What a FUN !!!

Ha Ha. Nice one.Very funny to read.

SOME CHOTU MOTU FUNNNN :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
(Some Jokes might not be suitable for some users.. Kindly read at own risk :P )


* Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!



* Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several
women happy!



* A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!




* How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to
the keyhole instead of his eye!



* Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka
helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.
Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !



* Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.



* Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati,
or Sarasvati hai.
Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.



* Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano
Car........preferab ly with Gas Kit!!!


* What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to
win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?


* 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a
logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without
drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke


* There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job,
Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right.




* Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se
paisa, Paise se izzat.Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !



* Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
Bidi Piyegi ?



* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000



* When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears
flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru
la...



* Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.



* Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper
Ultra..
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!



* In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36



* Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte hai????????? ??

JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......



* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.



* Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!



* An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.



* Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man
nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana



* Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life
we do naked.



* Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di



* Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do



* Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?



* Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
ka hi hota hai.



* Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.


SELECT ONE THAT MADE YOU SMILE :)

A man was talking to the Lord about women. "Lord why did you make women so beautiful?"

The answer came, "So you would look at them."

Again the man asked, "Lord why did you make women so lovely?"

The reply came down, "So you would love them."

The man asked one more question. "Lord, why did you make women so dumb?"

The Lord said, "So they would love you."

Priests on vacation: Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.

The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father" nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father" and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it and said. "Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?"

"Oh, Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!" :woohoo:

For the sick: Paul, a little boy was in church one Sunday with his mother, when he started feeling sick. "Mommy," he said, "can we leave now?"

"No" the mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

After about sixty seconds, Paul returned to his seat.

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick'."

Thanks Amit,
For your stress bursting jokes.

I could not control laughing loudly after reading your following joke.

"* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko".

Good, keep it up.

Sridhar Kesireddy

Would you like to watch Star plus channel on your mobile 24 hours * 7 days a week for free?
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Press '*' key followed by '+' key. That's it. Now you can see Star plus on your mobile :laugh:

(This can be best understood by those who can understand Tamil).

King & Queen did not have mobile phones those days. So they used pigeons as a messenger.
One day Queen sent a pigeon without legs. Do you know why?
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It was a 'Missed call'. Please don't cry or hit me :laugh:
( In tamil call means leg . I hope now you can understand the joke)

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." :) :cheer: :laugh: :woohoo: :silly:

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.
There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. He saw a pack of stones to pass time.
He started throwing the stone into the sea.

While having the last stone in the hand, the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond and all the stones he threw were diamonds as well.

He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea...

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman.
"I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."


If you want me to keep posting these jokes.. I expect some replies.

So,this fun centre is getting more popular.. very good...

Math's Teacher: If you hav e 12 choclates and you


Give 5 to Priya,
3 to Anita and
4 to Kavitha
Then what will u get????





Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

Enjoyed reading good ones, nice good jokes

This is really very good and the nice one i enjot this one .