Does our society welcome single parents??

Until a few years ago, the concept of single mother was not very welcomed, if it was a widow then she had the support of the family, but for a divorced, separated or unwed mother, she was not at all welcomed but found it very difficult to raise a child. I remember, when actress Neena Gupta gave birth to  a child born out of her affair with Sir Viv Richards,it was a great scandal and much talked about. But now with more education and open approach, more and more women choose to remain single, some even adopting children without getting married, Sushmita Sen for example. Society is now becoming more open and friendlier to such women.

Marriage and parenting is a person's personal choice. There is always two side of a coin, similarly, single parenting and parenting in wedlock have their own pros and cons. Not all married parents are a good parents and not all single parents are bad parents for a child. The financial burden for a single parent can be more than a married parent slightly but the quality of parenting solely depends on the relationship between a parent and child. Adoption agency prefer married parents over single parents while handing over a child. But there are cases, where single parents have been a better parent for the child. The factors that an adoption agency look for in a parent are financial stability, a proper house, and health of the prospective adoptive parents, if a single parent fulfills these requirement then a single parent can also adopt a child. If the adoption agency is reluctant in giving the child to single parent then the single parent can file a complaint considering the law of the adoption agencies that states single female parents can adopt a child. Although, single male parents are not allowed to adopt a female child according to the law of adoption. I believe the child and parent choose who they want to be with, whether it is a single parent or married parent.  

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

Until a few years ago, the concept of single mother was not very welcomed, if it was a widow then she had the support of the family, but for a divorced, separated or unwed mother, she was not at all welcomed but found it very difficult to raise a child. I remember, when actress Neena Gupta gave birth to  a child born out of her affair with Sir Viv Richards,it was a great scandal and much talked about. But now with more education and open approach, more and more women choose to remain single, some even adopting children without getting married, Sushmita Sen for example. Society is now becoming more open and friendlier to such women.

It is easier for celebrities and affluent people as the expectations differ for them

No doubt our society is changing regarding this issue. My own aunt was separated from her husband after 4 years of marriage after he got involved with another lady. My aunt was earning , so financially she had no problems in bringing up her two children with absolutely no help from their father . He would visit when he felt like and give her advise on how to bring up " His" children giving some pocket money to them.. zBut she had to suffer all the insults and barbs as to why he left her because she was unable to hold on to him etc..he of course happily went on to the several women with no problem at all.. Thankfully, she had full support of her maternal family and his family too. 

Things have come a long way in the past two decades and now no one really cares and are not quick to judge either ..

usha manohar wrote:

No doubt our society is changing regarding this issue. My own aunt was separated from her husband after 4 years of marriage after he got involved with another lady. My aunt was earning , so financially she had no problems in bringing up her two children with absolutely no help from their father . He would visit when he felt like and give her advise on how to bring up " His" children giving some pocket money to them.. zBut she had to suffer all the insults and barbs as to why he left her because she was unable to hold on to him etc..he of course happily went on to the several women with no problem at all.. Thankfully, she had full support of her maternal family and his family too. 

Things have come a long way in the past two decades and now no one really cares and are not quick to judge either ..

An incredible lady to go through so much!

Definitely all these societal notions change with the time with more empowered individuals. Empowered with education and financial independence. But the sad point or drawback is that individuals are getting empowered but the society as a whole is not able to keep a pace with that. That is the main reason for the differences and the taboo being associated with such incidences. Hopefully with changing time, we will have empowered society.

Arunima Singh wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

No doubt our society is changing regarding this issue. My own aunt was separated from her husband after 4 years of marriage after he got involved with another lady. My aunt was earning , so financially she had no problems in bringing up her two children with absolutely no help from their father . He would visit when he felt like and give her advise on how to bring up " His" children giving some pocket money to them.. zBut she had to suffer all the insults and barbs as to why he left her because she was unable to hold on to him etc..he of course happily went on to the several women with no problem at all.. Thankfully, she had full support of her maternal family and his family too. 

Things have come a long way in the past two decades and now no one really cares and are not quick to judge either ..

An incredible lady to go through so much!

Definitely all these societal notions change with the time with more empowered individuals. Empowered with education and financial independence. But the sad point or drawback is that individuals are getting empowered but the society as a whole is not able to keep a pace with that. That is the main reason for the differences and the taboo being associated with such incidences. Hopefully with changing time, we will have empowered society.

I agree that there are still certain sections where any deviation from the norm for a woman is still a taboo. We keep hearing all those horror stories from Haryana and other states where the Panchayat still rules..

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

Until a few years ago, the concept of single mother was not very welcomed, if it was a widow then she had the support of the family, but for a divorced, separated or unwed mother, she was not at all welcomed but found it very difficult to raise a child. I remember, when actress Neena Gupta gave birth to  a child born out of her affair with Sir Viv Richards,it was a great scandal and much talked about. But now with more education and open approach, more and more women choose to remain single, some even adopting children without getting married, Sushmita Sen for example. Society is now becoming more open and friendlier to such women.

Adopting child is Nobel deed and all must be praise it. But having child by a unmarried woman is not accepted in our society.

