Anger management- causes and ways to deal

'To every stimuli there is an equal reaction', I have read in physics and there is a similar concept in biology that our body and mind response when it receives some kind of stimuli. Similarly, if we are in a situation then we react in our own ways. But we, humans, have been gifted with intelligence as well as the instinctive ability to response like animals do like escaping when in state of danger and fear. As human beings, we can choose how we will react in any particular situation. It is our choice to display anger or to let go of it and stay calm and peaceful in those moments when we are thrown into situation that we don't desire to be in.

There is a concept in managerial skills, 'Emotional Intelligence', it is controlling one's emotion and responding wisely after thinking what would be the consequences of the way I respond. Anger can be controlled and managed by thinking about the consequences of displaying it. We should think about, will getting angry benefit me or anyone near me? or will it be the cause of further sadness and anxiety than it already is or not? or is it really necessary to be angry now or there is a better way of conveying myself? After thinking through these questions, we might reduce the frequency of feeling angry or displaying anger.

There many ways to control anger, for example, yoga, meditation, work out and laughing for ten minutes on a regular basis. These methods will reduce stress and anxiety and bring happiness into our lives. A happy person is less prone to being angry than a stressed person.

Our Generation people are lazy and everything is readily available to them because of the hard work of the previous generation.

Our parents understand the value of money, hardwork, friendship,relations unlike us. Our generation was seldom disciplined , seldom travel long distances, seldom know the value, why? because it is readily available to us! 

Such is the way we get angry easily. We can hardly see anyone from the previous generation getting angry and a slight provocation gets us angry!

We are an impatient lot. We not everything done in shortest possible time and exactly the way we want. This is what we expect from people around us. When this expectation is not we loose our temper. 

Its important to manage our temper because a relation once broken is very difficult to recover. The best thing do to according to me when one losses his/her cool is to immediately isolate ones self (limiting the damage to people n objects). Give ourselves time to cool down.

But again i agree that this is much easier to say than do. (personal experience :P)

The present generation is certainly an angry lot. We get provoked very easily. Anger need not always be bad. In certain cases its necessary to be angry. However getting angry for every slight reasons ll only harm the society.

As to how to manage it, from my personal experience I can say that if we learn not to pay too much attention to petty matters, we ll learn to be more peaceful. Also we should learn to accept others shortcomings or the differences we may ve, but most important take a moment to think whether showing our anger ll be beneficial or not?

jabeen wrote:

The present generation is certainly an angry lot. We get provoked very easily. Anger need not always be bad. In certain cases its necessary to be angry. However getting angry for every slight reasons ll only harm the society.

As to how to manage it, from my personal experience I can say that if we learn not to pay too much attention to petty matters, we ll learn to be more peaceful. Also we should learn to accept others shortcomings or the differences we may ve, but most important take a moment to think whether showing our anger ll be beneficial or not?

anger should be avoided by all means. Otherwise, you will be affected by a host of life threatening ailments, In this regard, I recommend Yoga and physical exercise will help you a lot.

There are several Yoga asanas, that help you in controlling your anger. If you can combine with a 15 minute morning walk in the morning or evening.

Here are a few yoga asanas for your reference

http://communitytable.parade.com/149706/bethshaw/5-yoga-and-breathing-tips-to-conquer-anger-issues/

 

Divya wrote:

We are an impatient lot. We not everything done in shortest possible time and exactly the way we want. This is what we expect from people around us. When this expectation is not we loose our temper. 

Its important to manage our temper because a relation once broken is very difficult to recover. The best thing do to according to me when one losses his/her cool is to immediately isolate ones self (limiting the damage to people n objects). Give ourselves time to cool down.

But again i agree that this is much easier to say than do. (personal experience :P)

I totally agree with that. Patience and modesty, the age old human virtues  have given their way to impatience, barging and indecency. 

Divya wrote:

We are an impatient lot. We not everything done in shortest possible time and exactly the way we want. This is what we expect from people around us. When this expectation is not we loose our temper. 

Its important to manage our temper because a relation once broken is very difficult to recover. The best thing do to according to me when one losses his/her cool is to immediately isolate ones self (limiting the damage to people n objects). Give ourselves time to cool down.

But again i agree that this is much easier to say than do. (personal experience :P)

I totally agree with that. Patience and modesty, the age old human virtues  have given their way to impatience, barging and indecency. 

