“I do not want to move house this is very bad for a person with AD very disorienting and can cause serious deforiation in the person affected, by moving them from an environment they are familiar and comfortable with. I want to paint, walk the dog, go for drives etc. I also want to go to YP with AD meetings at Lincoln once in a month (get details) and day care centres. I would in the later stages want to be in a specialised unit or Hospice……..”. When Steve Boryszczuk read these lines from a diary he got from a heap of old things, he couldn’t control his tears. He identified the hand writing without much difficulty and read it again and again. A face just flashed through his mind – Michell, his beloved wife! She was then living in a care centre far away from him. She is an Alzheimer patient, in the worst stage. His mind filled with guilty for not caring her in a proper way and for the worst decision to send her to a nursing home.
Now, people all over the world are reading her writings filled with tears in their eyes and now it’s considered to be one of the best written diary works like Anne Frank’s Diary. She is the youngest Alzheimer patient of Britain and the disease completely defeated her at 38. Now she is 43. Her case has broken the myth that this disease will attack only persons above 50 or 60. She started writing a secret diary at the age of 30 when she was identified with its symptoms. There is nothing written in the diary about complaining or blaming the fate. No tear filling words also. Instead, she wrote about things which she wanted to remember everyday and daily routines needed to keep her work as a house wife going on. It also include birthdays of her family members and relatives, names of her acquaints and even small things around her in each corner of her own home. It also includes manners and matured comforting words for herself. She even didn’t forget to write farewell words for her husband, who was along with her from a younger age of 16. She also kept a word of her desires – how she should be treated at the last stages and how her husband and kids should take care of her. Steve couldn’t control his tears as these diary notes came to his notice only after 10 years, she has started writing.
Repenting over his act, this 47 year old husband is now spending his full time along with his wife, taking care of her. He knows well, she won’t stay long. Now, their children 26 year old Richard and 24 year old Graham also stay with her. As a general awareness program, for those persons who neglect the possibility of Alzheimer during early stages, Steve decided to publish it.
Her family life
Steve-Mishelle couple has been living in a small village Lincolnshere for years. Steve was a driver of nearby fish factory and Mishelle, secretary of Axiom Housing of Rasan market. She was interested in dramas and drawing and was an actress of Broadband drama company, Lincolnshere. “It was a love marriage and we have been a lovely couple who always tried to stay together and do holiday trips very often. When we grow old and get our grand children, it was my desire to tell about our first meeting to them”, Steve says.
Mishelle’s father Antony Wrestling died at an age of 46, suffering from same disease. So, she also had a strange feeling that she will meet the same destiny today or tomorrow. But, instead of weeping and blaming full time, she decided to fight alone smiling always. When she came to know that genetic traits of Alzheimer are found in her body, she was just 30. From that day onwards, she began to note everything she needed in a diary. Yet, she kept it away from everyone’s eyes and later, she even forgot to give it to her dear ones. In the year 2008, the disease began to swallow her rapidly. Forgetting simple tasks like purchasing items at a grocery shop and ride through daily routes were just its beginning. One day, she couldn’t return home when she went out with her pet dog. After that, she began to stay at home itself. She began to feel that her mind may drift into that unknown world of lost memory anytime without any intimation. But she couldn’t give that diary to her husband. Truth is that, she forgot to give because of her strange disease.
Good bye to home
After she was detected Alzheimer in 2011, she stayed at her home for 3 years. In 2011, she was shifted to nearby nursing home where, similar patients are treated. Steve got her notes early this year. “I got this diary while I was searching for something else. I couldn’t control my tears reading it. For 8 years, she was waiting for this disaster without informing anyone of us. She hid her sorrows to herself without sharing. I have seen her writing something. But I never paid attention to it. The feeling that we have been living together for the past 8 years without knowing her problems is hurting me a lot. She desired to live in this home during her last days and her notes include her suggestions for we people to follow. I felt guilty. That’s why I resigned my job to take care of her”, Steve says.
Now, Steve spends 12 hours with her daily. Michell can’t identify anything, even her husband and kids. She has lost her speech too. “Now, she identifies my presence. Her eyes shine while I read that diary. We are strictly following her notes now. Now also I feel guilty to shift her home. But that time, no alternative was there in front of my eyes”, Steve says. Kids are also visiting her once in a week and both have decided to undergo tests to find if they also carry the same genetic traits.
Crossing the big wall of love
“It’s the good bye that completes the communication.
I loved you
I hated you
I was very proud of you
I was very ashamed of you
Thank you for the sacrifices you made for me
I appreciated the time you spend with me”
Her diary notes end with this quote. It’s the good bye words that she kept for her husband. She even mentioned to celebrate her death than mourning. Steve knows well, he can’t do anything to bring her back. Yet he feels, he can do something for similar persons whose minds are suffering in a lonely unknown world. As a general awareness program, he has published her notes as a book. Also, he forwards his helping hand for researches related to this strange disease. Now he works for Alzheimer’s disease International (ADI) and to collect an amount for this purpose, planning a walk through the regions of Great Wall of China. It will be conducted from October 5 to 16 and his brother Stanley will also assist him.