Shared jokes

Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it

Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?
A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit)
(Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet?)

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"

This is a good one to follow the following previously submitted joke.
A: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
B: No idea. (No Eye Deer.)

A: What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
B: Still no idea.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

Q: When does the (English) alphabet have only 25 letters?
A: At Christmas time, because it is the time of Noel.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
A: Wet.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do you find giant snails?
A: On the ends of their fingers.
(Giants' nails.)

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A blackboard.

These need to be written.
Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.

Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.

Q: What do elephants have that no other animal has?
A: Baby elephants.

Depending on where you live, students will enjoy this one.
Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
A: Mississippi.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!

The First 3 Years of Marriage

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Q: What happens when "you" and "I" are gone?
A: Only 24 letters are left. (you=the letter "u" and I the letter "i".)

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.