The right age difference for partners..

Total matters depend upon relation. Age is not a factor.

I want to say, it's the theme of my novel, which I am rewritting now.
Often, the age difference prevents the both from expressing the feeling towards the other, isn't it? Particularly if they are following Indian customs, thinking about their families too!!!! It's the story of unrevealed love between two people having age difference.

I have tried to prove that, it's with the mind that both people love each other, not according to physical appearance or age!!! It can happen even within a fraction of seconds even if our mind is not ready to accept the true fact!!!

I tried to say, "Love won't perish, but our body will. True love, loves soul only not body... which is immortal. So, if it's true love, it never look for appearance, age, time etc. Otherwise it's not true love because age shows physcal qualities and love is an eternal one"
What's your opinion?????

I too feel so sandhya :) because feelings are beyond age and appearances.when love is based only on mutual attraction it doesnt last long whereas when two people fall in love gradually after getting to know each other, the feelings are much deeper..

well, one thing that brings up this issue is the fact that we are living in India.

It has been followed for long that girls in marriage are often younger rather than older to the men they get married to. This is because of the fact that the Indian culture takes men to be the 'pati'/'owner' and teh women is the sub-ordinate or the weaker gender. That is why parents get angry if a guy likes a women older to him.

If this was USA/UK/Australia, then it would be acceptable because no one bothers about age, but only bothers about compatability

well, one thing that brings up this issue is the fact that we are living in India.

It has been followed for long that girls in marriage are often younger rather than older to the men they get married to. This is because of the fact that the Indian culture takes men to be the 'pati'/'owner' and teh women is the sub-ordinate or the weaker gender. That is why parents get angry if a guy likes a women older to him.

If this was USA/UK/Australia, then it would be acceptable because no one bothers about age, but only bothers about compatability

Even here in India there are scores of examples of yester years actors and many prominent people getting married to older women without any negative impact. It is basically a mind set, as you rightly pointed out in our society.But of late people dont really bother about such issues..

I want to say, it's the theme of my novel, which I am rewritting now.
Often, the age difference prevents the both from expressing the feeling towards the other, isn't it? Particularly if they are following Indian customs, thinking about their families too!!!! It's the story of unrevealed love between two people having age difference.

I have tried to prove that, it's with the mind that both people love each other, not according to physical appearance or age!!! It can happen even within a fraction of seconds even if our mind is not ready to accept the true fact!!!

I tried to say, "Love won't perish, but our body will. True love, loves soul only not body... which is immortal. So, if it's true love, it never look for appearance, age, time etc. Otherwise it's not true love because age shows physcal qualities and love is an eternal one"
What's your opinion?????

I too feel so sandhya :) because feelings are beyond age and appearances.when love is based only on mutual attraction it doesnt last long whereas when two people fall in love gradually after getting to know each other, the feelings are much deeper..

If so, my novel will be a huge hit smashing records :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I have added one more thing!!!!
According to Indian customs, wife should respect her husband. If she is older than her husband, she never respects him. That's why our ancestors made such a system. Many systems have already changed....even this one!!!
Ash-Abhi are living as a lovely couple.

Then what to say about those couples like Dileep Kumar-Saira Banu...gap of 21 years, even if he is older. :woohoo: :woohoo:


Me and husband only 9.5 months difference, he is elder. Now, we both are of same age :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
I usually don't respect him, I see a friend in him. It may be because of that 'age' factor!!!(also I knew him earlier)
Now also, he always deduct 1 year from mine, while he fills some application as he feels in mind, we should have at least 2 years age difference :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I want to say, it's the theme of my novel, which I am rewritting now.
Often, the age difference prevents the both from expressing the feeling towards the other, isn't it? Particularly if they are following Indian customs, thinking about their families too!!!! It's the story of unrevealed love between two people having age difference.

I have tried to prove that, it's with the mind that both people love each other, not according to physical appearance or age!!! It can happen even within a fraction of seconds even if our mind is not ready to accept the true fact!!!

