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usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 10.
The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates – 10
That night it rained heavily and we had a power cut soon after we had finished our dinner. For some reason the power backup too failed and the only alternative was to go down to the pump house where the generator was kept and connect it to the residence. Arvind and Nanjappa went down carrying torches and their mobiles in plastic bags. They came back after an hour, unable to fix the cable since it was dark and the torch light was not sufficient and added to all that, part of the pump house roof was leaking, having not been fixed since a long time.
So, we moved around with candles and torches and went to bed early. I felt like a little girl, finding the experience of moving around the large house, holding a candle strangely exciting but Shalini as expected kept grumbling at the inconvenience and inefficiency in not fixing the power back up, the generator etc. She could only think of such things rather than help out. Rohini aunt, quite fed up of her nagging, questioned her as to why she could not help out rather than blame others all the time. Shalini just went up in a huff without bothering to answer. Later, as I lay in bed listening to the steady beat of the incessant rain, my thoughts naturally turned to Rohit and our last encounter. Although I had met many boys and young men while I was in college and even been attracted to a couple of them, I had never met anyone like Rohit before nor experienced the kind of strong feelings that were now raging within me, although I was not at all sure about his own feelings. I hugged them to myself and soon fell asleep.
The next morning was bright and beautiful, thankfully the power too had been restored. When I went down, Rohini aunt greeted me with a warm smile and Geeta handed over a cup of home brewed coffee. Geeta had already prepared Upma for breakfast and since it was Sunday and their day off, both she and Nanjappa were planning to visit some relatives. After breakfast I and Rohini aunt went round the garden, collected flowers, vegetables, some of which had dropped down due to the heavy rains and plucked some fruits as well. Later we made Bisibele bath which is the south Indian Khichdi with lots of vegetables and Raita for lunch.
Visiting Vidyakka and Rohit
Shalini and Arvind appeared during lunch time and after lunch, Rohini aunt announced that she was planning to visit Rohit and Vidyakka after her nap. Arvind wanted to come too and so did Shalini. We walked down the street instead of taking the jeep. Vidyakka was in the garden, Rohit too came out greeting us and gave me that special look as he smiled at me? Or was it my imagination? Vidyakka was very hospitable and a wonderful cook. She served us Tea, tasty pakorahs and Coconut Barfi, which she said was Rohit’s favourite. Shalini commented that Rohit used to like Coconut Barfi even when he was in college and everyone went silent! It really was a tricky situation but Shalini seemed quite oblivious of it. Other than that we had a lovely time chatting and getting to know them and the more I interacted with Rohit and his sister the more my attraction for him and regard for her grew. Arvind too seemed to be happy and carefree, speaking to both of them and laughing a lot. As it began to grow dark we made our way back with Rohit accompanying us till the estate gates.
It was a memorable day and a very happy one. Shalini seemed much more approachable while we were there. But once we reached home, her alter ego was back with a vengeance. She strode upstairs without responding to Rohini aunt’s queries about dinner. I found it shocking and felt it was highly insensitive of her not to bother with any household chores, leaving Rohini aunt to handle everything even on Sundays when Geeta was away. Since Geeta and Nanjappa came back, we all could relax and together I and Rohini aunt helped Geeta in preparing dinner .
I was finding Shalini’s behaviour more and more perplexing, she seemed fine after Mahesh anna left and I also felt that whatever mood changes she had were nothing but clever manipulations to fool Mahesh anna. I felt extremely sorry for him because he was a caring and generous person who tended to overlook many things that were obvious to others. He was hard working and seemed preoccupied with work and responsibilities of running the estate all the time, added to which was Shalini and her many avatars that must be causing a great deal of anxiety to him. No man would be happy to see his wife openly showing preference to another man and I sincerely hoped, Shalini would mend her ways and realise Mahesh anna’s worth.
Rohini aunt joined me and asked me what was I thinking about? I hesitated but decided to tell her exactly what I felt about the situation. When she heard me out she sighed and had this to say..
“Shalini has never cared for Mahesh, she married him for his money little realising that life is not easy for him nor is it a bed of roses for her here at the estate. When Rohit came here Mahesh and he became friends through their dealings in the bank and Mahesh in fact found the house for him without realising that he was involved with Shalini at one time.”
I asked “ So when did Shalini meet Rohit?“
“She met him here at home when Mahesh invited Rohit and Vidyakka for dinner one night. After that she started her new drama, going into depression and what not .. “ “It is no use telling Mahesh that she is quite normal and in her full senses… Anita, I can only see danger ahead of me. God alone knows what exactly goes on in that devilish mind of hers.“
I was scared to hear that because I too had sensed danger and felt uneasy at times for no reason at all. I went to bed with a disturbed mind filled with foreboding and anguish. As a result I had very little sleep that night.
Mahesh anna is back
The next couple of days went quickly but one incident stood out in my mind. It was the day Mahesh anna was expected back. After breakfast I went to the office and found the laptop I was using open and obviously tampered with. Only one person could have done that – Arvind. In fact, he came into the office just then and asked me for some documents. I told him frankly that I could not pass any document, account details or files without Mahesh anna’s consent. I could see that he was not happy with my response.
Later, I went through the file he had asked for and found several large amounts of money transfers from the main estate account to different bank accounts. I decided to bring this to Mahesh anna’s notice as soon as he was back. After Mahesh anna was back, I noticed a change in him right away. He seemed more sure of himself and plunged himself into work with added zeal. Shalini too must have noticed the change in him because one morning when Rohini aunt complained of back ache, Mahesh anna asked Shalini to help out in the kitchen and look after the household rather than lounge around in her bedroom all the time. Shalini opened her mouth to probably protest and contradict him like before, but stopped short when he looked at her sternly. Not that she did anything much but she did hang around the kitchen coming in Geeta’s way and generally being a nuisance. I felt it was a welcome change to at least see Shalini falling in line after all this time.
But what caused this sudden change in Mahesh anna? I told him about the money transfers which he seemed to know but asked me to send the file to his computer. Later that night after dinner we could hear Arvind and Mahesh anna arguing in the office. I presumed it had something to do with the money transfers. Surprisingly Shalini came and sat next to me and asked if I knew why they were arguing. I denied any knowledge of it but she looked at me as if she did not believe me.
Tangles
The next few days brought in many changes in all of us. Shalini was in the kitchen during the day trying to help and was a little more friendly to others including me I and Rohit were now meeting on a daily basis in the afternoons. We would talk about many things and I would confide in him about all that was going on at Akashdeep. The only disturbing fact was that he would never comment or speak about Shalini even when I brought up her name. I was wondering if we could really move forward unless we breach that wall. Another incident that disturbed me was accidentally discovered by me. One morning after my work at the office, Rohini aunt requested me to accompany Nanjappa to Vidyakka and Rohit's house, since he was taking some vegetables and fruits grown in the estate. I agreed and we set off down the road and ahead of us Shalini was walking and turned into one of the roads and when I glanced in that direction, I could see someone ahead of her and I realised with a shock that it was Rohit. Vidyakka too confirmed that Rohit had come home early and had gone out for a walk. That afternoon I did not go to my favourite place. I was totally depressed and angry , went up to my room and lay down pleading a headache. As I thought things over I felt that I was being unreasonable and Rohit had every right to lead his life the way he wanted and I also remembered my father's words "Never judge a situation without full knowledge and understanding." But the ache in my heart refused to go away.
However, in the evening Rohit and Vidyakka came home unexpectedly and we were all pleasantly surprised to see them. Shalini came down but remained quiet and uncommunicative. As they were leaving, Rohit asked me if he could have a word with me. I nodded and when he asked me for my mobile number I gave it with some reluctance. He smiled and thanked me. Later he sent a message requesting me to meet him the next afternoon without fail since he wanted to discuss certain matters with me. I agreed and promised to meet him.
The next morning while I was at the office Mahesh anna came in and teased me about Rohit. He wanted to know if there was anything brewing between us and I was taken aback and must have blushed nice and proper because he laughed out and seemed happy about it. But I told him that we were friends and there was nothing else and he laughed some more and went out. It was good to see him happy and laughing which he rarely did.
I eagerly waited for lunch time and after, when I was free to go for my walk and meet Rohit..
( To be continued )
7 years ago
Reena created new article When we change, world changes.
Introduction
We all are different from each other and thus have the different point of views. For some of us, the world seems to be a happy place whereas, for others, it is just a tiring, worn out place. Some of us want to hop on and enjoy the ride whereas others want to end their journey at the earliest. For some, it is a peaceful place whereas others cannot stand its hustle and bustle. Why there is so much of contrast when all of us are living in the same existing world? This is because we all see the world through different eyes. We are what we want to see. We are what our inner self-allows us to see. Just a thought is needed to change everything inside and when things change inside then within no time, the world seems to change too.
Changes should be internal
If we are peaceful from the inside, we feel everything at peace in the external world too and will never complain of all the hustle-bustle taking place in the outer world because we will never even notice it. We will only look for peace even in the outer world. if we ourselves are restless and not at peace then even the most peaceful place on earth cannot guarantee the same no matter how many efforts we put in to achieve it. if we are honest, everyone around us will seem honest to us, even if they are lying. If we are dishonest then everyone around us will seem to be lying even if they are telling the truth to us. Once we have lost the quality of trusting somebody then even the most loyal, trustworthy person will be seen with suspicion. Everything is inside. We keep blaming others for what they have done to the world. Pollution, population explosion, crimes, corruption etc seem to be ruining this world and yes they are, but we cannot blame anyone for all these. It is we who have brought this upon ourselves and it is we who can stop them. We want the world to be a peaceful place then we need to start the work from ourselves. First, we need to learn to live in peace. Until and unless we are at peace, we cannot ask others to do the same. Until and unless we are happy, we cannot expect the world to become a happy place. Charity begins at home and thus change has to be brought in ourselves.
Internal change brings happiness
What we usually feel is that if world changes, we will change. We blame others for our restlessness and increased stress and tension in our lives. We feel that if people around us change, we too will change. We complain that it is others who are not allowing us to live a peaceful, happy life. The whole turbulence in our life is because of others and thus throughout our lives, we wander in search of love, peace, and happiness. We search for these entities in the outer world whereas they are present within us. We are unaware of them that is what the real problem is. Comforts give us momentary satisfaction and we feel that this comfort itself is happiness. We do not know the real difference between comfortable life and happy life. Those who are less fortunate feel that they cannot be happy because they are deprived of money, love or health. However, they need to understand that money or no money, happiness is present within themselves and once they explore it, the world becomes a happy place.
Do the easy task
We cannot wait for the world to change. Just look at its vastness, look at the number of people in this world. It is even difficult to imagine to change each and every one of them. What would be easier? Whether we need to change these many numbers of people so that we can live happily or else we have to change ourselves so that our life becomes a bundle of joy is all up to us. Every day we will encounter so many people. Some will be familiar faces, others will be among the ones whom we will be encountering for the first time. We cannot expect each of them to behave or talk to us the way we want them to. Every time someone behaves differently than we expected, we cannot keep hurting ourselves. If this is the case then it will be a story of a lifetime because every day someone or the other will definitely hurt us and everyday circumstances will arrive which we had not usually expected. Now it is left to us whether we make ourselves so vulnerable that anyone and anything can make our lives miserable or change ourselves from inside which will make the whole world to change.
Why we do not change ourselves
We usually want others to change. We do not try to bring change in ourselves. There are two reasons behind this. One is that we feel that we are alright and there is nothing wrong with us. It is the people who have to change because the problem always is with others. The second reason is that change needs efforts. We want others to change because we just want them to make all the efforts. We do not want to put in any effort and thus we do not change ourselves. To change ourselves, we have to change our belief systems which are the root cause of what we think and how we think. When we replace old belief system with new one, we will start thinking in a completely different way. We will be able to explore peace, love, happiness within ourselves and thus will stop looking for them in the outer world. Once we are contented, we will stop asking for the same things from others and instead of asking, we will start sharing our valuables with them.
Everything is inside
Today since we are lacking inner peace, we will look for it in the outer world. We do not respect ourselves and thus crave for the same for others. We do not know how to appreciate ourselves and thus we seek appreciation and acknowledgment from others. We do not love ourselves and thus try to find loving relationships in the outer world. We have not explored happiness and since we are deprived of it, we try to find it from others. Once we know that these qualities are present in ourselves and all we have to do is that we need to start exploring them and use them to feel contentment. We will respect and appreciate ourselves. We will always be at peace. Happiness and love will be our jewels which we will carry wherever we go. When we are contented, we will stop searching them in the outside world. In fact, once these qualities get explored, we will discover that we have an enormous amount of reserves of these qualities within us and thus we will start sharing them with others. More we share, more these qualities grow and become strong in us.
Conclusion
When we change, definitely the world changes. If we have to bring change in the world then we need to bring change in ourselves. Just a thought can change anything. Our dream world is just a thought away. If we want to enjoy living in a peaceful, happy world then we need to create a thought which says that we are happy and peaceful souls. Inner conditioning will help us to become what we really wanted to become. When we have achieved everything which we have always dreamt about then we will rarely search for those things in the outside world. If we are happy, the world seems a happy place for us. If we are at peace then world appears to be a peaceful place to us. If we have love then the world seems a loving place to us. Thus, change a thought and bring the real change inside to see a changed better world.
7 years ago
usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 9.
The Mysterious Incident At Akashdeep estates - 9
As we approached the town it began to drizzle and the sky was steadily becoming darker and we felt that there would be more rain in store during the course of the day.
Shalini requested or rather commanded Arvind to drop her at the bank since she hated going out in the rain and getting wet and visiting the post office etc. etc. while Arvind and I could finish our jobs and meet her there. Arvind asked me if I too wanted to be dropped off at the bank , in fact insisted that I too should go with Shalini and he would take care of all the jobs that needed to be done. Although I was eager to see Rohit and more importantly see Shalini and Rohit together, I felt it was unfair to let him handle all the jobs alone.
We dropped Shalini at the bank and set off to the post office which was actually run from a house. I was told that in most smaller villages and smaller towns this was the trend, a cost cutting measure with the post master functioning from his house. Here, the post master, a pleasant middle aged retired teacher did the postal services from the open veranda in his house with the help of his wife. He had a table, chairs and a couple of shelves for storage which comprised of his office. Apparently, he also acted as the post man when it was required, personally handing over mail at the 3 banks and a few other offices and shops. Most estate owners came to the post office to collect their mail, which is what we were doing. I had been wondering why the post man never visited Akashdeep and now I had the answer.
We went to the chemist and Arvind had to get some printouts which was done at the grocery shop where they had copier as well, after which we proceeded to the bank. Thankfully, the drizzle had subsided although the dark clouds were gathering . We could hear voices from within the Manager's cabin and Arvind knocked as we entered the cabin. There was Rohit and two other men with him obviously his colleague busy discussing and looking at some files. Shalini sat there with a bored expression. Rohit said hello to us and requested all of us to wait outside while he finished his work and join us.
I could see that Shalini was not very happy with this and walked out and sat alone in a corner.Soon after Rohit joined us and asked me, what I thought of the post office, the post master and his wife ? who he seemed to admire for all the hard work they put in, since they were paid very little for their services. I showed my appreciation for them and Shalini, who had joined us, at this juncture said that she was dying of thirst and Rohit pointed to a water filter in the room and continued speaking to us. I could see Arvind trying to hide his smile.
Rohit asked..“So, have you finished with all your jobs?“ If you are heading home, can you please drop me off since we have finished for the day and the week? My own vehicle is at the service station” He finished with a smile ..
So, we all set off and Rohit sat in the front chatting about various matters with Arvind and Shalini and I sat at the back, every now and then Shalini would bend forward to add her own two bits to the conversation. When we reached Rohit’s house we saw Vidyakka coming out towards us. She smiled at all of us and asked Arvind how Rohini aunt was and touched my shoulder and head with affection. I liked her and her way of connecting with people and smiled at her. She asked Shalini how she was and Shalini began to say how she was bored ..
“I would have thought that living in a large coffee estate would keep everyone on their toes.. You should have gone with Mahesh, he would have enjoyed having his wife with him away from his daily grind at the estate and you too would have been happy to be in the city with him and your parents.“
Shalini mumbled about how Mahesh had not given her enough time, telling about his trip only at the last minute…The impression I got was that Vidyakka was not impressed by Shalini or her beauty but was indeed impatient with her attitude and airs.
Vidyakka invited us in but Arvind said that we had to be back at the estate to pay the workers off since it was Saturday..
Vidyakka looked at me and said that I should visit them and I told her what Rohini aunt too was keen on visiting her and promised to visit them at the earliest. With that we hurried back to the estate and Shalini disappeared climbing up the stairs..We hurried through the lunch and went into the office where the writer was already waiting with his books. After the last worker had been paid off, we were left alone – myself and Arvind. Rohini aunt too joined us.
Arvind asked me how I liked the experience of living on the estate to which I said that I liked it immensely and each day was a learning experience for me? He smiled at this and after thinking for a while he told me that Mahesh anna should never come to know that Shalini had come to the bank with us. I was surprised and asked him why?
Arvind was not sure what to say but Rohini aunt responded and it was something that I had perceived, probably an intuition I had all along..
“ Shalini and Rohit have known each other a long time and were in love when they were in college. I am not sure what happened after that, probably Shalini left Rohit to marry Mahesh who is far more prosperous and Mahesh came to know about their relationship after marriage which must have been hard for him but he was understanding about it since it was in the past. However, ever since Rohit came here, Shalin has been acting weird and she is trying to rekindle her romance with Rohit from what I see. So, Mahesh is worried and wonders as to what the future holds for him?“
Now I could understand the situation a lot better and it also brought in more complicating thoughts that disturbed me. Did Rohit still love her ? I asked them what they thought of Rohit ?
Arvind responded, " Rohit is very likeable and a thorough gentleman and while he is friendly with Shalini, personally I feel that he would never encourage her. More importantly he genuinely likes Mahesh, one can see that, and he would never spoil his friendship with him. But knowing Shalini, she is the kind who would go to any length to get what she wants. In some ways she is still a spoilt and pampered child and Mahesh gives in easily just to keep her happy which has made her worse. She is not a nice person in fact she is cruel," and Rohini aunt too nodded and when I mentioned about having met Vidyakka she was genuinely happy and told me that we could visit them the next afternoon since it was Sunday.
When Arvind said those last words he had an expression that was difficult to fathom. I had always thought that he liked Shalini but that day I began to have doubts. I also wondered what Shalini could have done that brought out such strong feelings in him? No doubt she was self centered and selfish and as far as Rohit was concerned, she was probably bored and wanted to have some excitement and his coming there must have been a godsend opportunity for her. But then why go into depression? What was behind that if it was genuine? Even if it was not genuine, what was the need to pretend? These were questions and thoughts that really bothered me. I also remembered my mother telling me not to get involved in their personal matters. I decided to take things as they come but when I thought about Rohit, I suddenly realised how much he meant to me and it was difficult not to have any personal thoughts.
Although Rohit liked Mahesh anna, I was not sure about Mahesh anna's feelings for Rohit because I clearly remembered his expression on that first day when we had met Rohit near the gates of the estate and how Mahesh anna was anything but pleased with the encounter. I was worried and very disturbed by all this and although it was drizzling I decided t go for walk and be by myself in my favorite spot. I told Rohini aunt who asked me to take an umbrella with me and I set out with my stole and an umbrella . The weather was glorious, dark but there was a fresh cool breeze heavy with water drops, I felt exhilarated..
Automatically I went up the hill to my favorite spot and as I climbed up, could see Shalini at a distance going down in the opposite direction which also led to another hill. I sat on the bench and looked down at Rohit's cottage and my heart skipped a beat when I saw him walking on the road below, he disappeared from my sight after a while when the road sharply curved. I sat there feeling small , wondering whether he was going to meet Shalini and I could feel tears pricking my eyes. I sat there for a long time unable to appreciate the beauty of the nature and then must have fallen asleep.
When I suddenly woke up, Rohit was there looking down at me with a concerned expression. I straightened up and was not sure what to say...
"I am again sorry to have rudely awakened you... is something bothering you? You had tears on your cheeks like a small child .." he seemed so caring and concerned and I could feel my tears welling up which I brushed away with my hands.
Of course I could not say what the real reason was, so mumbled about how I missed my family! But I already could feel a change in my mood as he sat on the bench besides me asking me about my family asking questions. The world seemed such beautiful place and I was aware of every little thing around me and all that mattered was this moment when I was with Rohit and the very fact that he had come here looking for me was more than enough to make me happy! We sat there for a long time saying nothing but all my senses were aware of him and all I could do was smile at him and when he smiled back at me I felt as if there were no dark clouds.
Little did we know that dark clouds were gathering around our very lives and how? when the downpour began it would consume and threaten all of us! But for the moment all was well with my world.
I thought back on what I had read somewhere .. "Throwing both my hands up to the sky, I am letting myself go, I'm just living for the moment "
Now when I think back I realise that was one of the happiest days of my life that I would treasure forever !
( to be continued)
7 years ago
MG Singh created new article India vs Pakistan: is it a case of David and Goliath.
India during the days of the Raj was one monolith unit. In fact, for the first time in history, the Indian subcontinent was one nation. It was a country that stretched from the North West frontier to give Cape Comorin and from Baluchistan the Far East Himalayas beyond Assam.
