We can define individuality in a person as the sum total of all his inner traits. They include his physical, mental and emotional qualities. If one loses his temper often, we refer him as ‘a hot tempered man. ’This is a part of his individuality. Similarly, we see a person is known by his most predominant inner trait. This forms the core of his individuality.
What are the factors that decide a person’s individuality?
A person’s individuality will be influenced mostly by three factors. Childhood experiences, environment and heredity.Deficiencies in a parson like hot temperament, timidity and many such qualities are difficult to correct. But with proper efforts one can correct.
Why a right individuality is necessary?
All of us have some aims and objectives and we strive to achieve them during all our life. In this process, one has to face difficulties. One has to face hindrances and pitfalls on the way. He has to deal with different persons of different qualities. In order to shoot ahead towards his cherished goals, setting aside all the hurdles and road blocks, he needs a strong individuality.
An individuality that enables him to deal effectively and to make his way smooth to his cherished goals.
Now let’s see what if the individual has a weak individuality.
He exhibits in every phase of his life an attitude of “Compromise.” If the other person is someone who is either stronger or a person who does favours, person with weak individuality will exhibit an attitude of servility. On the other hand if the other person is weaker and a useless person who cannot shower any favours, he will show domination in different forms.
Its to be remembered that a butterfly that exhibits its own colours is more recognized and loved than a chameleon that often changes its colours. The process of shaping of one’s individuality involves a metamorphosis. This is a well familiar one. It starts from egg, to caterpillar to butterfly stages. The same metamorphosis can be seen in an individual’s life.
When the metamorphosis starts?
When an individual questions himself, “What’s my role in this world? “, the process of metamorphosis starts.
Consider these following two examples.
An individual who is satisfied when he gets a government job, his individuality shapes up within that periphery. Security in the job, welfare of his family, a good salary, and the perks, income from outer sources, official tours and above all non accountability will take a prominent place. In this context, there is no scope for learning about other factors like establishing healthy human relations, new challenges and the thoughts about overcoming when a challenge is confronted. Such people in the event of a life challenging situation get caught unawares and becomes helpless. They lack the ability to solve the problem.
Let’s see another individual who loves to face any unexpected challenge. He aims at creating his own and unique individuality. This individual cultivates an individuality altogether different from the individual in the first example. His characteristic which is unique is to give more importance to the work he does than himself. Because of the uncertainties in life, he behaves with others in a special way.
He may look arrogant and careless at a glance. But he will be alert always to face any eventuality. The trait of equipping himself with all the necessary weapons to face the challenges thrown by the road blocks, pit falls and hindrances that come on the way to his cherished life will become a part of his individuality.
In the above two examples, it’s the second kind of individual who amasses all his inner strengths and utilizes them to his fullest advantage Whenever you come across with such people. Observe them keenly. You cannot miss their characteristics in their diverse individualities.
Be Original
An individual who aspires to mould himself in to a shape of his dreams, will start his preparation right in the metamorphosis period mentioned above.
The ultimate truth is, “You will be what you will to be.”
If you imitate a successful individual, you will remain as a poor duplicate.
It’s not bad to have a role model. It’s also not bad to get inspired by successful people. But imitating in toto a successful individual will leave a stamp on you as, “A duplicate of so and so.”When it comes to individuality, it is essential to be original.
This is what makes a person ‘ an individual with a unique individuality of his own.”
Characteristics of an individual sans individuality.
An individual sans his own individuality will be always be on the lookout for an excuse to cover his failures and other deficiencies.
Ask a person. “Why you have neglected your parents?” He will reply, “so are many. Am I the only one who neglected parents?”
They support their stance with such meaningless and lame excuses.
This trait is a shining example of “escapism”, a predominant quality in an individual who lacks his own individuality.
