An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

Will Rogers

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1025 Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
1047 See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
1030 For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
1022 I bet you if I had met him [Trotsky] and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
1005 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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