When the year 1991. Intifada, the rise of the first Palestinians against Israel, was rampant. I was walking casually with a group of American citizens through the winding alley - meandering in the refugee camp of Al - Fawwar near Hebron. We could hear the Israeli soldiers moved in the camp on the other side. We turned a corner and found a half old Palestinian woman - middle-aged paw - root through the debris in - rubble. Our host explained to him we come to listen to people - the Israelis and Palestinians - to find out immediately the situation and listen to the story - their story.
The woman looked at us and, motioning to a pile of rubble in desperation, he began to tell. "This marks my house." translate our host. The woman cries of anger roared when he told his youngest son had been shot dead by Israeli troops, and his eldest son had just jailed for life by a military court. After the sentence was issued, his house destroyed by a bulldozer. He and his two daughters have just built a cabin home to impound their livestock. The woman began to wail, and our host translates: "Why are you people - the Americans hate us? What have we done to you? We've lost it all! We're just struggling to survive."
We stood transfixed as she went out of anger and grief. For most of us in this group, this woman's story is the first realization that many Palestinians who believe that the United States was at war with them.
Then we saw how powerful listening, when, having pulled out his anger, he pulled out a handkerchief, wiped her tears, and invited us into his hut for tea. We sat down with him on the dirty floor of the cabin, sipping sweet tea is weak, and started asking questions, listening openly and mutual respect.
I have participated in the reconciliation of Israel - the Palestinians since 1982 when training at the School for Peace in Israel as a teenager. There Israelis and Palestinians together, often for the first time in their life, to have a relationship as fellow human beings. When I saw that when people exchanged stories of their personal suffering and the truth, opponents - opponents that they can listen without blame and without arguing. An emotional bond existed between them, and sort of formed a little peace.
In 1990 I began experimenting with a different approach: I started to bring people - the Americans to the Middle East to listen to the story - the story of Israel and the Palestinian people. I feel that approach would restore those involved in the conflict and will enlighten the American people. After several trips to the Middle East to hear the success stories, we are known as The Compassionate Listening Project (Project Listening to the Heart), whose goal is to build international support for peace in the Middle East, while offering a practical means for conflict resolution between people - people "that the common people" in the country - the country's conflict.
Basis of Listening With Heart project is that each party in a state of suffering, and every act of violence came from the wound did not heal. Our task as a peacemaker is to listen to the suffering of all parties and find a way - a way to communicate to both sides of humanity and suffering of others. Americans who participate in this project had been trained to listen with respect for all parties.
In 1998 we began to teach workshops Listening with the Heart to the citizens of Israel and the Palestinians so that they can continue the task itself in their communities. One of our first workshop involving Esther, who survived the tragedy of the Holocaust at the age of seven puluhannya, and Mary, the Christian Palestinians in their twenties. For both, that's their first time face to face to listen to the personal suffering of the enemy - the enemy.
On the second day, we totaling twenty-five in a circle to listen to Esther and Mary to tell their stories. Esther told me early on and began to tell us how he grew up in Germany and sent to England in World War II at the age of fifteen. Brother and sister also fled, but their parents died in Auschwitz; Esther eventually married and moved to Palestine and soon became the state of Israel.
Esther tells us what it's like to raise a family in the new state of Israel and to live in so many wars - how her heart broken when a Jewish family could not live without the threat of violence, after the repression and terror they experienced in Europe. He recounts how sad for all the children and grandchildren in the army and experienced the terrible effects of war and resistance. He tells the life of family and friends - friends who filled the fear of the killer bomb endless and anxiety every day.
When Esther speaking, Mary, the young woman from Palestine, who had never met with Israeli Jews directly, sat and listened to her story and then cried like us. Mary could feel the pain of Esther, and his heart became open to Israeli Jews for the first time in his life.
Then it was Mary's turn. He sat quietly and tell us what it was like growing up under Israeli occupation in Jerusalem. He told friends - fellow classmates were dead. One was cycling home and shot in the back by Israeli soldiers. He fell from his bike and died instantly in front of her and friends - the other classmates.
He told another story to kmai when he was surrounded and beaten the Israeli army after school. She was scared would be brought and killed, and his family will not know what happened to him. His story is one story of abuse and humiliation that happened the day - day. He was always shaking for telling her story. Having finished one, his body was still gemeter great.
When Mary had finished, the group wiped her tears and sat in silence, digesting the poignant story that is indescribable. Then Esther got up, walked across the room and hugged Mary as if - to his own son. Mary was crying in his arms, and Esther mengoyangkan arms and comforted her. We all cried again, carried away by the feeling of witnessing all the human contact of the first love between two people who previously hostile.
After years - years later, Esther continued to have a relationship with Mary. They have been bound emotionally since the workshop and build lasting relationships that still to this day, though the conflict continued to take place. One time, Esther was even brought friends - friends from Germany to meet with Mary at the workplace, a very beautiful monastery in the old city of Jerusalem. Kesanalah a Jewish woman with friends - fellow German met with his Palestinian friends! When I met with Esther recently, he told me, "You should see a twinkle in the eyes of Mary when I first walked in!"
