselling.[/quote

That there is a councillor in me is known to you? And about which I don't know?. If it is there, i will call myself as an extraordinary Parent.

You sure are an extraordinary parent as you helped the children of other parents also based on the techniques developed by you. A very noble gesture. That is exactly what counselors also do with children who do not have access to gifted individuals like you. The destination is same the journey is different.

Agreed. After all it's the outcome that counts..