Vishakha Purohit wrote:

'To every stimuli there is an equal reaction', I have read in physics and there is a similar concept in biology that our body and mind response when it receives some kind of stimuli. Similarly, if we are in a situation then we react in our own ways. But we, humans, have been gifted with intelligence as well as the instinctive ability to response like animals do like escaping when in state of danger and fear. As human beings, we can choose how we will react in any particular situation. It is our choice to display anger or to let go of it and stay calm and peaceful in those moments when we are thrown into situation that we don't desire to be in.

There is a concept in managerial skills, 'Emotional Intelligence', it is controlling one's emotion and responding wisely after thinking what would be the consequences of the way I respond. Anger can be controlled and managed by thinking about the consequences of displaying it. We should think about, will getting angry benefit me or anyone near me? or will it be the cause of further sadness and anxiety than it already is or not? or is it really necessary to be angry now or there is a better way of conveying myself? After thinking through these questions, we might reduce the frequency of feeling angry or displaying anger.

 

There many ways to control anger, for example, yoga, meditation, work out and laughing for ten minutes on a regular basis. These methods will reduce stress and anxiety and bring happiness into our lives. A happy person is less prone to being angry than a stressed person.

Well explained, it is my views that one person in anger can't think. Best way to control anger is quit place where are you and have some deep breath or drink glass of water.

anil wrote:

Vishakha Purohit wrote:

'To every stimuli there is an equal reaction', I have read in physics and there is a similar concept in biology that our body and mind response when it receives some kind of stimuli. Similarly, if we are in a situation then we react in our own ways. But we, humans, have been gifted with intelligence as well as the instinctive ability to response like animals do like escaping when in state of danger and fear. As human beings, we can choose how we will react in any particular situation. It is our choice to display anger or to let go of it and stay calm and peaceful in those moments when we are thrown into situation that we don't desire to be in.

There is a concept in managerial skills, 'Emotional Intelligence', it is controlling one's emotion and responding wisely after thinking what would be the consequences of the way I respond. Anger can be controlled and managed by thinking about the consequences of displaying it. We should think about, will getting angry benefit me or anyone near me? or will it be the cause of further sadness and anxiety than it already is or not? or is it really necessary to be angry now or there is a better way of conveying myself? After thinking through these questions, we might reduce the frequency of feeling angry or displaying anger.

There many ways to control anger, for example, yoga, meditation, work out and laughing for ten minutes on a regular basis. These methods will reduce stress and anxiety and bring happiness into our lives. A happy person is less prone to being angry than a stressed person.

Well explained, it is my views that one person in anger can't think. Best way to control anger is quit place where are you and have some deep breath or drink glass of water.

Yoga can help

Anger is an emotion. Sometimes an outburst of your physical and mental ailments. But many a types, it also becomes a habit as you consciously not try to control it or introspect about it.

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

rambabu wrote:

anil wrote:

Vishakha Purohit wrote:

'To every stimuli there is an equal reaction', I have read in physics and there is a similar concept in biology that our body and mind response when it receives some kind of stimuli. Similarly, if we are in a situation then we react in our own ways. But we, humans, have been gifted with intelligence as well as the instinctive ability to response like animals do like escaping when in state of danger and fear. As human beings, we can choose how we will react in any particular situation. It is our choice to display anger or to let go of it and stay calm and peaceful in those moments when we are thrown into situation that we don't desire to be in.

There is a concept in managerial skills, 'Emotional Intelligence', it is controlling one's emotion and responding wisely after thinking what would be the consequences of the way I respond. Anger can be controlled and managed by thinking about the consequences of displaying it. We should think about, will getting angry benefit me or anyone near me? or will it be the cause of further sadness and anxiety than it already is or not? or is it really necessary to be angry now or there is a better way of conveying myself? After thinking through these questions, we might reduce the frequency of feeling angry or displaying anger.

There many ways to control anger, for example, yoga, meditation, work out and laughing for ten minutes on a regular basis. These methods will reduce stress and anxiety and bring happiness into our lives. A happy person is less prone to being angry than a stressed person.

Well explained, it is my views that one person in anger can't think. Best way to control anger is quit place where are you and have some deep breath or drink glass of water.

Yoga can help

No doubt Yoga is helpful to control anger. But we human being. It is not possible to remain calm. So when anger came quit the place and drink glass of water and have some deep breath. If with all these some one not feel calm and peace, stand in front of wall and shout out what they want.

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

We all know, what is anger. and its consequences. in one way anger is completely a normal, usually healthy emotion

Simple relaxation tools like deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm down angry feelings. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm . Picture your breath coming from your gut.Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as " Relax", " , " Take it " easy". Repeat them while breathing deeply. Visualize a relaxing experience either from your memory or your imagination. Non strenuous, slow Yoga - like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. This must be practiced daily . Learn to use them automatically when you are in a tense situation.

jabeen wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

Are we talking about anger here.. Because I have a strong feeling anger kills everything - the thoughtful plan, your efficiency to execute because it diminishes the feel good hormones and the strategic abilities. I think you are talking about enthusiasm, intolerance to  evil practices, pro activeness, aggression at work.... those all are needed for progressive nation.