Once people have formed a human contact with others on the other side, anything and everything can be possible. The stage was set for two men to be able to imagine peace. And I think this is the most important thing. Even if a peace agreement was made at the political level, it takes people who are at the lowest level such as Mary and Esther to build real peace.
Once the heart is open to other parties, the heart will never be closed again. That's what I believed as a way to make a change - in the per person, heart of hearts.
This article may sound weird but this will be useful for those who needs to know more words that relates to clothing. The words relate to various clothes of various cultures too. Here you will find a real lot of interesting new words that I obviously haven't heard before....
1.apron-a protective or decorative garment worn over the front of one's clothes, either from chest or waist level, and tied at the back.
2.attire- that which clothes or adorns
3.belt- a girdle worn around the waist.
4.blouse- a woman's bodice
5.boots- the leather foot-covering.
6. breeches- short trousers fashioned below the knees
7.cap- a soft close-fitting head covering.
8. cassock- a long close tunic worn by priests.
9.chasuble- an upper priestly garment.
10.chemise- a women's shirt.
11. cloak- a loose sleeveless coat.
12. coat- the man's outer garment.
13. collar- a neck band.
14. cur-set- stay,inner bodice.
15. costume- complete set of garments.
16. cravat- neck cloth or tie.
17. frock- gown worn by women and children.
18. garb- costume.
19. garment- an article of dress.
20. garter- a band worn to keep up stocking.
21. gingham- a kind of colored cotton cloth with stripes or checks.
22. girdle- a belt or cord tied round the waist.
23. gown- a woman's upper garment.
24. gusset- an angular piece of cloth inserted in a garment to strengthen some part of it.
25. habit- any official or customary costume.
26. handkerchief- a piece of cloth used to keep oneself clean or wipe off sweat.
27. hat- the head covering.
28. hose- stockings.
29. kirtle- a sort of gown or outer petticoat.
30. kilt- a sort of short petticoat.
31. pelisse- a long mantle worn by ladies.
32. petticoat- women's under-skirt.
33. robe- any long loose outer garment.
34. shawl- a wrap or covering made of wool or silk for the body.
35. shirt- inner garment.
36. shoes- the outer foot-coverings
37. smock- a loose undergarments.
38. socks- short stockings.
39. surplice- a white robe worn by priests.
40. toga- the national robe of ancient roman.
41. towel- a cloth for wiping.
42. trousers- long breeches.
43. tunic- roman sleeved garment touching the knee
44. vest- a close fitting upper garment worn by men under the coat.
45. waistcoat- a garment worn beneath the coat.
46. saree- a garment consisting of a length of cotton or silk elaborately draped around the body, traditionally worn by women from the Indian subcontinent.
47. kimono- long, loose robe with wide sleeves and tied with a sash, originally worn as a formal garment in Japan and now also used elsewhere as a robe.
48. cheongsam- straight, close-fitting silk dress with a high neck, short sleeves, and a slit skirt, worn traditionally by Chinese and Indonesian women.
49. dirndl- a woman's dress in the style of Alpine peasant costume, with such a skirt and a close-fitting bodice.
50. jumper- a collarless sleeveless dress, typically worn over a blouse.
51. muumuu- a woman's loose, brightly colored dress, esp. one traditionally worn in Hawaii.
52. pinafore- a sleeveless apronlike garment worn over a child’s dress.
53. sarong-a garment consisting of a long piece of cloth worn wrapped around the body and tucked at the waist or under the armpits, traditionally worn in Southeast Asia and now also by women in the West.
54. sheath- a close-fitting cover for something, esp. something that is elongated in shape, in particular
• a cover for the blade of a knife or sword.
55. sun-dress- a light, loose, sleeveless dress, typically having a wide neckline and thin shoulder straps.
56 . cargo-loose-fitting casual slacks with large patch pockets on the thighs.
57. chaps-leather- pants without a seat, worn by a cowboy over ordinary pants to protect the legs.
58. sweatpants- loose, warm trousers with an elasticized or drawstring waist, worn when exercising or as leisurewear.
59. gauchos- a cowboy dress
60. culottes- women's knee-length trousers, cut with very full legs to resemble a skirt.
Thank you,
R.Rajkumar.
To start with, it’s something to do with "Sab Maya Hai". This statement has got a deep meaning underlying it, which I am not fully aware of , may be not even a bit of it. First I heard it from my elder brother, Ajay, when I was in class VIII. Then I started hearing it from my younger bro, Nishant, in a bit modified form i.e. "Sab Time Pass hai".
As I said I don’t know the underlying meaning of these statements, but deep down inside my heart, I recognize their significance and keep taking their advantage whenever required/needed. I would like to mention such few incidents.