The two major religions Hinduism and Islam could not reconcile together. The Muslims who had been rulers for 900 years were chary to be ruled by Hindus and feared that in a Hindu dominated India they would have no place. The Hindus were also fearful of the vast Muslim population which they felt would not allow them to rule unfettered. They supported bifurcation of India. It is on record that Gandhi and Nehru were instrumental in the division of India.
The state of Pakistan was this carved out of India. In terms of area, the state of Pakistan was pretty large but the Indian leadership under Indira Gandhi were able to break the country, leading to the creation of Bangladesh. This was a great achievement and Indira Gandhi deserves credit for it. Pakistan was reduced to a small size almost one-fifth of India and it was assumed that India would be the dominant power in Southeast Asia. Unfortunately, the script went wrong somewhere as the Pakistan that emerged after the breaking away of Bangladesh was more like David. We are aware of the famous tale in the Bible where a small boy named David destroyed the big giant Goliath by his sling. Somehow I can't feel helping that this analogy applies to India and Pakistan, where Pakistan is almost like David facing a Goliath like India and the net result is India is powerless against this enfant terrible.
Pakistani under Zulfikar Ali Bhutto decided to follow a different strategy. They went for nuclear weapons and strengthened their Army which is now almost half the size of India and the seventh largest army in the world. The army has been armed by the Americans with hard dollars. America has never been able to justify why it has given billions of dollars of weapon free of cost to Pakistan. The result is that Pakistan has a formidable Army.The racial stock of the Army is similar to that of India as both are descendants of the British Indian Army of colonial days. Pakistan army may have lost Bangladesh but that was due to their faulty strategy and now they are looking For Revenge.
General Zia ul Haq, the ex-President of Pakistan in the 80s formulated a theory to fight India. He was of the view that Pakistan need not fight an open war but an indirect war and bleed India with a 100 cuts. This has been the genesis of the Kashmiri insurrection where not a day passes without at least 2 or 3 Indian soldiers being killed. Many people have asked me why does India tolerate this nonsense from Pakistan when it is 5 times bigger than Pakistan. The fact is the Indian military is not in a position to give a decisive blow to the Pakistan army.ln, a future fight there could be a probability of the Pakistan army carrying the day in Kashmir.In case that happens, it will be a body blow to the concept of India and only persons to be blamed are the Indian political leadership.
Pakistan has followed a one point programme of opposing India at every stage.They have striven for military parity with India and have more than achieved it. They have also built very strong defences around Lahore which is just 20 km from the Wagah Border. The Indian Army in an attempt to capture Lahore in 1965, lost one full brigade in trying to cross the Ichigol canal. Though in a military conflict numbers will prevail and India may hold the upper hand but it cannot be a walkover. In such a situation the fact that Pakistan has achieved military parity with India is a matter of concern.The responsibility for losing the military edge rests with the political leadership which devoid of any idea of strategic powerplay has allowed the army to go to seed.
Thus when people ask me why India cannot thrash Pakistan, the answer is simple and that is that Pakistan is militarily very strong and has near parity with India along with a strong nuclear arsenal which is bigger than India's.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Conflict- An ugly argument.
Introduction
Conflict gets created when two individuals do not agree on something. Disagreement on any matter is a very common thing to take place. But when disagreement takes the form of an argument then it is said that conflict is created. The argument is the end of acceptance. When we argue, we shut down everything inside and create a blockage. This blockage itself will not allow us to understand others point of view. We keep making a statement to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. If other people too do the same thing then within no time disagreements turn into conflict. Having an opinion is right and voicing out that opinion too is okay but when we try to prove others that we are right ones while their opinions are wrong then this disagreeing argument takes shape of conflict.
What causes conflict
Conflict is often heated arguments where there is too much of anger and noise. This is the situation where others opinions do not matter and all that matters is how much we can raise our voice over their voices. Argument or conflict is non-acceptance. Hundreds of questions will be put up and there will always be disagreement. There will be lots of protests and each of the two people who are arguing desire that their opponent just believes what they are saying without protesting. Only our opinions and evidence provided by us will matter at that point of time and others opinions and evidence no matter how strong they may be done not matter at all. We just keep arguing persuasively and while doing so our confidence seems pretty high. We keep emphasizing that our evidence are true and thus this becomes a reason for conflict. We are demanding acceptance from the other person on the same matter and when he opposes us, lots of negativity fills in the whole of the environment. We just do not understand that it is our belief system and as per that we have made up our point of view. It is not at all necessary that others too develop the same point of view as ours. Different people have different belief systems and as per that their conditioning takes place. There is no point if we take it on our ego because then we will be doing more damage to ourselves and the conflict will remain unresolved.
Where there is conflict, there is no solution
We somehow become more authoritative and take up the whole charge whereas there is no need for us to become in charge of anything. This authoritative power which we self-impose on ourselves will make us feel that we have an upper hand and can do whatever we want to. Where there is conflict, there cannot be an agreement. To solve an issue and come to a conclusion, the agreement is essential. Until and unless the conflict is solved, it is very sure that agreement or solution can never be obtained. Conflict is nothing but a state of our mind. It is a state with which we disagree and the decision is almost impossible to obtain.
End the conflict
Conflicts can be ended within a second if even one person shows harmony or else it can run for decades and even centuries. When beliefs, ideas, thoughts, interests clash, conflicts are created. We say that two belief systems are in conflict and it means they are very different from one another. One teaches something and the other one do not support that at all. When people clash i.e., when there is conflict in between them, it becomes almost impossible for them to live together or exist side by side in harmony. The firm opinion of one may conflict with others opinions.
The discussion is the key
Discussion means proper communication. People talk about the matter, keeping their opinions in front of one another. Unlike in case of arguments, people here respect each other's opinions and honor each other's point of views too. They hear their opponents words or opinions and then both parties decide. Since there was no such sort of blockage created, there is no feeling of superiority here. When both the parties keep their opinions in front of each other, most right of both the opinions are selected and the deal is sealed. Decision or agreement can also be reached if the proper discussion is held and if there is no sort of argument or conflict created. This is the reason that it is often said that communication is very healthy.
Argument versus discussion
To resolve an issue or conflict, we need to talk to each other. If there is no sort of communication established then how can a problem that is been existing can be solved. Conflict and disagreement will keep on continuing for ages without coming to a conclusion. If discussion replaces argument then conflict can be solved within a few minutes. The only difference between argument and discussion is that in an argument we feel that we are right and have enough evidence to support our verdict and thus do not even care to listen to our opponent. In the discussion, we present our point of view and support it with evidence, but we have not yet come to a conclusion that we are right and our opponent is wrong. We are open to the possibilities that our opponent might offer a solution better than what we are offering and thus listen to them carefully. When both the parties keep their ears open they will immediately come to a conclusion.
Conflict is ugly
Conflict is an intense fighting period between two people, two groups or even two countries. It is a period where we tend to oppose our opponent as much as possible and carry out every possible task to stop them from succeeding. There is a whole lot of criticization that takes place. All we do is make others feel low by strongly disagreeing with them and criticizing them all the time. All we know is to quarrel with others. A conflict is a kind of battle in which two opponents keep competing with one another to achieve success and control each other. This becomes more like a contest to win where all that matters is to achieve success. When we lose our inner conscious and get low to achieve the success then we may have won the battle, but lost the war. In a conflict, all we do is that we try to hurt each other. Our disagreement will be more like a quarrel and anger will always be present in it.
Conflict is not a contest
Conflict should have to be resolved and it can only be done if we do not indulge in it as if it is a contest. There should not be a question of winning or losing anything. If we need to resolve any conflict with our opponents then the first thing we need to do is to respect them. Once we respect them, we will respect their point of view too. We will soon realize that their thoughts or views are the creation of their belief system. We need to understand that beliefs are too deep. This will make us feel that they are not wrong. When we get clear on this matter, we will soon start hearing them. This is because now we know that they are not wrong in their opinions and thus there is no harm in hearing them out. A blockage that we created deep inside of us will soon get cleared out. Once we listen to them, they too will sense our honesty and efforts that we are putting in and do the same thing. They will allow us to speak and in the same way respect our decisions. Communication will play a key factor here to resolve conflicts.
Conclusion
Conflict does not get created when two people do not agree. It, in fact, gets created when a solution is not met. When communication is established and we start hearing out each other, within no time, we ourselves along with our opponents can come to a very fine conclusion. When discussion replaces arguments to resolve a conflict, ego is lost somewhere. Once ego is shut down by both the parties, decision making becomes easy. We may or may not win the battle, but will not feel bad because we will be in favor of the decision. The decision that is taken and agreement that is made may not benefit us, but we will be happy about it and remain at peace because we will realize that it is best for us and for others. Even if our opponents have one it, we will feel happy because we know they deserved it better than us. Once conflict within our mind is resolved, conflict in outer world does not take much time to get solved.
7 years ago
MG Singh created new article ' Not a leaf moves without my will' so said Lord and that includes love.
I have been wondering about so many events in my life. I consider myself lucky that my life is full of varied experiences throughout the years. I have been assailed by many thoughts but overall I have come to the conclusion, that the words of the Lord " Not a leaf moves without my will" is a Cardinal principle of life.
After leaving the Air Force,I was one of the lucky few who was interviewed by AH Tobaccowala a doyen of the Parsi community and an earlier close associate of JRD Tata. This interview was for a Community Health Project under the auspiciousness of the World Health Organisation and was located in Palghar district of Maharashtra. I was appointed the project director. It was a very senior appointment making me responsible through the Indian headquarters headed by Tobaccowala to the WHO in Geneva. I had his bevy of scientists in various fields like tribal welfare, water sanitation, improvement in agriculture and other associated subjects reporting to me. Though I have none of these or matching qualifications, yet the interviewing a thought I was the most competent man to be the project director of this tribal welfare project. Before I took over I was called to Geneva for a briefing.
The beginning of the tryst
My story really commences from the time I landed in Geneva I was put in a good hotel but it was bitterly cold as it was the month of December. I had a meeting with the top brass of the WHO who briefed me about the project and told me that they had appointed me to the post of the director basically to see that the project was properly administered and there was no corruption. A vast amount of funds were flowing into the community project from the WHO and the previous incumbent probably swindled $200,000.I was told that they had studied my background and their confidence was high that I would not allow a repeat of such a monstrous act.I was delighted that the authorities have so much confidence in me during the meetings I was introduced to young American doctor named Sally. This is not her real name but is one used by me to identify her for the simple reason that it will not be proper for me to name such a person.
I looked at Sally and saw that she was about 5 feet 4 inches tall, extremely slim with very shapely legs. Above all, she was a doctor and I was told she has been with the World Health Organisation for close to 6 years. I guessed her age as about 25 that made her about two decades younger than me but this did not dampen my enthusiasm and desire wondered what she was like as a woman. I have once a brief meeting with her and I took my chance.
"Sally," I said "I am here for another 3 days. Would you care to have dinner with me tonight/"
She thought for a moment and then her eyes brightened and she said: "yes, certainly why not?"
So the dice were cast.After getting to my hotel I asked the manager to arrange dinner for a couple in a quiet corner of the dining hall.
Sali came at 8 pm.She was wearing a gorgeous black dress with the slit up to the hips. This set her to good advantage and now I had a look at her face. She had slightly smallish eyes with a square chin and I guessed she was descendant of the Red Indians many generations earlier. Overall she created the image of a very enticing woman and as we clicked champagne, we came to know each other better. It was a long dinner and continued late into the night the ice had been broken between us and we were now almost friends. I shook hands as she left with the word "goodbye Sally, hope you are going to come to India soon".
" Yes of course" she replied"I will come to India. In fact, I come here quite often to work with the tribals and I hope you will be there. It will be a great pleasure working with you." She laughed and I could not help feeling that her laughing was just like the chimes of small bells ring in a church.
The Tryst
I came back to India and took charge of my post as the director.It was a tremendous job and give me a great opportunity to learn about tribes and their modes and Customs. I really felt that I was doing some good in the world. This is the first time in my life even after two decades in the airforce that made me think of such thoughts. One day I was sitting in my office when my secretary came to me and said"Sir, a cable has come from Geneva. A person called doctor Sally will be visiting for a month."
My ears picked up and I asked her to repeat the message. I was delighted that doctor Sally would be coming too Palghar and maybe I could invite her to dinner again
On the due date, Sally landed at Santacruz airport and she was picked up by our vehicle and brought to Palghar. We had a small guest house and I positioned there. It was small place situated in the woods with a lot of greenery all around and course it was fully air-conditioned.I had also arranged for a chef who could cook continental food
Sally was course delighted to meet me. She gushed " captain, it's a great honor to be here with you and I look forward to a lot of interaction for tribal welfare"
"Yes, I know that is the purpose why we are here" I replied.
Sally began to work, initially in the headquarters and later she began to move on her own among the tribals. There was very little interaction between me and Sally for the first one week, considering that she had come for a month, I began to wonder whether she would go back without my having had dinner with her. These are lascivious thoughts in my mind but these cannot be wished away.Especially for a man like me who has seen the world and his wife had left him half a dozen years back.
This was the period of the monsoon and everybody knows that Ghats monsoon is something that has to be experienced. Over 100 inches of rain falls and torrents reign making the atmosphere romantic and the countryside becomes beautiful and green.
One day Sally told me, "Captain, I have to go to Ratham village and there is no vehicle available can. I take your Land Cruiser?"
I replied" that's not a problem but the problem is that there is no driver as today the driver has not come from Andheri but there is a way out and that is I will drive you to the village" This delighted Sally and she said " why the delay, so let's go"
I jumped into the driver's seat of the Land Cruiser and put the vehicle into gear and the vehicle lurched forward. Sally sat in the seat next to me and looked at me. I wondered what was going through her mind and as we continued forward the rain began to fall. It was not a simple rain but a torrent almost like a cloudburst. Thunder boomed and boomed again and lightning crashed across the sky. I had a feeling that's something was going to happen. I had never seen long thunders strike with such boom and I had a feeling that Lord Krishna was up to something.
I again wondered what could be the reason for this avalanche. The rain now increased in speed and after a few minutes Sally said " Sir, you better stop because I wonder if you can see anything as the visibility is reduced to almost zero"
" Yes," I said "that's a good idea," as I piloted the Land Rover to a halt by the side of the road. Let me tell your friends it was not much of a road really and basically, it was just kutcha path through the mountains. As we sat in the Land Cruiser I began to wonder about these strange events which are taking place. I said, more to myself' "Looks like this is the hand of Lord himself"
She caught on and asked, " who is the Lord?"
I replied "He is Lord Krishna, who really runs the universe. He is omnipotent everywhere and there is one quotation in the Bhagavad Gita which about sums up the essence of life. It says " not a leaf moves without my will"
" Do you believe, "she asked
Yes" I replied " I do believe it and if we are together here with rain all around it can only be the handiwork of the Lord himself"
Sally looked out of the window at the rhythmic pattern of the rain falling on the earth. What was she thinking? I didn't know as I said something which I wanted to say so many times.
"Sally, I must say you are the most wonderful beautiful girl I've ever seen". She smiled back at me and replied" I knew it all along, in fact, I have been sure. I have seen your eyes following me and believe me I knew the driver was not available today and I wanted to come with you alone" I was in for a shock as now it transferred that this visit has been planned by Sally, as she knew the driver was not there and I would drive the vehicle.
She just looked out of the window and whispered" Captain, I had a weird dream yesterday. I man big and strong took me in his arms and carried me away. He seemed to jump over the clouds as he held me tight. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see my abductors face, but something told me it was you." That's when I engineered this little plot today, but I never knew the heavens would break asunder and I would be in the position I am now.
These words hit me like an avalanche and impulsively I caught her hand. She made no attempt to pull it back as I carried it forward to my lips. I kissed the knuckles, the inside of the palm and sucked the thumb and each finger. She made no attempt to pull her hand away and then suddenly thunder and lightning crashed and the cruiser shook like an aspen leaf.
There was no word spoken between us as lightning and thunder crashed across the sky and the rain beat on the earth. I had pulled the seat into the reclining position and took her face in my hands and kissed her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her chin for what seemed like an eternity.
"Sally, Sally" I whispered " you are my girl and if God wills and if the Lords feels maybe this day will have some memories, later on. I will not describe further what happened because it is something so primordial, something so glorious, something like the dance of Shiva as I undressed Sally. I made ferocious love to her. I am a fitness freak, a golfer, mountaineer, horse rider and these held me in good stead as with the rain beating all around and the Land Cruiser shaking like a leaf and with thunder booming, again and again, Sally became mine. At the back of my mind, I had no regrets that I had seduced the girl two decades younger than me. All I knew at that moment was that this girl was mine and the great lord had given her to me
The rain stopped but we continued in on our path to Eden. It was a delight as nightfall came and the stars begin glittering in the sky as the monsoon had gone. In the clear sky with no rain and monsoon, I carried Sally onto the soft earth for one last fling like the last post sounding the retreat.
We returned late at night and next day when I was in the office I received a cable from the head office at Geneva calling Sally back. I was loathed to let her go but after a last farewell lingering kiss, she left. I was left wondering at this tryst of destiny in the jungles and the mountains of the Ghats and I thought what could be the result.
Hand of the Lord
Sally soon resigned from her job and left for America. She rang me up before leaving and said she was going away to America but she said something which will remain in my memory forever. She wrote to me saying" I am caring something which is a gift of the Lord". I wondered what she meant and try to take Sally out of my mind after another 2 months Shirley sent me an email in which told me that the gift which I have given was the gift of the Lord himself.
She said she believed Lord Krishna and she further strengthens by the fact that very soon in the months to come she would carry my gift into the world. The story must end here because what happened after that would sound more like an anti -climax. I learnt Sally was married, a fact she never told me. She was also childless for 4 years. I am convinced that when Lord Krishna says "not a leaf moves without my will" is nothing but true.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Friends are the family that we choose.
Introduction
True friendship is priceless. Real friends are like the priceless treasures. They are as good as a family. The way our family worries about us, loves us and rides along with us in the journey of life, our real friends do the same. They are no different than our family. Fake friendship may end within no time but real friendship will last for ages. Real friends will live by our side throughout our lives and die with us if the situation demands. We do not choose our family but we do choose our friends and real friends are no less than a loving and caring family. A bond binds two strangers together and this bond itself is friendship. Our friends are as good as pillars on our porch. It is always nice to know that someone is standing by us no matter what circumstances arrive in front of us. They will be with us during our highs and lows. They will sometime hold us and sometimes lean on us.
Real friends make the journey easy
Friends make the day when skies are gray. Family members stand by us and are always there to support us. Real friends do the same thing. They in no way can fall behind the family. They understand us, make us laugh when we are sad, lend us support when we are weak and make our journey of life easy and joyful. Journey definitely will seem easy because we know if we bump a road and face turbulence in the way, there will be someone beside us to hold us and support us. They always have our back even when nobody else does. They always have good things to say about us even behind our back. They are just not our acquaintances. We know that we can depend on them. We need not ask them for a favor because even before asking them for anything, they will fulfill our needs, especially in desperate times.
Friendship is a strong bond
Friendship takes birth when we see a like-minded person traveling beside us. Instead of being alone, we prefer the company. Real friends neither lead us nor remain behind us. They walk along. It is difficult to find a friend in the family, but friends in no time become our family. They know everything about us but still loves us and this unconditional love itself is a real friendship. What more can we expect from life, if we have found a friend who is real as a gem? This friend itself will make our life ideal. We will feel safe and comfortable in their company. We can make hundreds of friends every day and still not find that real friendship until and unless we meet that special one who within no time will bond with us in such a manner that we would never break the bond with him throughout our lives.
Friends heal us
We bond very deeply with our chosen friends because they share our pain. They heal our wounds and provide warmth to our heart. Their tenderness is real and not judgmental. They do not stand beside us just to give advice and provide a solution. A real friend is the only one who can tolerate our lack of knowledge and foolishness. They are okay with our not healing because this is what they do with their tender hands. They are always present with us whether we are confused or acting smart enough. We treasure each moment with them and cannot imagine our life in their absence. Friends make survival easy, rather they provide value to survival.
Real friends are as good as our family
Friends are like glue. They hold each other very nicely. Friendship is a powerful stuff. It connects two souls and their faith together. Only a true friend can protect us from our immortal enemies. Our real friends represent a family we have chosen for ourselves. We then start feeling that our family is complete. Before their arrival, it was incomplete. Their unison with us represents a new world is born. Real friends become incredibly close to us. They become much more than just our friends. They become our family. This is our second family and special mention here is that we have chosen this family for us, unlike the previous family where we had no power to choose. The family does not have to be blood. If we love people and feel safe when they embrace us then we know that they are our family. The family does not only refer to a social unit comprising of parents and children. It does not just include blood relatives. Real friends are our family because they do anything and everything for us. This new family can be chosen by us. We will get to choose those shoulders where we can shed a tear. We get to choose those people who will be there with us in both our good and bad times. We can talk to them anytime and they will listen to us every time. Our life is like a garden and friends are like flowers in it. Imagine a garden without flowers. How incomplete it may appear. We sow a seed of trust in the garden. Daily take care of it and nurture it. Finally, we get the flowers of love and loyalty.
