Sarala stood leaning over the small rustic gate watching the retreating figure of her aunt as she walked down the road in the direction of the market and the shops. She remembered there was much to do in the kitchen since the tiffin-wala would be here any minute to take Anuj's lunch box. The thought of Anuj brought a smile to her lips ! As she began to make her way into the kitchen, outside the sky exploded into icy sheets of rain and she sincerely hoped that the weather was not an omen of the future days ! She went into the kitchen worrying whether her aunt had taken a parasole otherwie she would be drenched by the time she reached the market.

With a sigh Sarala went in and busied herself in the kitchen cutting tomatoes, cucumber and spreading butter on the bread slices. As she packed the sandwiches, an apple into the lunch box and filled water into Anuj’s water bottle her mind was busy with her own thoughts. Thoughts that made her feel depressed and would never go away even after so many years.

Hari and Sarala

Just then she heard the door bell . Subbanna the tiffinwala smiled at her and spoke about his own problems as he adjusted the bag on his cycle and took the lunch box from her . Thankfully the weather had cleared by now and there was bright sun shine filtering through the tree branches and creating a magic of its own.

Sarala again relived her past as she waited for her aunt . She sat there under the Mango tree thinking about Hari. Hari, who had come to their town on a bank transfer and took residence next to their house renting out a portion of their neighbor’s house. Her attraction for him was instant and he too was pleasant and cordial never overstepping his limits. 

In time with more interaction with him, she had begun to think of him as an oak in a forest of willows , comparing him to the other people around her. Of course, she had no way of knowing her future and how far off the mark and wrong her judgment was ! Hari was an accountant and wanted to start his own office which he had done after resigning his job at the private bank. On his request Sarala agreed to help him out by looking after his office as his secretary much against her aunt’s protests.

Sarala was an orphan having lost her parents when she was ten years old and her aunt Vimala Saliyan, her mother’s only sister  having remained unmarried had taken over the responsibility of looking after Sarala. She had brought her to her own place which was where they were living now and showered all her love and care on her and Sarala knew no other family or bond other than that of her aunt.

There were certain things that her aunt was particular about and it was difficult to make her see reason when certain issues arose between them and one of them was that of her going out to earn. Sarala had however stood firm this time and decided to help out Hari in his new venture. But her aunt had taken quite a different view of the situation. According to her Srala’s downfall had begun when she had agreed to work for Hari.

For some reason her aunt had never liked Hari although she never openly showed any resentment towards him.

‘ A nice well brought up girl like you should never do it – be a secretary to an unmarried man’ was her logic !

When Sarala had countered that saying ‘ But surely a girl can take up a post anywhere just the same way a man does’ – her aunt had grunted rolling up her eyes skywards. However, her aunt’s prophecy , for what it was worth had come true!

Past becomes Present

As days and months passed Sarala began to fall in love with Hari more deeply. Her aunt was the first one to notice the change in her,  being close to her all the time.

Her aunt had once remarked that she and Hari were ships that pass in the night. When she had looked at her aunt questioningly she had said that while the event happened there is a lot of excitement after which everything returns to normal and she had continued to say ‘ I am talking about the sea and the waves and their behavior dear !’

Sarala knew why she had said this, but what her aunt probably failed to see or perceive was that in her case it had been an interesting and breath taking event. Hari had had that kind of an impact on her. The only sad part was, she never ever was sure about Hari’s own feelings for her. The excitement and breathlessness was all from her side only! The more she had thought about it the more unsure she had become about showing any of her feelings to Hari because she never knew where she stood with him - what if he told her that she was just a friend to him ! And what exactly can one discuss with a person who had not made his feelings clear nor had any intention to so at least for now ? Can she even hope to discuss about her dreams that centered around him and even if she did, he might for she all she knew laugh or worse ignore and go on as if her words were not important. So, she had done nothing and kept her finer feelings to herself.

 At times the thought how things might have turned out had she been bold enough to speak to him, troubled her a lot. For all that Hari might have felt the same , but again why did he not say anything to her? Was it because of the uncompromising front she displayed in his presence, which was done by her to protect her and her own feelings more than anything else.

Disappointment

One fine day Hari told her that he would be going away , she will have to manage the office for a month on her own since he had some private matters that needed to be taken care of, not disclosing any details to her. She did feel bad because he had not confided in her, and there was something else that had been troubling her since some weeks.

She had seen Hari in the company of a lady carrying a child, when she had gone to the market with her aunt one weekend. Hari smiled at both her and her aunt and moved on and the lady with the child had looked at them with interest before hurrying after him. Sarala had felt hurt when he did not refer to the incident even the next day at the office and she too did not ask him who the lady was?