Another prominent trait in persons sans individuality is the wrong impression of imitating the external features of a successful person. Ilaya raja the music maestro wears a white coloured pyjama and a kurta. People who lack individuality think that by wearing the robes of Ilaya raja, they can be as successful as him. One of my friend bought a cricket bat autographed by Tendulkar. And from that day on, started thinking he has become as great as Tendulkar, the icon of Indian cricket.
Imitation can never be individuality. Working with your own inner strength, reaching your cherished goals and developing your own individuality will make you unique. This achievement will impart immense strength to face any adversity with ease and elan.
The historical fact that a man known as Mohandas karamchand Gandhi wearing a simple dhoti and angavastram went all the way to London to the Round table conference as a representative of India has been accepted by all. Where from he got that strength and courage ? The answer is his own individuality.
Individuals who strive to build up their own individuality will not care for the hardships they encounter in the process of building their individuality. They think that the hardships they undergo are the part of the exercise for building individuality.
It doesn't mean that one should not learn from others.
By all means one should learn good things from anybody at any time. Mahatma Gandhi on many occasions said that he learned many things from books and great people. But all the knowledge he gathered from books and great people have become a part of his individuality, But never robbed his individuality.
It’s true we come across with people who try to dictate our individuality. Wisdom lies in setting them aside and continue going ahead.
Dialogues like. “I had many ideals. I thought of spreading love all over. But the people in the society and the prevailing conditions did not allow me to do so. Which is why I hate all. I don’t have faith nor belief on anybody” , maybe liked and applauded in reel life. But not in real life. Such speeches are the mental reflections of people who lack individuality. This is nothing but escapism. If such people face an adversity, they will come up with the stock dialogue, “it’s nothing but the evil designs of my adversaries."
The factors that shape one’s individuality.
You should have a clear idea at the very outset about, what you want to become. What’s your aim of the life. An unclear mind will not take you anywhere.
Anything from any individual can be learnt. But you should be careful to check if there is any factor in them that distracts you and drifts you away from your target.
Live your life. Your own life is your foundation from where you can start building your individuality. Never yield to the trap of cheap imitation.
Try to cultivate a life where there is no scope for emotional turbidity. Simply put, be away from anger, jealousy, vengeance and destructive criticism.
Be pragmatic in your thoughts.
Practice equanimity. Don’t be ecstatic on a victory or dejected on a failure.
Don’t give a place for disappointment. And never give up hope, Mind your business without hoping for returns. If your intention is good and your efforts are genuine, victory comes and falls in your lap.
Take responsibility without craving for leadership. Know that a man’s worth is realized by what he does. Not by his position. Simply put one can render service from any position.
“You are the question and you are the answer “should be your mantra.
Two great examples worth studying.
Abraham Lincoln, who faced failures and disappointments more than anybody else, never compromised with anything that posed as potential hazard to his much valued individuality. He cultivated the habit of using his discrimination when to yield to a suggestion and when not to yield to suggestion.
A small kid of six years, seeing Lincoln’s hollowed cheeks suggested him to grow a beard in order to cover his hollowed cheeks. Abraham Lincoln readily yielded to her suggestion and grown a beard that he maintained all along his life.The same Lincoln, when he was warned to stop responding to freedom to Blacks, never cared to listen. Lincoln responded like a human being to the suggestion of the kid. But he refused to respond to the warnings that hindered justice to a particular section of the society. Abraham Lincoln hated to depart from the norms that held his individuality.
Another example. We generally do the things keeping the other’s reactions. While we do a job. We will be closely watching how others react. These thoughts generally dictate our way of working.
But this woman is different. She does whatever she likes to do without bothering to know other’s reactions. She wears whatever she has. She will not hesitate to wear even a torn dress to attend a party in White house. It’s not all. She gathers all the leftovers and wasted food in a bag to distribute the food to destitute orphans in the street. When she boards a plane, she requests the air hostess not to throw away the leftovers. What could be a better example than this that exemplifies her lofty attitude?
Now you can understand that it’s their high standards of individuality that created a place for them in the pages of history.