Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is...

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.