Funny Jokes ha ha ha.

How Bedroom smells after marriages:

First 3 months - Perfumes and Flowers!

After 12 months - Baby Powder, Cream, diapers and Lotions!

After 7 Years - Balms, Move and pain killers..

In a Race course, a first timer asked,
Why those horses are running?
A knowledgeable person said, the horse that reaches the winning post first  would be the winner.
What about other horses?asked the stranger.
They lose said the Knowledgeable person
Then why they are running? Asked the stranger.

Q: Why do farmers put bells on cows?
A: Their horns don't work.

Why you are standing outside the class room, asked the teacher.
Student replied, "I want to be an outstanding student."

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

- What are you reading?
- Quantum physics theory book.
- but why are you reading it upside-down?
- It makes no difference anyway.

A big Hunter in a party talking about his hunting career and told, “Yes I used to shoot tigers in Africa.” The listeners protested saying there are no tigers on that continent.
The Hunter replied, “Of course I shot them all.”

I don't want to go to school. My teacher doesn't now and she wants to know from me, "What A stands for ."

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

Small boy: "Dad , can you write in the dark?" Father: "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" Small Boy: "Your name on the report card."

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:

“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing. The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except Rajan. Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?' Rajan: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good for me.

When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing. The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except Rajan. Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?' Rajan: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good for me.

Good one...something new :laugh: :laugh:

The doctor asked the patient to open his mouth.
The patient replied," That I can't do. When by wife is around." showing his wife who was standing by his side

Doctor: Open your mouth
Patient: Opened the mouth but doctor stage is critical.

Teacher: "what's the further away, America or the Moon?" Student: "America!" Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?" Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from the india, but not america!"

What is the easy way for resignation?
Tell your boss that you are an idiot.

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don’t know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

Cat: How old are you?
Elephant: 15 years old
Cat : You look so big
Elephant : I am a complan boy.
Cat : I am 30
Elephant: I can't believe it. You are looking so beautiful
Cat: I am using ponds age miracles.

Teacher : What is the full form of Maths? Student :'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing students.".

Doctor: Open your mouth
Patient: Opened the mouth but doctor stage is critical.

And where is the punch line in this joke???

Since all these jokes are available on internet which is against the rules of the site the thread is locked.
I must remind the members copy paste is something that will not be accepted.