Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.

During the 1960s, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered.

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.

I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own.

I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own.

I like boring things.

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?

I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money...

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.