She had begun to realise that Hari had a side to him which he closely guarded but she was helpless. After a month Hari had still not come and there were mounting expenses since the rent had to be paid for the office space, the telephone bill , the electricity bill and she herself had not been paid for two months . When she tried to call him on his mobile phone she got the message that it was out of reach !

Heartache

It was quite by chance that she met the lady with the child who was with Hari at the market again in the same place. This time the lady recognised her and gave a friendly smile and Sarala decided to speak to her and ask about Hari. The lady was called Smitha and was Hari’s cousin sister staying in the same town since the time she had got married. She said that her husband was a lawyer practicing in the neighboring city, the district head quarters where the sessions court was situated. Smitha invited her home and Sarala liked her since she seemed very friendly . She asked Smitha about Hari and Smitha was surprised to hear that Sarala was not aware of his whereabouts. Apparently, Hari too lived in the neighboring town and had visited her just last week. She even told Sarala that he had been engaged to get married to a rich girl and was not planning to come back here.

To say that Sarala was shocked was an understatement. She somehow controlled herself and on reaching home broke down and wept her heart out..

Hari never came back and Sarala had to pay the office rent and clear the other bills. Inspite of all this, she felt that there was probably some reason why he did what he did but her aunt had a different opinion altogether.

Her aunt had told her that some people had a genius for falling in love with the wrong kind of men, hinting that she was one such person. According to her aunt, Sarala had reached a stage where she was drifting in and out with a blank expression indicative of blind love. No doubt it had hit her badly and she had never got over it!

Bleak future

Sarala had gone on because there was nothing else to do. Her aunt had been extremely understanding and caring towards Sarala during those initial weeks and months in spite of the occasional barbs that came out , probably more out of her own frustration and anger. In fact Vimala, her aunt had felt remorseful for not having stopped her falling into the pit , as she called the whole Hari episode !

Life moved on and one day rolled into another and Sarala came to terms with her tragedy and immersed herself by working at the local school helping them out in the office . Her aunt too encouraged her to do so. She and her aunt visited Smitha and came to know that Hari had married and his wife was expecting a child. Smitha had somehow perceived Sarala’s feelings and was very understanding. In fact both Smitha and her husband Anand became regular visitors at Sarala and her aunt’s place and by and by Sarala began to smile and savor life with the same vigor as she had done before she met Hari.

Re- entry

It was one of those afternoons that we sometimes encounter when one gets the feeling that something out of the ordinary was going to happen. In Sarala’s case it was Hari coming back into her life once again.

Smitha called her aunt that day and told her that Hari had differences with his wife and she had left him without taking the responsibility of the child, a son. Having no support from anyone including his brother, he had come to her house with the child. Sarala was torn in all directions and if she could she would have rushed to Smitha’s house to see Hari and his son. However, Hari himself came home in the evening with his little son who was barely 6 months old, a cute little bundle with wide black eyes. The baby looked at her and smiled and Sarala's heart gave a leap!

Sarala had never expected to see Hari again after he had left her 2 years ago yet in some queer way she had always felt that she was in touch with him because of the bond that had developed between them. But she was never sure whether the feeling was mutual and after his marriage she had pushed all these thoughts away from her mind. But now after seeing Hari and her son , she felt hopeful again but cautiously so!

Hari looked lost and forlorn and hardly spoke to anyone. But his son Anuj was a joy and a delight bringing out all her maternal feelings and Sarala slowly took over the responsibility of looking after the child bringing him home and catering to his needs.

One day, Hari came to her and told her that he had to go again to his town to settle his divorce proceedings and would she take care of the child since it was impossible for him to do so. Although Sarala would have agreed happily , her aunt put her foot down and told her not to take the responsibility since one can never predict the future especially after knowing how unpredictable Hari was !

The problem was solved by Smitha and her husband by making a suggestion that Hari should give in writing making Sarala the guardian of Anuj and that she would have the right to decide what was good for him on his behalf until he came of age. If he was not prepared to do so, he should take Anuj back with him.  Although Sarala felt this was unfair on Hari, her aunt was all for it. An agreement was drawn up in due course , signed by Hari and a copy was given to Sarala for safe keeping.

Some things never change

That was seven years ago and Hari had done the disappearing act again , never coming back after he left to take care of his divorce proceedings. Sarala was understandably desolate since she had hoped that Anuj would bring the two of them together, but Hari seemed to think otherwise. All that he wanted was a nanny for the child and he had got one willingly , free of cost !

Sarala came out of her reverie and as she looked up she could see her aunt at a distance speaking to someone. She collected the dry clothes and was about go into the house when she saw Anuj come through the gate and behind him came Hari. Sarala was so overcome that she could neither speak nor move.

