It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.

Alcohol is a very necessary article... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do...

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only...

Majesty: when a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares it as his duty.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

He who has never hoped can never despair.

Without art the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.