Things ve changed for better nowadays. Earlier it was not accepted, but nowadays people are gradually accepting them. But as Anil has mentioned, comparatively speaking the society tends to accept the divorcee, adoption more easily that children born out of wedlock.

@ Vishakha,as far as I know a single male can adopt female child but there should be an age gap of 21 years. Same is the case with female. If single female wants to adopt male child there should be an age difference of at least 21 years

@Jabeen Single male parent can only adopt a male child not a female child according to the laws of adoption. Single male parent are not allowed to adopt a girl child according to the guidelines of the adoption agency. As I have been reading adoption guidelines for sometime.

Arunima Singh wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

Until a few years ago, the concept of single mother was not very welcomed, if it was a widow then she had the support of the family, but for a divorced, separated or unwed mother, she was not at all welcomed but found it very difficult to raise a child. I remember, when actress Neena Gupta gave birth to  a child born out of her affair with Sir Viv Richards,it was a great scandal and much talked about. But now with more education and open approach, more and more women choose to remain single, some even adopting children without getting married, Sushmita Sen for example. Society is now becoming more open and friendlier to such women.

It is easier for celebrities and affluent people as the expectations differ for them

If you talk in terms of money and facilities, then yes, it is easy for them. But on the other hand, the focus and attention of people is much more on the celebrities at the same time and their every action and statement is analysed and criticised in public. So I guess, there is not much of a difference when it comes to raising kids or leading personal lives.

Vishakha Purohit wrote:

@Jabeen Single male parent can only adopt a male child not a female child according to the laws of adoption. Single male parent are not allowed to adopt a girl child according to the guidelines of the adoption agency. As I have been reading adoption guidelines for sometime.

Please refer to The Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act,1956(HAMA). I too was interested in adopting a child and ve been going through the guidelines and articles related to adoption

Adoption in India is not at all an easy process , can take up to 4 or 5 years from what I know. Recently, my niece adopted a female baby who was 8 months old but the process is not complete and the baby was not given to her. She wrote to the concerned authorities and asked them, what was the point in getting the baby after the process is complete which may take another four Years. Anyway, now the baby is with her but tje legal process may not be completed for sometime yet..

@Jabeen, The Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act,1956(HAMA).

(Clause from the law, Chapter 2, 'Adoption', Part 7) 7. Capacity of a male Hindu to take in adoption- Any male Hindu who is of sound mind and is not a minor has the capacity to take a son or a daughter in adoption. Provided that, if he has a wife living, he shall not adopt except with the consent of his wife unless the wife has completely and finally renounced the world or has ceased to be a Hindu or has been declared by a court of competent jurisdiction to be of unsound mind. Explanation-If a person has more than one wife living at the time of adoption, the consent of all the wives is necessary unless the consent of any one of them is unnecessary for any of the reasons specified in the preceding proviso. 

@Jabeen, This clause of the The Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act,1956(HAMA), states that a male parent can adopt a boy or girl provided, he is married and with the consent of his wife, he can adopt any child.

@Jabeen, The Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act,1956(HAMA).

(Clause from the law, Chapter 2, 'Adoption', Part 8) 8. Capacity of a female Hindu to take in adoption- Any female Hindu- (a) who is of sound mind, (b) who is not a minor, and (c) who is not married, or if married, whose marriage has been dissolved or whose husband is dead or has completely and finally renounced the world or has ceased to be a Hindu or has been declared by a court of competent jurisdiction to be of unsound mind, has the capacity to take a son or daughter in adoption. 

Anything deviating from the old indian culture does raise few eyebrows... specially in the inner parts of the country. As far as cities are concerned, i feel even if its not encourage, most will not look down upon single parents. ( Mostly because no one has much time for peeping into others lives). I have seen people extended a helping to single mothers. But not sure how this can be generalized or if it can be generalized at all.

@ Vishakha

I ve not gone through the whole text of HAMA,1956 but I ve read an article in which it was mentioned that a single man or woman can adopt a child of opposite sex provided that there is at least an age difference of 21 years. May be I had interpreted it wrongly. Anyway please refer to http://www.thealternative.in/societies/adoption-law-in-india/

Even urban India is not welcoming this change in our old traditional mindset. Recently I met one single mom, whose child of three was declined admissions to many leading playschools before she finally got her admitted to an International school with Montessori set up. She has a child out of wedlock from her American boyfriend, They could not get married due to some parental liabilities. She came to India to take care of her ailing parents while the guy is still in US. She takes her daughter to US for holidays or sometimes father comes to visit her daughter.  

Arunima Singh wrote:

Even urban India is not welcoming this change in our old traditional mindset. Recently I met one single mom, whose child of three was declined admissions to many leading playschools before she finally got her admitted to an International school with Montessori set up. She has a child out of wedlock from her American boyfriend, They could not get married due to some parental liabilities. She came to India to take care of her ailing parents while the guy is still in US. She takes her daughter to US for holidays or sometimes father comes to visit her daughter.  

 

I am surprised to read that a school can deny admission just because the mother is not married. I am not aware of many laws but this particular denial is definitely illegal. I am curious to know which city did this happen in, because I do know some people personally whose children were born out of wedlock but did not go through such incidents. Usually, besides just raising eyebrows or being talked about, such kids and their moms are normally accepted in urban societies.