JOKE JUNCTION

Doctor and Priest loved the same girl.
Priest started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Doctor asked: Why?
Priest: Coz an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Dr: badhai ho aapke ghar ladka hua hai.
Father:kya technology hai.. wife hospital me hai aur ladka ghar per hua hai.

Teacher: What is an autobiography?

Child: Simple ...Obvious...It is the story of an auto..

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Ramu and his girlfriend Amba were moving in a car. There was a traffic jam. They went under the car with a view to make love while the jam continues. some time later, a policeman appeared and said- "what are you doing here". Ramu said- "I am repairing my car.". at this the policeman said, "sir, there is a big traffic jam behind you. Moreover, your car has been stolen while you were repairing."

The English teacher told John, You are poor in English. So, So do the English exercise another 10 times.

Later, John does it and shows to his teacher. She asks " John Why have you done the exercise only 6 times?"

"Madam, I am poor in Aritmetic also"

Girl:How much u love me?

Boy:Like shajahan.

Girl: Then When Will you build Taj Mahal?

Boy:Already Purchased Land.Now waiting for your death

Girl:?????

LAGAAN REAMKE BY RAJIKANT......


SCENE OF CLIMAX : 1 BALL AND 24 RUNS NEEDED

BOWLER BOWLS, RAJNIKANT HITS.....

THEN BALL SPLITS INTO 4 PIECES IN THE AIR AND ALL 4 PIECES GOES FOR SIX

AND INDIA WINS !!!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

pappu ki ladai apne uncle se hui,

uncle ne pappu ko bahut mara.....

pappu gussa hota hua kabrastan gaya,

wahan ek ped se apne uncle ki photo ek daal par latka di


aur niche likha





"COMMING SOON"

Very funny ones...hope to make this thread very long with a collection all the jokes you know!!!

A register for late comers in an office was maintained. The late comers were required to write a reason. Usually, the staff would just write 'ditto' in the reasons column. Once a female staff wrote' Visit to maternity hospital for check up'. Other staff members also wrote 'ditto' in the reason column.

• Four Sardarji's were waiting on a Railway Platform for the "Punjab Mail".
As they were waiting an announcement is made about the train running late
by two hours. The train scheduled to start at 10 am will now start at 12
noon. Since there is lots of time to kill the four sardarjis decide to go
out into the city to spend the time. When they get back to the station
they see "Punjab Mail" just leaving the platform.So sardarjis start
running desperately to board the train.. One of them manages to catch the
6th boggie Another got almost the last boggie and the other two got left
behind. When the two Sardarji 's who managed to get into the train met
each other in one of the bogies they started laughing uncontrollably. They
go on laughing ....laughing ....and laughing. Now the other passengers get
bit curious and one of them asked the Sardarji's .... Arre, what's so
funny ? Why are you both laughing so madly? One of the Sardarji's managed
to reply Actually the two who were supposed to take this train got left
behind......we ...just came to see them off !!!!!!!!!!"

Patient: I would like something to stir me up and to give me some excitement.
Doctor: Here, I have listed out some tablets.. Take this and see the bill.

Amit- what you narrated may happen to any one- not only sardarji. I am giving another joke. Once a Bengali gentleman and a sardarji were traveling in same compartment. They were discussing as to which state- Punjab or Bengal had more freedom fighters. They decided that each one would name one freedom fighter and pull out one thread from beard of another. In the end they would count the threads. First Sardarji said- Bhagat Singh and pulled one thread from Bengali's beard. Then the Bengali said- Ras Behari Bose and pulled one from sardarji. This went on. Soon Sardarji's destination was arriving. so, he said- jalliawala Bagh and pulled out entire beard of Bengali Bhadra Lok.

Banta's son was sent to school. In Hindi class, they were taught Tense( Kaal). Bhoot kal (past tense), Vattaman (present) and Bhavishya (Future).
Banta asked his son- what you studied in school.
the son said- "Our maam knows nothing. she told sl many kaal. But she does not know Sat Sri Kaal.

Important health Tip for members,Don't eat burger,noodles,pizza,samose,golgappe,Ice cream, chocolate,spring roll and Pakore






Without me

Jasmeet, i eat all these things with sauce and not with you.

Yes sir you are right you eat this without me and i eat without you.But i hope u must have laughed........

In life

Birth comes once

love comes once

marriage comes once

death comes once
.
.
.

Then
why this bloody exams comes again and again