Do you think comparing kids is a healthy habit?

Yes most parents end up highlighting the failures............that's the problem.

It is time that how to be a good parent should be taught in schools so that children are sensitized of these aspects early on.

It can be done through Teacher-Parent interaction regularly.

I am suggesting that the children who are tomorrows parents be taught good parenthood in schools as a part subject. Parent -teacher meetings are done by very few schools and with large classes are not effective. They are a practice of the past

We still do have parent-teacher meets and many issues are discussed.But most parents want to socialise and eat some snacks and leave rather than listen to any kind of discussion - very few parents are interested in speeches by eminent personalities which would help and guide them !

@ Rambabu - If the parents want to socialize in Parent-Teacher meet, no one can help such parents.

That is all the more reason growing children should be taught aspects of good parenthood in schools at a receptive age- they will carry it with them for a life time. You are right parent teacher meetings are for socialization and complaints if child is getting low marks.

First of all Parents need counselling , honestly some of the things they come up is simply shocking ! In my own school one father had advised the teacher taking care of Lower KG children (all below 4 years ) to shut his son in the bathroom if he is difficult to handle. Thankfully the teacher had the sense to report this to the head master. But when the head master spke to him , he felt what he said was right and he openly admitted that he whipped the poor child and also locked him up in his house when he was naughty. It is heart breaking when parents are so cruel, why do they have children at all ?

Madam, I speak from some knowledge of the subject and fully agree that a lot many parents need counselling. When parents bring their behaviorally affected children to counselors it is very evident in the first couple of meetings that it is the parents, usually the father, who needs to be counseled. It is the most difficult task. The male ego is like a thick wall which refuses to give way. Most of the time the mothers are receptive and thru them fathers are worked upon. If it happens the child returns back to normalcy. But children being bought to counselors is very low and many of them discontinue when parents refuse to be counseled. It is sad but that is te reality. It is therefore that I suggest some exposure to good parenthood practices may be taught to students in school. You may try arranging a couple of lectures by counselors in your school, especially to girls. It may be difficult in the beginning but it will be worth it in the long run.

Yes most parents end up highlighting the failures............that's the problem.

It is time that how to be a good parent should be taught in schools so that children are sensitized of these aspects early on.

It can be done through Teacher-Parent interaction regularly.

I am suggesting that the children who are tomorrows parents be taught good parenthood in schools as a part subject. Parent -teacher meetings are done by very few schools and with large classes are not effective. They are a practice of the past

We still do have parent-teacher meets and many issues are discussed.But most parents want to socialise and eat some snacks and leave rather than listen to any kind of discussion - very few parents are interested in speeches by eminent personalities which would help and guide them !

@ Rambabu - If the parents want to socialize in Parent-Teacher meet, no one can help such parents.

That is all the more reason growing children should be taught aspects of good parenthood in schools at a receptive age- they will carry it with them for a life time. You are right parent teacher meetings are for socialization and complaints if child is getting low marks.

First of all Parents need counselling , honestly some of the things they come up is simply shocking ! In my own school one father had advised the teacher taking care of Lower KG children (all below 4 years ) to shut his son in the bathroom if he is difficult to handle. Thankfully the teacher had the sense to report this to the head master. But when the head master spke to him , he felt what he said was right and he openly admitted that he whipped the poor child and also locked him up in his house when he was naughty. It is heart breaking when parents are so cruel, why do they have children at all ?

Madam, I speak from some knowledge of the subject and fully agree that a lot many parents need counselling. When parents bring their behaviorally affected children to counselors it is very evident in the first couple of meetings that it is the parents, usually the father, who needs to be counseled. It is the most difficult task. The male ego is like a thick wall which refuses to give way. Most of the time the mothers are receptive and thru them fathers are worked upon. If it happens the child returns back to normalcy. But children being bought to counselors is very low and many of them discontinue when parents refuse to be counseled. It is sad but that is te reality. It is therefore that I suggest some exposure to good parenthood practices may be taught to students in school. You may try arranging a couple of lectures by counselors in your school, especially to girls. It may be difficult in the beginning but it will be worth it in the long run.

I am actually doing some counselling for high school girls along with another colleague...It has proved helpful although parents never give the required support since it is very essential to have parents take active part since most of the problems begin at home ...

Yes most parents end up highlighting the failures............that's the problem.

It is time that how to be a good parent should be taught in schools so that children are sensitized of these aspects early on.

It can be done through Teacher-Parent interaction regularly.

I am suggesting that the children who are tomorrows parents be taught good parenthood in schools as a part subject. Parent -teacher meetings are done by very few schools and with large classes are not effective. They are a practice of the past

We still do have parent-teacher meets and many issues are discussed.But most parents want to socialise and eat some snacks and leave rather than listen to any kind of discussion - very few parents are interested in speeches by eminent personalities which would help and guide them !

@ Rambabu - If the parents want to socialize in Parent-Teacher meet, no one can help such parents.

That is all the more reason growing children should be taught aspects of good parenthood in schools at a receptive age- they will carry it with them for a life time. You are right parent teacher meetings are for socialization and complaints if child is getting low marks.