Hari called out to Anuj ‘ Hello how are you my son? ‘ Anuj looked at him strangely and looked back giving a questioning look to Sarala. Sarala was about to tell him that Hari was indeed his father, when she saw her aunt come in and give her a warning look.

Vimala looked at Hari and said ‘ Why don’t you come inside , we can talk there ‘. Hari came in and sat fidgeting about and when Sarla offered to make some tea he declined showing his displeasure and irritation . Sarala felt this was because of Anuj’s indifferent reaction to him. She wanted to say some soothing words to him but at that time her aunt came in and put an end to all niceties .

Vimala, as was her nature came straight to the point ! ‘ How many years has it been Hari? Seven years or longer ? What have you been up to all these years ? and more importantly did you ever think of Anuj?'  'Sarala could see that Hari was fumbling with words , not knowing what to say while her aunt watched him with combined feelings of amusement and anger.

Now she said  ‘I heard that you had got married again, is that right Hari ?’

Sarala was shell shocked at this new revelation and looked at her aunt and Hari for confirmation. Hari looked away but her aunty looked at Sarala with sympathetic eyes and told her ‘ I met Smitha in the market just now and she told me about it. In fact she too has just come to know about it obviously from Hari’.

She turned to Hari ...‘You are a dark horse aren’t you Hari ?’

By now Hari had recovered sufficiently and looked determined enough to come clean and make his point...’ Yes I am married to a very nice girl who I met in my office. I could not tell anyone because there were some difficulties from my wife’s family that forced us to get married quietly.’

‘I see !’ said her aunt ‘have you brought your wife with you ?’

‘No, I have not ! I have come here for two days only to take back Anuj with me ‘

‘What did you say ?’ her aunt all but screamed at him and Sarala was frozen !

People don't change

Srala had become numb, unable to react and all that she could do was listen to the heated exchange that took place between her aunt and Hari as he justified his own plan of action and her aunt telling him how selfish and ungrateful he was and so on ! Sarala tried to pretend this was not happening !

Somewhere inside her she had kept her hopes alive , that Hari would come back and accept her and they – Hari, Herself and Anuj would become a happy family ! As she watched Hari and her aunt arguing she could see every hope of her being dashed to the ground and all she could do was wonder how she could have been so stupid ? It was clear that Hari had never cared for her ever !

She heard Hari speaking to her aunt about his wife apparently called Sunita ! He was telling that Sunita had some problems and could not have a child and since Anuj needed a home, he had decided to take him away with him.

He was saying that it was only fair that he take Anuj to his house since his wife was longing for a child and he himself was keen on fulfilling her wishes. And went on to say ‘ Of course I am grateful to Sarala and you for having looked after him all these years. I also know that this has come as a shock to you both, let it sink in and I will come tomorrow to take Anuj with me ‘

With this he walked out of the house leaving behind two extremely sad and shocked ladies. Sarala looked at his retreating back with tears in her eyes and began to sob uncontrollably.

Her aunt was at once besides her holding her and consoling her even as she struggled to make sense of all that had happened and the future course of action that needed to be taken.

‘Mamma where are you ?’ that was Anuj calling out to her. He had always called her mamma and as far as he was concerned she was his mother and father too. How will he cope with the future if Hari took him away with him ? Anuj ran up to her and asked “ Why is that man who went out just now telling me that I have to go with him ? I am not going with him anywhere and I don’t like him “

Vimala at this juncture took over and brought Anuj into the room , consoling him and asking him to wash up and do his home work and not to worry about that man. Once Anuj had settled down Sarala's aunt came and sat by her side trying to find the exact words to say....’ Sarala, I had always known Hari to be a very selfish, cold and calculative person, not at all suitable for you but you never wanted to listen to my reasoning. However, let is put the past firmly behind us and concentrate on the present. Now what are we going to do about Anuj?’

The Present and the future

 Sarala was lost unable to decide and most importantly unsure as to what course of action to take . Hari had a right over his son but seven years ago, when he had pleaded with her to look after his child because his wife had left him, he had told her that Anuj was her's and her's alone. Now he seems to have forgotten or deliberately pretending as if that was of no consequence.

She was overcome by the fact that he seems to have not a care for her feelings and without any sympathy was planning to strike at her very existence knowing full well that Anuj was everything to her. Tears rolled down her eyes, even as she could feel her whole being burn with hatred for Hari and the manner in which he had dealt her blows again and again although she had only to blame herself to a large extent .

