Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with cat it would improve man, but it would...

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

When in doubt, tell the truth.