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rambabu replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
@ Kalyani
There must be some reason behind the break up of such a marriage that lasted for 25 years . It is true many things take place Within the Premises of the home. Such things may not see the light at all. I too have many differences with my wife. Some times we differ on petty issues like failure of my wife in getting my breakfast in time. Reason I know. she likes chitchatting with neighbors for hours together. In this process there is every likelihood of forgetting about my breakfast. It is just an example. But knowing her fully I will not quarrel, though I get upset. But that is momentary. We adjust . because quarreling before children when they come for holidaying with us, upsets them. All my children are married. Some times they intervene and appease us. I'll not take their intervention in a negative way and we forget everything.
It all amounts ultimately, to adjustment. This my opinion/.
10 years ago
Kalyani Nandurkar replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
usha manohar wrote:
Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:
So sad and tragic! I can imagine how the daughter must be feeling, I think that as a mature and intelligent couple, they must talk it out and try to give it one more chance, after all it is not so easy to end a marriage that lasted for 26 whole years. But on the other side, if they are both control freaks as claimed by each spouse, then it must be very difficult to adjust with each other. They should probably seek counseller for therapy to keep their controlling nature in control. Otherwise, legal separation is the only option.
Yes Kalyani, they are both strong personalities and that is probably the flash point and there are any number of minor issues that come out now. The husband has the full support of his family members because they all blame the wife although the couple has not divulged too many details to them. However , the lady in question has no mother and her father and her only brother are both neutral because they feel that being negative may spoil things more and they genuinely like her husband.So, it looks all the more that it is the fault of the wife which is not the case ! I also feel that his family has been the cause to some extent but I may be going only by her own account ..
It looks like the lady is the one unwilling to adjust or bend to save her marriage. But then whatever we get to hear from them in such cases, it is only those people alone who know the real reason or what caused the marriage to snap apart. So probably it is for the best. But still, it always causes some amount of grief to see such long drawn marriages broken apart.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
I regularly watch DoorDarshan in both Hindi and Telugu. This channel provide unbiased news and free from any political affiliations. And good thing is these channels are sans Ads. In Telugu I watch ABN news channels. .
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
I would request you to also watch Doordarshan news as it gives a balanced content. Watching only a few English channels will make you feel like running away from this country.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic The most corrupt Chief Minister of Karnataka ...
What is shocking is the utter lack of retribution for the oppressors whose wasteful acts over the centuries are overlooked by present day self styled critics of Dalit leaders simply because they give voice to the downtrodden to the discomfort of the former. Wish it were so funny !!
10 years ago
chinmoymukherjee replied to the topic The most corrupt Chief Minister of Karnataka ...
Very funny,indeed! We have made a fetish of
thousand years' oppression theory to justify
any act however irrational and reprehensible
it might be, on the part of these so-called self-serving
Dalit leaders!! Shocking too!!
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
Agreed. I was in a doubt. The reason for my doubt is News is the only source of happenings around. People like me are fully dependent on Print and electronic media. With that source we tend to use in our discussions. In this respect, I'm not alone. There are many like me. Anyhow I'm convinced with your version.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
Negative news interests us and that is what is fed to us by commercial channels. Compared to the huge expenditure incurred how much ends up in corruption. I would like to clarify I am not underrating corruption but more attention should be paid on how effectively money is spent which will also take care of corruption.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
While agreeing, it is difficult for an individual who wants to embrace Honesty will have to face lot of hardships where dishonesty is ruling the roost. But how can you say that corruption is not widely spread, in these " A Day a scam and no single day passes without a scam or corruption " ?
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic What Durga Pujo Can Teach India About Communal Harmony.
Durga poja and the secularism given in the thread are relevant only when they are celebrated as Pujas literally like we celebrate in our home, where there is no scope for commercialism. In that way every Puja and and religious function retain its sanctity.But with the times Puja Pandal construction has become a big competition. The best decorated Pandall will be offered cash Prizes. And this is how commercialism entered in to the realm of religious functions. Now this commercialism is prevailing in Every Puja and religious function.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic World food day October 16.
First and foremost aspect is to stop abusing the environment. Without this, Rainfall will be reduced and famine conditions take place. More greenery will help. Rain fall will be normal. Farming will become more profitable and the subsequent benefits will follow.
10 years ago
took the quiz Quiz about B.R.Ambedkar.