It was the final year of my post graduation, and we all were worried about our career and stuff like that. By the Almighty's grace it didn't take me long to find something which I was looking for .I started working as a Psychologist with one of Psychological firms in Mumbai. So was I happy?Not really....No don’t take me wrong , I was very happy for what I was doing, but it was a very hectic schedule .There was nothing else left but going from house to office & office to house . At that time I really used to wish ,I want something where I can take up my job as a fun and not as a burden....and very soon this wish of mine was fulfilled. I came to this place last year July. Again by Almighty's grace I started working in a hospital with every sort of flexibility and liberty. No burden at all...no boss, no seniors, flexible hrs (choose your own working days). So basically, I was completely relaxed and what I wished, I got that. I must be very satisfied..Was I? No, because I was deprived of social life over here ...so what could I do with my flexible hrs and leisure time. What does it convey...you get something and u start looking for something else...So basically U end up becoming unhappy for something that u don’t have and not just happy for getting something that u had wished for once... To wrap it up, as on today, I try to follow the "Sab Maya hai" or "Sab Time Pass hai”concept which helps me to take life as it comes to me. Does it mean stop having dreams and desires?? U can/should dream and fight for your wishes and desires to be fulfilled, but not the extent of leaving yourself with a sense of forever incompleteness, sadness, dissatisfaction. Take it easy folks, it’s all Time Pass. The sooner u learn it, the happier u would be...
So don’t take your life too seriously, otherwise u wouldn't come out of it alive and don’t read this blog too seriously, otherwise u will be entangled with Maya and Time pass.
Will tell you another incident later; have to go now for another time pass.
Take a pause and think for 2minutes, How many times have you used the above statement to reduce your friend’s distress, to relieve your mother from a worrying thought that she is occupied with, to console your classmate who fear of failing in examination, to sympathise with a colleague of yours who is on the verge of losing his job and you will come out with many such situations.
There are different ways and we can have our own style of comforting somebody who is undergoing some sort of emotional despair. But does that help him/her? It’s difficult to answer this question but at least we can make an attempt to understand the right ways to do so. Let’s think about few things that one should avoid while giving emotional support to a person who is undergoing any kind of despair and grief.
a) Don’t overdo it. Avoid any kind of show off i.e. don’t pretend to be disheartened to the extent of repeating “Oh! I am sorry, I feel sorry for what happened with you”. This will make the person annoyed rather than reducing his/her pain.
b) Avoid using sentences like, “don’t worry you will be fine”, “Just try to relax, I am sure things will be fine with you”. By using such sentences you are dismissing someone’s emotion and not addressing it properly. Such sentences do not lead to anywhere and do not even let the distressed person to vent out his/her emotion.
c) Avoid gossiping. Don’t make someone’s grief your topic of discussion. “How it happened, when it happened, where it happened”, all these can be discussed later. It doesn’t show your concern rather your curiosity.
d) Avoid being judgemental. “It must have happened because of your carelessness”, saying so you will give your judgement about the person and he/she would not like it. It will make the person reluctant to share any of his/her worries to you.
By following little few things we can extend our emotional support to a distressed person.
a) Be yourself. Try to behave as natural as possible and don’t pretend to be something which you are not. You will be liked and appreciated for what you are.
b) Address the emotion. Try to address the emotion by your active listening, facilitating the communication, and being with the person in true sense.
c) Open-ended question will help the person to vent out his emotions. Don’t feel uncomfortable in asking questions like “How do you feel about it, what is going on in your mind, How do you want to react to this situation”. You never know, these questions may bring out the underlying grief and despair of the person.
d) Practice some positive gestures. Don’t be hesitant if you see the distressed person wants a hug from you or want you to hold his/her hands. It helps him/her to release his/her suppressed pain in the form of cry, shouting which will be a great vent out for the person.
It’s not important for a friend of yours that how much time did you spend with him when he was undergoing a gloomy phase of life, what matters more is how did you spend your time with him. Remember emotion is not something which you can sort out quickly by saying few things like don’t worry, everything will be fine with you, which sounds very meaningful to you but may be equally meaningless for your friend. It needs your time, your quality time, it needs you to empathise and not just sympathise, in order to be addressed properly.
This is something which of great importance not only in our personal life but is equally important when a Psychologist is counselling his client, a Doctor talking to his patient, a Marketing Professional trying to convince his customers, and also when a leader is addressing a crowd.
As you all already know i was on leave for 2 weeks. Thats because i was
holidaying with my family.. We went to --
1. Kolkata - lovely hoogly river ( now polluted ) , howrah bridge,
huge shopping malls, d city of clubs, yellow taxis ( non ac ambassadors ) ,
too much traffic and jams..
2. Darjeeling - beautiful hills, green tea estates, nice cool mausam ...
also pollution, smoke, broken roads, too much crowd, dirt n clutter,
traffic jams !!!!
3. Gangtok - sikkims natural beauty, lakes, hills, greenery.. also
traffic jams lasting 1-2 hours!, smoke n air pollution !!
I noticed k God ne tan apan nu bahut sohna, clean, green, beautiful
country ditta but apaan aap enu khraab kita e.. eni popultion aa k har
jagah dhakke pende aa.. ena pollution aa k hill station te v saah lena
aukha becoz hawa eni gandi hai with car smoke !!
So ki kariye k apna country jina sohna hai ona hi rahe for all the
generations to come ?? What are your suggestions..
ps : the photo attached is on the way to nathu la pass ( china border )
from gangtok..
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