First of all Parents need counselling , honestly some of the things they come up is simply shocking ! In my own school one father had advised the teacher taking care of Lower KG children (all below 4 years ) to shut his son in the bathroom if he is difficult to handle. Thankfully the teacher had the sense to report this to the head master. But when the head master spke to him , he felt what he said was right and he openly admitted that he whipped the poor child and also locked him up in his house when he was naughty. It is heart breaking when parents are so cruel, why do they have children at all ?

I know one such father whose son is exactly my son's age, just turned 5. This father is used to beating him up and his elder brother at the drop of a hat, result the elder one is too timid and the younger one too aggressive! The parents need counseling in general and in cases like, psychiatric treatment!

Yes that is an important issue too for young kids. Behavioral issues in children need counseling. This may happen due to some problems at their home or they might be facing some challenges in schools too from teachers or peers that they are unable to express. That needs to be sorted out too. Parents should talk regularly with their kids about their school, about their friends, activities in schools. The kid should be most comfortable at home so that he can talk freely with his or her parent. Unless that is done how can we solve the problem.

No, I think comparing kids is very unhealthy both for the parents and the kid who is subjected to any sort of comparison. But time and again people do compare. In fact if a baby doesn't meet any mile stone within a particular time frame, people start giving details of how their tots are doing everything right on time. Sometimes it so happens that as a parent one starts questioning oneself if everything is okay with their baby or not, parents start doubting their upbringing. Comparison makes both parents and kids anxious. As the kid grows up comparison starts affecting them negatively which mars their natural growth and abilities. After all every human being is unique and is blessed with different qualities and abilities. So, I believe that kids of any age shouldn't be compared.

Comparison with a purpose is welcome and it’s needed to boost the competitive spirit in a child. But utmost care has to be exercised by the parents in this regard. It’s a two edged knife. There is a whale of difference between, “You are useless” and “You can try.”

five fingers are different, siblings are different and comparison of anything is bad, no human is similar to other in appearance and etiquette so why being judge to create high and low mental attitude among kids.

Yes most parents end up highlighting the failures............that's the problem.

It is time that how to be a good parent should be taught in schools so that children are sensitized of these aspects early on.

It can be done through Teacher-Parent interaction regularly.

I am suggesting that the children who are tomorrows parents be taught good parenthood in schools as a part subject. Parent -teacher meetings are done by very few schools and with large classes are not effective. They are a practice of the past

We still do have parent-teacher meets and many issues are discussed.But most parents want to socialise and eat some snacks and leave rather than listen to any kind of discussion - very few parents are interested in speeches by eminent personalities which would help and guide them !

@ Rambabu - If the parents want to socialize in Parent-Teacher meet, no one can help such parents.

That is all the more reason growing children should be taught aspects of good parenthood in schools at a receptive age- they will carry it with them for a life time. You are right parent teacher meetings are for socialization and complaints if child is getting low marks.

First of all Parents need counselling , honestly some of the things they come up is simply shocking ! In my own school one father had advised the teacher taking care of Lower KG children (all below 4 years ) to shut his son in the bathroom if he is difficult to handle. Thankfully the teacher had the sense to report this to the head master. But when the head master spke to him , he felt what he said was right and he openly admitted that he whipped the poor child and also locked him up in his house when he was naughty. It is heart breaking when parents are so cruel, why do they have children at all ?

I know one such father whose son is exactly my son's age, just turned 5. This father is used to beating him up and his elder brother at the drop of a hat, result the elder one is too timid and the younger one too aggressive! The parents need counseling in general and in cases like, psychiatric treatment!

The kind of stories you get to hear from some of the students is horrifying - parents branding them with hot iron rod, tying them up and making them stand in the hot sun ! It is a toture chamber and I have asked one parent why they want to have children and according to them having children is part of life and children shd be taught to obey at any cost and physical punishment is normal nothing to be wary of ! Honestly I find the whole idea repelling..
My 3 kids were really super active driving me up the wall but I never felt the need to beat them up since being firm with them was good enough to make them toe the line..

Yes most parents end up highlighting the failures............that's the problem.

It is time that how to be a good parent should be taught in schools so that children are sensitized of these aspects early on.

It can be done through Teacher-Parent interaction regularly.

I am suggesting that the children who are tomorrows parents be taught good parenthood in schools as a part subject. Parent -teacher meetings are done by very few schools and with large classes are not effective. They are a practice of the past

We still do have parent-teacher meets and many issues are discussed.But most parents want to socialise and eat some snacks and leave rather than listen to any kind of discussion - very few parents are interested in speeches by eminent personalities which would help and guide them !

@ Rambabu - If the parents want to socialize in Parent-Teacher meet, no one can help such parents.

That is all the more reason growing children should be taught aspects of good parenthood in schools at a receptive age- they will carry it with them for a life time. You are right parent teacher meetings are for socialization and complaints if child is getting low marks.