Real friends are very important
Our real friends become an important part of our life, so important that we would find our life incomplete in their absence. Each moment we share with them is important, so important that even when they are at distance from us, we treasure them in our memories. We treasure them in tears, we treasure them in our joy. They are guides to our rickety boats. They are our life's sailors. Without them, we feel like we are going to get down in waters. We unfold ourselves in front of our family because they listen to us. In the same manner, a real friend too will listen to us. This is the reason that we feel like sharing our emotions in front of them. Since they listen to us, we move towards them.
Real friends are difficult to find
It is just good luck if we find good friends in life but if we find even a single real friend then we are more than lucky. Friends are easy to find but that friend who seems like a family to us, who seems like the whole world to us is rather difficult to find. We never try to change our real friends. We accept them the way they are and we bond with them. Same goes for them. They take us just for who we are. We do not try to mold them in any way so that they can fit our image. This kind of act is not the basis of true friendship. If we do not accept them for who they are and are only attracted to them because they potentially like us then it is not a friendship. We are just watching a reflection of our own image in them. Our sense makes sense to the world but a real friend is one to whom even our nonsense makes too much sense. Even our nonsense will seem to be adorable to our friends and will be respected.
Conclusion
Finding a real friend who very soon will be as good as our family is the spiritual experience. We meet someone, bond with them and believe in them. Soon, the bond of trust and loyalty increases day by day. It is we who chose them. It is not just an outstretched hand which we seek for the joy of companionship. It is the hand which we hold for a lifetime. It is all about a discovery and this discovery will be of a lifetime. When life brings joy, we share with them and it doubles. When life sucks, they suck out the pain from our lives, providing us relief. We share and feel happy and the feeling is mutual. There will be respect and trust for each other and these itself form a strong basis for lifelong friendship. We are ready to live for them and die for them and they too feel the same. We may not start our journey but definitely, end it with our new found family because they will be there even at the end. Holding their hands is like holding something which completes us and makes us alive.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Why life seems so hard.
Introduction
We all are well aware of the fact that life is very hard. It is not very smooth and if it was then it could help us to move at the steady pace throughout the journey. It is full of hurdles which make us fall. We fall, we bump into them, we get hurt, we then rise and start our journey forward. This is what life is all about. Life is not a bed of roses. Though it is difficult but not impossible. On daily basis, we see so many bad things taking place in the world. There is a rise in crimes of all sorts such as terrorism, rape, poverty, racism, slavery etc. However, we are stuck in our own lives and even though somewhere is subconscious minds we know that life is hard out there but we rarely try to convince about it to ourselves. We only wake up when our near and dear ones get affected i.e., either hospitalized, abducted, terrorized etc. After few days, we again sink back into our daily routine, until another incident takes place. Repeated incidents in our lives or in lives of those around us make us feel that it is very hard and something is really wrong. We feel that life isn't fair because it was not supposed to happen this way.
Hard days are very difficult
Life is just the way it is. We ourselves have made it so difficult. We had asked for it and now we do not want to accept it. Right now, we are in a "battle of the wills". We have our own wills and our life is the outcome of our wills. There is no denying in it. We all have forced these hard days or even hard years on us where things are not turning out the way we want to. Everything seems difficult. We feel as if we are in a deep hole and cannot find a way out. We cannot see any door open. We cannot find a hand to help us out. We even cannot see a thin stream of light in the darkness. We all have faced different levels of difficulties and hard times in our lives. It can be rejections, heartbreaks, setbacks, stress, poverty, disappointments, sadness etc. During tough times nothing seems right and everyone around us seems to just disappear. Everything feels out of whack and nothing seems working. Since we cannot get our act together, we feel unaccomplished tasks are ruining us. This soon starts feeling as if the most challenging phases of our lives have begun.
Comparision with others
Most of us feel that our life is more difficult than others. Grass seems greener on the other side and thus we feel that others aren't as sad as we are and have not faced as many difficulties in their lives as much as we are facing. In short words, their journey seems quite easy and smooth to us when we compare it with ours. We feel that we have bumped into more obstacles and have faced more headwinds than others. This results in bitterness. We never care about tailwinds which helped us. As a consequence, we remain ungrateful and ever unhappy because we never look at bright side. Darkness will always make us unhappy. Others too have problems. In fact, others may be facing more difficulties than we do. The comparison itself is wrong. We should not compare ourselves with others. They have their own journeys to cover and we have our own. In this way, we will be able to concentrate on ours. We don't know their stories and we do not know how much they had to endure to reach the spot where they are right now. Thus, there is no point in judging them or comparing our lives with theirs. The focus should be only on our lives. When we compare ourselves with lives of those who have faced much more hardships than we have then we will realize how life has been grateful to us and soon we will start honoring and respecting it. We will feel grateful for everything we possess and for everything we are blessed for. To understand what real misery is then one has to compare oneself with less fortunate. Only then, it will become an eye-opener and we will start taking our lives seriously.
Keep patience
Life is a very exciting journey. There will be good times, bad times, challenges, and excitement. It is more like a roller coaster where sometimes we are above and other times, we are down. If we want then we can come back at the top again. Patience is essential. If we make a big deal out of it that we are pushed below and do not have a faith that we can be at the top again then this kind of impatience can only bring sadness. We just need to keep going. If we quit then we can never become winners. We just need to move with the flow. We will exactly reach where we are supposed to reach. Things which come to us very easily are not of real worth. Those which we earn with our sheer hard work and determination seem valuable.
Develop positive approach
We ourselves make our lives difficult. The way we approach our life will actually decide whether we make it easy or difficult. If our approach is negative then definitely it is going to seem us very difficult. Life is precious i.e., very valuable to us. How can we expect it to be easy? Anything that has a worth cannot be achieved easily. Imagine living without any difficulties. It is like swimming in shallow waters where we can see the bright lights easily and save ourselves from bumping into hard obstacles and other creatures. Fun is in to dive deep i.e., to swim in deep at the bottom of the ocean. Fun is in to resolve the mysteries of the sea. No doubt, we are going to bump obstacles along the way and swimming will seem very difficult there as well as there will be no sunlight. But we will get to enjoy the whole experience. We will get to witness magic floor of the ocean. We cannot know true happiness unless we come across sadness. Yes, life is hard and difficult. But it will pass. This is what we need to keep assuring to ourselves. Life is hard for everyone. Each one of us has to face hardships at one or the other times. The need of the hour is to keep patience and have belief. Our belief itself is the one that will keep us alive and keep us going even in difficult times and on difficult, tricky roads. We feel that life is difficult and hard because we feel trapped in failures and rejections. We get tired during difficult times and start feeling that nothing can make us feel alive or amuse us anymore. This is when we feel that we have lost purpose in life. We feel that we are worthless and our life is worthless. Failures lead to anxiety and we consider ourselves as losers.
Life has a meaning
We all have a purpose in life. There is no need to give up no matter how difficult life exhibits challenges in front of us. We all are created to live and inspire others. There is a reason behind everything. Our life cannot be worthless. We exert ourselves with too many responsibilities and give ourselves too little time. This is not going to work. We need to keep patience and find passion. Our passion will help us to find purpose in life and patience will keep us going, no matter how difficult life is. Just change the perspective. look at life from the different point of view and the whole life will seem different. Just a thought will wipe away all the difficulties life imposed on us and we will start exploring all the doorways which will take us further in our journey. See the good in the bad and wait patiently because definitely, something good approaches us when we keep patience and positive attitude.
Life evolves us
Life is so hard so that we can evolve as an individual. At the beginning of our journey we will be an altogether very different people but as the journey continues, we get to experience so much. Our enormous growth takes place and at the destination when we reach, we become completely evolved. Hard times are not meant to complain. They are meant for our evolution. We need to endure everything. We just need to ride it and go with the flow. Infiltration of challenges at every step makes life difficult. Challenges on outside i.e., external challenges are the situations which we face or circumstances which we experience. Internal challenges are our own creations. We set goals and when we fail to achieve them, we get disappointed. It is alright to set goals but then goals have to be realistic. Even if they are not, it is okay. But then, when we embrace disappointments in life, we create some more difficulties in our lives. This is what internal challenges is all about. We have no control over external challenges and thus need to face them more often in life, but internal challenges rather can be avoided to make life easy. This is the reason that we should not make our lives more difficult by creating internal challenges.
We make life hard
We need to get our psychological needs fulfilled. This today seems very difficult. We are frustrated with our drive for competition. We compare ourselves to others and wish to outshine everyone. We wish to possess qualities that nobody possesses. However, this is quite impossible because it either requires a unique talent or we need to explore a niche that is so narrow that others do not have. We also want to feel free. We have our values and want to live with them without ever judged by people or society. Every day we come across so many people and all of them have their respective set of values. It is up to us that how well we can cope up with the differences while living along with everyone. When life was simpler, bonds were stronger. Today, however, bonds are so fragile and weak that it almost frustrates us. Today life has become way complicated than it was a few decades back. We say life is hard or life is difficult and by this, we mean that it is posing a difficulty in our living. However, we do not understand that it is our life. We are living it i.e., we are making it difficult. If we wish to make it simpler, we can make it. If we wish to make it hard and complicated, we can make it. It is we who are making it what it is and it is not posing anything on us because it is we who are possessed of power. We feel that life is quite hard to live. Life is neither hard nor difficult. Life is not doing anything wrong to us. It is a feeling which we have created that is making us feel that life is very cruel and hard.
Selfishness makes life difficult
It is very difficult to get along with others. We all have our different sorts of interests. We all have different opinions, viewpoints which may match with some whereas collide with others. Individuals with whom our viewpoints match, we form groups with them. Our dominance hierarchies emerge and we have today evolved so much that we try to rise above by bringing other groups down by stepping on their backs. This is how we work in groups and this evolved nature of ours definitely bring hardships in life because life is not about dominating or letting others dominate. Life is about living in harmony. Life is also not about forming groups, but about maintaining togetherness among everyone. Being selfish is a wrong quality to adopt in life. This was taught to us right from our childhood. However, we have adopted it and is adopted by everyone who still exists. Survival of fittest isn't possible if an organism isn't selfish and our existence itself is an evidence of our selfish nature. our ancestors passed the test of natural selection. This consequently resulted in their survival and reproduction. All the survival adaptations are a selfish approach to life. We too have many such qualities which help us to benefit us. In one way, it helps existence but with a splash of selfishness. This is what makes life hard because we have selfishness within us and in everyone around us whom we see surviving.
Negative emotions bring difficulty in life
Emotions that which are deep-rooted in us make life hard. They are good as well as bad. Good because we get to express them. Bad because they drain so much energy out of us. No one likes to feel anxious because it drains out so much valuable energy of ours and make us feel restless, taking away all the calmness. However, anxiety is adaptive. Anxiety itself helps us to keep ourselves away from danger. Since we know putting ourselves in so and so the situation may risk our lives, we keep ourselves away from it which definitely means safety. This had been practiced even by our ancestors and these deep-rooted negative emotions helped in evolution. Though these negative emotions are good for evolution they also make life hard.
Hypocrite nature
We all are hypocrites and this fact too makes life hard and difficult. At one or the other point in our life, we experience this kind of inconsistency because our brain is filled with multiple things which collide or become inconsistent with other things which are rooting there and this is a fact. We all say one thing and just perform something else and such people are called as hypocrites. However, this is our tendency and we cannot simply help it. We cannot always practice what we preach and thus we all become hypocrites.
Focus makes life easy
We find everything in our life easy when we completely focus on it. When we focus all our attention on the things which we are pretty good at then everything becomes easy in life. When we are not good at something, we find it difficult to focus our attention on it. We find life difficult because we are finding difficulties in attending it. Some phase of our life is good because everything that we ever carried out in that phase was done religiously by paying complete attention to it because we were good at it. Some phase of our life seems hard because the situations or tasks which we were meant to deal with were very difficult for us and thus we could not focus on them. We can either attend, avoid or obsess what is put in front of us. Attention is very easy because it does not require any curious efforts from our side. It seems easy like breathing. The difficulty arises when we avoid. When we serve difficulty, we start avoiding it. It is not true that we avoid something because it is difficult. We avoid because we sense difficulty "in here". Once we start avoiding, our mind gets programmed. Too much attention will result in obsessing. Here our whole attention is robbed from other walks of lives. We over-focus on one thing and start avoiding other things and this makes life very hard. To make life easy, focus or attention is very important. The more we avoid or the more we obsess, the more "will" will fall apart and make our life difficult and hard.
Develop ease inside the mind
Our life is not hard as it seems. Our perception makes it look very hard. Each new day in our life brings new light and ray of hope. It is up to us to take that hope or just leave it. We can spend rest of our lives complaining about how difficult our life is or else can stop that and appreciate it. We are what we think. Our life is just how we wanted it to be. it's all in our mind. If we generate ease in our mind then outside too, it seems pretty easy. Survival is not guaranteed. Only survival of fittest is possible. Sice this struggle is never-ending, our every day seems like a struggle. Thus life seems pretty hard. There is competition everywhere and in almost all walks of lives. There is greed inside us and we vigorously want to compete and win because we need those resources pretty badly. When greed is in there then how come other negative qualities stay behind and thus hate, jealousy, lyes, all follow. As a result, there is an increase in all sorts of crimes like corruption, murder, abduction, rape, assault etc.
Conclusion
Acceptance is the key. Just accept that circumstances on the outside are difficult which are making our lives difficult. Once we accept it, we will find solutions for it. We cannot keep complaining. We now will become ready to solve the puzzles as they approach us. Discipline is essential and it helps us to work on our problems. If a game is easy then no one would like to play it. Each level increases difficulty and thus we find it interesting when we solve the puzzles and win the games. When a certain phase of our life seems very difficult to us, it gets recorded in our memory very deeply. Our life is a mere reflection of our thoughts. It is what we want it to be. We start believing deeply what we have been looking at for a prolonged period of time. If we find someone annoying and irritating then we will feel the same vibe from him every time we meet him because somewhere in our subconscious mind, we have recorded the whole episode of irritation in our memory. If we think life is hard, it surely will seem hard. If we feel it is easy and smooth, it will appear to be smooth and easy. It is in our minds.Think of life as a happy and joyful journey and we will start taking it in the same manner. This is more like programming of the subconscious mind. Slowly we will start believing deep inside that life is easy without making any conscious efforts. Proper conditioning of mind is essential because our belief systems should be right. If any of our belief systems are creating turbulence in our life then we need to replace it with right one. Life is not at all hard. Instead, we are making it hard. We need to keep patience and faith. This faith itself will help even the most difficult times to pass away and good times once again will come back in our lives. Just keep the faith that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Life may not be making any sense, but just keep faith and trust in everything.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Resolve inner conflict.
Introduction
Conflict is a disagreement or unresolved issue between two people, two groups or even two countries. Until and unless the conflict is resolved, the issue remains unsolved. Reason for conflict to take place is some kind of disagreement on any particular issue. Disagreement is due to our belief system. Since our belief system and the other person's belief system clash, conflict takes place. Our thoughts, viewpoints, opinions are also different from others and this will all lead to disagreement or conflict. Thus, conflict is an internal issue. We feel that conflict is outside, however, this is not true. Until and unless inner self is treated properly and all the questions inside are answered, inner conflict does not resolve. Until and unless conflict in inner self-does not get resolved, how can we even think of resolving the same thing in the external world?
The conflict inside disturbs sleep
Every day when we wake up in the morning, we feel tired. Even though we have slept for adequate hours, but still feel the necessity to sleep for few more minutes. This is because our body might have healed and taken sufficient rest, but our mind was still working throughout the night. It was still creating thoughts, not necessarily at that level which it creates while we are awake, but still, it was working and thus no rest was provided to it. Thus, when we wake up in the morning, we find the necessity to sleep for some more time, in order to rest our unrest mind because this sort of demand is created by the mind and not the body. On daily basis, we encounter so many people. With some, we may agree. With others, we don't i.e., clash one or the other issue with them leads to creating conflict. We may develop anger, irritation, frustration, negative thoughts towards them and towards their attitudes. It is not necessary that we may talk to them about these particular issues. Most of the time, we do not even convey our feelings to them regarding their behavior or attitude which is bothering us. Whether we convey or conceal, in both the situations, we have created conflict with them. Deep in our minds, we have made an issue regarding the conflict we have with others. Every night before going to bed, if we solve these issues then these things do not develop into something huge. If not solved then this becomes the reason for our internal conflict and internal restlessness which make our mind tired even after getting adequate hours of sleep.
Resolve the conflict as soon as possible
Thousands of thoughts and mostly negative and useless ones which we create throughout the day suck out the potential energy out of us and make our mind feel tired and restless. To free the mind from everything and to put it at rest, all we have to do is to answer the unanswered questions bothering it, if possible, immediately as soon as the question lingers the mind. If prompt answers cannot be given then at least at the end of the night just before going to bed, answer the issues so that mind becomes free and relaxed the way body relaxes. Every night before going to bed make it a habit to resolve our internal conflict then not only we will be doing good to ourselves but also to others with whom we get involved in the conflict. Our indifference with someone will bother us throughout the day. If possible, we have to try to relax our mind then and there itself, as soon as the thought of indifference bothers us. Thereby we will be saving so much of our valuable energy. If not possible, at least at the end of the day, we need to think and analyze the whole issue and calm ourselves. Soon we will find that impulses which we created were for no good reasons.
Acceptance is the key here
Everyone around us is different and has the right to think and live the way they feel. We have no right to get in a conflict with them because they have an opinion or way of a living a lifestyle which is completely different from ours. The way we have a right to live, in the same way, they too have a right to decide what they want. This type of thinking is known as acceptance. Until and unless, there is an acceptance, respect does not follow. We do not understand that when we are unaccepting someone, we are disrespecting them. Accepting does not mean that we have to agree with them. Accepting means that though there is disagreement, what others are doing is as per their point of view and this should not bother us in any way. No matter how different others are from us, we need to accept them and respect them for just who they are. Power of acceptance is huge. In the first place, it does not allow differences to come into the picture. When differences do not appear, disagreements leading to arguments and conflicts do not appear. The mind is at rest because it has not created any internal conflict. When internal conflict does not get created, external conflict i.e., the conflict between two people never takes place. Disagreements can be immediately resolved with powerful conversations within minutes seeking solutions.
Conflict in internal
We often meet people and create conflicts in outer world which bother our mind and make it restless. We lay others responsible for not letting us enjoy peace and calmness and thereby we start facing turbulence. However, this is not true. Restlessness travels from inside to outside. It is mind who first creates conflict as soon as it senses an indifference. This conflict then is shown in the form of anger, stress, tension, irritation, frustration, restlessness, getting into a fight with opponents, showing violent behaviors etc. Our mind creates conflict as soon as indifference appears because this is how we have conditioned it. What it thinks and how we behave are all outcomes of our conditioning. We feel that we are always right and others who think differently from us or behave differently are wrong. This creates conflict. Changing the belief systems and proper conditioning will do the trick in bringing back the mind to rest at peace.
Conclusion
Conflict is created internally in mind and then is reflected outside. Thus, in order to resolve an issue, we need to answer all the questions put up by our mind. Once the questions are answered well, internal conflict is resolved and the issue which we have with others in the outer world gets solved automatically. If the internal conflict is not solved, we will be creating a too much bad effect on the mind because it will keep thinking about the unresolved issue or unsolved matter. Too much stress and tension will linger mind and too much turbulence can be seen in our relationships with others. If we want to keep ourselves at peace and keep our mind in a deeply relaxed state then we need to put efforts in keeping our mind at rest and solve all the internal conflicts as soon as possible to make life easy, simple and free of troubles.
7 years ago
Maneka created new article Should you really spend money decorating a rented house ??.
Let me begin by telling you why I chose this topic. I've been living in a rented house since the last four years and have moved houses twice. How often has it happened that you are looking for an "ideal" apartment, you then go on to find it and you love everything about it but hate the choice of interiors, the colour scheme and the existing furniture !!??!! Apart from the big mayhem shifting houses causes, the more important question remains how much do we invest in our new rented apartment ?
My husband had been living alone in a cute little flat before we got married and so when I moved in, though the house was beautiful and cozy, it completely lacked storage options. So we decided to get some custom made wood work done in the house which took almost around three months of our time, peace and money. Eventually things turned out just the way we wanted and a month after that we were told by our landlord that would want us to vacate the house !!! So, all the money, effort and customisation flew out of the window and we now had the new job of finding a new house !!!
As luck would have it, we soon found the house of our choice. This house came with lovely sunlight and beautiful views of the sea form all sides, but the downside was that this was an old construction and not "plush", with some colonial style sofa's already there. We decided to not do much about it and moved in. A few months down the line we realised that the house wasn't making us feel "at home" and the reason was that there was nothing in the house that was personalised or to our taste.
Looking at our past experience, we din't really want to spend any money on this house but neither did we want to come to a house which we dint feel like ours.
What does your house mean to you and others ?
Your house is the place you go to at the end of a chaotic day. It's your haven, your sacred space where you enjoy your solitude, your joys, your family and friends. Your house is the one place which lets you exist without pretension.
So, Is spending money on a rented house worth it ?
They say your house defines you. What this really means is that when someone walks into your house, they immediately get a sense of who you are, what your personal sense of style is and so your house literally is an extension of your personality, It speaks volumes about how you like to live your life,
Everyone in their house has a special place picked out for unwinding themselves, be it the couch in front of the television, your reading desk, your comfortable bed or for some it may be their balcony. Small changes that you make to a rented apartment will help you create the comfortable nook/spot for yourself that will give you the much needed peace of mind and happiness.
Be smart about how you spend !
