Parents and their role in a family

The theory that both parents contribute equally in the running of a family smoothly sans hassles will not happen in its true meaning. That is families are either mother oriented or Father oriented.

Again even after this classification, no system will assure a complete success. Parents who involve excessively in their children's day to day activities may adversely affect their children's personality

Parents who are non or moderately dominating are likely to achieve more and better results in their upbringing.

Dads are Decisive

Families where Dads rule the roost have a definitive set of aims and objectives of the family, in which the future aspirations and ambitions to be fulfilled are well depicted.  They want their sons to excel in a specific field. They envisage their sons and daughters to become successful in their chosen spheres. Its not all.  such Dads clearly define in no uncertain terms the strategies To be followed in order to achieve their goals. When it comes to daughters, they will not show any discrimination between the boys and girls in the process of UPBRINGING.

A Dutiful Dad is not Dogmatic.

Emancipated Dads walk with changing times. Instead of forcibly thrusting their age old views, Ideal Dads respect the views of their children and comply with their views, of course judiciously.

A good Pa expresses love

Moti was down with grief and depression on that day. She was denied a role in her class drama. The teacher promised her the role in the beginning. Bu for the reasons best known to her, in the last moment Moti was informed that her role was given to Swati, another student of the same class. When her Mom and Dad who were both working came home, Moti could not control her grief and broken in to uncontrollable weeping.

Moti's father without dismissing it as a triviality and seeing the whole situation as viewed by Moti, gave all the time,consoled Moti. Comforted her with soothing voice.

Like all good Daddies, Moti's father uses several other ways to express his love. One of his favourite ways to express love is, he goes and opens Moti's wooden shelf and secretly slips a small card with a written message, "I Love you Moti". Next day, when Moti opens the shelf, she will be overjoyed to see her Dad's message. This boosts the morale of the child. What all you need is a bit of creativity.

A good Pa knows how his child relishes his love

Some children do not relish a boisterous display of Love from their parents.especially when friends are around.A smart Dad not only knows about it, but also implements  by expressing his love in a subtle and in a low key way. Example.

When his child is amidst the playground about to participate in a big sporting event and surrounded by his friends and coaches, a smart Dad just uses the 'Thumbs up' gesture and winks sheepishly. And you can see the child's elation.

Please note

Do you know what makes a child pleasing and happy?

The love, affection and harmony between the parents is the best view relished by the children. Of course a smart parent knows very well about this. That's why, he will never ill behave with his wife especially in the presence of children.

 A good Pa always finds time for his children

Even When he is amidst a sea of activity,  a smart dad somehow squeezes time to be with his children. After a tiring day's work, when he reaches his home, he will never say NO to hug his anxiously waiting children at the door way. He neither frowns at them nor lets out an angry word.Its not necessary for a smart Dad every time to use long talks. HE just uses his magic smile and a lilting "Yes" and "NO"

Lack of paternal care and attention makes the children look elsewhere and towards other attractions, which generally lead to bad associations. When the child knows that there is no one to check his activities, he dares to establish a relation with evil company. And this may further lead to drug addiction.

And due to this reason parents who are away from the family either in a foreign country or posted in a distant place are likely to face such problems from their children.

Good Dads see through the eyes of their kids

Many parents commit this mistake. They expect their kids to understand like him and behave like an adult. Treat them like any other children and teach them in such a way the child can grasp your point of view. If this is not possible see at the things as if a child sees .. Then most of the impasses will be resolved and your child will behave as you expect him to behave.

I'm Cricket buff and so are many in the neighbourhood. And so my son also must be a cricket fan. This was my assumption. In accordance with my assumption, one day I took my son to a One day international cricket match. I was so absorbed in the match, i never bothered even to look towards my son. It was only when I was throat fully acknowledging a straight drive of Suresh Raina that I happened to look towards my son who was dozing by my side. I felt guilty. In the meantime, my son too woke up because of the thunderous applause.

I asked my son if he wanted to go home. He immediately said 'Yes'. I took my son away from the cricket ground. On our way back, we stopped at a science exhibition on the request of my son.

Then wisdom dawned over me. I took my son for granted and forced him to a place in which he's not interested. This is a crime no parent should commit.

Good Dads sail along with changing times

Dads who are watchful and vigilant will keep an eye on the changes taking place around. They are not dogmatic.  They are not stubborn. They are not intractable.A wise Dad with forethought will take in his stride all those bizarre and odd things that go in the guise of "Trendy". He is well aware that his tolerance will pay good results in the spheres of self esteem and self confidence. His wisdom taught him not to criticize their children which surely prove counter productive. Criticism and outright condemnation would surely result in building a barricade between father and children. Criticism would have certainly damaged the children's personality. And the last but not the least damage would have created inferiority complex.

A wise Dad is so confident about his children, though they temporarily  pass through a bad patch, would become more responsible with time.

A good Dad never hesitates to applaud

Every human irrespective of gender craves for recognition.The feeling that someone recognised your efforts and rewarded you will send waves of joy in every human being. A wise father uses this human psyche to his advantage. Even with a slightest opportunity, a smart Dad rushes to compliment his children. This small but effective gesture goes a long way in strengthening the bond between father and child bond.

Its natural any body will congratulate you over your success. But the greatness lies in consoling in failures. This is more important. A reassuring gesture that says silently, "Its O.K Babe, next time better luck" will boost the morale of the person who is deeply immersed in the grief of sorrow because of a failure.

Its where a smart Dad delivers the goods with utmost perfection and ease. He behaves as if there was no failure at all. He makes his aggrieved children feel that a failure doesn't mean end of the world. He quotes many great people's accomplishments and the number of failures they tasted before they actually tasted the real success.

A Pillar to lean on

Just looking after the financial needs of the family and children in particular is not the only responsibility of good father. Its something beyond that. A dutiful Dad involves himself in all the day to day activities of children without an invitation. By being with the children as far as one can afford,one entitles himself as a smart and lovable father.  Children of that house need not look towards others for acting as a role model. The bond of trust remains unbreakable for ever.

A judicious and accommodating dad

'Pa, I wanna go for a picnic with all my friends next week.' this was Aruna's request to her father. Aruna is the only daughter of my friend Krishna.

Krishna's answer was a firm 'No'. Aruna is in the beginning stage of Asthma and she is  under constant medication. Krishna knows well all about her needs. Which is why Aruna's request was denied. But, without the knowledge of Aruna enquired the class teacher and the accompanying teachers and ensured that Aruna receives all the attention she needed during her Picnic. The accompanying teacher was given all the necessary medicines to be administered to Aruna. Aruna was given extra warm clothing like woolen blankets to avoid exposure to cold atmosphere during picnic.

 Krishna after ensuring all the necessary amenities for Aruna, gave a green signal to Aruna allowing her for the picnic.