First of all Parents need counselling , honestly some of the things they come up is simply shocking ! In my own school one father had advised the teacher taking care of Lower KG children (all below 4 years ) to shut his son in the bathroom if he is difficult to handle. Thankfully the teacher had the sense to report this to the head master. But when the head master spke to him , he felt what he said was right and he openly admitted that he whipped the poor child and also locked him up in his house when he was naughty. It is heart breaking when parents are so cruel, why do they have children at all ?

I know one such father whose son is exactly my son's age, just turned 5. This father is used to beating him up and his elder brother at the drop of a hat, result the elder one is too timid and the younger one too aggressive! The parents need counseling in general and in cases like, psychiatric treatment!

The kind of stories you get to hear from some of the students is horrifying - parents branding them with hot iron rod, tying them up and making them stand in the hot sun ! It is a toture chamber and I have asked one parent why they want to have children and according to them having children is part of life and children shd be taught to obey at any cost and physical punishment is normal nothing to be wary of ! Honestly I find the whole idea repelling..
My 3 kids were really super active driving me up the wall but I never felt the need to beat them up since being firm with them was good enough to make them toe the line..

I agree with you. Being firm with the children produces miraculous results. After all no one can know better than the parents about their children. Your way of parenting is ideal, sparing the rod and saving the child.

Yes such horrific acts scares the hell out of you. I do not know why parents bring a child into this world if the kid has to face such physical abuse. I think such parents themselves need counseling. They themselves suffer from anxiety and depression. It is really very sad to hear such stories!

Yes such horrific acts scares the hell out of you. I do not know why parents bring a child into this world if the kid has to face such physical abuse. I think such parents themselves need counseling. They themselves suffer from anxiety and depression. It is really very sad to hear such stories!

It becomes a show of strength for some and they feel good after caning their children esp when they have had some frustrating issues with those who are more powerful.....Unless a person carefully plans and then only bring children into this world taking full responsibility for them such practices continue...

Yes such horrific acts scares the hell out of you. I do not know why parents bring a child into this world if the kid has to face such physical abuse. I think such parents themselves need counseling. They themselves suffer from anxiety and depression. It is really very sad to hear such stories!

It becomes a show of strength for some and they feel good after caning their children esp when they have had some frustrating issues with those who are more powerful.....Unless a person carefully plans and then only bring children into this world taking full responsibility for them such practices continue...

Yes such people get a demonic delight well known in the psychological parlances. In Telugu we say "Pysachika Aanandam."

Yes parents thrust their own shortcomings into their child. They might have problems at their workplace or in their marital life and bring out their anger into their children. This anger is passed onto their children who again grow up to be individuals with sometimes some serious psychological issues.

There is a couplet by Tulsi- Bhay bin na preet Gosain (No love without fear) I am not in favor of spanking unnecessarily but we should have a strict control on our children. We failed to keep them under control and the result is for everyone to see. We cannot neglect their misbehavior saying "Children make mistake" they commit mistakes but then we are the ones responsible for their mistakes.

There is a couplet by Tulsi- Bhay bin na preet Gosain (No love without fear) I am not in favor of spanking unnecessarily but we should have a strict control on our children. We failed to keep them under control and the result is for everyone to see. We cannot neglect their misbehavior saying "Children make mistake" they commit mistakes but then we are the ones responsible for their mistakes.

Well said. If children commit mistakes, parents must take charge and do the needful.

Yes children should be made aware of their mistakes. They have to understand that they have done something wrong. So parents must be firm and strict enough so that their child understands that they cannot repeat their mistakes.

There is a couplet by Tulsi- Bhay bin na preet Gosain (No love without fear) I am not in favor of spanking unnecessarily but we should have a strict control on our children. We failed to keep them under control and the result is for everyone to see. We cannot neglect their misbehavior saying "Children make mistake" they commit mistakes but then we are the ones responsible for their mistakes.

Well said. If children commit mistakes, parents must take charge and do the needful.

That is what parenting is all about, bring up responsible citizens , but spanking is never an option. A good heart to heart talk where you make them realise their mistakes is alwatys better.Most parents tend to think that children dont understand which is a mistake. They do understand when they are told and bear it in mind !

There is a couplet by Tulsi- Bhay bin na preet Gosain (No love without fear) I am not in favor of spanking unnecessarily but we should have a strict control on our children. We failed to keep them under control and the result is for everyone to see. We cannot neglect their misbehavior saying "Children make mistake" they commit mistakes but then we are the ones responsible for their mistakes.

Well said. If children commit mistakes, parents must take charge and do the needful.

That is what parenting is all about, bring up responsible citizens , but spanking is never an option. A good heart to heart talk where you make them realise their mistakes is alwatys better.Most parents tend to think that children dont understand which is a mistake. They do understand when they are told and bear it in mind !

Here is an article I read about how the old adage, "Spare the Rod Spoil the child" is no more applicable.
http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Visakhapatnam/spare-the-rod-save-the-child/article2984571.ece

Carrot and stick policy is the norm. It depends upon psychology of child and understanding of parents of their behavior.

The only policy that works when it comes to child upbringing is parents should spend time with the children as much as possible. It helps in knowing the child's innate traits. This knowledge helps the parents in putting the child in the right track in tune with the child's innate traits.