Single child – the single dream that parents see together. All their future lies in the smile of that single child. Nothing in the world is more precious than that single baby. Everything in home belongs to her only. My books, my television, my toys, my parents! She sees all things around her belonging to her only. Selfishness, lack of self confidence, less mingling with others, less smart, lack of self dependency – such strange characteristics of a single child may grow up along with her, her teens, her youth and often her married life and old age. Such kids may get blames from others for bad behaviour and selfishness. She makes self assessment about herself and begins to constrain in a world belonging she and her possessions only. ‘Self fulfilling prefacy’ – in psychological terms it’s known so. Is it possible to make such a kid smart? Yes, it’s possible through proper parenting.
First thing needed to change their characteristics is to allow them to mingle with kids of her age. Let her communicate freely and play with them. When she learns to find happiness through ‘give and take’ policy, she begins the primary lessons of social life, leaving the self-centered characteristics.
Things that she learn through plays
When her little fingers press computer keyboard and when she wins games one after another, parents feel happy and they will surely encourage her. ‘Excellent! You won!’ such words of appreciation encourage her a lot.
Such kids were forced to make only parents or a computer as friends. Such cyber buddies may be excellent in intelligent quotient (IQ) but they lack emotional quotient (EQ) a lot. An emotionless computer can never improve her life skills or social values. She never learns through communication and never gets opportunities to share happiness or sorrows with others.
When she plays with kids she fails and wins frequently and through such plays she learns the primary lessons of wins and losses of life. But when she plays with her parents, in love, parents may act ‘failed’ before them. Instead they should teach her both wins and losses, even if she is upset with her small failures in games. Otherwise she never withstands a loss or failure in her life.
But when she plays with kids of same age, she is able to see failures in sportsman spirit and accept them easily. Ask her to share her books and toys with others. By this way, she learns great lessons of sharing. Teach your kid that real happiness in life is through sharing and when we see our dear ones smiling. Slowly she will leave her selfish character. Parents should cultivate this culture in their kid at a younger age itself. Otherwise it’s very difficult to implement such principles in her life during teenage or youth.
Over expectations will kill her natural talents
A single kid in a family – it may be due to many reasons. It may be due to some physical problems or diseases of the parents, financial troubles of the family or due to the thought that a single kid is enough. When parents give up the idea of a second kid when they decide to bring up the first child well, they may be over-anxious and may keep over-expectations about their kid.
When such parents want to make their kid no.1 in all activities, she will get tired soon. She may feel anxious if she can’t meet her parents’ expectations and such thoughts may drag her down in performances. Such occasions give more mental pressure to both kids and parents and such kids may get depressed easily. Just listen to her heart and find, what she desires. Jack of all fruits is master of none. Similarly, a person can’t become proficient in all fields. Just identify one or two key areas and give nourishment according to it. Surely she will give wonderful results to make her parents feel proud.
Such kids may often exploit their parents’ love for satisfying their needs. To become a leader in front of guests and public places, she may behave badly or destroy things in a host’s home. Parents may neglect those things saying kid’s mischief. But gradually he/she may emotionally blackmail their parents.
Such kids should be controlled by parents. To bring discipline and good habits in their life, certain wise punishments can be taken. Switch of television or cartoon network if she disobeys you even after repeated advices. Neglect her if she wishes you in the morning. Such small punishments can bring changes in her.
Not enough courage to face life
When a young man approached physiologist saying, “I am not finding enough courage to learn driving”, physiologist was able to find its reason easily. He was a single kid to his parents who never allowed him even to ride a cycle at his younger age. He was followed by his parents everywhere even for simple things and thus he lost his self-confidence in doing things alone.
Single kids have little frustration tolerance – the ability to withstand and overcome failures. When an applicant is asked to fill the application form himself, if parents do it for him he will never learn even such simple things. Also it makes him feel them he is inefficient in doing even simple things; that’s why his parents help him always. Such kids may fail in interviews and group discussions even if they score high marks and ranks in exams.
When he gets less marks in exams, when he fails in a sport or if his teacher scolds him he becomes depressed suddenly. Such kids may even try to commit suicide for silly reasons. So, if a little care is taken while bringing up such single kids, it’s possible to make him smart with high emotional intelligence for sure. He will surely win big successes in life along with other people’s heart.