Marriage is a very important social institution in India.  It is the only institution that binds our Indian society together, and also takes us forward in terms of sanctity to such a sacred institution.  However, in recent times, there have a huge tendency to go in for extra marital relationships, among all social classes and people at all economic strata of society.

What is really disturbing is the fact that this goes on without the slightest guilt.  In fact, children are born out of such bad relationships, and the future of such children is always bleak, as the second woman in the relationship is often not legally married to the man.

Worse, huge amounts of money and time is spent by either partners in satisfying their lust and their so-called needs for companionship.

Why does an extra-marital relationship happen at all?  It often happens because either of the partners does not find something they so badly want from the other life partner.  Mostly, this happens when the wife does not match the husband's expectations, and is most acute when the girl is from a semi-urban or rural area, and the husband id from a metro city.

The man would tend to think that his wife should wear the most modern clothes, and also accompany him to the pub.  This is absolutely not fine with the girl, who would rather stick to her own ways of dressing and behaving and would be quite religious, and whatever she does, she would think, would satisfy her husband in some way or the other.  

This never happens and the man starts looking at other women, mostly, from within his working circle.  Even the slightest nod from the other woman is enough to ignite the man into a new world of extra-marital relationships.

Money is also an important consideration in some marriages.  When the woman does not find her husband a good person in terms of earning potential, she turns to the other man in her close circle, and those men who have enough money exploit this weakness to the maximum, for sexual satisfaction.  However, such relationships do not last very long, for either partner becomes very bored, and starts looking for something else.  

Another dimension of the extra marital relationship pertains to dowry related problems.  When the girl sees that her husband is a greedy person, only keen on extracting the maximum money from her, she turns her attention to someone who is kind and considerate.  If this is a neighbor, irrespective of the person's marital status, a new relationship starts and ends up in bed == the urge for sex starts to show rather early in such relationships.

Extra-marital relationships are very bad in India.  If the children are grown up, such relationships can have disastrous effect on the mental make-up of children, who have very disturbing experiences.  If there are murders in the family, due to such extra-marital relationships, the entire world crumbles for such children, since they start losing parental affection for ever, and at times, when the family is rich, greedy relatives take over.  Such relatives often take care of the children, but somehow do some planning to corner away all the wealth.  This is a very common story in many cases.

Yet another effect of extra-marital relationships is the effect it has on the society.  Nothing happens without the knowledge of the society. At times, the man is blackmailed by some cunning man, who would threaten the man to disclose everything to his legal wife.  He would demand money every now and then, and such things even end up in murder.

There are a huge number of instances, when the woman teams up with her new partner in the relationship, and woes to kill her legal husband.  Such killings can have disastrous effect on the children borne out of the legal marriage, and the children grow up to become robbers or maladjusted men and women.

Extra-marital relationships can be easily avoided, if the man or woman is adjustable and accommodating in nature.  For example, in one particular case, the girl was from a very ordinary middle-class family and born and brought up in a small town.  The husband was born and brought up in Mumbai.  When she shifted to Mumbai, the girl automatically changed herself, and when she learned that her husband would like her to wear only the sleeveless blouses every day, she happily went shopping for the same with her husband and surprised him by wearing it immediately at home.

Her husband could not believe what he saw.  He immediately requested her to wear the same on every day, to the office.  She happily obliged.  She qualified herself further, took the bank examination for a promotion, and landed a good job as an officer, within just fifteen months.

At home, she learned to cook the best of vegetarian Mumbai dishes for her husband and other relatives.

The moral of the aforesaid story is simple: slight adjustments between the husband and wife, leads to better understanding, and love.  Mutual trust and love in turn, would bring happiness.  Caring and sharing is an integral part of such relationships when the partners learn to adjust to each other.

We can also adapt to such situations and the parents in particular, need to educate their sons and daughters about the need to understand their life partners, adjust to their likes and dislikes and also learn to appreciate the good points of the partner.  All this will help in the nurturing of a very good marital relationship, thus nullifying the need for any extra-marital relationships.

The role of counselors is vital too.  The slightest of disturbances in the family can be immediately brought to the notice of professional counselors, who will in turn, chip in with their professional help.  Once this happens, most marriages can work, and the extra-marital relationships can be avoided.

Those living in flats and apartments need to take further care.  Any small disturbance in marital relationships should be brought to the notice of parents on either side.  Remedial action should be immediately taken, to avoid any problem.  The role of neighbors can be crucial here.

Extra-marital relationships can cause immense harm to the family and wider society.  There is an urgent need to nip them in the mud and totally do away with them, though appropriate action.