My first poem on boddunan.

I am writing my first poem here. I had written it about 5 years ago when I was in class Seven. Please do rate it and give some advice. Actually, I could not save the whole copy of the poem, while I was arranging my books, I re-found it between them.

£ãÀ¦ããè ½ããù ÀÖãè ¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ


£ãÀ¦ããè ½ããù ÀÖãè ¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ,
¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ Ôãìã Êããñ,
ØãìÊãã½ããè, „Ÿ ÀÖãè ¦ãÊãÌããÀ,
„Ôã‡ãŠãè £ããÀ Ôãìã Êããñ,
£ãÀ¦ããè ½ããù ÀÖãè ¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ,
¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ Ôãìã Êããñ ý

†‡ãŠ ºããÀ ªñŒãÊãñ ‚ã¹ãããè ÔãÀãè ãä•ãâªØããè,
ªÊã-ºãªÊã ãä½ãÊãòØãñ Ôãºã,
‚ããõÀ ½ããõ¦ã Ôããè ãä•ãâªØããè,
ŒããÔã Öõ ¾ãÖ ‚ãºã ¦ããñ ‡ãŠãè,
‡ãŠÀ ÀÖãè Öõ ‚ãºã ãä£ã‡ã‹‡ãŠãÀ,
ãä£ã‡ã‹‡ãŠãÀ Ôãìã Êããñ,
£ãÀ¦ããè ½ããù ÀÖãè ¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ,
¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ Ôãìã Êããñ ý

‚ã‡ãŠãÊã Öõ •ããñ ‚ãºã ¹ãü¡ã,
ÔããâÔãñ ¼ããè „ûŒã¡ ÀÖãè,
¹ãÀãéªãñ ãä‡ãŠ ãäºãÔãã¦ã ‡ã‹¾ãã ?
ºããÀãéÍãñ „ºãÊã ÀÖãè,
½ããè•ãã•ã •ããñ Öõ £ãìâ£ãÊããã,
ºã¾ããÀ Ôãìã Êããñ,
£ãÀ¦ããè ½ããù ÀÖãè ¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ,
¹ãì‡ãŠãÀ Ôãìã Êããñ ý