The key is to entail small expenditures on things that are movable and can be carried with you when you shift again.
Avoid spending on
You should not undertake major structural changes like changing the length and width of your windows incase you choose a house with small windows.
Changing the flooring is totally avoidable - It's an extremely cumbersome and tedious project and not to forget, an expensive one too !
Do not invest in getting customised woodwork done in your rented house to solve for storage issues. The things you get made might not be movable or size appropriate for your next base.
Do not undertake changing the tiles of your bathroom. The plumbing work might go haywire while attempting changes and you might land up doing things much bigger and heavier on the pocket than you anticipated.
Instead, Invest in
Installing pelmets that extend beyond the width of your windows on either side. This gives you the chance to place curtains farther apart and gives the illusion of a larger window.
Put up wooden/glass shelves/niches easily available online in the living room and kitchen to create storage spaces. Utility boxes/ laundry baskets are a good addition to solve storage issues in the kitchen and bathrooms.
If you are stuck with an ugly sofa or a sofa that doesn't match your taste, invest in putting up vibrant cushions and curtains in your living room to give a touch of your personal taste and style.
Addition of flower arrangements (fresh/artificial) and statement decoration pieces to your centre/side tables adds colour and dimension to your space. Terrariums are a huge rage these days. They are easy to maintain (need to be watered only once a week) and a nicely made terrarium often becomes a conversation starter.
Add art to various walls. You can choose a different theme for all your rooms.
Place some pretty candles in your not-so-nice looking spaces, the decorative candles attract attention and takes off the attention from a wall with seepage !!
So, what I'm saying is
Small changes make a big difference ! Spend money wisely, invest in things which you can move and take with you when you shift houses again. adding artwork, linen, upholstery of your choice adds dimension, colour and character to your house without burning a hole in your pocket.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Tough times never last, but tough people do.
Introduction
Life is a journey and in this journey, we need to face everything that comes along our way. Our life will not be a bed of roses and thus it is pretty sure that sometimes it will be smooth, hurdle free and rest of the times, we need to go on a bumpy ride which will be full of hurdles. This bumpy ride will be tough to cross as it tries to disbalance us. Within a short time, we will start having second thoughts and doubts about ourselves as we start doubting our abilities that whether we will be able to carry out our journey forward. It is but obvious that when the journey is easy and comfortable, we don't feel a thing while on it but when the same gets tough, it seems very long and disturbs us completely. It is a test of our patience and will. If we are tough then no matter how difficult our journey is, we will last it, but if we are weak then within no time, we will bow down in front of it and give up everything we have.
Tough times help in learning
Difficulties which we face in our lives are nothing but tough times and during these tough times, we need to make tough choices and make tough decisions. We can neither escape from difficult time nor can we save ourselves from making choices. We have to face what we have to face and we need to make choices in our lives no matter how easy or hard it might seem. If we run away then we are not solving anything and also not able to learn anything from the prevailing circumstances. if we are bravely dealing with them then life becomes easy because it helps our learning process. We get to learn so much when we start dealing with whatever is coming our way. Our decision might be right or wrong, it does not matter. The thing that matters is that we are able to make decisions which will instill in us lots of confidence as we have decided to fight instead of taking flight mode. If our decision proved to be right then we will benefit from it. If it turned out to be wrong then there is no point in getting disheartened as there are tons of things which we can learn from our own mistakes and next time when we come across obstacles, we will be able to tackle them in an efficient way. This, in turn, will help us to increase our toughness. The more and more our toughness increases, more and more it will benefit us and this, in turn, will not allow tough times to last for a very long duration.
Characteristics of tough people
Tough people are optimistic i.e., they always think positive, irrespective of what sort of circumstances they are facing. Situations may be positive or negative but they do not lose hope. They just think about how to positively deal with the whole situation by remaining patient and maintaining calm. They do not lose faith in anything and this kind of attitude has lots of power when compared to negative thinking. They put their hope in a Higher power. This kind of union will help them to take right decisions and they will seek solutions which will be apt for that circumstance. They have an immense internal strength which will help them to find best in every day and best in everything they do. This kind of thinking and attitude is what differentiates them from others and make them tough. They too face many ups and downs in their lives but they have this ability to find best in everything and it will make their journey easy when compared with others.
Positive thoughts increase toughness
Thoughts are very empowering and each thought creates destiny. If we create a thought that we are tough then we will become tough but if we feel that we are weak and not able to deal with the tough situation then even after having a solution in front of us, we will fall short for everything. Such is the power of our thoughts and they can either help us move forward or drag us behind in our journey. It is our choice to create good quality thoughts. It is we who can decide whether we have to create positive, inspiring thoughts or negative, depressing ones. We are the ones who will decide our destiny. When tough times approach us, either we can opt to rise above all the adversity or dive deep down in our misfortune. We can keep on complaining about the tough time that has to strike us but it will be a mere waste of time and will not do any good to us. Positive thinking is the key factor here to become tough and this sort of positive attitude itself will help us feel better in the long run.
A positive attitude is a key to become tough
When we are approached with a tough time, we need to yell at it "I can do this". Though we may or may not be successful in our attempts, it kind of instills confidence in us. Believing does not mean that adversity will open doorways for us but this belief will give us the strength to face adversity and that is what most important. Trying is important and we are never going to learn if we do not try at all. All we have to do here is to name or list our troubles. When we name it, we name our possibilities. Problems that we face or tough times which we encounter can be related to anything. It may be regarding poor performance in exam or career, unemployment, poverty, marriage, loneliness etc. Once we state it and make up our mind to go through it then definitely we will find a way to overcome our tough time and all this is possible only if we are tough from inside. Our tough time which is blocking our success can only be overcome with our strength and positive attitude. Toughness can turn even a negative situation into a positive one. Irrespective of how tough the time we are facing, we can still fight against it and achieve best out of everything and best from life.
Tough times teach life lessons
When we start dealing with challenges on an everyday basis, we are in turn training ourselves to deal with them in an effective way and also increasing our inner strength. Our strength and toughness increase with each victory. We not only learn to deal with the outer world but also learn so much about ourselves. Tough times are the real times where real people get identified. These are the times when we get to know the real us as well as understand other's real identities. A person who does not want to face tough times and rather runs away from it and gets scared actually does so because he lacks internal strength and is rather weak internally. One who is strong enough to deal with tough times will go a long way and thereby success is certain. Tough times help us to identify ourselves. In the same way, it also teaches us so much about the external world, about the people around us. We then will be able to identify who our real friends are, who will always love us dearly and who will be always on our side, irrespective of whether we are dwelling in dark time or wandering in bright lights.
Focus on goals
We carry our dreams like our backpacks and our goals are our destinations. If we lose our hope in midway itself then that backpack is never going to get open. We need to make it through the whole way. Only when we reach our destination, we will be able to open it and then we will be able to see what it holds for us. If we give up in the middle then it will remain sealed forever and we will never know what it held. We should promise ourselves to keep moving further and to dig deeper because treasure cannot be found on the ground. Treasure is always hidden beneath deeper layers of ground and to uncover that treasure, we should be ready to dig deep. We can neither let digging come to us as an obstacle nor allow it to give us a tough time.
Do not give up during tough times
Tough times do not last forever. Does season stay the same throughout the year? Perhaps, the answer is no. The way season changes, our tough times do change into good times. Sun emerges from the clouds and the pleasant sunshine takes away all the sorrows. Similarly, we too will definitely come across silver lining and there is no need for us to be scared of tough times. We need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps because this is what tough people do in their tough times. We need to be tough and strong and keep on struggling against tough times. We cannot lose to it, in fact, it has to give up the fight because we do not know how to lose. We have to finish what we have started. When tough times arrive, most of us lose our strength and stop in midway. We have to persist hard enough. We need to build that burning desire within ourselves which does not know to give up or lose.
Tough people defeat tough times
We are not tough in tough situations because we do not make our path as our definite major purpose in life and thus intend to cross it, no matter what happens. We do not make that extra effort and travel those extra miles because we do not take any personal initiative to make our journey successful. We are not tough because we lack confidence, discipline, and self-control. These values make us go that extra mile and help us deal with tough time. These tough times test our patience. Successful people are the ones who are determined as well as patient and therefore keep moving even in tough times because they know that tough time is not going to last long. Tough people keep hanging on while others just let go and thus it is said that never giving up is the key to achieve success. Persistence is nothing but a quality of tough people in front of whom tough time does not last for very long. It is their capability to hang on, irrespective of how tough the circumstances are presented in front of them. No matter how many times they taste the failures and defeats, still their ability to keep going and never quitting is what differentiates from the rest others and helps them achieve success. No matter how much pain an individual needs to face, he should take all the necessary steps to reach his goal. Endurance and toughness come only to that individual who goes on resolutely, even in dark and tough times.
Awaken the internal powers
To tackle tough times, the doubt should be kept aside. One who doubts one's ability does not have strength and confidence. Firmness to cling or hold on tight is essential and only that individual can do so who never gives up or surrenders in front of tough times. Only stubbornly tough people can last in front of tough times and can even remain steady after it has passed. We often doubt our ability but we need to trust that we have in ourselves that inbuilt potential which we always doubted. These powers which were concealed from us actually dwells within us and are ready to come out, if allowed. Once they come out, they astonish us as well as others. We need to make use of these powers and turn them into actions which will bring revolution. These powers remain usually underdeveloped as we do not use them. All we need to do is to realize their importance as well as develop these powers so that we can face the toughest of the obstacles and toughest of the times.We all face tough times not once but so many times in our lives and problems almost on daily basis. Tough times need patience and toughness which will guarantee a solution. If we confront tough time with courage and toughness then it cannot last long but if we do not take any actions then we will not last long in front of it.
Tough times increase toughness
It is good for our own's sake that we find goodness in everything. Hence we have to find something good hidden in our tough times too. We have to just look for that hidden goodness in it. For example, only tough times will help us identify our real, good friends. We value health only when sickness strikes us. Only that person who is trapped in the cage can value freedom. Only when trouble arrives, we learn to become bold. When harshness and pain strike us, we learn to become kind and tender. Tough times when arrive teach us a lot and we if face it with toughness then we are breaking our shell of tenderness and learning to live in the open. If we choose to strike back when tough times arrive, only then we will be able to become tough. Easy, smooth life does not make us strong and tough but tough times does. It increases our ability to last long. It will teach us to never quit, run away but endure.
Conclusion
No one can escape from tough times. Everyone has to face it sooner or later at one point or the other in our lives. However, it is like a season. It arrives and it passes. Tough times do not last long if we choose to stand in front of it. Strong will of ours can fight with any adversity in our life. All we have to do is create a firm determination similar to that of bull-dog as well as instill within us that burning desire. This will eventually do not allow tough times to last in front of us. Sucess does not refer to just achieving something. It is mainly measured by the courage and toughness with which individual has overcome his opposition. If there was no opposition then winning is not a big thing. Fighting with strong opposition as well as overcoming all the odds is important. This struggle itself will be applauded. Higher and higher levels we reach, more problem arises and our problems only end with us. Thus, let us not wish to face an easy life which is free from hurdles but a life irrespective of whether it is easy or tough which we can handle with our toughness.
7 years ago
Maneka created new article Definite To-do's in Australia in 6 days .
If you have only 6 days to cover Australia, let me tell you - it is practically impossible ! Australia is the sixth largest country by land area and 6 days does not to justice to the magnificent destination. However, there are a few places that you must and can cover in a short trip.
Sydney
One of the largest cities in Australia in the state of New South Wales, Sydney is the hub of art and culture will leave you exhausted with all it's hustle and bustle. Though Australia boasts of natural wonders like the The Great Barrier Reef, it is also extremely urbanised and Sydney is the perfect example of an uber urbanised city.
Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House
These two iconic structures define Sydney. The Harbour bridge is a marvellous structure running through the Sydney harbour. There are a lot of ways to explore the harbour bridge, the most common ones being walking under the bridge and climbing the bridge. You can also cycle or drive by on the bridge. The bridge climb is a popular tourist activity and takes approximately three and a half hours. Bridge climb is done in groups and all individuals are made to wear protective gear for safety. A picture clicked on top of the bridge is for keeps.
The Sydney Opera House is a modern, innovative architectural structure which hosts a number of performing artists. I got to see the Opera house for the first time on a full moon night and what a breath taking sight it was !! Apart from being a centre for performing arts it is also a very active nightlife spot. You can go for nice cocktails by the harbour with this beautiful structure right behind you and a view of the harbour bridge.
The Great Barrier Reef
It is the world's largest coral reef system located off the coast of Queensland, Australia. You can easily take a flight from Sydney to Cairns to see this UNESCO World Heritage Site. I got the chance to tick The Great Barrier Reef off my bucket list in November 2015.
Ways to explore The Great Barrier Reef
Chopper - You can take a chopper and fly over the beautiful reef. There are very high chances of you spotting a turtle while sitting in the helicopter, that's how clear the water is !!
Snorkel/ Dive - You can also go to the wharf and book yourself for a snorkelling trip which would typically last for 4-6 hours. You are taken on a boat, made to wear a diving suit and gear and dropped off at an island from where you either snorkel or dive your way into the naturally vivid world of corals. You don't need to know swimming in order to snorkel, the instructors there are excellent at teaching you the basics of snorkelling.
Glass bottom boat - If the idea of going under water unsettles you, you can event sit on a glass bottom boat and see the corals without venturing into the water.
I got back beautiful memories from Australia inspite of it being a short 6 day trip. Hope the trip you take turns out to be equally memorable.
7 years ago
Deependra Tiwari created new article HUMANITY IN WARFARE.
forming supra-national organizations, inking treaties or deepening diplomatic ties are a few ways generally suggested to a global pacifist as the means of utter headway.On the contrary, mutual respect interlaced with proximal understanding into one , among the nations , lie at the heart of global peace and development as asserted by realised souls such as Sri Aurobindo.
Much like the acrimonious Cold - War spanning 46 years in the international history , the contemporary hegemony of the developed countries is an arrow pointed toward a global deadend.The human consciousness has been stabbed , not once but repeatedly, recounting the ensuing trails of death and overwhelming devourer on large - scale , after the unforgettable World- Wars , back in the 20th century.The joint vision of the sovereign states is to inflict injury upon each other at the altar of misplaced idea of development which has put " humanity in a warfare against the self- interest pursuance".
This vision further blocks requisite rays of change to be spurred in the bid to guard supremacy of humanity. A conjunctive endeavour direly needs to come into play to uproot numerous evils deeply entrenched in the society such as inhumane practice of domestic violence having acquired social acceptance in a few countries , encroaches upon the idea of equality; the exasperated gap between havs and havs nots , a curse on mankind needs to be phased out or the malicious act of conversion of a few happy nations into a warzone so as to hinder its growth.
All the aforementioned evils are hand-raised affronts to global peace and security , would indeed open the pandora's box.The undercurrent of global peace and development is sailing with the oar of minimal humanity distinct from absolute humanity , the possiblity of which survives in an atmosphere where all commonly see themselves as a part of a bigger human society.Thus, an obligation rests on the shoulders of stronger to protect the weaker , enabling "humanity to be triumphant in this war".
7 years ago
usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 8.
The Mysterious Incident At Akashdeep estates - Part 8
New beginnings?
One morning while we were having breakfast Mahesh anna announced that he would be away for 3 days, also asked Shalini whether she would like to go with him since he was visiting Bangalore where her parents lived. Shalini was probably caught by surprise with this sudden announcement, so she fiddled around and said something about not having enough time to pack and get ready …Mahesh anna who seemed preoccupied, did not press her but went on with his breakfast and spoke of other things with Rohini aunt and Arvind.
After breakfast, Mahesh anna called me and Arvind to the office and instructed us as to what needed to be done during his absence since he was leaving early the next morning. I was kept busy in the office until lunch time helping out Mahesh anna in getting together some files and documents that he wanted to take with him. Arvind too helped for a while but later had to go to the town on other errands. I decided to go for a walk after lunch since Mahesh anna would anyway be resting. It was a bit chilly that day and I wrapped my stole around the shoulders, walking briskly through the winding road, taking the diversion which led to my favorite spot which was on top of a small hill. There was a crude wooden bench under the lone tree and I could see the valley below surrounded by coffee plantation and greenery everywhere. The place held a special attraction for me now, after I was shown the little cottage where Rohit lived since I could see it clearly from this spot.
I climbed up to the spot and sat on the bench feeling as if I was on top of the world. I sat there thinking about everything that had happened since I came to the estate and must have dozed off because the next thing I knew was my name being called softly by someone and when I opened my eyes, there he was ! When I saw Rohit smiling at me, my heart skipped a beat. He stood there looking down at me with a gentle look and amused smile.
All I could say was “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep”
“No, no, in fact I should be sorry to have invaded your privacy, you looked so peaceful …”
Saying that he came and sat on the other end of the bench. We sat there watching the glory of nature that spread before us..
I remembered something and asked him “Don’t you have to work today?”
He said, “Of course, I do... I have come home for lunch and have to be back before 4 pm and then we work until 7 pm except on Saturdays…”
Something disturbed me and I asked him “Do you come home every day for lunch?”
“Only after my sister Vidya has come, by the way, she said she saw you the other day.“
“How did she know who I was ?“
He laughed and said “ she guessed it was you since I had mentioned about your coming here. Shalini had mentioned about your coming “
It came as a surprise and a bit of shock to me, the casual and to a certain extent , the intimate manner in which he mentioned her name. Since he himself had mentioned her name I decided to ask him “Have you known Shalini and Maheshanna for a long time ?”
“No, not for long.. I have been here only for 3 months now, but I have known Shalini since our college days. I was her senior by two years.”
As an afterthought he added "I guess everyone knew about Shalini the beauty in our college."
I was not sure what to ask next since his statement left a lot unanswered, like, for example, Shalini’s outburst the other day when she had seen me waving back at him! She sounded so possessive of him!
It was time for me to go and I stood up, he too did the same and we walked down the slope together until we came to the main road from where we took the opposite directions after saying goodbye. He gave me a quizzical look and smiled just before turning away because I had become quiet, but my brain was working overtime trying to piece together the various bits of information.
All that looks..
As I began walking towards Akashdeep on the winding road, I could see Shalini coming up another sloping road in the opposite direction and I waved and waited for her to catch up with me. Being Shalini the high and mighty, she pretended not to have seen me and took her time to slowly come towards me. I noticed that she was in a bad mood and decided not to make any conversation with her. She was walking with a bent head, thinking about something and suddenly asked me "did you walk all the way down the road?"
I said "No, I normally take the diversion and go up the hill? It is very beautiful up there, have you been there any time?"
"Of course I have been there many times."
Now I began to wonder whether Rohit had come up there to meet her? I was almost convinced of that fact!
We hurried back home since there were dark clouds gathering and it looked as if it would rain heavily and it did rain heavily within a few minutes after we reached home.
Mahesh anna leaves
Next morning when I came down, I saw that Mahesh anna was getting ready to leave. Nanjappa was loading his suitacase on to the Jeep, taking him to the bus station located in the town from where he would take one of the Deluxe buses going to Bangalore. Rohini aunt, Geeta and Arvind were there to see him off but Shalini was not to be seen. She came down fully dressed after he had gone and when we had had our breakfast and requested Arvind to take her to town along with him when he went there to collect the post and go to the bank since it was Saturday and the workers had to be paid.
Arvind looked doubtful and turned around questioningly at his mother who looked undecided. Shalini, of course, had already decided that she would go, so she went up to get her bag. Rohini aunt looked at me and asked whether I too would like to go and when I agreed readily she turned to Arvind and asked him to take both me and Shalini to the town along with him. He seemed relieved at this..I went up quickly, freshened up and ran down, not wanting to be left out. I need not have worried since Shalini was yet to come down. In the mean time Rohini aunty quickly came to me and Arvind who had just come out of his room dressed and ready to leave, requesting us to keep an eye on Shalini since it was our combined responsibility to look after her. I sincerely promised to do so and so did Arvind, wondering how on earth we could do that?
She came down a little later fully made up and looking very beautiful. However, when she heard that I was to accompany them she scowled and openly showed her displeasure and I was not sure what to do next. But, Rohini aunt saved the situation by asking us to hurry, handing over a list to me requesting me to purchase the items mentioned at the only Chemist's shop situated next to the bank. Shalini sat in the front with Arvind and I was only too happy to be left alone. When we passed in front of Rohit's house we again saw Vidyakka in the garden although she could not see us. Shalini suddenly asked Arvind as to what he thought of Vidyakka? Arvind showed his appreciation and approval of Vidyakka, by smiling and nodding his head and said she was a very nice lady...
I wondered what Shalini herself thought of Vidyakka ? And more importantly what did Vidyakka think of Shalini?
( To be continued )
7 years ago
jabeen replied to the topic What is life for you?.
I also sometimes face depressions but being an optimistic person I don't stay depressed for long. I usually share my problems and depressing thoughts with my best friend who...
7 years ago
jabeen replied to the topic How are you different from others?.
Very interesting topic.
Others consider me different from other women of my age groups just because i don't give importance to make up. Usually i put only kajal....
7 years ago
usha manohar liked an answer to the question Do education and qualification give an edge ?.
7 years ago
Niranjan answered the question What do you think about mid day meal given to the students?.
generally it is provided in the government school as a reason to attract maximum students to attend school
7 years ago
usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 10.
