Arranged marriage vs Love marriage

There is no need to encourage love marriages. Just don't discourage these and also try to support or protect the prospective groom and bride from repercussions if any. 

It is all a matter of individual choices. A person cannot be forced to fall in love with another person just like that, it happens and should happen naturally. I had an arranged marriage but if I had fallen in love with someone, I would have gone for the love marriage, but fact is, I did not. So it depends from person to person.

Mine is a marriage that comes under none of these. We knew each other before marriage but it does not mean we were dating or anything. I asked my mother to approach her family and all was settled in first meeting. Now what would you call that? I think it is a personal choice that has no Best, better, good or bad in that. 

My marriage was an arranged Marriage.  Marriage of my two daughters and my son  are Love marriages and inter caste marriages too. All 0f them are doing well without any hassles. Hence what I feel is both arranged marriage and Love marriage can work. Nothing can be generalized.specifically that only a particular kind of marriage will work or doesn't work.

It is left to the individuals concerned...there are positive and negative points in both arranged and love marriages ! Marriages can and do fail in both situations .

suni51 wrote:

Mine is a marriage that comes under none of these. We knew each other before marriage but it does not mean we were dating or anything. I asked my mother to approach her family and all was settled in first meeting. Now what would you call that? I think it is a personal choice that has no Best, better, good or bad in that. 

Best one, any marriage with consent of parents is best one. Marriage not only relation of boy and girl, it is relation between two families. I am against marriage which is without consent of parents.

It all depends on individual choice. Both love and arrange marriage go well if couple understand and love each other. Mine is love marriage and have been doing really good. 

Arranged marriages take place only in India, Pakistan and Middle East where mingling of sexes is not allowed or frowned upon. It is a outdated practice and on my visits to the west and Russia have not seen it. It needs to be discarded as arrranged marriages have lots of ills like dowry etc.

In my community, nowadays arranged love marriages are taking place. Twice a year all the interested eligible boys and girls frm the community gather together and meet. Last May there was one such occasion and apparently there were more than 200 eligibles from both genders and as many as 34 pairs were formed..it gives the freedom to choose and opportunity for the parents to evaluate etc etc and as long as it works , why not?

I haven't married yet but I would like to go for a love marriage because I think love marriage will be easier for the couple to spend their whole life together whereas about arrange marriage it will be too complicated for the couple to understand each other feelings and thinking. 

Babu saroj wrote:

I haven't married yet but I would like to go for a love marriage because I think love marriage will be easier for the couple to spend their whole life together whereas about arrange marriage it will be too complicated for the couple to understand each other feelings and thinking. 

That is a good thinking but just because you want, you cannot fall in love willfully, it happens naturally. Just in case, you see a girl and decide that you want to marry her thinking you love her, you cannot be sure if she will reciprocate or if you are really in love with her. Most of times it is infatuation which is shortlived. So you have to be very sure of that first.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

Babu saroj wrote:

I haven't married yet but I would like to go for a love marriage because I think love marriage will be easier for the couple to spend their whole life together whereas about arrange marriage it will be too complicated for the couple to understand each other feelings and thinking. 

That is a good thinking but just because you want, you cannot fall in love willfully, it happens naturally. Just in case, you see a girl and decide that you want to marry her thinking you love her, you cannot be sure if she will reciprocate or if you are really in love with her. Most of times it is infatuation which is shortlived. So you have to be very sure of that first.

Very true Kalyani, it is very thin line between physical attraction and deep feeling . There is a saying that love goes out through the window when problems come through the door. We see so many love marriages fail precisely because the couple have not spent enough time or not had the opportunity to get acclimatised with each other's personalities 

Mine is a love marriage, me and my hubby are classmates from college. But my take on love and arranged marriages is that both differ only in the fiirst one year after marriage. If its a love marriage, you need to give time to your in laws from both sides to come and mingle and become a family. Whereas in the case of arranged marriage the husband and wife need time and space to understand each other. After the first year, when both the above points are settled... then it is based of each individuals character and commitment, for the success of the marriage :) 

Divya wrote:

Mine is a love marriage, me and my hubby are classmates from college. But my take on love and arranged marriages is that both differ only in the fiirst one year after marriage. If its a love marriage, you need to give time to your in laws from both sides to come and mingle and become a family. Whereas in the case of arranged marriage the husband and wife need time and space to understand each other. After the first year, when both the above points are settled... then it is based of each individuals character and commitment, for the success of the marriage :) 

Exactly...whether it is a love marriage or an arranged one, both needs equal amount amount work, commitment and dedication, lack of which can make things sour for everyone, including the husband, wife and their respective families. Without commitment, no relationships can ever work.

Marriage is not Just a couple living under one roof. Adjustment, respect and love  are the main ingredient that make or mar a marriage, be it arranged or Love marriage.

MG Singh wrote:

Arranged marriages take place only in India, Pakistan and Middle East where mingling of sexes is not allowed or frowned upon. It is a outdated practice and on my visits to the west and Russia have not seen it. It needs to be discarded as arrranged marriages have lots of ills like dowry etc.

Dowry is evil but arrange marriage is not. West and Russia have their own customs and we have ours.

usha manohar wrote:

In my community, nowadays arranged love marriages are taking place. Twice a year all the interested eligible boys and girls frm the community gather together and meet. Last May there was one such occasion and apparently there were more than 200 eligibles from both genders and as many as 34 pairs were formed..it gives the freedom to choose and opportunity for the parents to evaluate etc etc and as long as it works , why not?

It is happening in all states and communities. Here we called it Parchiya Samelan. In it all candidates gave their introduction from stage.

usha manohar wrote:

In my community, nowadays arranged love marriages are taking place. Twice a year all the interested eligible boys and girls frm the community gather together and meet. Last May there was one such occasion and apparently there were more than 200 eligibles from both genders and as many as 34 pairs were formed..it gives the freedom to choose and opportunity for the parents to evaluate etc etc and as long as it works , why not?

Thats agood beginning but more needs to be done all over India

anil wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

In my community, nowadays arranged love marriages are taking place. Twice a year all the interested eligible boys and girls frm the community gather together and meet. Last May there was one such occasion and apparently there were more than 200 eligibles from both genders and as many as 34 pairs were formed..it gives the freedom to choose and opportunity for the parents to evaluate etc etc and as long as it works , why not?

It is happening in all states and communities. Here we called it Parchiya Samelan. In it all candidates gave their introduction from stage.

We call it as Parichaya Vedika. Here, eligible boys and Girls register   their names in the office of Paricaya Vedika . Here the boys and Girls discuss about their family Back ground, educational qualifications and other related matters freely in the presence of an arbitrator.

Divya wrote:

Mine is a love marriage, me and my hubby are classmates from college. But my take on love and arranged marriages is that both differ only in the fiirst one year after marriage. If its a love marriage, you need to give time to your in laws from both sides to come and mingle and become a family. Whereas in the case of arranged marriage the husband and wife need time and space to understand each other. After the first year, when both the above points are settled... then it is based of each individuals character and commitment, for the success of the marriage :) 

I absolutely agree with that because in the Indian context it is the same old concept of adjust and compromise, not just between the couple but the entire family and extended family on both sides..