Every dad was once a Child. And every child is going to become a dad one day or other. Childhood is the best phase of human’s life. Its during this phase all our positive and negative traits are established. Its in this phase of life traits like Creativity, enthusiasm, perseverance, fertile imagination, confidence , self- reliance are seeded. It’s during these formative years, a child can be shaped into a form that’s envisaged by the parents.
There goes a saying that it’s during the tender stage a bough bends into any shape. Once the man reaches his next stage adulthood the same tender bough will become brittle and it can’t be bent as we wish. This reminds me a story of a teacher and his disciples.
A teacher took his students to a morning outing. When the group reached a vast expanse of land filled with exotic flora and fauna, the teacher asked one of the boys to bend a few branches of a few shrubs on the sideway. The boy obliged the teacher and bent the branches of the tender shrubs effortlessly. After a while, when the group reached another vast expanse of land, the teacher asked another boy to bend the branch of somewhat bigger sized plant than before. The boy bent the branch, but he had to exert more strength than the earlier plant.
After some more distance, the teacher stopped at a well grown up tree and asked another boy,” Can you bend that streong branch?”
The Boy said, “impossible sir.”
Then the teacher said, “Whatever good qualities you want to see in your child, inject them during the child’s formative years. As the child grows up it becomes harder and harder to inject good habits and good qualities in your child. As you have seen just now how easy it would be to bend and shape a sapling as you like when it is tender.
Famous poet William Wordsworth in his equally famous poem ‘The rainbow’ uses the expression. ‘The child is father of the man.’
At a glance it looks like a paradox. It sounds absurd. But the poet impresses on the readers that all our qualities, good and bad, Positive and negative qualities that are inherent in us will remain and show up during our life time.
It doesn’t mean the inherent good and bad qualities in a child will remain forever of their own accord. There is no guarantee that the good qualities will remain as good qualities and bad qualities will remain as bad qualities forever. A congenial atmosphere has to be created around the child in such a way that whatever good qualities are inherent are multiplied and bad qualities eliminated.
And now the big question is who will create that congenial atmosphere for the development of the child? Certainly it’s the responsibility of the parents. It’s on this belief that no learning institute is better than the home and no teachers are better than the parents.
Parents can inject the good qualities in two ways.
- By Teaching
- By being exemplary
Out of these two methods setting an example will be more effective. Teaching may not work all the time. Children in that tender age may not grasp the parent’s vocabulary or there is a risk of misunderstanding and or misinterpretation. I personally prefer the second method as there is no verbal interaction will be there with the child. Hence the child can easily understand.
Simultaneously the parents should keep a constant vigil on the child’ s activities. This vigil yields a plethora of clues about their likes and dislikes. Interests and aversions. With the help of these clues parents can make a plan to enhance the inner traits of the child.
The parents should be able to grasp the subtleties behind every action of the child and link with the qualities like Creativity, enthusiasm, perseverance, imagination, confidence , self- reliance and any other creative activity. Children are fickle minded. The interest they show on something at this moment may not be there the very next moment. But it doesn’t mean the child has lost interest on a particular thing once and for all. He may be back sooner than you think.
As the child grows up , parents should ensure that the good and positive qualities established during the formative phase of the child are retained all along the life of the child. For this it becomes necessary for the parents to exercise caution and patience to observe the interest patterns of the child.
Creativity
When you see your kid looking towards the chair, that is strategically placed and towards the Jar of Cookies placed on the dining table, think the toddler is thinking about a way to ascend the chair and reach the cookie jar. Remember, the child sees for the possibilities and bottlenecks at the same time. Such thinking constitute the Mainstay of creativity.
See the trait of creativity is cultivated to the maximum extent. Our job as parents and teachers is to see the potential in the kid is fully fulfilled.
Enthusiasm.
Apathy will not throw open the floodgates to fortune. It’s the enthusiasm that made Columbus find new continents. Enthusiasm is the only quality be it a child or a grown up that catapults you to find new opportunities.
Every child is endowed with the quality of enthusiasm. If the parents see an unusual enthusiasm towards anything, parents should know that the child is going to devote all its energies to achieve it or gain mastery over it.
The problem with enthusiasm in children is, they lose interest quickly and go on hopping from one interest to another. This is where the parents should see that the enthusiasm is not fizzled out.
Perseverance.
A child will not stop until it gets its things. See when the child reaches the age of getting up and trying to place its first footing forward, it falls down. But its determination to stand on its feet and move forward is so strong that it will not fear for a fall or an injury. Each time it falls down it gets up with renewed vigor and starts its efforts again and again relentlessly.
Albert Einstein once aptly said, "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
True. Running away from the adversities will not achieve you anything. Sticking to the problem despite adversities is perseverance. Parents should see that this trait is practiced by the child so that it remains for the whole life.
Imagination
Did you ever mark, children often enact a scene from the story that they heard in the class or from a story telling nanny? This is where the child’s imagination comes to the fore. Children often pretend a character in a story as if they are in the character which they think that they are the real character itself. This wild imagination plays an important part later in brain development.
Due to this reason children should be made to listen bed time stories. And the parents should ensure that their narration is very realistic and down to earth. This enables the child to use his brain in an imaginative way when he grows up.
Confidence .
Confidence on himself makes the child to perform any task in an easy way. Parents can help the child in developing the child’s confidence by giving him some small responsible jobs like getting a news paper from the news stand, just a few feet away from the home, Allowing his class stationery to get it from the stationery shop across the road
Self- reliance.
From the very earliest age, children show an inclination to imitate elders. They see their parents and try to emulate them in Toto. If in this process any effort to prevent the child will lead to tantrums from the child.
Hence it is advised to allow the child to do some simple jobs under the strict supervision of the parents. A child always finds pleasure in doing a job on its own without the help of the parents.. If a child shows keenness to eat on its own let it be so. If in this process the child spills the food parents should not feel as if the sky has fallen down. Allow the child to do, as it teaches the lessons of self reliance which stands in good stead when the child grows up.
A word of caution to the parents.
Involve in your child’s life. Be alert. Mark if the child uses any bad language and indulges in bad manners. Don’t forget the child has lot of avenues open to learn both good and bad from the environment he’s surrounded by.
Parents should act as filters.
Another evil that the so called Development brought into our lives is T.V. Ensure the TV time is rationed. The child should be exposed only to kid stuff. In the same lines net availability to the kid should be under the strict supervision of the kids.