Praising your kids.

Very good article ...I agree that too much praise never helps ! Children tend to become overconfident and become lax ! It is always better to be encouraging even when they don't fare well rather than come down heavily on them and not overdo the praise bit ! In my own school one of the boys who stood second in the SSLC exams two years back was made much of with the parents inviting the staff and his entire class for lunch.But the girl who stood first was so very humble , the same with the parents .Now she has scored excellent grades in PUC and has got a free seat for medicine in one of the best colleges here , whereas he managed to get average marks and the parents  got a donation seat in one of the many Engineering colleges ..I feel the parents are to blame for his own under performance because he was an intelligent and smart boy !

The same thing happened in my own case. When I topped in my SSLC, I was over whelmed by the praises starting from my Teachers tp parents .I have become complacent and over confident. After this with great difficulty i could pass my PUC and my degree in science.

I believe that praising will make the kid work as we say to otherwise it will make difference between the kid and the parents

Why the praising the kid is not good ? There is a reason behind it. By praising the kid will become over confident and ultimately becomes complacent. Complacency is the cause for all failures.

Praising children on their achievements at the comfort of your home is a good thing that will make them confident and they would like to continue the performance next time. But there is a limit to everything. Over-praising in front of others may make them egotist and will badly affect their future performance.

Praising the child beyond a limit leads to over confidence and complacency. Complacency made the most successful people also taste the failure.

Praising should be done so as to make the person feel acknowledge for his efforts & not to make him feel that he has performed exceedingly well. At each stage there is a different challenge & if a person overcomes it he should be praised economically & a pat on the back is sufficient. A good vision & direction are critical to any Individual, if that is present then no amount of praise can make him lose his track.

Good Vision & Direction - Examples Swami Vivekananda. Great Souls are undeterred by external praises & go on to work on the means like Sachin Tendulkar with his practice, passion, Dignity & Humility.

A wonderful Article. Cleanly explained one.

Praneeth, it would be highly appreciated if you express your views How this article according to you is Wonderful

epraneeth77 wrote:

Praising should be done so as to make the person feel acknowledge for his efforts & not to make him feel that he has performed exceedingly well. At each stage there is a different challenge & if a person overcomes it he should be praised economically & a pat on the back is sufficient. A good vision & direction are critical to any Individual, if that is present then no amount of praise can make him lose his track.

 

Good Vision & Direction - Examples Swami Vivekananda. Great Souls are undeterred by external praises & go on to work on the means like Sachin Tendulkar with his practice, passion, Dignity & Humility.

True, what is needed is encouragement more than anything rather than praise bordering on flattery which never helps..We need to make sure that youngsters do not lose their direction and become too full of their own self to the extent that they start looking down on others and become arrogant . Once such an attitude sets in it kills any scope for self improvement !

Praise should make the child to fortify his self confidence and to build his inner strengths. Praise should not be taken as a bribe offered by the parents.

The each type of praise & antidote to it is presented, in the sense that for each praise a parent makes he is given the thought whether such praise is worthy to be given or not, as mentioned in All is Sweet talk & no Substance. He subtly hammers home the point by using specific term called "thoughtful encouragement" Also the point mentioned that praising is to be done in private is very realistic, atleast to the adolescent or teens where such private true praise will increase their performance.

usha manohar wrote:

epraneeth77 wrote:

Praising should be done so as to make the person feel acknowledge for his efforts & not to make him feel that he has performed exceedingly well. At each stage there is a different challenge & if a person overcomes it he should be praised economically & a pat on the back is sufficient. A good vision & direction are critical to any Individual, if that is present then no amount of praise can make him lose his track.

 

Good Vision & Direction - Examples Swami Vivekananda. Great Souls are undeterred by external praises & go on to work on the means like Sachin Tendulkar with his practice, passion, Dignity & Humility.

True, what is needed is encouragement more than anything rather than praise bordering on flattery which never helps..We need to make sure that youngsters do not lose their direction and become too full of their own self to the extent that they start looking down on others and become arrogant . Once such an attitude sets in it kills any scope for self improvement !

Indeed, becoming their own self & that making them to look down on others is the worst situation a human can be in. In this case the person who looks down on others loses his value & he also does not feel good. Everybody have their own experiences by which they act in a certain way & we are no one to belittle them or make them feel down. If we can help, we should, otherwise leave them untouched.

The very purpose of Praise is to acknowledge one's good deed that stands to a set of expectations. It should help in paving path to progress. Not a hindrance and blocks development. This applies to all be it a child or adult.