I tried to say, "Love won't perish, but our body will. True love, loves soul only not body... which is immortal. So, if it's true love, it never look for appearance, age, time etc. Otherwise it's not true love because age shows physcal qualities and love is an eternal one"
What's your opinion?????

I too feel so sandhya :) because feelings are beyond age and appearances.when love is based only on mutual attraction it doesnt last long whereas when two people fall in love gradually after getting to know each other, the feelings are much deeper..

If so, my novel will be a huge hit smashing records :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I have added one more thing!!!!
According to Indian customs, wife should respect her husband. If she is older than her husband, she never respects him. That's why our ancestors made such a system. Many systems have already changed....even this one!!!
Ash-Abhi are living as a lovely couple.

Then what to say about those couples like Dileep Kumar-Saira Banu...gap of 21 years, even if he is older. :woohoo: :woohoo:


Me and husband only 9.5 months difference, he is elder. Now, we both are of same age :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
I usually don't respect him, I see a friend in him. It may be because of that 'age' factor!!!(also I knew him earlier)
Now also, he always deduct 1 year from mine, while he fills some application as he feels in mind, we should have at least 2 years age difference :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

It is nice to hear about your understanding with your husband sandhya, you both seem very balanced in your relationship :) Respect is mutual and definitely not based on age difference, which just goes to show how shallow the whole theory is :huh: .We respect our elders because we feel a lot of regard for them and also respect their experience in life and wisdom that they have amassed ...

I want to say, it's the theme of my novel, which I am rewritting now.
Often, the age difference prevents the both from expressing the feeling towards the other, isn't it? Particularly if they are following Indian customs, thinking about their families too!!!! It's the story of unrevealed love between two people having age difference.

I have tried to prove that, it's with the mind that both people love each other, not according to physical appearance or age!!! It can happen even within a fraction of seconds even if our mind is not ready to accept the true fact!!!

I tried to say, "Love won't perish, but our body will. True love, loves soul only not body... which is immortal. So, if it's true love, it never look for appearance, age, time etc. Otherwise it's not true love because age shows physcal qualities and love is an eternal one"
What's your opinion?????

I too feel so sandhya :) because feelings are beyond age and appearances.when love is based only on mutual attraction it doesnt last long whereas when two people fall in love gradually after getting to know each other, the feelings are much deeper..

If so, my novel will be a huge hit smashing records :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I have added one more thing!!!!
According to Indian customs, wife should respect her husband. If she is older than her husband, she never respects him. That's why our ancestors made such a system. Many systems have already changed....even this one!!!
Ash-Abhi are living as a lovely couple.

Then what to say about those couples like Dileep Kumar-Saira Banu...gap of 21 years, even if he is older. :woohoo: :woohoo:


Me and husband only 9.5 months difference, he is elder. Now, we both are of same age :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
I usually don't respect him, I see a friend in him. It may be because of that 'age' factor!!!(also I knew him earlier)
Now also, he always deduct 1 year from mine, while he fills some application as he feels in mind, we should have at least 2 years age difference :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

It is nice to hear about your understanding with your husband sandhya, you both seem very balanced in your relationship :) Respect is mutual and definitely not based on age difference, which just goes to show how shallow the whole theory is :huh: .We respect our elders because we feel a lot of regard for them and also respect their experience in life and wisdom that they have amassed ...

Thank you Usha for such a lovely commend.
He is older than me, but just 9 months. Actually we behave like friends....even our relatives say so. You know my character, talks a lot!! Thus a lively show throughout!!! :cheer: :cheer:
Actually if I try to respect him, I may not able to become so close with him or tease him with funny things!!! :P :P

yes, sandhya. you couple have a good understanding. So have choosed a good life partner who suits to your mentality

yes, sandhya. you couple have a good understanding. So have choosed a good life partner who suits to your mentality

Parents chose for me. Yet they chose the best!!!!