B. R. Ambedkar is one of the greatest leader in india. This quiz will keep you update about his ealy life, birth, death, personal life, family, studies, etc.,
10 years ago
passed the quiz Quiz about B.R.Ambedkar.
B. R. Ambedkar is one of the greatest leader in india. This quiz will keep you update about his ealy life, birth, death, personal life, family, studies, etc.,
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic World food day October 16.
The positive side is that the advances in agri science has resulted in farm productivity going up considerably. IN 1970's India's food grain production was around 90 million tonnes anually. Today it is nearly 260 million tonnes on less agriculture land then was available in the seventies. One of the major contributions is from chemical fertilizers which boost the production in many cases by a factor of 10 when compared to non use of fertilizers. Today only around 30-40% of arable land is irrigated, rest is dependent on monsoon. Expanding irrigation involves expenditure of huge capital and thus progress is slow. In any business there will be black sheep, but they should not be the yardstick to judge progress.
10 years ago
usha manohar replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
@ rambabu ...Personally I view marriage and family are institutions that evolved because they fulfilled certain needs of individuals besides providing security. When it is already a battlefield there is no question of sanctity and when both are equally strong who would be willing to bow down?
@ vijay ...I agree that some couple become good friends after separation because there is freedom of thought and no pressure.Children too help in bringing them together.I was reading an interview by writer/film maker Gulzar, where he spoke about his relationship with his wife Rakhee.Although separated for years now, they do many things together and he never forgets to buy her a gift when he travels..
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
A strain in relationship is like a crack in the mirror. Howsoever you may try to mend it the crack will remain visible. Legal separation is the best way out when couples cannot stand each other. No use faking a relationship. Better to separate and live without guilt and the way one wants to live. Many a time the separated couples become good friends because there are no obligations now.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic What Durga Pujo Can Teach India About Communal Harmony.
I second the views expressed by @Chimoy. They are very relevant and expose the hypocrisy in our society. Most of the festivals are are now reduced to picnic like celebrations and look like fun fair stalls. In Gujarat the Graba festival is now become an event management with sponsors and tickets for audiences.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
@ Kalyani
There must be some reason behind the break up of such a marriage that lasted for 25 years . It is true many things take place Within the Premises of the home. Such things may not see the light at all. I too have many differences with my wife. Some times we differ on petty issues like failure of my wife in getting my breakfast in time. Reason I know. she likes chitchatting with neighbors for hours together. In this process there is every likelihood of forgetting about my breakfast. It is just an example. But knowing her fully I will not quarrel, though I get upset. But that is momentary. We adjust . because quarreling before children when they come for holidaying with us, upsets them. All my children are married. Some times they intervene and appease us. I'll not take their intervention in a negative way and we forget everything.
It all amounts ultimately, to adjustment. This my opinion/.
10 years ago
Kalyani Nandurkar replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
usha manohar wrote:
Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:
So sad and tragic! I can imagine how the daughter must be feeling, I think that as a mature and intelligent couple, they must talk it out and try to give it one more chance, after all it is not so easy to end a marriage that lasted for 26 whole years. But on the other side, if they are both control freaks as claimed by each spouse, then it must be very difficult to adjust with each other. They should probably seek counseller for therapy to keep their controlling nature in control. Otherwise, legal separation is the only option.
Yes Kalyani, they are both strong personalities and that is probably the flash point and there are any number of minor issues that come out now. The husband has the full support of his family members because they all blame the wife although the couple has not divulged too many details to them. However , the lady in question has no mother and her father and her only brother are both neutral because they feel that being negative may spoil things more and they genuinely like her husband.So, it looks all the more that it is the fault of the wife which is not the case ! I also feel that his family has been the cause to some extent but I may be going only by her own account ..
It looks like the lady is the one unwilling to adjust or bend to save her marriage. But then whatever we get to hear from them in such cases, it is only those people alone who know the real reason or what caused the marriage to snap apart. So probably it is for the best. But still, it always causes some amount of grief to see such long drawn marriages broken apart.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
I regularly watch DoorDarshan in both Hindi and Telugu. This channel provide unbiased news and free from any political affiliations. And good thing is these channels are sans Ads. In Telugu I watch ABN news channels. .
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
I would request you to also watch Doordarshan news as it gives a balanced content. Watching only a few English channels will make you feel like running away from this country.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic The most corrupt Chief Minister of Karnataka ...
