I feel that it is very essential to develop a rapport with your growing children instead of being strict and formal with them.
One of my colleague was telling me about her son who is studying Engineering in his 2nd semester now.Apparently he drinks and smokes and she did not want him to do it in front of them, but was ok with it as long as relatives dont come to know about it and he dint do it at home..I feel this is double standard since her husband drinks and so does she on rare occasions ..She was shocked when I told her to encourage her son to have a drink at home along with his father and also develop a rapport with him.At least they would be able to have a check on him...
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It is difficult to guide children not to do what you do. Personally, I never drink at home and at functions like marriage even though I have no children. So, hardly anyone knows that I drink even occasionally. If some one drinks at residence, he cannot guide his children will not to drink, especially when they grow up.
I feel your advice is okay. When somebody has tradition of drinking at home, grown up children should be allowed drink at home.
I feel your advice is okay. When somebody has tradition of drinking at home, grown up children should be allowed drink at home.
It is difficult to guide children not to do what you do. Personally, I never drink at home and at functions like marriage even though I have no children. So, hardly anyone knows that I drink even occasionally. If some one drinks at residence, he cannot guide his children will not to drink, especially when they grow up.
I feel your advice is okay. When somebody has tradition of drinking at home, grown up children should be allowed drink at home.
Children normally follow their parents and when there is confusion about issues it makes them lose trust and this may lead to clash of ideas, so, it is better to see things in the right perspective before giving advise or lay down rules...
I have a perfect rapport with my only daughter her hubby and my little kiddo. In fact we are like a well organised unit.
Thats great sunil, same here, I and my 3 children are more like friends.They share everything with me and I in turn look up to them on most issues since I find that they are able to advise me or at least talk things out when I am in a spot..
I have a perfect rapport with my only daughter her hubby and my little kiddo. In fact we are like a well organised unit.
Thats great sunil, same here, I and my 3 children are more like friends.They share everything with me and I in turn look up to them on most issues since I find that they are able to advise me or at least talk things out when I am in a spot..
What I feel that children know more than we do in some cases. They are as educated as me and wife and living in more competitive environment.
It happens with every growing kid but what we must do is to continuously talk to them like a friend and should not be too strict that he/she may not get a space to live. :blink: I have observed it that the parents who are more strict towards their kids, their kids only most of the time do the things which they ask them not to do. :blink: :blink:
It happens with every growing kid but what we must do is to continuously talk to them like a friend and should not be too strict that he/she may not get a space to live. :blink: I have observed it that the parents who are more strict towards their kids, their kids only most of the time do the things which they ask them not to do. :blink: :blink:
Thats exactly what I feel, there is no point in pretending that things dont exist or happen in your household.Our primary concern as parents is to make sure that our children are able to understand their responsibilities towards themselves and the society they live ..
They would feel their responsibility only if they shall be treated at par. They are all equal once they reach a certain mental standard, even minors have their own personality.
Yes and this should be done while they are still young.We have to give them a certain amount of freedom to do what they want , my son at 14 was very particular about working and helping out for a software shop during summer holidays just to know things and he did it and feels that he got a lot of practical experience through it..
Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..
You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.
Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..
You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.
Exactly ! another great mistake most parents make is comparing their children with one another. I have three and each one is different and I have had to deal with them differently and it is not easy.But it is definitely worth the effort to know about their individual aptitude and basic personality traits and deal accordingly.
Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..
You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.
Exactly ! another great mistake most parents make is comparing their children with one another. I have three and each one is different and I have had to deal with them differently and it is not easy.But it is definitely worth the effort to know about their individual aptitude and basic personality traits and deal accordingly.
Suppose your child is not interested in technical subjects, there is no use forcing him to be a doctor or engineer, he could be a great artist or big lawyer.
Most parents want to see their children as an extension of their ambitions and personalities which is unfair.You get to hear parents saying I wanted to be a doctor but never got the opportunity so now I want my daughter/son to become one ! this is very unfair on the child...Why not guide them and motivate them and then let them decide and make the choice :huh:
Most parents want to see their children as an extension of their ambitions and personalities which is unfair.You get to hear parents saying I wanted to be a doctor but never got the opportunity so now I want my daughter/son to become one ! this is very unfair on the child...Why not guide them and motivate them and then let them decide and make the choice :huh:
So true Usha, all I am seeing nowadays is parents herding their little children from one class to another without leaving them any time to do what they want, its just an extension fo all that they have themselves missed. But ultimately what they are not realizing is that they are only distancing themselves from their children, making their children more selfish and individualistic in the process.
Very true Kalyani.I tend to blame the entire educational system which of late has become so competitive that parents have no go but to pressurise their children to perform better.There is no time left for finer things in life and before you know they are grown up in an atmosphere that has made them efficient but lacking in many other aspects..
Drinking at home or with children and smoking in front of children is not good.
Afterall these habit are not good.
Isn't that double standard RAM ? I am not advising either drinking or smoking, but one cannot be judgmental about such issues, it is left to the individual to make his/her choice in the matter...
I feel, as the father has such habit and he do those things infront of his children then children surely follow the elder in such things.If father stops then there may be a chance of their son also may stop.
Even my dad's brother has smoking habit because my grand father have. So my grand father could not tell his son to stop it as he himself has that habit.
Even my dad's brother has smoking habit because my grand father have. So my grand father could not tell his son to stop it as he himself has that habit.
Topic Author
U
usha manohar
@kiran8
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Created
Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:54
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Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
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