Her aunt watched her and with a firm voice told her not to waste time on self pity but to concentrate on practical matters. She advised Sarala to rest and think matters over putting Anuj’s and her interests first and foremost !

Being firm pays

Next morning Sarala was as unsure as the previous night. But something else happened which was to change the entire course of life for all of them . Soon after Anuj had left for school, Smitha and her lawyer husband Anand visited their home and wanted to speak about the matter in detail. Hari, they told was not staying with them but was staying in a hotel and they wanted to speak to Sarala and her aunt before he visited them. Sarala told them about the entire matter and how Hari had wanted to take away Anuj with him.

 But Smitha and Ananad had plenty to say about Hari and the reason for his sudden change of heart towards Anuj , who he had conveniently forgotten all these years . Apparently, Anuj’s mother had died last month of cancer and since she was a rich woman had left all her belonginging including expensive jewlry , house and a vast sum of money in her son’s name. Hari now wanted to get hold of this wealth through Anuj. Smitha felt that a person as selfish as Hari might even bring back Anuj to Sarala once he gets his hand on the wealth like he had done before.

Anand in fact was planning to go to Anuj’s mother’s place and get all the legal details. He told Sarala to ask Hari to wait for a month since Anuj was at school and it was not advisable to leave mid way.

 When Sarala herad this she realsied how despicable a person Hari was and to what levels he was willing to stoop just to fulfill his greed. Her aunt gave her a knowing look! Smitha and Anand hurried away since they did not want Hari to know that they had been there and in probability might have passed on the information about the legacy left to him.

Hari as expected came within a few minutes and was told by both Sarala and her aunt that he can take Anuj only after the school closed for vacation. Hari did not look very happy with this but he had no other go. However, he remained very pleasant asking about Anuj and his various activities and even becoming tearful a couple of times as he listened to his sons details.

Just before leaving he turned casually to Sarala ‘ By the way I have a small request to make, can you fulfill it ?’

This took Sarala totally by surprise ‘ well, what is it ? ‘

‘ I have some forms which will help me settle Anuj better in my city for which I require your signature and also the original document that I had signed when I had handed over Anuj to you, since now they will be useless to you ‘

Sarala was dumbfolded at his audacity and asked him to bring the documents , so that she could see for herself  and then decide , also regarding the issue of his own agreement signed by him giving her all rights as a guardian. Hari left reluctantly and Sarala immediately called Anand and told him about Hari’s demands, rather requests as he had termed it.

Anand advised her to collect the forms and not sign anything unless he had gone through the details and to delay the process since he was going away for 3 days to get more details about Anuj’s legacy.

Hari was promptly back in the evening and handed over the documents and a pen for her to sign. Sarala was amused at his manner, his greed and selfishness so transparent in every move of his ! She looked at him and told him that she needed time to look through the papers before she signed them.

She could see that Hari was angry at this ‘ why do you need time, I am simply asking you to sign those papers so that you will be rid of my son's responsibilities and I can take over from there ‘..

Sarala’s aunt intervened at this juncture ‘ Hari, don’t force her to do anything against her wishes. I have advised her to consult a lawyer for her own good , don’t you think that is the right thing to do so that there is no complication at a later date ? ‘

One could see that Hari was feeling frustrated and did not want to leave those papers with Sarala at any cost...he went on  'Sarala, there are a few corrections to be made in the document, please hand it over to me, I will bring it back once it is done’

Sarala handed it over and Hari hurried away. Aunt looked at Sarala and both burst out laughing since the entire episode was funny and they both realised once again how cunning and selfish Hari was . The document must have contained words and sentences that would have made sure that Sarala had absolutely no rights over Anuj as a guardian, so that he could easily take over the legacy and say goodbye to his son forever.

The End

Most greedy and selfish people are also basically cowards by nature because their conscience is never clear and that’s what happened with Hari. Anand came back with a copy of the will left by Anujs mother where she had clearly stated that she had come to know that Anuj was being looked after by Sarala and she wished and trusted Sarala to look after Hari’s legacy until he came of age.

Things became clear to everyone why Hari had come and what exactly he was planning to do with regard to the will by getting Sarala to sign a document where she absolved all her responsibilities and made Hari the guardian.

As expected , once exposed Hari was never seen again in their part of the world. Sarala would often think about all that happened in the past.

Her aunt had the last word when she told Sarala ‘ When our time comes, I should be sorry if the only plea I had to offer was greed and selfishness , because it might mean that only greed and selfishness might be meted out to me ‘

Sarala looked confused ....

Her aunt laughed ‘don’t be so confused my dear Sarala , I am not talking about myself but about Hari and the fate waiting for him when finally his time comes ‘

( images - wikimedia images)