The spate of child rapes that took place in India in the recent months, despite stringent and tougher laws point out assertively to one single point, that no matter how tough and stringent anti rape laws may be, fail to create a deterrent effect, if the law enforcement falls flat in implementing them.
These waves of child rapes taught the citizens a lesson that blaming the administration is an exercise in futility. People learned that they themselves have to protect themselves and their children from the clutches of the child abusers.
In this background, this article made an attempt to provide a few tips to the parents in order to safeguard their's and their children's interests.
Before we go deep in to the details pertaining to child safety, it becomes necessary to know about the psyche of a child abuser
Psychologists opine that the child rapists have a very specific psychological trait. That specific psychological trait centers around 'Child abuse.' The psychologists assertively attribute the reason behind this behaviour to a personality disorder.
The black holes existing in their personality disorder generate perversions, which in turn makes them oriented towards sexual exploitation of children.
The trait of exploiting the children originates from inferiority complex.
People with inferiority complex cannot tolerate criticism. Their self esteem is extremely low. The quality of 'self- loathing' is predominantly visible.They always think low of themselves. They show least interest in mixing with people and turn away from making relationships with adults. This trait makes them turn towards children. Their mind is busy with plans of committing criminal acts. They never think of others feelings and beliefs.They can lie with utmost ease and effortlessly, which look very convincing and genuine.
The strategy of a child abuser.
Contrary to the popular belief, a child abuser looks like a villain in a C grade Bollywood movie, with a scar on the face, a child abuser looks very normal. His very first and foremost strategy is to win the trust of the people around. They make everybody, especially children feel comfortable around him in his presence.
Owing to this down to earth looks and deeds of a child abuser, none can suspect or doubt his sinister nature. And it is for the same reason, a child innocently falls in the trap of a child abuser.
The parents too are so sure of the nature of the child abuser, that they refuse to believe, even if their own child, who is subjected to abuse complains of the abuse. The parents dismiss it as an innocent child talk. So, in such a state of confusion, the child prefers to remain silent. This is the reason, why many child molestation cases will not see the light.
Sociological point of view.
If you observe the ways and modes adopted by child abusers while committing the heinous act of molestation, you will not fail to see the nucleus of the problem is 'The changing Society.'
The present day society is bogged down in extreme conditions. The gap between inadequacy and plenty has grown alarmingly high. Prior to 1990, the conditions were different. Migrations from rural to urban regions were quite low, because of the reasons attributed to community and caste factors. In addition to this, livelihood opportunities in rural areas were adequate.
After 1990, the scenario changed Owing to extreme ecological abuse, drought conditions completely dried up the livelihood of rural populace. This led to a mass exodus of the ruralites to the urban areas.
Ever on the move.
Deprived of their livelihood, people from rural regions started migrating to urban areas in search of livelihood in an unprecedented scale.This condition escalated the rise in urban population to such an extent that India has become the number one country in the world that has the largest urban population below the poverty line.
The migrants are forced to live in dreary conditions within the large expanse of the urban space.
Inadequacy, a cause for anger and discontentment..
Social scientists say, anger and discontentment is one of the causes for the steep rise in recent rape cases in India.This trait is more visible in younger generation. They always are on the look out for an opportunity to retaliate. To settle the scores. To take vengeance on the society that forced them to live a wretched life.
To vent out the anger they look for easy targets. Children and women are easy targets.
A rapist, as mentioned earlier in this article is a person with inferiority complex. Mentally weak. Has no feelings with regards to other people's beliefs and feelings. Hence for a rapist, molesting means that he has established a kind of control over the victim. A show of superiority is clearly visible in the activities of a child abuser.This self gratification is the main objective of a child abuser. Not the lust and sexual gratification .
Hence, it can be concluded that a child abuser's ulterior motive is 'a show of power Rather than sexual gratification.
Be on your guard.
Parents should get rid of the belief that, children are above the board. That nobody would harm them is a forgotten chapter. As a parent, it's your responsibility to see around and live accordingly. As it was mentioned, child abusers are all around us there is no way to recognize them. Teach your child not to move far away from the home, even when your child wants to play with friends. The best bet would be to make her habituated to indoor games.
Don't depend on laws and legislation. The stark reality is mere legislations and anti-rape laws cannot take care of each and every child.
Give a patient hearing to your child's complaints. Don't brush them away. If she complains of a person, even known and well acquainted person with the family. Don't dismiss saying, 'A childish talk.'
Whenever there s a news about a rape shown on TV. discuss with your child along with the family members using words in accordance with her age. The idea is to caution the child and inject awareness in the child about unsafe conditions in the society.
Ensure, one of the parents are by the side of the child, while she goes to school and comes from the school.
Keep an eye on the unusual movements of the child. As far as possible, see the child is within your observation range. This precaution has to be taken by the parents in turns.
Caution the child in no uncertain terms not to talk with unknown persons. Not to get lured by the offerings and treats from an unknown person.
Parents should know, most of the child abuses are perpetrated by those with whom the child has a trusted relationship. Hence, the parents are advised not to be complacent with the familiar and known persons also.
Know the signs of sexual abuse.
Children fear to divulge that they were sexually abused,but one cannot miss a few signs that tell all.
For example, if a child refuses to go to certain places where she used to go without hesitation earlier. Or if she shows fear to go with a person, with whom, she used to go without hesitation earlier, parents are advised to probe in to the matter and find out the reason.
An otherwise active child, suddenly withdraws and chooses a corner of the home and indulges in brooding, parents should extract the reason for the child's moody behaviour by coaxing and cajoling.
If the child walks and sits with difficulty, parents should look in to the matter.
Self help is the only way.
Parents should be on their guard without waiting and hoping for external help. Parents should expect the unexpected.Alertness and caution should be the watch words as far as the child safety is concerned.