What is shocking is the utter lack of retribution for the oppressors whose wasteful acts over the centuries are overlooked by present day self styled critics of Dalit leaders simply because they give voice to the downtrodden to the discomfort of the former. Wish it were so funny !!
10 years ago
chinmoymukherjee replied to the topic The most corrupt Chief Minister of Karnataka ...
Very funny,indeed! We have made a fetish of
thousand years' oppression theory to justify
any act however irrational and reprehensible
it might be, on the part of these so-called self-serving
Dalit leaders!! Shocking too!!
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
Agreed. I was in a doubt. The reason for my doubt is News is the only source of happenings around. People like me are fully dependent on Print and electronic media. With that source we tend to use in our discussions. In this respect, I'm not alone. There are many like me. Anyhow I'm convinced with your version.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
Negative news interests us and that is what is fed to us by commercial channels. Compared to the huge expenditure incurred how much ends up in corruption. I would like to clarify I am not underrating corruption but more attention should be paid on how effectively money is spent which will also take care of corruption.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic Honesty is not the Best policy ?.
While agreeing, it is difficult for an individual who wants to embrace Honesty will have to face lot of hardships where dishonesty is ruling the roost. But how can you say that corruption is not widely spread, in these " A Day a scam and no single day passes without a scam or corruption " ?
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic What Durga Pujo Can Teach India About Communal Harmony.
Durga poja and the secularism given in the thread are relevant only when they are celebrated as Pujas literally like we celebrate in our home, where there is no scope for commercialism. In that way every Puja and and religious function retain its sanctity.But with the times Puja Pandal construction has become a big competition. The best decorated Pandall will be offered cash Prizes. And this is how commercialism entered in to the realm of religious functions. Now this commercialism is prevailing in Every Puja and religious function.
10 years ago
rambabu replied to the topic World food day October 16.
First and foremost aspect is to stop abusing the environment. Without this, Rainfall will be reduced and famine conditions take place. More greenery will help. Rain fall will be normal. Farming will become more profitable and the subsequent benefits will follow.
10 years ago
took the quiz Quiz about B.R.Ambedkar.
B. R. Ambedkar is one of the greatest leader in india. This quiz will keep you update about his ealy life, birth, death, personal life, family, studies, etc.,
10 years ago
passed the quiz Quiz about B.R.Ambedkar.
B. R. Ambedkar is one of the greatest leader in india. This quiz will keep you update about his ealy life, birth, death, personal life, family, studies, etc.,
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic World food day October 16.
The positive side is that the advances in agri science has resulted in farm productivity going up considerably. IN 1970's India's food grain production was around 90 million tonnes anually. Today it is nearly 260 million tonnes on less agriculture land then was available in the seventies. One of the major contributions is from chemical fertilizers which boost the production in many cases by a factor of 10 when compared to non use of fertilizers. Today only around 30-40% of arable land is irrigated, rest is dependent on monsoon. Expanding irrigation involves expenditure of huge capital and thus progress is slow. In any business there will be black sheep, but they should not be the yardstick to judge progress.
10 years ago
usha manohar replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
@ rambabu ...Personally I view marriage and family are institutions that evolved because they fulfilled certain needs of individuals besides providing security. When it is already a battlefield there is no question of sanctity and when both are equally strong who would be willing to bow down?
@ vijay ...I agree that some couple become good friends after separation because there is freedom of thought and no pressure.Children too help in bringing them together.I was reading an interview by writer/film maker Gulzar, where he spoke about his relationship with his wife Rakhee.Although separated for years now, they do many things together and he never forgets to buy her a gift when he travels..
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic Is Legal Separation the only solution?.
A strain in relationship is like a crack in the mirror. Howsoever you may try to mend it the crack will remain visible. Legal separation is the best way out when couples cannot stand each other. No use faking a relationship. Better to separate and live without guilt and the way one wants to live. Many a time the separated couples become good friends because there are no obligations now.
10 years ago
vijay replied to the topic What Durga Pujo Can Teach India About Communal Harmony.
I second the views expressed by @Chimoy. They are very relevant and expose the hypocrisy in our society. Most of the festivals are are now reduced to picnic like celebrations and look like fun fair stalls. In Gujarat the Graba festival is now become an event management with sponsors and tickets for audiences.
10 years ago