Senior citizens are now a largely neglected lot. Most of them live, not as a matter of choice, but as a matter of compulsion, in some old age home or the other, where they manage to find new relationships with people of their own age. Literally every single father or mother, above sixty five years old, at this point in time, is in a nearly hopeless situation.
We need to understand and address the emotional needs of such people.
Public perception is that most of them are not in tune with the needs of the present generation. There is a tendency to believe that they do not adjust quickly with the younger generation. Worse, most women above the age of sixty five, are supposed to be horrible creatures who do not adjust with their modern mothers-in-law.
The reality, is of course, totally different. The senior citizens are capable of adjusting to any situation. In fact, in Mumbai, where they live with their children in very small apartments, such senior citizens adjust to the maximum extent. They have their small society, they mix with people of their own age, and do a lot of taking care of the problems of each of their son's or daughter's houses. For instance,they wait for any urgent courier, go up to the apartment complex watchman, instruct him to call up when the courier person comes, and then keep on following up till the courier parcel is physically received by them. All this, when the son and the daughter in-law would be so busy and would be home at around 8 PM every day.
The old man simply expects the son to just make a small inquiry about the courier, even if the man is so busy. The son should understand that the father had taken so much pains to receive the courier in good condition.
At old age, the senior citizens just have a very big need: they need someone to just talk to. They would like to regularly go down memory lane, talk about their good old days when they were earning, and how affectionate they were to their children. They would talk about every single occasion when they saved even a small amount, and how, in today's conditions, all that they had saved, was just not enough.
In short, they would want to share their own joys, sorrows, happy moments, and worries as well. They want to be perfectly normal human beings. Of course, with every advancing year, when they become older, they have physical problems, and tend to behave like children. They would do a few things that would irritate the younger generation, and tend to draw the attention of everyone. They would feel very happy when someone where to ask very generously and very worriedly about their health condition.
Contrary to public perception, old people are not afraid of death -- particularly those who had lived in different parts of the country. Such of these people do have far better adjustment capabilities and are very practical when they think about their death or talk about it. In fact, they reassure their life partners that everything will be fine, even if either of them were to pass away, and infuse a lot of confidence about children.
However, there are many senior citizens who are very much afraid of their own death. It turns out that they have fears: that death could be painful, that death could occur after a huge amount of suffering and so on.
Let us accept for a moment that an increasingly large number of senior citizens are now housed in old age homes. There are so many of them, and some of them have the most sophisticated of amenities, such as swimming pools and jogging tracks -- these are for the really rich, who actually buy such cozy living spaces to spend the rest of their lives after happily renting out their big apartments or houses.
The unfortunate ones live in old age homes run by charitable organization or the other. They do not have any worries, except that they need someone to talk to and relate.to.
It is only such of these people that society needs to address. Let the school and college children of every college in the vicinity of such old age homes spend a couple of hours with such old people, write a letter for them, talk to them about their good old days, crack jokes with them, help them to share their own lighter moments and even dance with them.
Let such children understand that the senior citizens have nothing but a few years to live. Once they share their precious moments with them, they will happily live such wonderful moments and recollect each of that in informal conversations with other old age people in the same homes they live in.
The children could also arrange the sons or daughters of such old people to turn up at such homes, at least once in three months, and spend a few moments. If this is done on Sundays, it will help the younger generation, as they will not be in much of a hurry.
Once the senior citizens understand that there are still some people who care a little for them, that they also have lives that can be meaningful, even if they live only for a few years. It is always a wise proposition to invest some time in talking to senior citizens who do not live in old age homes.
There are neighbors who are senior citizens. Many of them visit their relatives, who might be known to us. We could call on them, talk to them a little bit. Of course, if we can give some money or clothes whenever possible, it will please the poor among senior citizens a world of good.
It is also essential that those who are sick are extended some help or the other. Many responsible younger generation people, for example, physically guide them to cross the road, go the nearest doctor, attend to some relative's wedding and so on. These are small things, but these small things could really address the emotional needs of senior citizens.
Hence, let us all do something to address the emotional needs of senior citizens.