The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates – 10
That night it rained heavily and we had a power cut soon after we had finished our dinner. For some reason the power backup too failed and the only alternative was to go down to the pump house where the generator was kept and connect it to the residence. Arvind and Nanjappa went down carrying torches and their mobiles in plastic bags. They came back after an hour, unable to fix the cable since it was dark and the torch light was not sufficient and added to all that, part of the pump house roof was leaking, having not been fixed since a long time.
So, we moved around with candles and torches and went to bed early. I felt like a little girl, finding the experience of moving around the large house, holding a candle strangely exciting but Shalini as expected kept grumbling at the inconvenience and inefficiency in not fixing the power back up, the generator etc. She could only think of such things rather than help out. Rohini aunt, quite fed up of her nagging, questioned her as to why she could not help out rather than blame others all the time. Shalini just went up in a huff without bothering to answer. Later, as I lay in bed listening to the steady beat of the incessant rain, my thoughts naturally turned to Rohit and our last encounter. Although I had met many boys and young men while I was in college and even been attracted to a couple of them, I had never met anyone like Rohit before nor experienced the kind of strong feelings that were now raging within me, although I was not at all sure about his own feelings. I hugged them to myself and soon fell asleep.
The next morning was bright and beautiful, thankfully the power too had been restored. When I went down, Rohini aunt greeted me with a warm smile and Geeta handed over a cup of home brewed coffee. Geeta had already prepared Upma for breakfast and since it was Sunday and their day off, both she and Nanjappa were planning to visit some relatives. After breakfast I and Rohini aunt went round the garden, collected flowers, vegetables, some of which had dropped down due to the heavy rains and plucked some fruits as well. Later we made Bisibele bath which is the south Indian Khichdi with lots of vegetables and Raita for lunch.
Visiting Vidyakka and Rohit
Shalini and Arvind appeared during lunch time and after lunch, Rohini aunt announced that she was planning to visit Rohit and Vidyakka after her nap. Arvind wanted to come too and so did Shalini. We walked down the street instead of taking the jeep. Vidyakka was in the garden, Rohit too came out greeting us and gave me that special look as he smiled at me? Or was it my imagination? Vidyakka was very hospitable and a wonderful cook. She served us Tea, tasty pakorahs and Coconut Barfi, which she said was Rohit’s favourite. Shalini commented that Rohit used to like Coconut Barfi even when he was in college and everyone went silent! It really was a tricky situation but Shalini seemed quite oblivious of it. Other than that we had a lovely time chatting and getting to know them and the more I interacted with Rohit and his sister the more my attraction for him and regard for her grew. Arvind too seemed to be happy and carefree, speaking to both of them and laughing a lot. As it began to grow dark we made our way back with Rohit accompanying us till the estate gates.
It was a memorable day and a very happy one. Shalini seemed much more approachable while we were there. But once we reached home, her alter ego was back with a vengeance. She strode upstairs without responding to Rohini aunt’s queries about dinner. I found it shocking and felt it was highly insensitive of her not to bother with any household chores, leaving Rohini aunt to handle everything even on Sundays when Geeta was away. Since Geeta and Nanjappa came back, we all could relax and together I and Rohini aunt helped Geeta in preparing dinner .
I was finding Shalini’s behaviour more and more perplexing, she seemed fine after Mahesh anna left and I also felt that whatever mood changes she had were nothing but clever manipulations to fool Mahesh anna. I felt extremely sorry for him because he was a caring and generous person who tended to overlook many things that were obvious to others. He was hard working and seemed preoccupied with work and responsibilities of running the estate all the time, added to which was Shalini and her many avatars that must be causing a great deal of anxiety to him. No man would be happy to see his wife openly showing preference to another man and I sincerely hoped, Shalini would mend her ways and realise Mahesh anna’s worth.
Rohini aunt joined me and asked me what was I thinking about? I hesitated but decided to tell her exactly what I felt about the situation. When she heard me out she sighed and had this to say..
“Shalini has never cared for Mahesh, she married him for his money little realising that life is not easy for him nor is it a bed of roses for her here at the estate. When Rohit came here Mahesh and he became friends through their dealings in the bank and Mahesh in fact found the house for him without realising that he was involved with Shalini at one time.”
I asked “ So when did Shalini meet Rohit?“
“She met him here at home when Mahesh invited Rohit and Vidyakka for dinner one night. After that she started her new drama, going into depression and what not .. “ “It is no use telling Mahesh that she is quite normal and in her full senses… Anita, I can only see danger ahead of me. God alone knows what exactly goes on in that devilish mind of hers.“
I was scared to hear that because I too had sensed danger and felt uneasy at times for no reason at all. I went to bed with a disturbed mind filled with foreboding and anguish. As a result I had very little sleep that night.
Mahesh anna is back
The next couple of days went quickly but one incident stood out in my mind. It was the day Mahesh anna was expected back. After breakfast I went to the office and found the laptop I was using open and obviously tampered with. Only one person could have done that – Arvind. In fact, he came into the office just then and asked me for some documents. I told him frankly that I could not pass any document, account details or files without Mahesh anna’s consent. I could see that he was not happy with my response.
Later, I went through the file he had asked for and found several large amounts of money transfers from the main estate account to different bank accounts. I decided to bring this to Mahesh anna’s notice as soon as he was back. After Mahesh anna was back, I noticed a change in him right away. He seemed more sure of himself and plunged himself into work with added zeal. Shalini too must have noticed the change in him because one morning when Rohini aunt complained of back ache, Mahesh anna asked Shalini to help out in the kitchen and look after the household rather than lounge around in her bedroom all the time. Shalini opened her mouth to probably protest and contradict him like before, but stopped short when he looked at her sternly. Not that she did anything much but she did hang around the kitchen coming in Geeta’s way and generally being a nuisance. I felt it was a welcome change to at least see Shalini falling in line after all this time.
But what caused this sudden change in Mahesh anna? I told him about the money transfers which he seemed to know but asked me to send the file to his computer. Later that night after dinner we could hear Arvind and Mahesh anna arguing in the office. I presumed it had something to do with the money transfers. Surprisingly Shalini came and sat next to me and asked if I knew why they were arguing. I denied any knowledge of it but she looked at me as if she did not believe me.
Tangles
The next few days brought in many changes in all of us. Shalini was in the kitchen during the day trying to help and was a little more friendly to others including me I and Rohit were now meeting on a daily basis in the afternoons. We would talk about many things and I would confide in him about all that was going on at Akashdeep. The only disturbing fact was that he would never comment or speak about Shalini even when I brought up her name. I was wondering if we could really move forward unless we breach that wall. Another incident that disturbed me was accidentally discovered by me. One morning after my work at the office, Rohini aunt requested me to accompany Nanjappa to Vidyakka and Rohit's house, since he was taking some vegetables and fruits grown in the estate. I agreed and we set off down the road and ahead of us Shalini was walking and turned into one of the roads and when I glanced in that direction, I could see someone ahead of her and I realised with a shock that it was Rohit. Vidyakka too confirmed that Rohit had come home early and had gone out for a walk. That afternoon I did not go to my favourite place. I was totally depressed and angry , went up to my room and lay down pleading a headache. As I thought things over I felt that I was being unreasonable and Rohit had every right to lead his life the way he wanted and I also remembered my father's words "Never judge a situation without full knowledge and understanding." But the ache in my heart refused to go away.
However, in the evening Rohit and Vidyakka came home unexpectedly and we were all pleasantly surprised to see them. Shalini came down but remained quiet and uncommunicative. As they were leaving, Rohit asked me if he could have a word with me. I nodded and when he asked me for my mobile number I gave it with some reluctance. He smiled and thanked me. Later he sent a message requesting me to meet him the next afternoon without fail since he wanted to discuss certain matters with me. I agreed and promised to meet him.
The next morning while I was at the office Mahesh anna came in and teased me about Rohit. He wanted to know if there was anything brewing between us and I was taken aback and must have blushed nice and proper because he laughed out and seemed happy about it. But I told him that we were friends and there was nothing else and he laughed some more and went out. It was good to see him happy and laughing which he rarely did.
I eagerly waited for lunch time and after, when I was free to go for my walk and meet Rohit..
( To be continued )
7 years ago
Reena created new article When we change, world changes.
Introduction
We all are different from each other and thus have the different point of views. For some of us, the world seems to be a happy place whereas, for others, it is just a tiring, worn out place. Some of us want to hop on and enjoy the ride whereas others want to end their journey at the earliest. For some, it is a peaceful place whereas others cannot stand its hustle and bustle. Why there is so much of contrast when all of us are living in the same existing world? This is because we all see the world through different eyes. We are what we want to see. We are what our inner self-allows us to see. Just a thought is needed to change everything inside and when things change inside then within no time, the world seems to change too.
Changes should be internal
If we are peaceful from the inside, we feel everything at peace in the external world too and will never complain of all the hustle-bustle taking place in the outer world because we will never even notice it. We will only look for peace even in the outer world. if we ourselves are restless and not at peace then even the most peaceful place on earth cannot guarantee the same no matter how many efforts we put in to achieve it. if we are honest, everyone around us will seem honest to us, even if they are lying. If we are dishonest then everyone around us will seem to be lying even if they are telling the truth to us. Once we have lost the quality of trusting somebody then even the most loyal, trustworthy person will be seen with suspicion. Everything is inside. We keep blaming others for what they have done to the world. Pollution, population explosion, crimes, corruption etc seem to be ruining this world and yes they are, but we cannot blame anyone for all these. It is we who have brought this upon ourselves and it is we who can stop them. We want the world to be a peaceful place then we need to start the work from ourselves. First, we need to learn to live in peace. Until and unless we are at peace, we cannot ask others to do the same. Until and unless we are happy, we cannot expect the world to become a happy place. Charity begins at home and thus change has to be brought in ourselves.
Internal change brings happiness
What we usually feel is that if world changes, we will change. We blame others for our restlessness and increased stress and tension in our lives. We feel that if people around us change, we too will change. We complain that it is others who are not allowing us to live a peaceful, happy life. The whole turbulence in our life is because of others and thus throughout our lives, we wander in search of love, peace, and happiness. We search for these entities in the outer world whereas they are present within us. We are unaware of them that is what the real problem is. Comforts give us momentary satisfaction and we feel that this comfort itself is happiness. We do not know the real difference between comfortable life and happy life. Those who are less fortunate feel that they cannot be happy because they are deprived of money, love or health. However, they need to understand that money or no money, happiness is present within themselves and once they explore it, the world becomes a happy place.
Do the easy task
We cannot wait for the world to change. Just look at its vastness, look at the number of people in this world. It is even difficult to imagine to change each and every one of them. What would be easier? Whether we need to change these many numbers of people so that we can live happily or else we have to change ourselves so that our life becomes a bundle of joy is all up to us. Every day we will encounter so many people. Some will be familiar faces, others will be among the ones whom we will be encountering for the first time. We cannot expect each of them to behave or talk to us the way we want them to. Every time someone behaves differently than we expected, we cannot keep hurting ourselves. If this is the case then it will be a story of a lifetime because every day someone or the other will definitely hurt us and everyday circumstances will arrive which we had not usually expected. Now it is left to us whether we make ourselves so vulnerable that anyone and anything can make our lives miserable or change ourselves from inside which will make the whole world to change.
Why we do not change ourselves
We usually want others to change. We do not try to bring change in ourselves. There are two reasons behind this. One is that we feel that we are alright and there is nothing wrong with us. It is the people who have to change because the problem always is with others. The second reason is that change needs efforts. We want others to change because we just want them to make all the efforts. We do not want to put in any effort and thus we do not change ourselves. To change ourselves, we have to change our belief systems which are the root cause of what we think and how we think. When we replace old belief system with new one, we will start thinking in a completely different way. We will be able to explore peace, love, happiness within ourselves and thus will stop looking for them in the outer world. Once we are contented, we will stop asking for the same things from others and instead of asking, we will start sharing our valuables with them.
Everything is inside
Today since we are lacking inner peace, we will look for it in the outer world. We do not respect ourselves and thus crave for the same for others. We do not know how to appreciate ourselves and thus we seek appreciation and acknowledgment from others. We do not love ourselves and thus try to find loving relationships in the outer world. We have not explored happiness and since we are deprived of it, we try to find it from others. Once we know that these qualities are present in ourselves and all we have to do is that we need to start exploring them and use them to feel contentment. We will respect and appreciate ourselves. We will always be at peace. Happiness and love will be our jewels which we will carry wherever we go. When we are contented, we will stop searching them in the outside world. In fact, once these qualities get explored, we will discover that we have an enormous amount of reserves of these qualities within us and thus we will start sharing them with others. More we share, more these qualities grow and become strong in us.
Conclusion
When we change, definitely the world changes. If we have to bring change in the world then we need to bring change in ourselves. Just a thought can change anything. Our dream world is just a thought away. If we want to enjoy living in a peaceful, happy world then we need to create a thought which says that we are happy and peaceful souls. Inner conditioning will help us to become what we really wanted to become. When we have achieved everything which we have always dreamt about then we will rarely search for those things in the outside world. If we are happy, the world seems a happy place for us. If we are at peace then world appears to be a peaceful place to us. If we have love then the world seems a loving place to us. Thus, change a thought and bring the real change inside to see a changed better world.
7 years ago
usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 9.
The Mysterious Incident At Akashdeep estates - 9
As we approached the town it began to drizzle and the sky was steadily becoming darker and we felt that there would be more rain in store during the course of the day.
Shalini requested or rather commanded Arvind to drop her at the bank since she hated going out in the rain and getting wet and visiting the post office etc. etc. while Arvind and I could finish our jobs and meet her there. Arvind asked me if I too wanted to be dropped off at the bank , in fact insisted that I too should go with Shalini and he would take care of all the jobs that needed to be done. Although I was eager to see Rohit and more importantly see Shalini and Rohit together, I felt it was unfair to let him handle all the jobs alone.
We dropped Shalini at the bank and set off to the post office which was actually run from a house. I was told that in most smaller villages and smaller towns this was the trend, a cost cutting measure with the post master functioning from his house. Here, the post master, a pleasant middle aged retired teacher did the postal services from the open veranda in his house with the help of his wife. He had a table, chairs and a couple of shelves for storage which comprised of his office. Apparently, he also acted as the post man when it was required, personally handing over mail at the 3 banks and a few other offices and shops. Most estate owners came to the post office to collect their mail, which is what we were doing. I had been wondering why the post man never visited Akashdeep and now I had the answer.
We went to the chemist and Arvind had to get some printouts which was done at the grocery shop where they had copier as well, after which we proceeded to the bank. Thankfully, the drizzle had subsided although the dark clouds were gathering . We could hear voices from within the Manager's cabin and Arvind knocked as we entered the cabin. There was Rohit and two other men with him obviously his colleague busy discussing and looking at some files. Shalini sat there with a bored expression. Rohit said hello to us and requested all of us to wait outside while he finished his work and join us.
I could see that Shalini was not very happy with this and walked out and sat alone in a corner.Soon after Rohit joined us and asked me, what I thought of the post office, the post master and his wife ? who he seemed to admire for all the hard work they put in, since they were paid very little for their services. I showed my appreciation for them and Shalini, who had joined us, at this juncture said that she was dying of thirst and Rohit pointed to a water filter in the room and continued speaking to us. I could see Arvind trying to hide his smile.
Rohit asked..“So, have you finished with all your jobs?“ If you are heading home, can you please drop me off since we have finished for the day and the week? My own vehicle is at the service station” He finished with a smile ..
So, we all set off and Rohit sat in the front chatting about various matters with Arvind and Shalini and I sat at the back, every now and then Shalini would bend forward to add her own two bits to the conversation. When we reached Rohit’s house we saw Vidyakka coming out towards us. She smiled at all of us and asked Arvind how Rohini aunt was and touched my shoulder and head with affection. I liked her and her way of connecting with people and smiled at her. She asked Shalini how she was and Shalini began to say how she was bored ..
“I would have thought that living in a large coffee estate would keep everyone on their toes.. You should have gone with Mahesh, he would have enjoyed having his wife with him away from his daily grind at the estate and you too would have been happy to be in the city with him and your parents.“
Shalini mumbled about how Mahesh had not given her enough time, telling about his trip only at the last minute…The impression I got was that Vidyakka was not impressed by Shalini or her beauty but was indeed impatient with her attitude and airs.
Vidyakka invited us in but Arvind said that we had to be back at the estate to pay the workers off since it was Saturday..
Vidyakka looked at me and said that I should visit them and I told her what Rohini aunt too was keen on visiting her and promised to visit them at the earliest. With that we hurried back to the estate and Shalini disappeared climbing up the stairs..We hurried through the lunch and went into the office where the writer was already waiting with his books. After the last worker had been paid off, we were left alone – myself and Arvind. Rohini aunt too joined us.
Arvind asked me how I liked the experience of living on the estate to which I said that I liked it immensely and each day was a learning experience for me? He smiled at this and after thinking for a while he told me that Mahesh anna should never come to know that Shalini had come to the bank with us. I was surprised and asked him why?
Arvind was not sure what to say but Rohini aunt responded and it was something that I had perceived, probably an intuition I had all along..
“ Shalini and Rohit have known each other a long time and were in love when they were in college. I am not sure what happened after that, probably Shalini left Rohit to marry Mahesh who is far more prosperous and Mahesh came to know about their relationship after marriage which must have been hard for him but he was understanding about it since it was in the past. However, ever since Rohit came here, Shalin has been acting weird and she is trying to rekindle her romance with Rohit from what I see. So, Mahesh is worried and wonders as to what the future holds for him?“
Now I could understand the situation a lot better and it also brought in more complicating thoughts that disturbed me. Did Rohit still love her ? I asked them what they thought of Rohit ?
Arvind responded, " Rohit is very likeable and a thorough gentleman and while he is friendly with Shalini, personally I feel that he would never encourage her. More importantly he genuinely likes Mahesh, one can see that, and he would never spoil his friendship with him. But knowing Shalini, she is the kind who would go to any length to get what she wants. In some ways she is still a spoilt and pampered child and Mahesh gives in easily just to keep her happy which has made her worse. She is not a nice person in fact she is cruel," and Rohini aunt too nodded and when I mentioned about having met Vidyakka she was genuinely happy and told me that we could visit them the next afternoon since it was Sunday.
When Arvind said those last words he had an expression that was difficult to fathom. I had always thought that he liked Shalini but that day I began to have doubts. I also wondered what Shalini could have done that brought out such strong feelings in him? No doubt she was self centered and selfish and as far as Rohit was concerned, she was probably bored and wanted to have some excitement and his coming there must have been a godsend opportunity for her. But then why go into depression? What was behind that if it was genuine? Even if it was not genuine, what was the need to pretend? These were questions and thoughts that really bothered me. I also remembered my mother telling me not to get involved in their personal matters. I decided to take things as they come but when I thought about Rohit, I suddenly realised how much he meant to me and it was difficult not to have any personal thoughts.
Although Rohit liked Mahesh anna, I was not sure about Mahesh anna's feelings for Rohit because I clearly remembered his expression on that first day when we had met Rohit near the gates of the estate and how Mahesh anna was anything but pleased with the encounter. I was worried and very disturbed by all this and although it was drizzling I decided t go for walk and be by myself in my favorite spot. I told Rohini aunt who asked me to take an umbrella with me and I set out with my stole and an umbrella . The weather was glorious, dark but there was a fresh cool breeze heavy with water drops, I felt exhilarated..
Automatically I went up the hill to my favorite spot and as I climbed up, could see Shalini at a distance going down in the opposite direction which also led to another hill. I sat on the bench and looked down at Rohit's cottage and my heart skipped a beat when I saw him walking on the road below, he disappeared from my sight after a while when the road sharply curved. I sat there feeling small , wondering whether he was going to meet Shalini and I could feel tears pricking my eyes. I sat there for a long time unable to appreciate the beauty of the nature and then must have fallen asleep.
When I suddenly woke up, Rohit was there looking down at me with a concerned expression. I straightened up and was not sure what to say...
"I am again sorry to have rudely awakened you... is something bothering you? You had tears on your cheeks like a small child .." he seemed so caring and concerned and I could feel my tears welling up which I brushed away with my hands.
Of course I could not say what the real reason was, so mumbled about how I missed my family! But I already could feel a change in my mood as he sat on the bench besides me asking me about my family asking questions. The world seemed such beautiful place and I was aware of every little thing around me and all that mattered was this moment when I was with Rohit and the very fact that he had come here looking for me was more than enough to make me happy! We sat there for a long time saying nothing but all my senses were aware of him and all I could do was smile at him and when he smiled back at me I felt as if there were no dark clouds.
Little did we know that dark clouds were gathering around our very lives and how? when the downpour began it would consume and threaten all of us! But for the moment all was well with my world.
I thought back on what I had read somewhere .. "Throwing both my hands up to the sky, I am letting myself go, I'm just living for the moment "
Now when I think back I realise that was one of the happiest days of my life that I would treasure forever !
( to be continued)
7 years ago
MG Singh created new article India vs Pakistan: is it a case of David and Goliath.
India during the days of the Raj was one monolith unit. In fact, for the first time in history, the Indian subcontinent was one nation. It was a country that stretched from the North West frontier to give Cape Comorin and from Baluchistan the Far East Himalayas beyond Assam.
