Funny Jokes ha ha ha.

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?

Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR :P

Mayawati was talking about Family Planning & Birth Control in Parliament.
Lalu got angry & said " Look woman, When you can't Play the Game, don't make Rules for Champions!

Student1 :Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK, go ahead
Student 1: A white horse fell in the mud.

While seeing a Modern Art gallery two children ran out of the Gallery.
First child : Come on, let's run away from this place.
Second child: Why?
First child: If someone sees us here, they think we spoiled all the paintings here..

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.

That Funny. Only Elephant baby gain 20 ponds in a Week.

Math Teacher: If a=b, b=c, then a=c. Now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student: I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

The patient says, "Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."
The doctor says, "Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

Father and son were standing before an empty canvas in an art gallery. The title of the empty canvas was, A cow Grazing.
The son asked his father, " i'm neither seeing the cow nor grass.
Father replied, " After grazing the cow left for its home."

Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother. :lol: :lol:

Santa & his wife went for Divorce at court.

Judge : You have 3 kids .. How will you divide them?

Santa had long discussion with Banto & said

“ok, sirji We will come next year with 1 more”
:cheer:

Joke doesn’t end here ..

9 months later

.

.

.

They got twins . :lol: :woohoo:

I know..I mean I have come across this kind of joke in a movie..comedy movie...where instead of cow there was horse...yes the mvie was dhamaal!

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me.
Nobody ever listens to me.
No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, "Next, please."

A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!
He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

That is indeed very hopeful... :unsure: :blink: