IT Humour

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Tech Support: What does the screen say now?

Person: It says "Hit ENTER when ready".

Tech Support: Well?

Person: How do I know when it's ready?

TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already,
three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she
had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with
astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and
drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium
in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke,
drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.


Which of these candidates would be your choice?


Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

-------------------------------------------------------------


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.


And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES . . .



. . . you just killed Beethoven - Gr8 musician

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Great!

In a computer class-
"Can anybody of you tell with what are chips inside the computer made of?"

"Potato, if I am not mistaken"!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
All the jokes are very very witty.

A computer teacher, sees a student busily searching the screen for something. So, the teahcer asks: "What is it that you are searching?"

The student replies- "Mam.. I see the 'Start' button, So I am just looking for the 'Stop' button.!

Also, I have doubt... I see that the machine is running even before I click on the 'Run' option..?How come??"

A programmer working in Microsoft had been missing from work for over a week . His colleagues tried to reach him through his mobile but there was no answer. So they gave a complaint to police.

The police went to his house and broke the door down as there was no response after pressing calling bell several times. They found him dead in the bathroom with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.It seems he was having a shower bath.

The instructions on the bottle said:

* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo
* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Very very funny... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Keep it up Meean...

Smartest Man

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. "I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane. "I'm the smarest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane." "You don't have to stay here! The world's smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Kumaresh that was cool one. you made me laugh thanks.

Thanks Jayen!!
I also liked it very much.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

good collection of jokes, thanks for sharing..

Dear Friend,

It has been really hard to find any IT related Jokes. You have been come out with really good one.

Regards,
Bharat.

Hi friend have you know microsoft word
then a employee said well sir give me a time i will go to microsoft and ask him.

Is it kiddind.

Thanks for sharing these jokes guys.These were really very humorous.