The two major religions Hinduism and Islam could not reconcile together. The Muslims who had been rulers for 900 years were chary to be ruled by Hindus and feared that in a Hindu dominated India they would have no place. The Hindus were also fearful of the vast Muslim population which they felt would not allow them to rule unfettered. They supported bifurcation of India. It is on record that Gandhi and Nehru were instrumental in the division of India.
The state of Pakistan was this carved out of India. In terms of area, the state of Pakistan was pretty large but the Indian leadership under Indira Gandhi were able to break the country, leading to the creation of Bangladesh. This was a great achievement and Indira Gandhi deserves credit for it. Pakistan was reduced to a small size almost one-fifth of India and it was assumed that India would be the dominant power in Southeast Asia. Unfortunately, the script went wrong somewhere as the Pakistan that emerged after the breaking away of Bangladesh was more like David. We are aware of the famous tale in the Bible where a small boy named David destroyed the big giant Goliath by his sling. Somehow I can't feel helping that this analogy applies to India and Pakistan, where Pakistan is almost like David facing a Goliath like India and the net result is India is powerless against this enfant terrible.
Pakistani under Zulfikar Ali Bhutto decided to follow a different strategy. They went for nuclear weapons and strengthened their Army which is now almost half the size of India and the seventh largest army in the world. The army has been armed by the Americans with hard dollars. America has never been able to justify why it has given billions of dollars of weapon free of cost to Pakistan. The result is that Pakistan has a formidable Army.The racial stock of the Army is similar to that of India as both are descendants of the British Indian Army of colonial days. Pakistan army may have lost Bangladesh but that was due to their faulty strategy and now they are looking For Revenge.
General Zia ul Haq, the ex-President of Pakistan in the 80s formulated a theory to fight India. He was of the view that Pakistan need not fight an open war but an indirect war and bleed India with a 100 cuts. This has been the genesis of the Kashmiri insurrection where not a day passes without at least 2 or 3 Indian soldiers being killed. Many people have asked me why does India tolerate this nonsense from Pakistan when it is 5 times bigger than Pakistan. The fact is the Indian military is not in a position to give a decisive blow to the Pakistan army.ln, a future fight there could be a probability of the Pakistan army carrying the day in Kashmir.In case that happens, it will be a body blow to the concept of India and only persons to be blamed are the Indian political leadership.
Pakistan has followed a one point programme of opposing India at every stage.They have striven for military parity with India and have more than achieved it. They have also built very strong defences around Lahore which is just 20 km from the Wagah Border. The Indian Army in an attempt to capture Lahore in 1965, lost one full brigade in trying to cross the Ichigol canal. Though in a military conflict numbers will prevail and India may hold the upper hand but it cannot be a walkover. In such a situation the fact that Pakistan has achieved military parity with India is a matter of concern.The responsibility for losing the military edge rests with the political leadership which devoid of any idea of strategic powerplay has allowed the army to go to seed.
Thus when people ask me why India cannot thrash Pakistan, the answer is simple and that is that Pakistan is militarily very strong and has near parity with India along with a strong nuclear arsenal which is bigger than India's.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Conflict- An ugly argument.
Introduction
Conflict gets created when two individuals do not agree on something. Disagreement on any matter is a very common thing to take place. But when disagreement takes the form of an argument then it is said that conflict is created. The argument is the end of acceptance. When we argue, we shut down everything inside and create a blockage. This blockage itself will not allow us to understand others point of view. We keep making a statement to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. If other people too do the same thing then within no time disagreements turn into conflict. Having an opinion is right and voicing out that opinion too is okay but when we try to prove others that we are right ones while their opinions are wrong then this disagreeing argument takes shape of conflict.
What causes conflict
Conflict is often heated arguments where there is too much of anger and noise. This is the situation where others opinions do not matter and all that matters is how much we can raise our voice over their voices. Argument or conflict is non-acceptance. Hundreds of questions will be put up and there will always be disagreement. There will be lots of protests and each of the two people who are arguing desire that their opponent just believes what they are saying without protesting. Only our opinions and evidence provided by us will matter at that point of time and others opinions and evidence no matter how strong they may be done not matter at all. We just keep arguing persuasively and while doing so our confidence seems pretty high. We keep emphasizing that our evidence are true and thus this becomes a reason for conflict. We are demanding acceptance from the other person on the same matter and when he opposes us, lots of negativity fills in the whole of the environment. We just do not understand that it is our belief system and as per that we have made up our point of view. It is not at all necessary that others too develop the same point of view as ours. Different people have different belief systems and as per that their conditioning takes place. There is no point if we take it on our ego because then we will be doing more damage to ourselves and the conflict will remain unresolved.
Where there is conflict, there is no solution
We somehow become more authoritative and take up the whole charge whereas there is no need for us to become in charge of anything. This authoritative power which we self-impose on ourselves will make us feel that we have an upper hand and can do whatever we want to. Where there is conflict, there cannot be an agreement. To solve an issue and come to a conclusion, the agreement is essential. Until and unless the conflict is solved, it is very sure that agreement or solution can never be obtained. Conflict is nothing but a state of our mind. It is a state with which we disagree and the decision is almost impossible to obtain.
End the conflict
Conflicts can be ended within a second if even one person shows harmony or else it can run for decades and even centuries. When beliefs, ideas, thoughts, interests clash, conflicts are created. We say that two belief systems are in conflict and it means they are very different from one another. One teaches something and the other one do not support that at all. When people clash i.e., when there is conflict in between them, it becomes almost impossible for them to live together or exist side by side in harmony. The firm opinion of one may conflict with others opinions.
The discussion is the key
Discussion means proper communication. People talk about the matter, keeping their opinions in front of one another. Unlike in case of arguments, people here respect each other's opinions and honor each other's point of views too. They hear their opponents words or opinions and then both parties decide. Since there was no such sort of blockage created, there is no feeling of superiority here. When both the parties keep their opinions in front of each other, most right of both the opinions are selected and the deal is sealed. Decision or agreement can also be reached if the proper discussion is held and if there is no sort of argument or conflict created. This is the reason that it is often said that communication is very healthy.
Argument versus discussion
To resolve an issue or conflict, we need to talk to each other. If there is no sort of communication established then how can a problem that is been existing can be solved. Conflict and disagreement will keep on continuing for ages without coming to a conclusion. If discussion replaces argument then conflict can be solved within a few minutes. The only difference between argument and discussion is that in an argument we feel that we are right and have enough evidence to support our verdict and thus do not even care to listen to our opponent. In the discussion, we present our point of view and support it with evidence, but we have not yet come to a conclusion that we are right and our opponent is wrong. We are open to the possibilities that our opponent might offer a solution better than what we are offering and thus listen to them carefully. When both the parties keep their ears open they will immediately come to a conclusion.
Conflict is ugly
Conflict is an intense fighting period between two people, two groups or even two countries. It is a period where we tend to oppose our opponent as much as possible and carry out every possible task to stop them from succeeding. There is a whole lot of criticization that takes place. All we do is make others feel low by strongly disagreeing with them and criticizing them all the time. All we know is to quarrel with others. A conflict is a kind of battle in which two opponents keep competing with one another to achieve success and control each other. This becomes more like a contest to win where all that matters is to achieve success. When we lose our inner conscious and get low to achieve the success then we may have won the battle, but lost the war. In a conflict, all we do is that we try to hurt each other. Our disagreement will be more like a quarrel and anger will always be present in it.
Conflict is not a contest
Conflict should have to be resolved and it can only be done if we do not indulge in it as if it is a contest. There should not be a question of winning or losing anything. If we need to resolve any conflict with our opponents then the first thing we need to do is to respect them. Once we respect them, we will respect their point of view too. We will soon realize that their thoughts or views are the creation of their belief system. We need to understand that beliefs are too deep. This will make us feel that they are not wrong. When we get clear on this matter, we will soon start hearing them. This is because now we know that they are not wrong in their opinions and thus there is no harm in hearing them out. A blockage that we created deep inside of us will soon get cleared out. Once we listen to them, they too will sense our honesty and efforts that we are putting in and do the same thing. They will allow us to speak and in the same way respect our decisions. Communication will play a key factor here to resolve conflicts.
Conclusion
Conflict does not get created when two people do not agree. It, in fact, gets created when a solution is not met. When communication is established and we start hearing out each other, within no time, we ourselves along with our opponents can come to a very fine conclusion. When discussion replaces arguments to resolve a conflict, ego is lost somewhere. Once ego is shut down by both the parties, decision making becomes easy. We may or may not win the battle, but will not feel bad because we will be in favor of the decision. The decision that is taken and agreement that is made may not benefit us, but we will be happy about it and remain at peace because we will realize that it is best for us and for others. Even if our opponents have one it, we will feel happy because we know they deserved it better than us. Once conflict within our mind is resolved, conflict in outer world does not take much time to get solved.
7 years ago
MG Singh created new article ' Not a leaf moves without my will' so said Lord and that includes love.
I have been wondering about so many events in my life. I consider myself lucky that my life is full of varied experiences throughout the years. I have been assailed by many thoughts but overall I have come to the conclusion, that the words of the Lord " Not a leaf moves without my will" is a Cardinal principle of life.
After leaving the Air Force,I was one of the lucky few who was interviewed by AH Tobaccowala a doyen of the Parsi community and an earlier close associate of JRD Tata. This interview was for a Community Health Project under the auspiciousness of the World Health Organisation and was located in Palghar district of Maharashtra. I was appointed the project director. It was a very senior appointment making me responsible through the Indian headquarters headed by Tobaccowala to the WHO in Geneva. I had his bevy of scientists in various fields like tribal welfare, water sanitation, improvement in agriculture and other associated subjects reporting to me. Though I have none of these or matching qualifications, yet the interviewing a thought I was the most competent man to be the project director of this tribal welfare project. Before I took over I was called to Geneva for a briefing.
The beginning of the tryst
My story really commences from the time I landed in Geneva I was put in a good hotel but it was bitterly cold as it was the month of December. I had a meeting with the top brass of the WHO who briefed me about the project and told me that they had appointed me to the post of the director basically to see that the project was properly administered and there was no corruption. A vast amount of funds were flowing into the community project from the WHO and the previous incumbent probably swindled $200,000.I was told that they had studied my background and their confidence was high that I would not allow a repeat of such a monstrous act.I was delighted that the authorities have so much confidence in me during the meetings I was introduced to young American doctor named Sally. This is not her real name but is one used by me to identify her for the simple reason that it will not be proper for me to name such a person.
I looked at Sally and saw that she was about 5 feet 4 inches tall, extremely slim with very shapely legs. Above all, she was a doctor and I was told she has been with the World Health Organisation for close to 6 years. I guessed her age as about 25 that made her about two decades younger than me but this did not dampen my enthusiasm and desire wondered what she was like as a woman. I have once a brief meeting with her and I took my chance.
"Sally," I said "I am here for another 3 days. Would you care to have dinner with me tonight/"
She thought for a moment and then her eyes brightened and she said: "yes, certainly why not?"
So the dice were cast.After getting to my hotel I asked the manager to arrange dinner for a couple in a quiet corner of the dining hall.
Sali came at 8 pm.She was wearing a gorgeous black dress with the slit up to the hips. This set her to good advantage and now I had a look at her face. She had slightly smallish eyes with a square chin and I guessed she was descendant of the Red Indians many generations earlier. Overall she created the image of a very enticing woman and as we clicked champagne, we came to know each other better. It was a long dinner and continued late into the night the ice had been broken between us and we were now almost friends. I shook hands as she left with the word "goodbye Sally, hope you are going to come to India soon".
" Yes of course" she replied"I will come to India. In fact, I come here quite often to work with the tribals and I hope you will be there. It will be a great pleasure working with you." She laughed and I could not help feeling that her laughing was just like the chimes of small bells ring in a church.
The Tryst
I came back to India and took charge of my post as the director.It was a tremendous job and give me a great opportunity to learn about tribes and their modes and Customs. I really felt that I was doing some good in the world. This is the first time in my life even after two decades in the airforce that made me think of such thoughts. One day I was sitting in my office when my secretary came to me and said"Sir, a cable has come from Geneva. A person called doctor Sally will be visiting for a month."
My ears picked up and I asked her to repeat the message. I was delighted that doctor Sally would be coming too Palghar and maybe I could invite her to dinner again
On the due date, Sally landed at Santacruz airport and she was picked up by our vehicle and brought to Palghar. We had a small guest house and I positioned there. It was small place situated in the woods with a lot of greenery all around and course it was fully air-conditioned.I had also arranged for a chef who could cook continental food
Sally was course delighted to meet me. She gushed " captain, it's a great honor to be here with you and I look forward to a lot of interaction for tribal welfare"
"Yes, I know that is the purpose why we are here" I replied.
Sally began to work, initially in the headquarters and later she began to move on her own among the tribals. There was very little interaction between me and Sally for the first one week, considering that she had come for a month, I began to wonder whether she would go back without my having had dinner with her. These are lascivious thoughts in my mind but these cannot be wished away.Especially for a man like me who has seen the world and his wife had left him half a dozen years back.
This was the period of the monsoon and everybody knows that Ghats monsoon is something that has to be experienced. Over 100 inches of rain falls and torrents reign making the atmosphere romantic and the countryside becomes beautiful and green.
One day Sally told me, "Captain, I have to go to Ratham village and there is no vehicle available can. I take your Land Cruiser?"
I replied" that's not a problem but the problem is that there is no driver as today the driver has not come from Andheri but there is a way out and that is I will drive you to the village" This delighted Sally and she said " why the delay, so let's go"
I jumped into the driver's seat of the Land Cruiser and put the vehicle into gear and the vehicle lurched forward. Sally sat in the seat next to me and looked at me. I wondered what was going through her mind and as we continued forward the rain began to fall. It was not a simple rain but a torrent almost like a cloudburst. Thunder boomed and boomed again and lightning crashed across the sky. I had a feeling that's something was going to happen. I had never seen long thunders strike with such boom and I had a feeling that Lord Krishna was up to something.
I again wondered what could be the reason for this avalanche. The rain now increased in speed and after a few minutes Sally said " Sir, you better stop because I wonder if you can see anything as the visibility is reduced to almost zero"
" Yes," I said "that's a good idea," as I piloted the Land Rover to a halt by the side of the road. Let me tell your friends it was not much of a road really and basically, it was just kutcha path through the mountains. As we sat in the Land Cruiser I began to wonder about these strange events which are taking place. I said, more to myself' "Looks like this is the hand of Lord himself"
She caught on and asked, " who is the Lord?"
I replied "He is Lord Krishna, who really runs the universe. He is omnipotent everywhere and there is one quotation in the Bhagavad Gita which about sums up the essence of life. It says " not a leaf moves without my will"
" Do you believe, "she asked
Yes" I replied " I do believe it and if we are together here with rain all around it can only be the handiwork of the Lord himself"
Sally looked out of the window at the rhythmic pattern of the rain falling on the earth. What was she thinking? I didn't know as I said something which I wanted to say so many times.
"Sally, I must say you are the most wonderful beautiful girl I've ever seen". She smiled back at me and replied" I knew it all along, in fact, I have been sure. I have seen your eyes following me and believe me I knew the driver was not available today and I wanted to come with you alone" I was in for a shock as now it transferred that this visit has been planned by Sally, as she knew the driver was not there and I would drive the vehicle.
She just looked out of the window and whispered" Captain, I had a weird dream yesterday. I man big and strong took me in his arms and carried me away. He seemed to jump over the clouds as he held me tight. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see my abductors face, but something told me it was you." That's when I engineered this little plot today, but I never knew the heavens would break asunder and I would be in the position I am now.
These words hit me like an avalanche and impulsively I caught her hand. She made no attempt to pull it back as I carried it forward to my lips. I kissed the knuckles, the inside of the palm and sucked the thumb and each finger. She made no attempt to pull her hand away and then suddenly thunder and lightning crashed and the cruiser shook like an aspen leaf.
There was no word spoken between us as lightning and thunder crashed across the sky and the rain beat on the earth. I had pulled the seat into the reclining position and took her face in my hands and kissed her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her chin for what seemed like an eternity.
"Sally, Sally" I whispered " you are my girl and if God wills and if the Lords feels maybe this day will have some memories, later on. I will not describe further what happened because it is something so primordial, something so glorious, something like the dance of Shiva as I undressed Sally. I made ferocious love to her. I am a fitness freak, a golfer, mountaineer, horse rider and these held me in good stead as with the rain beating all around and the Land Cruiser shaking like a leaf and with thunder booming, again and again, Sally became mine. At the back of my mind, I had no regrets that I had seduced the girl two decades younger than me. All I knew at that moment was that this girl was mine and the great lord had given her to me
The rain stopped but we continued in on our path to Eden. It was a delight as nightfall came and the stars begin glittering in the sky as the monsoon had gone. In the clear sky with no rain and monsoon, I carried Sally onto the soft earth for one last fling like the last post sounding the retreat.
We returned late at night and next day when I was in the office I received a cable from the head office at Geneva calling Sally back. I was loathed to let her go but after a last farewell lingering kiss, she left. I was left wondering at this tryst of destiny in the jungles and the mountains of the Ghats and I thought what could be the result.
Hand of the Lord
Sally soon resigned from her job and left for America. She rang me up before leaving and said she was going away to America but she said something which will remain in my memory forever. She wrote to me saying" I am caring something which is a gift of the Lord". I wondered what she meant and try to take Sally out of my mind after another 2 months Shirley sent me an email in which told me that the gift which I have given was the gift of the Lord himself.
She said she believed Lord Krishna and she further strengthens by the fact that very soon in the months to come she would carry my gift into the world. The story must end here because what happened after that would sound more like an anti -climax. I learnt Sally was married, a fact she never told me. She was also childless for 4 years. I am convinced that when Lord Krishna says "not a leaf moves without my will" is nothing but true.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Friends are the family that we choose.
Introduction
True friendship is priceless. Real friends are like the priceless treasures. They are as good as a family. The way our family worries about us, loves us and rides along with us in the journey of life, our real friends do the same. They are no different than our family. Fake friendship may end within no time but real friendship will last for ages. Real friends will live by our side throughout our lives and die with us if the situation demands. We do not choose our family but we do choose our friends and real friends are no less than a loving and caring family. A bond binds two strangers together and this bond itself is friendship. Our friends are as good as pillars on our porch. It is always nice to know that someone is standing by us no matter what circumstances arrive in front of us. They will be with us during our highs and lows. They will sometime hold us and sometimes lean on us.
Real friends make the journey easy
Friends make the day when skies are gray. Family members stand by us and are always there to support us. Real friends do the same thing. They in no way can fall behind the family. They understand us, make us laugh when we are sad, lend us support when we are weak and make our journey of life easy and joyful. Journey definitely will seem easy because we know if we bump a road and face turbulence in the way, there will be someone beside us to hold us and support us. They always have our back even when nobody else does. They always have good things to say about us even behind our back. They are just not our acquaintances. We know that we can depend on them. We need not ask them for a favor because even before asking them for anything, they will fulfill our needs, especially in desperate times.
Friendship is a strong bond
Friendship takes birth when we see a like-minded person traveling beside us. Instead of being alone, we prefer the company. Real friends neither lead us nor remain behind us. They walk along. It is difficult to find a friend in the family, but friends in no time become our family. They know everything about us but still loves us and this unconditional love itself is a real friendship. What more can we expect from life, if we have found a friend who is real as a gem? This friend itself will make our life ideal. We will feel safe and comfortable in their company. We can make hundreds of friends every day and still not find that real friendship until and unless we meet that special one who within no time will bond with us in such a manner that we would never break the bond with him throughout our lives.
Friends heal us
We bond very deeply with our chosen friends because they share our pain. They heal our wounds and provide warmth to our heart. Their tenderness is real and not judgmental. They do not stand beside us just to give advice and provide a solution. A real friend is the only one who can tolerate our lack of knowledge and foolishness. They are okay with our not healing because this is what they do with their tender hands. They are always present with us whether we are confused or acting smart enough. We treasure each moment with them and cannot imagine our life in their absence. Friends make survival easy, rather they provide value to survival.
Real friends are as good as our family
Friends are like glue. They hold each other very nicely. Friendship is a powerful stuff. It connects two souls and their faith together. Only a true friend can protect us from our immortal enemies. Our real friends represent a family we have chosen for ourselves. We then start feeling that our family is complete. Before their arrival, it was incomplete. Their unison with us represents a new world is born. Real friends become incredibly close to us. They become much more than just our friends. They become our family. This is our second family and special mention here is that we have chosen this family for us, unlike the previous family where we had no power to choose. The family does not have to be blood. If we love people and feel safe when they embrace us then we know that they are our family. The family does not only refer to a social unit comprising of parents and children. It does not just include blood relatives. Real friends are our family because they do anything and everything for us. This new family can be chosen by us. We will get to choose those shoulders where we can shed a tear. We get to choose those people who will be there with us in both our good and bad times. We can talk to them anytime and they will listen to us every time. Our life is like a garden and friends are like flowers in it. Imagine a garden without flowers. How incomplete it may appear. We sow a seed of trust in the garden. Daily take care of it and nurture it. Finally, we get the flowers of love and loyalty.
Real friends are very important
Our real friends become an important part of our life, so important that we would find our life incomplete in their absence. Each moment we share with them is important, so important that even when they are at distance from us, we treasure them in our memories. We treasure them in tears, we treasure them in our joy. They are guides to our rickety boats. They are our life's sailors. Without them, we feel like we are going to get down in waters. We unfold ourselves in front of our family because they listen to us. In the same manner, a real friend too will listen to us. This is the reason that we feel like sharing our emotions in front of them. Since they listen to us, we move towards them.