Actually I also believe, the gap should not be above 4 years. Then only we can consider him as our friend.
My parents have an age difference of 14 years. At that time, it's OK. But present times, even 10 year difference may be surprising!! Isn't it?

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

Earlier, husband was considered as a protector as woman won't earn and she stays at home. Now she earns and so, she just want a good friend in her husband to share everything!!!

Absolutely right sandhya, But not only friend, he should be care taker, admirer, lover and well wisher too

Absolutely right sandhya, But not only friend, he should be care taker, admirer, lover and well wisher too

Keep dreaming till you get the best!!


{CJATTACHMENT ["id": 7946]}

I never dream, I struggle to get the best which i need. or make the thing as i need. that is the magic of me

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

Earlier, husband was considered as a protector as woman won't earn and she stays at home. Now she earns and so, she just want a good friend in her husband to share everything!!!

No doubt that things have changed for the better ,but we still have a long way to go.Most earning wives are answerable to their hubbies and have no real freedom to take any decisions regarding their income..

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

Earlier, husband was considered as a protector as woman won't earn and she stays at home. Now she earns and so, she just want a good friend in her husband to share everything!!!

No doubt that things have changed for the better ,but we still have a long way to go.Most earning wives are answerable to their hubbies and have no real freedom to take any decisions regarding their income..

I think women themselves are responsible for this :evil: :evil: :evil:

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

Earlier, husband was considered as a protector as woman won't earn and she stays at home. Now she earns and so, she just want a good friend in her husband to share everything!!!

No doubt that things have changed for the better ,but we still have a long way to go.Most earning wives are answerable to their hubbies and have no real freedom to take any decisions regarding their income..

I think women themselves are responsible for this :evil: :evil: :evil:

Not quite so sandhya ! depends on many things.I know of women who are working and since it is needed, have their mother in laws staying with them at home and have to give their pay package to the m in law who decides what to do with the money. This really is a hope less situation, I feel it is better not to work, but stay home and do something from home..

I think women themselves are responsible for this :evil: :evil: :evil:

Not quite so sandhya ! depends on many things.I know of women who are working and since it is needed, have their mother in laws staying with them at home and have to give their pay package to the m in law who decides what to do with the money. This really is a hope less situation, I feel it is better not to work, but stay home and do something from home..

Ya, it's the other side of the same coin!!!!
Yet, I won't agree with the last sentence....if they have the opportunity to work outside, definitely they should do. :)

I think women themselves are responsible for this :evil: :evil: :evil:

Not quite so sandhya ! depends on many things.I know of women who are working and since it is needed, have their mother in laws staying with them at home and have to give their pay package to the m in law who decides what to do with the money. This really is a hope less situation, I feel it is better not to work, but stay home and do something from home..

Ya, it's the other side of the same coin!!!!
Yet, I won't agree with the last sentence....if they have the opportunity to work outside, definitely they should do. :)

depends on the situation ! If you have no freedom of any sort, it serves no purpose except that you are able to go out ..

yes, before i mean earlier people have some morals and they used to go according to them and respect marriage relation but now people stopped respecting marriage relation especially if the age difference is more. So choosing right partner with correct is important for present days marriages

Earlier, husband was considered as a protector as woman won't earn and she stays at home. Now she earns and so, she just want a good friend in her husband to share everything!!!

No doubt that things have changed for the better ,but we still have a long way to go.Most earning wives are answerable to their hubbies and have no real freedom to take any decisions regarding their income..

I think women themselves are responsible for this :evil: :evil: :evil:

Not quite so sandhya ! depends on many things.I know of women who are working and since it is needed, have their mother in laws staying with them at home and have to give their pay package to the m in law who decides what to do with the money. This really is a hope less situation, I feel it is better not to work, but stay home and do something from home..

Not so in every case UshaG- My daughter is a working woman with a one year old boy with a MS degree from BITS Pilani she works as project manger in an Australian company with a thick pay-pack. She acts according to her own wish, of course she is part of the family, only daughter in law and she owns every thing from both sides as only daughter as well.