Give a best advice

@Sarala


I can understand the girl's frustration and hers is a case which many girls face particularly those belonging to orthodox family but what I could make out from what you have stated is that she has a goal to achieve and she is clear-headed too.She is bound to respect her dad's reasonable and rational decisions not the irrational ones! Now it's up to her to take take a firm stand in this regard.After all it is her life and vital time is running out of her life!

She needs to contact common family friends and relatives who have some influence on her father. Possibly other more liberal persons having good terms with her father may be of help.

While I agree that help form any quarters should be sought but ultimately it is the girl who has to decide if she would live life on her terms!

Someone should make her father understand that he live in such a society where talking about various things happens. This is common,if a house has girl in his/her family. Father has to allow her daughter to be independent and should allow her to work.

Sarala,

I think you got best advices from all the members here and i too feel that somebody should change her fathers mind and if the girl has full confidence in herself she also can try for job and show father that she has something to do. :)

Truth is that persons of orthodox nature shun the company of liberals and hence any suggestion to prevail upon her father might not work!Here the girl's attitude becomes important to unshackle herself!

Truth is that persons of orthodox nature shun the company of liberals and hence any suggestion to prevail upon her father might not work!Here the girl's attitude becomes important to unshackle herself!

It is possible to persuade even the most rigid person. This depends on capability, intimacy and tact of concerned person. Possibley, girl's father may not listen to youngsters. But his own friends or his eleder may convince him. The father would have been liberal enough to allow education to his daughter. Now only he is reluctant to allow her to work on a job. Successful persuasion is only a possibility that should be explored. Of course, there is no certainty.

@Gulshan

I have spoken my mind based on my limited experience and would be too happy to be proved wrong in this case.

@Gulshan

I have spoken my mind based on my limited experience and would be too happy to be proved wrong in this case.

You are not wrong. But there can always be alternative worth trying. Some times, success comes by trying even though result may appear doubtful.

I think if she try to convince family for job and express her situation and dream to father i am sure if father is good then will give chance otherwise if girl is above 21 years then she can take action and can take help of adviser.

I am all for exploring all avenues to find a solution to her problem and no where indicated any opposition to it!

as you all advice, she had tried allot to convince her father and even explained in detail about her plan and all. But her father said that he cannot let her to go for job. IF he let her to go for a job, then all will think that he couldn't perform her marriage so he sent her for job it-seems and all the relatives will make his fun it-seems. her age is 25.
she tried allot to convince her father, finally she said strongly that whether u will let me or not i will join she told him. then her father said once u will get cheated by some one or some one lift u then u will know the value of parents and all. If u want to go then go. I will Think that u have ran from home as my friends daughter ran with her boy friend and he gave her all her certificates, passport and bank book.If that girl want to go she can go but she is not such type. so she shut her mouth and stayed in home but daily she suffers, that something i planned to do in life, and time is running away and am wasting time in home itself.
some times her father only criticize her if she had a good percent she would have been in a god job, but now a days there is no relation between percentage and job. everything depends on knowledge. but her father wont understand. Actually she already worked in 2 companies, but she was a fresher at that time so she worked for less pay. so in one company she worked for 6000 rupees, but at that time lot matches came to her house so her father forced her to resign the job and made her to comeback to her home town. after she came back for one year no matches came and her parents made her feel that she have no personal financial support. if she ask them some money for her personal expenditure, they used to think a lot. she felt very bad and again she started job trials and finally she got job in a small company, but company is a cheating company he didn't paid salaries to his employee. he just rob the peoples efforts.So this made her parents think that she have no talent and she is unfit. after that she tried working online but that also failed as no one are paying, all are cheating. So this made her parents to criticize her allot. As her father criticizing her that she wont get job so she tried from her home itself and finally she got job , but now her father changed his words. when she said that on the name of marriage lot of time is getting wasted and for her her life is important than remaining thins. and she dont want to loose any of her dreams in her life then her mom dad said then they also lost alot in their life. she said that is their problem and she want to build her career but her parents didnt allow her. so friends after listerning this tell a good solution for build her carreer. and fulfil her dreams

I am sorry that she is facing such a miserable life but she should stand upon and thinking the best alternative for her. Never quit and fight should be her principle.

ya she can do work online at home.it will be really helpfull to her and she can fullfill her dreams .

Really a very sad situation to be in! Still I would like her not to lose her determination and hope that she would sail through this difficult phase of her life!

Don't say, everything you know,
Don't say that you know everything.

@Mukesh

Can you explain me what you mean by this how it is related to her topic


Don't say, everything you know,
Don't say that you know everything.

I too was not very clear on what he exactly tried to convey! Let him come to shed light on his comments!

Dear Fathima, Sorry to read your query correctly as I didn't go to to the second page where your query was posted.

I discussed the problem with my friends and the unanimous suggestion is to persuade her parents not to take the decision under the influence of their family and friends. People would continue to say something or the other, but once she succeeds in her life, the same people would look upto her and her parents would feel proud on her decision to work.

Gone are those days when, ladies used to be home-makers and husbands used to move out to earn and run the livelihood.She can call few of her friends who studied with her and are enjoying good positions in the corporate world yet they are maintaining the decorum of their family and taking great care of their parent's respect.

mukesh Ranjan, Can you tell me in simple words what you are explaining please