Real friends are difficult to find
It is just good luck if we find good friends in life but if we find even a single real friend then we are more than lucky. Friends are easy to find but that friend who seems like a family to us, who seems like the whole world to us is rather difficult to find. We never try to change our real friends. We accept them the way they are and we bond with them. Same goes for them. They take us just for who we are. We do not try to mold them in any way so that they can fit our image. This kind of act is not the basis of true friendship. If we do not accept them for who they are and are only attracted to them because they potentially like us then it is not a friendship. We are just watching a reflection of our own image in them. Our sense makes sense to the world but a real friend is one to whom even our nonsense makes too much sense. Even our nonsense will seem to be adorable to our friends and will be respected.
Conclusion
Finding a real friend who very soon will be as good as our family is the spiritual experience. We meet someone, bond with them and believe in them. Soon, the bond of trust and loyalty increases day by day. It is we who chose them. It is not just an outstretched hand which we seek for the joy of companionship. It is the hand which we hold for a lifetime. It is all about a discovery and this discovery will be of a lifetime. When life brings joy, we share with them and it doubles. When life sucks, they suck out the pain from our lives, providing us relief. We share and feel happy and the feeling is mutual. There will be respect and trust for each other and these itself form a strong basis for lifelong friendship. We are ready to live for them and die for them and they too feel the same. We may not start our journey but definitely, end it with our new found family because they will be there even at the end. Holding their hands is like holding something which completes us and makes us alive.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Why life seems so hard.
Introduction
We all are well aware of the fact that life is very hard. It is not very smooth and if it was then it could help us to move at the steady pace throughout the journey. It is full of hurdles which make us fall. We fall, we bump into them, we get hurt, we then rise and start our journey forward. This is what life is all about. Life is not a bed of roses. Though it is difficult but not impossible. On daily basis, we see so many bad things taking place in the world. There is a rise in crimes of all sorts such as terrorism, rape, poverty, racism, slavery etc. However, we are stuck in our own lives and even though somewhere is subconscious minds we know that life is hard out there but we rarely try to convince about it to ourselves. We only wake up when our near and dear ones get affected i.e., either hospitalized, abducted, terrorized etc. After few days, we again sink back into our daily routine, until another incident takes place. Repeated incidents in our lives or in lives of those around us make us feel that it is very hard and something is really wrong. We feel that life isn't fair because it was not supposed to happen this way.
Hard days are very difficult
Life is just the way it is. We ourselves have made it so difficult. We had asked for it and now we do not want to accept it. Right now, we are in a "battle of the wills". We have our own wills and our life is the outcome of our wills. There is no denying in it. We all have forced these hard days or even hard years on us where things are not turning out the way we want to. Everything seems difficult. We feel as if we are in a deep hole and cannot find a way out. We cannot see any door open. We cannot find a hand to help us out. We even cannot see a thin stream of light in the darkness. We all have faced different levels of difficulties and hard times in our lives. It can be rejections, heartbreaks, setbacks, stress, poverty, disappointments, sadness etc. During tough times nothing seems right and everyone around us seems to just disappear. Everything feels out of whack and nothing seems working. Since we cannot get our act together, we feel unaccomplished tasks are ruining us. This soon starts feeling as if the most challenging phases of our lives have begun.
Comparision with others
Most of us feel that our life is more difficult than others. Grass seems greener on the other side and thus we feel that others aren't as sad as we are and have not faced as many difficulties in their lives as much as we are facing. In short words, their journey seems quite easy and smooth to us when we compare it with ours. We feel that we have bumped into more obstacles and have faced more headwinds than others. This results in bitterness. We never care about tailwinds which helped us. As a consequence, we remain ungrateful and ever unhappy because we never look at bright side. Darkness will always make us unhappy. Others too have problems. In fact, others may be facing more difficulties than we do. The comparison itself is wrong. We should not compare ourselves with others. They have their own journeys to cover and we have our own. In this way, we will be able to concentrate on ours. We don't know their stories and we do not know how much they had to endure to reach the spot where they are right now. Thus, there is no point in judging them or comparing our lives with theirs. The focus should be only on our lives. When we compare ourselves with lives of those who have faced much more hardships than we have then we will realize how life has been grateful to us and soon we will start honoring and respecting it. We will feel grateful for everything we possess and for everything we are blessed for. To understand what real misery is then one has to compare oneself with less fortunate. Only then, it will become an eye-opener and we will start taking our lives seriously.
Keep patience
Life is a very exciting journey. There will be good times, bad times, challenges, and excitement. It is more like a roller coaster where sometimes we are above and other times, we are down. If we want then we can come back at the top again. Patience is essential. If we make a big deal out of it that we are pushed below and do not have a faith that we can be at the top again then this kind of impatience can only bring sadness. We just need to keep going. If we quit then we can never become winners. We just need to move with the flow. We will exactly reach where we are supposed to reach. Things which come to us very easily are not of real worth. Those which we earn with our sheer hard work and determination seem valuable.
Develop positive approach
We ourselves make our lives difficult. The way we approach our life will actually decide whether we make it easy or difficult. If our approach is negative then definitely it is going to seem us very difficult. Life is precious i.e., very valuable to us. How can we expect it to be easy? Anything that has a worth cannot be achieved easily. Imagine living without any difficulties. It is like swimming in shallow waters where we can see the bright lights easily and save ourselves from bumping into hard obstacles and other creatures. Fun is in to dive deep i.e., to swim in deep at the bottom of the ocean. Fun is in to resolve the mysteries of the sea. No doubt, we are going to bump obstacles along the way and swimming will seem very difficult there as well as there will be no sunlight. But we will get to enjoy the whole experience. We will get to witness magic floor of the ocean. We cannot know true happiness unless we come across sadness. Yes, life is hard and difficult. But it will pass. This is what we need to keep assuring to ourselves. Life is hard for everyone. Each one of us has to face hardships at one or the other times. The need of the hour is to keep patience and have belief. Our belief itself is the one that will keep us alive and keep us going even in difficult times and on difficult, tricky roads. We feel that life is difficult and hard because we feel trapped in failures and rejections. We get tired during difficult times and start feeling that nothing can make us feel alive or amuse us anymore. This is when we feel that we have lost purpose in life. We feel that we are worthless and our life is worthless. Failures lead to anxiety and we consider ourselves as losers.
Life has a meaning
We all have a purpose in life. There is no need to give up no matter how difficult life exhibits challenges in front of us. We all are created to live and inspire others. There is a reason behind everything. Our life cannot be worthless. We exert ourselves with too many responsibilities and give ourselves too little time. This is not going to work. We need to keep patience and find passion. Our passion will help us to find purpose in life and patience will keep us going, no matter how difficult life is. Just change the perspective. look at life from the different point of view and the whole life will seem different. Just a thought will wipe away all the difficulties life imposed on us and we will start exploring all the doorways which will take us further in our journey. See the good in the bad and wait patiently because definitely, something good approaches us when we keep patience and positive attitude.
Life evolves us
Life is so hard so that we can evolve as an individual. At the beginning of our journey we will be an altogether very different people but as the journey continues, we get to experience so much. Our enormous growth takes place and at the destination when we reach, we become completely evolved. Hard times are not meant to complain. They are meant for our evolution. We need to endure everything. We just need to ride it and go with the flow. Infiltration of challenges at every step makes life difficult. Challenges on outside i.e., external challenges are the situations which we face or circumstances which we experience. Internal challenges are our own creations. We set goals and when we fail to achieve them, we get disappointed. It is alright to set goals but then goals have to be realistic. Even if they are not, it is okay. But then, when we embrace disappointments in life, we create some more difficulties in our lives. This is what internal challenges is all about. We have no control over external challenges and thus need to face them more often in life, but internal challenges rather can be avoided to make life easy. This is the reason that we should not make our lives more difficult by creating internal challenges.
We make life hard
We need to get our psychological needs fulfilled. This today seems very difficult. We are frustrated with our drive for competition. We compare ourselves to others and wish to outshine everyone. We wish to possess qualities that nobody possesses. However, this is quite impossible because it either requires a unique talent or we need to explore a niche that is so narrow that others do not have. We also want to feel free. We have our values and want to live with them without ever judged by people or society. Every day we come across so many people and all of them have their respective set of values. It is up to us that how well we can cope up with the differences while living along with everyone. When life was simpler, bonds were stronger. Today, however, bonds are so fragile and weak that it almost frustrates us. Today life has become way complicated than it was a few decades back. We say life is hard or life is difficult and by this, we mean that it is posing a difficulty in our living. However, we do not understand that it is our life. We are living it i.e., we are making it difficult. If we wish to make it simpler, we can make it. If we wish to make it hard and complicated, we can make it. It is we who are making it what it is and it is not posing anything on us because it is we who are possessed of power. We feel that life is quite hard to live. Life is neither hard nor difficult. Life is not doing anything wrong to us. It is a feeling which we have created that is making us feel that life is very cruel and hard.
Selfishness makes life difficult
It is very difficult to get along with others. We all have our different sorts of interests. We all have different opinions, viewpoints which may match with some whereas collide with others. Individuals with whom our viewpoints match, we form groups with them. Our dominance hierarchies emerge and we have today evolved so much that we try to rise above by bringing other groups down by stepping on their backs. This is how we work in groups and this evolved nature of ours definitely bring hardships in life because life is not about dominating or letting others dominate. Life is about living in harmony. Life is also not about forming groups, but about maintaining togetherness among everyone. Being selfish is a wrong quality to adopt in life. This was taught to us right from our childhood. However, we have adopted it and is adopted by everyone who still exists. Survival of fittest isn't possible if an organism isn't selfish and our existence itself is an evidence of our selfish nature. our ancestors passed the test of natural selection. This consequently resulted in their survival and reproduction. All the survival adaptations are a selfish approach to life. We too have many such qualities which help us to benefit us. In one way, it helps existence but with a splash of selfishness. This is what makes life hard because we have selfishness within us and in everyone around us whom we see surviving.
Negative emotions bring difficulty in life
Emotions that which are deep-rooted in us make life hard. They are good as well as bad. Good because we get to express them. Bad because they drain so much energy out of us. No one likes to feel anxious because it drains out so much valuable energy of ours and make us feel restless, taking away all the calmness. However, anxiety is adaptive. Anxiety itself helps us to keep ourselves away from danger. Since we know putting ourselves in so and so the situation may risk our lives, we keep ourselves away from it which definitely means safety. This had been practiced even by our ancestors and these deep-rooted negative emotions helped in evolution. Though these negative emotions are good for evolution they also make life hard.
Hypocrite nature
We all are hypocrites and this fact too makes life hard and difficult. At one or the other point in our life, we experience this kind of inconsistency because our brain is filled with multiple things which collide or become inconsistent with other things which are rooting there and this is a fact. We all say one thing and just perform something else and such people are called as hypocrites. However, this is our tendency and we cannot simply help it. We cannot always practice what we preach and thus we all become hypocrites.
Focus makes life easy
We find everything in our life easy when we completely focus on it. When we focus all our attention on the things which we are pretty good at then everything becomes easy in life. When we are not good at something, we find it difficult to focus our attention on it. We find life difficult because we are finding difficulties in attending it. Some phase of our life is good because everything that we ever carried out in that phase was done religiously by paying complete attention to it because we were good at it. Some phase of our life seems hard because the situations or tasks which we were meant to deal with were very difficult for us and thus we could not focus on them. We can either attend, avoid or obsess what is put in front of us. Attention is very easy because it does not require any curious efforts from our side. It seems easy like breathing. The difficulty arises when we avoid. When we serve difficulty, we start avoiding it. It is not true that we avoid something because it is difficult. We avoid because we sense difficulty "in here". Once we start avoiding, our mind gets programmed. Too much attention will result in obsessing. Here our whole attention is robbed from other walks of lives. We over-focus on one thing and start avoiding other things and this makes life very hard. To make life easy, focus or attention is very important. The more we avoid or the more we obsess, the more "will" will fall apart and make our life difficult and hard.
Develop ease inside the mind
Our life is not hard as it seems. Our perception makes it look very hard. Each new day in our life brings new light and ray of hope. It is up to us to take that hope or just leave it. We can spend rest of our lives complaining about how difficult our life is or else can stop that and appreciate it. We are what we think. Our life is just how we wanted it to be. it's all in our mind. If we generate ease in our mind then outside too, it seems pretty easy. Survival is not guaranteed. Only survival of fittest is possible. Sice this struggle is never-ending, our every day seems like a struggle. Thus life seems pretty hard. There is competition everywhere and in almost all walks of lives. There is greed inside us and we vigorously want to compete and win because we need those resources pretty badly. When greed is in there then how come other negative qualities stay behind and thus hate, jealousy, lyes, all follow. As a result, there is an increase in all sorts of crimes like corruption, murder, abduction, rape, assault etc.
Conclusion
Acceptance is the key. Just accept that circumstances on the outside are difficult which are making our lives difficult. Once we accept it, we will find solutions for it. We cannot keep complaining. We now will become ready to solve the puzzles as they approach us. Discipline is essential and it helps us to work on our problems. If a game is easy then no one would like to play it. Each level increases difficulty and thus we find it interesting when we solve the puzzles and win the games. When a certain phase of our life seems very difficult to us, it gets recorded in our memory very deeply. Our life is a mere reflection of our thoughts. It is what we want it to be. We start believing deeply what we have been looking at for a prolonged period of time. If we find someone annoying and irritating then we will feel the same vibe from him every time we meet him because somewhere in our subconscious mind, we have recorded the whole episode of irritation in our memory. If we think life is hard, it surely will seem hard. If we feel it is easy and smooth, it will appear to be smooth and easy. It is in our minds.Think of life as a happy and joyful journey and we will start taking it in the same manner. This is more like programming of the subconscious mind. Slowly we will start believing deep inside that life is easy without making any conscious efforts. Proper conditioning of mind is essential because our belief systems should be right. If any of our belief systems are creating turbulence in our life then we need to replace it with right one. Life is not at all hard. Instead, we are making it hard. We need to keep patience and faith. This faith itself will help even the most difficult times to pass away and good times once again will come back in our lives. Just keep the faith that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Life may not be making any sense, but just keep faith and trust in everything.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Resolve inner conflict.
Introduction
Conflict is a disagreement or unresolved issue between two people, two groups or even two countries. Until and unless the conflict is resolved, the issue remains unsolved. Reason for conflict to take place is some kind of disagreement on any particular issue. Disagreement is due to our belief system. Since our belief system and the other person's belief system clash, conflict takes place. Our thoughts, viewpoints, opinions are also different from others and this will all lead to disagreement or conflict. Thus, conflict is an internal issue. We feel that conflict is outside, however, this is not true. Until and unless inner self is treated properly and all the questions inside are answered, inner conflict does not resolve. Until and unless conflict in inner self-does not get resolved, how can we even think of resolving the same thing in the external world?
The conflict inside disturbs sleep
Every day when we wake up in the morning, we feel tired. Even though we have slept for adequate hours, but still feel the necessity to sleep for few more minutes. This is because our body might have healed and taken sufficient rest, but our mind was still working throughout the night. It was still creating thoughts, not necessarily at that level which it creates while we are awake, but still, it was working and thus no rest was provided to it. Thus, when we wake up in the morning, we find the necessity to sleep for some more time, in order to rest our unrest mind because this sort of demand is created by the mind and not the body. On daily basis, we encounter so many people. With some, we may agree. With others, we don't i.e., clash one or the other issue with them leads to creating conflict. We may develop anger, irritation, frustration, negative thoughts towards them and towards their attitudes. It is not necessary that we may talk to them about these particular issues. Most of the time, we do not even convey our feelings to them regarding their behavior or attitude which is bothering us. Whether we convey or conceal, in both the situations, we have created conflict with them. Deep in our minds, we have made an issue regarding the conflict we have with others. Every night before going to bed, if we solve these issues then these things do not develop into something huge. If not solved then this becomes the reason for our internal conflict and internal restlessness which make our mind tired even after getting adequate hours of sleep.
Resolve the conflict as soon as possible
Thousands of thoughts and mostly negative and useless ones which we create throughout the day suck out the potential energy out of us and make our mind feel tired and restless. To free the mind from everything and to put it at rest, all we have to do is to answer the unanswered questions bothering it, if possible, immediately as soon as the question lingers the mind. If prompt answers cannot be given then at least at the end of the night just before going to bed, answer the issues so that mind becomes free and relaxed the way body relaxes. Every night before going to bed make it a habit to resolve our internal conflict then not only we will be doing good to ourselves but also to others with whom we get involved in the conflict. Our indifference with someone will bother us throughout the day. If possible, we have to try to relax our mind then and there itself, as soon as the thought of indifference bothers us. Thereby we will be saving so much of our valuable energy. If not possible, at least at the end of the day, we need to think and analyze the whole issue and calm ourselves. Soon we will find that impulses which we created were for no good reasons.
Acceptance is the key here
Everyone around us is different and has the right to think and live the way they feel. We have no right to get in a conflict with them because they have an opinion or way of a living a lifestyle which is completely different from ours. The way we have a right to live, in the same way, they too have a right to decide what they want. This type of thinking is known as acceptance. Until and unless, there is an acceptance, respect does not follow. We do not understand that when we are unaccepting someone, we are disrespecting them. Accepting does not mean that we have to agree with them. Accepting means that though there is disagreement, what others are doing is as per their point of view and this should not bother us in any way. No matter how different others are from us, we need to accept them and respect them for just who they are. Power of acceptance is huge. In the first place, it does not allow differences to come into the picture. When differences do not appear, disagreements leading to arguments and conflicts do not appear. The mind is at rest because it has not created any internal conflict. When internal conflict does not get created, external conflict i.e., the conflict between two people never takes place. Disagreements can be immediately resolved with powerful conversations within minutes seeking solutions.
Conflict in internal
We often meet people and create conflicts in outer world which bother our mind and make it restless. We lay others responsible for not letting us enjoy peace and calmness and thereby we start facing turbulence. However, this is not true. Restlessness travels from inside to outside. It is mind who first creates conflict as soon as it senses an indifference. This conflict then is shown in the form of anger, stress, tension, irritation, frustration, restlessness, getting into a fight with opponents, showing violent behaviors etc. Our mind creates conflict as soon as indifference appears because this is how we have conditioned it. What it thinks and how we behave are all outcomes of our conditioning. We feel that we are always right and others who think differently from us or behave differently are wrong. This creates conflict. Changing the belief systems and proper conditioning will do the trick in bringing back the mind to rest at peace.
Conclusion
Conflict is created internally in mind and then is reflected outside. Thus, in order to resolve an issue, we need to answer all the questions put up by our mind. Once the questions are answered well, internal conflict is resolved and the issue which we have with others in the outer world gets solved automatically. If the internal conflict is not solved, we will be creating a too much bad effect on the mind because it will keep thinking about the unresolved issue or unsolved matter. Too much stress and tension will linger mind and too much turbulence can be seen in our relationships with others. If we want to keep ourselves at peace and keep our mind in a deeply relaxed state then we need to put efforts in keeping our mind at rest and solve all the internal conflicts as soon as possible to make life easy, simple and free of troubles.
7 years ago
Maneka created new article Should you really spend money decorating a rented house ??.
Let me begin by telling you why I chose this topic. I've been living in a rented house since the last four years and have moved houses twice. How often has it happened that you are looking for an "ideal" apartment, you then go on to find it and you love everything about it but hate the choice of interiors, the colour scheme and the existing furniture !!??!! Apart from the big mayhem shifting houses causes, the more important question remains how much do we invest in our new rented apartment ?
My husband had been living alone in a cute little flat before we got married and so when I moved in, though the house was beautiful and cozy, it completely lacked storage options. So we decided to get some custom made wood work done in the house which took almost around three months of our time, peace and money. Eventually things turned out just the way we wanted and a month after that we were told by our landlord that would want us to vacate the house !!! So, all the money, effort and customisation flew out of the window and we now had the new job of finding a new house !!!
As luck would have it, we soon found the house of our choice. This house came with lovely sunlight and beautiful views of the sea form all sides, but the downside was that this was an old construction and not "plush", with some colonial style sofa's already there. We decided to not do much about it and moved in. A few months down the line we realised that the house wasn't making us feel "at home" and the reason was that there was nothing in the house that was personalised or to our taste.
Looking at our past experience, we din't really want to spend any money on this house but neither did we want to come to a house which we dint feel like ours.
What does your house mean to you and others ?
Your house is the place you go to at the end of a chaotic day. It's your haven, your sacred space where you enjoy your solitude, your joys, your family and friends. Your house is the one place which lets you exist without pretension.
So, Is spending money on a rented house worth it ?
They say your house defines you. What this really means is that when someone walks into your house, they immediately get a sense of who you are, what your personal sense of style is and so your house literally is an extension of your personality, It speaks volumes about how you like to live your life,
Everyone in their house has a special place picked out for unwinding themselves, be it the couch in front of the television, your reading desk, your comfortable bed or for some it may be their balcony. Small changes that you make to a rented apartment will help you create the comfortable nook/spot for yourself that will give you the much needed peace of mind and happiness.
Be smart about how you spend !
The key is to entail small expenditures on things that are movable and can be carried with you when you shift again.
