Shared jokes

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"

If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!!!! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life......

Be a friend with at least one person at your University,
Who bring His/Her own transport
Otherwise you will be stuck at your campus for good.

Nice idea fathima, whenever my mind is not good , i can come to this forum and laugh by reading these jokes and i will be happy.thank you dear

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Rohit..

Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a best man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did..

Difference between poem and essay:

Before marriage, every thing told by girlfriend is a poem,
After marriage, even a single word told by her is an essay. :)

दवाई और शांति
दीपक अपनी पत्नी से : जरा अपनी नौकरानी शांति को बुला लाना...
पत्नी :इतनी रात को, आखिर क्यों?
दीपक : क्योंकि डॉक्टर साहब ने कहा है कि ये दवाई लेकर शांति के साथ सो जा

चूहे को बिल्ली लगी गोरी।
दोनों मिलने लगे चोरी-चोरी।
चूहा बोला : ओ गोरी, आ खेलें आंख मिचौली।
बिल्ली चूहे को मार के खा गई
...और बोली 'आई हेट लव स्टोरी

All the jokes are about girl and boy!Why it comes like that?

Santa went to temple & saw people put coins in a box & pray.

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone
without receiver

Abid, a good joke without a girl and boy for you! :)

Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love????

Just think and answer please...

आज का शुद्ध विचार: प्यार करना उतना ही आसान है जितना की लूज़ मोशन करना, और प्यार निभाना उतना ही मुश्किल है जितना उसे रोक कर रखना!

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

“My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”

“What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son! :laugh:

Teacher - Today we are going to talk about the tenses. Now if I say I am beautiful, which tense is it?
Student - Obviously, it is the past tense! :laugh: :laugh:

Teacher - Today we are going to talk about the tenses. Now if I say I am beautiful, which tense is it?
Student - Obviously, it is the past tense! :laugh: :laugh:

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

Question-- Why do most Indian women pray to God for the same husband in their next life?
Answer-- Because efforts taken to train them in this life should not go waste!!! :laugh:

Father : I have 4 children. Three are MBAs and one is a thief.

Friend : Pls throw him out of house who is thief.

Father: I cant do that as he is only who earns, rest are jobless

Hubby- I gave a moving performance in singing...
Wife- What do you mean by moving performance?
Hubby- Everyone moved out of the theatre.... :P

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"