I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Steven wright

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692 There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
667 My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
723 Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
718 Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
757 Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

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