Avoid spending on
You should not undertake major structural changes like changing the length and width of your windows incase you choose a house with small windows.
Changing the flooring is totally avoidable - It's an extremely cumbersome and tedious project and not to forget, an expensive one too !
Do not invest in getting customised woodwork done in your rented house to solve for storage issues. The things you get made might not be movable or size appropriate for your next base.
Do not undertake changing the tiles of your bathroom. The plumbing work might go haywire while attempting changes and you might land up doing things much bigger and heavier on the pocket than you anticipated.
Instead, Invest in
Installing pelmets that extend beyond the width of your windows on either side. This gives you the chance to place curtains farther apart and gives the illusion of a larger window.
Put up wooden/glass shelves/niches easily available online in the living room and kitchen to create storage spaces. Utility boxes/ laundry baskets are a good addition to solve storage issues in the kitchen and bathrooms.
If you are stuck with an ugly sofa or a sofa that doesn't match your taste, invest in putting up vibrant cushions and curtains in your living room to give a touch of your personal taste and style.
Addition of flower arrangements (fresh/artificial) and statement decoration pieces to your centre/side tables adds colour and dimension to your space. Terrariums are a huge rage these days. They are easy to maintain (need to be watered only once a week) and a nicely made terrarium often becomes a conversation starter.
Add art to various walls. You can choose a different theme for all your rooms.
Place some pretty candles in your not-so-nice looking spaces, the decorative candles attract attention and takes off the attention from a wall with seepage !!
So, what I'm saying is
Small changes make a big difference ! Spend money wisely, invest in things which you can move and take with you when you shift houses again. adding artwork, linen, upholstery of your choice adds dimension, colour and character to your house without burning a hole in your pocket.
7 years ago
Reena created new article Tough times never last, but tough people do.
Introduction
Life is a journey and in this journey, we need to face everything that comes along our way. Our life will not be a bed of roses and thus it is pretty sure that sometimes it will be smooth, hurdle free and rest of the times, we need to go on a bumpy ride which will be full of hurdles. This bumpy ride will be tough to cross as it tries to disbalance us. Within a short time, we will start having second thoughts and doubts about ourselves as we start doubting our abilities that whether we will be able to carry out our journey forward. It is but obvious that when the journey is easy and comfortable, we don't feel a thing while on it but when the same gets tough, it seems very long and disturbs us completely. It is a test of our patience and will. If we are tough then no matter how difficult our journey is, we will last it, but if we are weak then within no time, we will bow down in front of it and give up everything we have.
Tough times help in learning
Difficulties which we face in our lives are nothing but tough times and during these tough times, we need to make tough choices and make tough decisions. We can neither escape from difficult time nor can we save ourselves from making choices. We have to face what we have to face and we need to make choices in our lives no matter how easy or hard it might seem. If we run away then we are not solving anything and also not able to learn anything from the prevailing circumstances. if we are bravely dealing with them then life becomes easy because it helps our learning process. We get to learn so much when we start dealing with whatever is coming our way. Our decision might be right or wrong, it does not matter. The thing that matters is that we are able to make decisions which will instill in us lots of confidence as we have decided to fight instead of taking flight mode. If our decision proved to be right then we will benefit from it. If it turned out to be wrong then there is no point in getting disheartened as there are tons of things which we can learn from our own mistakes and next time when we come across obstacles, we will be able to tackle them in an efficient way. This, in turn, will help us to increase our toughness. The more and more our toughness increases, more and more it will benefit us and this, in turn, will not allow tough times to last for a very long duration.
Characteristics of tough people
Tough people are optimistic i.e., they always think positive, irrespective of what sort of circumstances they are facing. Situations may be positive or negative but they do not lose hope. They just think about how to positively deal with the whole situation by remaining patient and maintaining calm. They do not lose faith in anything and this kind of attitude has lots of power when compared to negative thinking. They put their hope in a Higher power. This kind of union will help them to take right decisions and they will seek solutions which will be apt for that circumstance. They have an immense internal strength which will help them to find best in every day and best in everything they do. This kind of thinking and attitude is what differentiates them from others and make them tough. They too face many ups and downs in their lives but they have this ability to find best in everything and it will make their journey easy when compared with others.
Positive thoughts increase toughness
Thoughts are very empowering and each thought creates destiny. If we create a thought that we are tough then we will become tough but if we feel that we are weak and not able to deal with the tough situation then even after having a solution in front of us, we will fall short for everything. Such is the power of our thoughts and they can either help us move forward or drag us behind in our journey. It is our choice to create good quality thoughts. It is we who can decide whether we have to create positive, inspiring thoughts or negative, depressing ones. We are the ones who will decide our destiny. When tough times approach us, either we can opt to rise above all the adversity or dive deep down in our misfortune. We can keep on complaining about the tough time that has to strike us but it will be a mere waste of time and will not do any good to us. Positive thinking is the key factor here to become tough and this sort of positive attitude itself will help us feel better in the long run.
A positive attitude is a key to become tough
When we are approached with a tough time, we need to yell at it "I can do this". Though we may or may not be successful in our attempts, it kind of instills confidence in us. Believing does not mean that adversity will open doorways for us but this belief will give us the strength to face adversity and that is what most important. Trying is important and we are never going to learn if we do not try at all. All we have to do here is to name or list our troubles. When we name it, we name our possibilities. Problems that we face or tough times which we encounter can be related to anything. It may be regarding poor performance in exam or career, unemployment, poverty, marriage, loneliness etc. Once we state it and make up our mind to go through it then definitely we will find a way to overcome our tough time and all this is possible only if we are tough from inside. Our tough time which is blocking our success can only be overcome with our strength and positive attitude. Toughness can turn even a negative situation into a positive one. Irrespective of how tough the time we are facing, we can still fight against it and achieve best out of everything and best from life.
Tough times teach life lessons
When we start dealing with challenges on an everyday basis, we are in turn training ourselves to deal with them in an effective way and also increasing our inner strength. Our strength and toughness increase with each victory. We not only learn to deal with the outer world but also learn so much about ourselves. Tough times are the real times where real people get identified. These are the times when we get to know the real us as well as understand other's real identities. A person who does not want to face tough times and rather runs away from it and gets scared actually does so because he lacks internal strength and is rather weak internally. One who is strong enough to deal with tough times will go a long way and thereby success is certain. Tough times help us to identify ourselves. In the same way, it also teaches us so much about the external world, about the people around us. We then will be able to identify who our real friends are, who will always love us dearly and who will be always on our side, irrespective of whether we are dwelling in dark time or wandering in bright lights.
Focus on goals
We carry our dreams like our backpacks and our goals are our destinations. If we lose our hope in midway itself then that backpack is never going to get open. We need to make it through the whole way. Only when we reach our destination, we will be able to open it and then we will be able to see what it holds for us. If we give up in the middle then it will remain sealed forever and we will never know what it held. We should promise ourselves to keep moving further and to dig deeper because treasure cannot be found on the ground. Treasure is always hidden beneath deeper layers of ground and to uncover that treasure, we should be ready to dig deep. We can neither let digging come to us as an obstacle nor allow it to give us a tough time.
Do not give up during tough times
Tough times do not last forever. Does season stay the same throughout the year? Perhaps, the answer is no. The way season changes, our tough times do change into good times. Sun emerges from the clouds and the pleasant sunshine takes away all the sorrows. Similarly, we too will definitely come across silver lining and there is no need for us to be scared of tough times. We need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps because this is what tough people do in their tough times. We need to be tough and strong and keep on struggling against tough times. We cannot lose to it, in fact, it has to give up the fight because we do not know how to lose. We have to finish what we have started. When tough times arrive, most of us lose our strength and stop in midway. We have to persist hard enough. We need to build that burning desire within ourselves which does not know to give up or lose.
Tough people defeat tough times
We are not tough in tough situations because we do not make our path as our definite major purpose in life and thus intend to cross it, no matter what happens. We do not make that extra effort and travel those extra miles because we do not take any personal initiative to make our journey successful. We are not tough because we lack confidence, discipline, and self-control. These values make us go that extra mile and help us deal with tough time. These tough times test our patience. Successful people are the ones who are determined as well as patient and therefore keep moving even in tough times because they know that tough time is not going to last long. Tough people keep hanging on while others just let go and thus it is said that never giving up is the key to achieve success. Persistence is nothing but a quality of tough people in front of whom tough time does not last for very long. It is their capability to hang on, irrespective of how tough the circumstances are presented in front of them. No matter how many times they taste the failures and defeats, still their ability to keep going and never quitting is what differentiates from the rest others and helps them achieve success. No matter how much pain an individual needs to face, he should take all the necessary steps to reach his goal. Endurance and toughness come only to that individual who goes on resolutely, even in dark and tough times.
Awaken the internal powers
To tackle tough times, the doubt should be kept aside. One who doubts one's ability does not have strength and confidence. Firmness to cling or hold on tight is essential and only that individual can do so who never gives up or surrenders in front of tough times. Only stubbornly tough people can last in front of tough times and can even remain steady after it has passed. We often doubt our ability but we need to trust that we have in ourselves that inbuilt potential which we always doubted. These powers which were concealed from us actually dwells within us and are ready to come out, if allowed. Once they come out, they astonish us as well as others. We need to make use of these powers and turn them into actions which will bring revolution. These powers remain usually underdeveloped as we do not use them. All we need to do is to realize their importance as well as develop these powers so that we can face the toughest of the obstacles and toughest of the times.We all face tough times not once but so many times in our lives and problems almost on daily basis. Tough times need patience and toughness which will guarantee a solution. If we confront tough time with courage and toughness then it cannot last long but if we do not take any actions then we will not last long in front of it.
Tough times increase toughness
It is good for our own's sake that we find goodness in everything. Hence we have to find something good hidden in our tough times too. We have to just look for that hidden goodness in it. For example, only tough times will help us identify our real, good friends. We value health only when sickness strikes us. Only that person who is trapped in the cage can value freedom. Only when trouble arrives, we learn to become bold. When harshness and pain strike us, we learn to become kind and tender. Tough times when arrive teach us a lot and we if face it with toughness then we are breaking our shell of tenderness and learning to live in the open. If we choose to strike back when tough times arrive, only then we will be able to become tough. Easy, smooth life does not make us strong and tough but tough times does. It increases our ability to last long. It will teach us to never quit, run away but endure.
Conclusion
No one can escape from tough times. Everyone has to face it sooner or later at one point or the other in our lives. However, it is like a season. It arrives and it passes. Tough times do not last long if we choose to stand in front of it. Strong will of ours can fight with any adversity in our life. All we have to do is create a firm determination similar to that of bull-dog as well as instill within us that burning desire. This will eventually do not allow tough times to last in front of us. Sucess does not refer to just achieving something. It is mainly measured by the courage and toughness with which individual has overcome his opposition. If there was no opposition then winning is not a big thing. Fighting with strong opposition as well as overcoming all the odds is important. This struggle itself will be applauded. Higher and higher levels we reach, more problem arises and our problems only end with us. Thus, let us not wish to face an easy life which is free from hurdles but a life irrespective of whether it is easy or tough which we can handle with our toughness.
7 years ago
Maneka created new article Definite To-do's in Australia in 6 days .
If you have only 6 days to cover Australia, let me tell you - it is practically impossible ! Australia is the sixth largest country by land area and 6 days does not to justice to the magnificent destination. However, there are a few places that you must and can cover in a short trip.
Sydney
One of the largest cities in Australia in the state of New South Wales, Sydney is the hub of art and culture will leave you exhausted with all it's hustle and bustle. Though Australia boasts of natural wonders like the The Great Barrier Reef, it is also extremely urbanised and Sydney is the perfect example of an uber urbanised city.
Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House
These two iconic structures define Sydney. The Harbour bridge is a marvellous structure running through the Sydney harbour. There are a lot of ways to explore the harbour bridge, the most common ones being walking under the bridge and climbing the bridge. You can also cycle or drive by on the bridge. The bridge climb is a popular tourist activity and takes approximately three and a half hours. Bridge climb is done in groups and all individuals are made to wear protective gear for safety. A picture clicked on top of the bridge is for keeps.
The Sydney Opera House is a modern, innovative architectural structure which hosts a number of performing artists. I got to see the Opera house for the first time on a full moon night and what a breath taking sight it was !! Apart from being a centre for performing arts it is also a very active nightlife spot. You can go for nice cocktails by the harbour with this beautiful structure right behind you and a view of the harbour bridge.
The Great Barrier Reef
It is the world's largest coral reef system located off the coast of Queensland, Australia. You can easily take a flight from Sydney to Cairns to see this UNESCO World Heritage Site. I got the chance to tick The Great Barrier Reef off my bucket list in November 2015.
Ways to explore The Great Barrier Reef
Chopper - You can take a chopper and fly over the beautiful reef. There are very high chances of you spotting a turtle while sitting in the helicopter, that's how clear the water is !!
Snorkel/ Dive - You can also go to the wharf and book yourself for a snorkelling trip which would typically last for 4-6 hours. You are taken on a boat, made to wear a diving suit and gear and dropped off at an island from where you either snorkel or dive your way into the naturally vivid world of corals. You don't need to know swimming in order to snorkel, the instructors there are excellent at teaching you the basics of snorkelling.
Glass bottom boat - If the idea of going under water unsettles you, you can event sit on a glass bottom boat and see the corals without venturing into the water.
I got back beautiful memories from Australia inspite of it being a short 6 day trip. Hope the trip you take turns out to be equally memorable.
7 years ago
Deependra Tiwari created new article HUMANITY IN WARFARE.
forming supra-national organizations, inking treaties or deepening diplomatic ties are a few ways generally suggested to a global pacifist as the means of utter headway.On the contrary, mutual respect interlaced with proximal understanding into one , among the nations , lie at the heart of global peace and development as asserted by realised souls such as Sri Aurobindo.
Much like the acrimonious Cold - War spanning 46 years in the international history , the contemporary hegemony of the developed countries is an arrow pointed toward a global deadend.The human consciousness has been stabbed , not once but repeatedly, recounting the ensuing trails of death and overwhelming devourer on large - scale , after the unforgettable World- Wars , back in the 20th century.The joint vision of the sovereign states is to inflict injury upon each other at the altar of misplaced idea of development which has put " humanity in a warfare against the self- interest pursuance".
This vision further blocks requisite rays of change to be spurred in the bid to guard supremacy of humanity. A conjunctive endeavour direly needs to come into play to uproot numerous evils deeply entrenched in the society such as inhumane practice of domestic violence having acquired social acceptance in a few countries , encroaches upon the idea of equality; the exasperated gap between havs and havs nots , a curse on mankind needs to be phased out or the malicious act of conversion of a few happy nations into a warzone so as to hinder its growth.
All the aforementioned evils are hand-raised affronts to global peace and security , would indeed open the pandora's box.The undercurrent of global peace and development is sailing with the oar of minimal humanity distinct from absolute humanity , the possiblity of which survives in an atmosphere where all commonly see themselves as a part of a bigger human society.Thus, an obligation rests on the shoulders of stronger to protect the weaker , enabling "humanity to be triumphant in this war".
7 years ago
usha manohar created new article The Mysterious Incident at Akashdeep Estates - Part 8.
The Mysterious Incident At Akashdeep estates - Part 8
New beginnings?
One morning while we were having breakfast Mahesh anna announced that he would be away for 3 days, also asked Shalini whether she would like to go with him since he was visiting Bangalore where her parents lived. Shalini was probably caught by surprise with this sudden announcement, so she fiddled around and said something about not having enough time to pack and get ready …Mahesh anna who seemed preoccupied, did not press her but went on with his breakfast and spoke of other things with Rohini aunt and Arvind.
After breakfast, Mahesh anna called me and Arvind to the office and instructed us as to what needed to be done during his absence since he was leaving early the next morning. I was kept busy in the office until lunch time helping out Mahesh anna in getting together some files and documents that he wanted to take with him. Arvind too helped for a while but later had to go to the town on other errands. I decided to go for a walk after lunch since Mahesh anna would anyway be resting. It was a bit chilly that day and I wrapped my stole around the shoulders, walking briskly through the winding road, taking the diversion which led to my favorite spot which was on top of a small hill. There was a crude wooden bench under the lone tree and I could see the valley below surrounded by coffee plantation and greenery everywhere. The place held a special attraction for me now, after I was shown the little cottage where Rohit lived since I could see it clearly from this spot.
I climbed up to the spot and sat on the bench feeling as if I was on top of the world. I sat there thinking about everything that had happened since I came to the estate and must have dozed off because the next thing I knew was my name being called softly by someone and when I opened my eyes, there he was ! When I saw Rohit smiling at me, my heart skipped a beat. He stood there looking down at me with a gentle look and amused smile.
All I could say was “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep”
“No, no, in fact I should be sorry to have invaded your privacy, you looked so peaceful …”
Saying that he came and sat on the other end of the bench. We sat there watching the glory of nature that spread before us..
I remembered something and asked him “Don’t you have to work today?”
He said, “Of course, I do... I have come home for lunch and have to be back before 4 pm and then we work until 7 pm except on Saturdays…”
Something disturbed me and I asked him “Do you come home every day for lunch?”
“Only after my sister Vidya has come, by the way, she said she saw you the other day.“
“How did she know who I was ?“
He laughed and said “ she guessed it was you since I had mentioned about your coming here. Shalini had mentioned about your coming “
It came as a surprise and a bit of shock to me, the casual and to a certain extent , the intimate manner in which he mentioned her name. Since he himself had mentioned her name I decided to ask him “Have you known Shalini and Maheshanna for a long time ?”
“No, not for long.. I have been here only for 3 months now, but I have known Shalini since our college days. I was her senior by two years.”
As an afterthought he added "I guess everyone knew about Shalini the beauty in our college."
I was not sure what to ask next since his statement left a lot unanswered, like, for example, Shalini’s outburst the other day when she had seen me waving back at him! She sounded so possessive of him!
It was time for me to go and I stood up, he too did the same and we walked down the slope together until we came to the main road from where we took the opposite directions after saying goodbye. He gave me a quizzical look and smiled just before turning away because I had become quiet, but my brain was working overtime trying to piece together the various bits of information.
All that looks..
As I began walking towards Akashdeep on the winding road, I could see Shalini coming up another sloping road in the opposite direction and I waved and waited for her to catch up with me. Being Shalini the high and mighty, she pretended not to have seen me and took her time to slowly come towards me. I noticed that she was in a bad mood and decided not to make any conversation with her. She was walking with a bent head, thinking about something and suddenly asked me "did you walk all the way down the road?"
I said "No, I normally take the diversion and go up the hill? It is very beautiful up there, have you been there any time?"
"Of course I have been there many times."
Now I began to wonder whether Rohit had come up there to meet her? I was almost convinced of that fact!
We hurried back home since there were dark clouds gathering and it looked as if it would rain heavily and it did rain heavily within a few minutes after we reached home.
Mahesh anna leaves
Next morning when I came down, I saw that Mahesh anna was getting ready to leave. Nanjappa was loading his suitacase on to the Jeep, taking him to the bus station located in the town from where he would take one of the Deluxe buses going to Bangalore. Rohini aunt, Geeta and Arvind were there to see him off but Shalini was not to be seen. She came down fully dressed after he had gone and when we had had our breakfast and requested Arvind to take her to town along with him when he went there to collect the post and go to the bank since it was Saturday and the workers had to be paid.
Arvind looked doubtful and turned around questioningly at his mother who looked undecided. Shalini, of course, had already decided that she would go, so she went up to get her bag. Rohini aunt looked at me and asked whether I too would like to go and when I agreed readily she turned to Arvind and asked him to take both me and Shalini to the town along with him. He seemed relieved at this..I went up quickly, freshened up and ran down, not wanting to be left out. I need not have worried since Shalini was yet to come down. In the mean time Rohini aunty quickly came to me and Arvind who had just come out of his room dressed and ready to leave, requesting us to keep an eye on Shalini since it was our combined responsibility to look after her. I sincerely promised to do so and so did Arvind, wondering how on earth we could do that?
She came down a little later fully made up and looking very beautiful. However, when she heard that I was to accompany them she scowled and openly showed her displeasure and I was not sure what to do next. But, Rohini aunt saved the situation by asking us to hurry, handing over a list to me requesting me to purchase the items mentioned at the only Chemist's shop situated next to the bank. Shalini sat in the front with Arvind and I was only too happy to be left alone. When we passed in front of Rohit's house we again saw Vidyakka in the garden although she could not see us. Shalini suddenly asked Arvind as to what he thought of Vidyakka? Arvind showed his appreciation and approval of Vidyakka, by smiling and nodding his head and said she was a very nice lady...
I wondered what Shalini herself thought of Vidyakka ? And more importantly what did Vidyakka think of Shalini?
( To be continued )
7 years ago
jabeen replied to the topic What is life for you?.
I also sometimes face depressions but being an optimistic person I don't stay depressed for long. I usually share my problems and depressing thoughts with my best friend who...
7 years ago
jabeen replied to the topic How are you different from others?.
Very interesting topic.
Others consider me different from other women of my age groups just because i don't give importance to make up. Usually i put only kajal....
7 years ago
usha manohar liked an answer to the question Do education and qualification give an edge ?.
7 years ago
Niranjan answered the question What do you think about mid day meal given to the students?.
generally it is provided in the government school as a reason to attract maximum students to attend school
7 years ago