Indian kids dominate most spelling bee contests in USA and we often see and read about those successful and super intelligent kids. But is it really good for them? Or for those who do not win. Probably, there is another side to these contests worth reading about!
Very thought provoking article. It certainly is an eye opener to those parents, who exert pressure on their offspring to achieve excellence. Such parents least bother, how it acts on the minds of the tender minds.Parents, unless they accept their children as children, parenting will prove to be counter productive. Parenting is not about making their children mere Robots.
Support and make them comfortable and make the children confident so that they become self confident. This confidence goes a long way in future to achieve lofty heights.
Weakness in parents character comes out in students behaviour and personality. Comparing with other children is a sure way of inducing hostility in one's children towards a host of emotional feelings. But in this particular case the Indians who run away from India to settle in foreign countries want to excel there through their children. Most of the immigrants had either an inferiority complex or a few had a superiority complex when they rejected their motherland to settle abroasd. It then comes out on the children.
Going and settling in foreign countries for better opportunities in living, financial gains and better education system is not wrong. The main reason is parent's bent of mind. Many are of the wrong impression that intimidating, pressurizing and other negative practices will help in shaping the child bright and intelligent. This is anything but truth. The age old belief "Dandam Dasa Gunam Bhavate" that is punishing the child will yield Ten positive results should be stopped.
There have been many debates about this and I recently saw a discussion on an Arab channel Al zaeeera where educationists shared different view points. Chinese beat Indians in this because they are extremely competitive and in their bid to become world leaders they leave no stone unturned and believe in starting young. the children are mentally tortured and terrorised as seen in some videos that are there on youtube . I guess Indians are going to same way..Personally I feel that the more relaxed the home and school atmosphere is the better students perform and become better individuals. Afterall a complete personality is not just about getting top marks and knowing your grammar and spelling. From what I have seen most f the students who get ranks in SSLC and Pre University are way down when it comes to competitive exams where common sense and intelligence is far more important than mere mugging..I always advise my students to take part in everything possible that interests them , be it debating, dramatics,music or whatever takes their fancy rather than limit themselves just to studies and study relate topics and interests !
I can recall an incident that happened in a family known to me. The parents, in order to see their their only child,as a topper in academics, always used to pressurize him in several ways., comparing their child with other children who are better in their academics has become a routine affair. This negative approach made the child, a mental wreck over a period.. The child, had developed a fierce jealousy on the other children with whom he had been compared. One day, in the playground, he had pierced the eyes of the other child with his sharpened pencil. It was only then the parents realized the ill effects of comparing the children with the other children. But it was too late. The damage has been done.
vijay wrote:The pressures of competition are very intensive and no one wants to lose the race. Those who can withstand it do good those that can not do not so good.
True...maybe ! But is it really necessary or vital to put the kids up to such fierce competition at such tender young age. Isn't it more necessary to focus on making them more sensitive and responsible instead of just scoring marks?
Making the child competitive is certainly essential. But,there is an age for everything. Wisdom lies in choosing an opportune time in order to make the child aware of competitiveness. I'm sure, without knowing these intricacies of parenting, if parents force, it amounts to negative parenting, which in turn make the child a mental wreck. I'm of the opinion, if properly guided, the child itself learns competitiveness, in a natural way during playtime. Allowing the child to grow in a natural way, pays rich dividends both to the parents and to the Society.
Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:vijay wrote:The pressures of competition are very intensive and no one wants to lose the race. Those who can withstand it do good those that can not do not so good.
True...maybe ! But is it really necessary or vital to put the kids up to such fierce competition at such tender young age. Isn't it more necessary to focus on making them more sensitive and responsible instead of just scoring marks?