Arunima Singh wrote:

jabeen wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

Are we talking about anger here.. Because I have a strong feeling anger kills everything - the thoughtful plan, your efficiency to execute because it diminishes the feel good hormones and the strategic abilities. I think you are talking about enthusiasm, intolerance to  evil practices, pro activeness, aggression at work.... those all are needed for progressive nation.

Since I am not good at English I am not sure what would be right word if not anger. But I certainly do not feel enthusiastic when I come across corruption of any form, or employees shrinking away frm their duties or harassing others by adopting delaying tactics etc. At such moments I do feel angry. Though its another matter that I control my anger and take steps to prevent such injustices where ever i can act

jabeen wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

I agree with that ..anger is not all negative. Unless we are discontented and unhappy which ultimately results in anger , things may continue to remain the same. In the case I spoke about, I feel the man is so brow beaten and helpless that anger is something he cannot afford to feel. He and his family is barely managing to survive and they only know how to gulp down anger and everything else too that is not right !

usha manohar wrote:

jabeen wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

I agree with that ..anger is not all negative. Unless we are discontented and unhappy which ultimately results in anger , things may continue to remain the same. In the case I spoke about, I feel the man is so brow beaten and helpless that anger is something he cannot afford to feel. He and his family is barely managing to survive and they only know how to gulp down anger and everything else too that is not right !

Anger is like other emotion. It is not good for our health if we keep it upto ourself.

jabeen wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

jabeen wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Most old timers wold say that you should count ten before reacting when you are angry or stressed at something, which is such a wise advise. We tend to act emotionally, rashly and impulsively when we are angry which often we regret later. It is easy to advise others but when it comes to your own self , it becomes difficult to go by the book. However,there are many people who have a great deal of self control even when they are facing the most difficult and stressful times..Recently I came across a villagers close to here who had come to repay his interest on loan at a bank. On speaking to him and hearing his difficulties , I was angry at the system in our state which has absolutely no compassion for poorer section of the people but pay  for things like renovation and new furniture and spend crores of rupees on ministers ..But the poor fellow was beyond feeling anything after all the suffering for years..

If everybody starts practising self control like him, the nation ll simply rot. There ll be no progress. That's why I say that sometimes it is necessary to be angry & let others know that certain things are not acceptable. 

Are we talking about anger here.. Because I have a strong feeling anger kills everything - the thoughtful plan, your efficiency to execute because it diminishes the feel good hormones and the strategic abilities. I think you are talking about enthusiasm, intolerance to  evil practices, pro activeness, aggression at work.... those all are needed for progressive nation.

Since I am not good at English I am not sure what would be right word if not anger. But I certainly do not feel enthusiastic when I come across corruption of any form, or employees shrinking away frm their duties or harassing others by adopting delaying tactics etc. At such moments I do feel angry. Though its another matter that I control my anger and take steps to prevent such injustices where ever i can act

I am sorry if I hurt you in some way unknowingly . I felt enthusiasm, proactiveness and aggression at work is needed for progress. We all as responsible citizens need to be intolerant to anything that is not acceptable in a civilized society. When we meet such things, it is natural to feel angry and many a times frustrated. We have to fight for it. But anger somehow burns our energy to fight. I t definitely makes us impulsive and we do not take a wise decision in impulse. Having our self in control helps us to come with better plans and suggestions to deal with it. Anger is self damaging. It is a natural emotion and should be acknowledged and dealt. But actions in anger mostly do not bear fruits. Yes, definitely fighting with evils with a strong conviction without being angry and impulsive helps. These are views that I hold and I agree with you that we feel angry with the evils in our society

@Usha

You ve expressed it rightly. If we see the evil practises & don't get angry about it, I doubt if the feeling to bring change ll develop in us. We ll end up adpting the ' chalta hain' attitude. Anger is a natural feeling. It becomes a problem only if start taking action while you are still angry. You need to act after you ve calm down

@Arunima

Please do not apologize. Forum is meant for exchanging ideas.  Both of us had given our own views. We need not agree on everything. As long as views are exchanged in a polite and decent manners, I don't think there is any harm in disagreeing with the other members. I really meant it when I said thst I am not good in English. Sometimes I am at a lose of words and end up using wrong words. By the way I enjoy going through your posts as you always ve something positive to contribute.