Not many parents understand this..the age old belief is that a student should be with his or her books for hours together before taking any exam. Little do they focus on how much is being absorbed. One cannot concentrate on more than 30 minutes at a time. Your concentration levels come down and you need a short break. In fact the same concept is used while distributing study hours (periods ) in schools. We cannot have more than 40 minutes including interaction ..
rambabu wrote:Making the child competitive is certainly essential. But,there is an age for everything. Wisdom lies in choosing an opportune time in order to make the child aware of competitiveness. I'm sure, without knowing these intricacies of parenting, if parents force, it amounts to negative parenting, which in turn make the child a mental wreck. I'm of the opinion, if properly guided, the child itself learns competitiveness, in a natural way during playtime. Allowing the child to grow in a natural way, pays rich dividends both to the parents and to the Society.
very well said sir, i too have an opinion like this yeah we shouldn't force any child in any manner, we should let the child understand the need of this world and what all needed to live a perfect life.
usha manohar wrote:Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:vijay wrote:The pressures of competition are very intensive and no one wants to lose the race. Those who can withstand it do good those that can not do not so good.
True...maybe ! But is it really necessary or vital to put the kids up to such fierce competition at such tender young age. Isn't it more necessary to focus on making them more sensitive and responsible instead of just scoring marks?
Not many parents understand this..the age old belief is that a student should be with his or her books for hours together before taking any exam. Little do they focus on how much is being absorbed. One cannot concentrate on more than 30 minutes at a time. Your concentration levels come down and you need a short break. In fact the same concept is used while distributing study hours (periods ) in schools. We cannot have more than 40 minutes including interaction ..
Exactly Usha...and another thing I feel is whether scoring marks, remaining on top of the class from Kindergarten to graduation and later, getting a degree is what all of life is about.....How and when will people figure out that there is more to life than just marks and acquiring yet another skill during each vacation or off school hours. No focus on teaching kids to appreciate finer things of life, finer feelings, being considerate of others etc.....That is not included in any of these curricular or extra curricular activities!
what you are suggesting is perfectly right but looks too ideal today. In a society where job with a chair is seen as the ultimate such pressures will be there because such opportunities are now going down. somehow upper class Indians are still averse to taking up vocational training and jobs.
I see the attitude changing slowly but surely ...I was pleasantly surprised to see some of my students both boys and girls working in Mcdonalds and KFC joints during summer ! A couple of them were doing sales for mobile phone companies. I think this is good because they learn the value of work, money and also respect for work culture .
usha manohar wrote:I see the attitude changing slowly but surely ...I was pleasantly surprised to see some of my students both boys and girls working in Mcdonalds and KFC joints during summer ! A couple of them were doing sales for mobile phone companies. I think this is good because they learn the value of work, money and also respect for work culture
By doing summer job they are not only earning money they are also earning self confidence.
anil wrote:usha manohar wrote:I see the attitude changing slowly but surely ...I was pleasantly surprised to see some of my students both boys and girls working in Mcdonalds and KFC joints during summer ! A couple of them were doing sales for mobile phone companies. I think this is good because they learn the value of work, money and also respect for work culture
By doing summer job they are not only earning money they are also earning self confidence.
Self reliance, having confidence on one's self, positive attitude, sense of saving all these qualities will be imbibed.
vijay wrote:what you are suggesting is perfectly right but looks too ideal today. In a society where job with a chair is seen as the ultimate such pressures will be there because such opportunities are now going down. somehow upper class Indians are still averse to taking up vocational training and jobs.
It might seem ideal today but it is the right way to go... I know that upper class Indians and now even Middle class have joined them, are averse to vocational training and related professions, but that doesn't mean we give up trying. A country will remain productive and progress in the right direction only as long as people work hard with their own hands. Even if office jobs are the ones only pursued, there will still be things needed to produced, food grown with hands and I am sure, parents who can think and reason logically will understand importance of vocational training. Once IT sector was the most wanted, it still is, but during the recession period, we have seen how fragile that industry is. And there are hundreds of examples around us where young people who are innovative and enterprising are making more money in own businesses than such glamorous jobs. Not just making money for themselves, but providing livelihood to others, which is more important than any such job.
usha manohar wrote:I see the attitude changing slowly but surely ...I was pleasantly surprised to see some of my students both boys and girls working in Mcdonalds and KFC joints during summer ! A couple of them were doing sales for mobile phone companies. I think this is good because they learn the value of work, money and also respect for work culture .
Yes, Usha, it is a positive sign of changing attitudes. In Pune and Mumbai, majority of students opt to work at summer jobs which prepare them fro future careers and help shape their personality.
@kalyani