Self-Regulation is a personality trait important for people of all ages. Self-regulation is the state of regulating or controlling one's emotions, behaviors, physical actions, and mindset with no help from external parties like friends or family. It is the skill to stop disruptive impulses and emotions when conditions are unfavorable. In simple words, Self-regulation is control of oneself by oneself. Self-regulation can refer to the control activities of different organisms. In humans, the most important control is psychological Self-regulation. Psychological Self-regulation is not similar to suppressing feelings or emotions. It helps in adapting positively to achieve success in any condition.

According to Albert Bandura, Self-regulation is a continuous process with the following functions-

• Monitoring the behavior in real time and understanding the influences and consequences of your behavior on other people.

• I am judging their behavior based on personal beliefs and personal standards.

• I am reacting to my behavior by taking corrective action.

Importance of Self-regulation

Self-regulation is a skill that helps you to think before acting. It helps in incorporating patience, calmness, and a habit of taking sufficient time to act. Self-regulation makes you calm and composed. A person with low self-regulation is bound to make mistakes more often. Humans thrive because they can think well. When a frustrated person acts up, he loses the self-regulation standards and goes on a rampage of mistakes.

Self-regulation is a sign of maturity. Any adult who lacks these skills will feel a lack of confidence. One shall have lower self-esteem because of the hastiness in behavior. This is not a problem with people having a high self-regulation system developed since childhood. Self-regulation also prevents you from doing anything that goes against your values and beliefs. And most importantly, Self-regulation helps to face failures and still have a positive outlook on the world. It helps to tackle failures with calm and maturity. This gift of Self-regulation will be helpful in every field of life. 

The right time to work on Self-regulation development

The best time for developing Self-regulation skills in a person is the childhood period. A young child is like a blank notebook. The brain can be taught easily and properly. Soft skills like Self-regulation, self-discipline, confidence, and communication should be incorporated right from childhood. Teenage is also receptive to new learning. As humans reach adult age, the brain becomes stubborn and occupied with many beliefs and ideas. Changing these thoughts and introducing Self-regulation skill is more difficult. A person is less receptive to psychological learning. A lack of self-regulation development in childhood can cause the inability to manage feelings. It can even cause severe problems like mental disorders or substance abuse.

How to Develop Self-Regulation?

Several strategies can be used to develop strong self-regulation skills. The task is easier in childhood. However, you can start at any age with proper determination.

• Being mindful

Being attentive and aware is the first step to Self-regulation. Mindfulness is a state of awareness where the person is living every moment with high consciousness. Being mindful is the way to live a disciplined and happy life. You will always regret the moments when you lost awareness and control. Mindfulness helps in keeping your mind and actions in sync. This reduces your behavioral and emotional mistakes. According to 27 studies done in this field, Mindfulness has a positive effect on attentiveness. This attentiveness helps in understanding their feelings and tackling adverse situations.

You should know that every situation gives you two options. The approach or avoid. They are also known as flight or fight. Being mindful helps you to choose the option that suits your beliefs and personality.

• Cognitive Reappraisals

The name suggests the meaning of this process. Cognitive reappraisal is the process of analyzing thoughts and patterns with a positive outlook. It is a way of adaptive thinking. People often forget about the importance of having cognitive reappraisal systems in personality. An example of cognitive thinking is-

Suppose your friend is not answering your calls and not reading your texts. A self-regulated person will think that the friend must be busy. While a person with weak cognitive reappraisals skills will conclude that the friend does not want to talk or does not like him. The second thinking pattern does no good to the saturation. Instead of jumping to negative conclusions, you need to jump on positive ones. This helps in keeping your brain tension free and your relationships healthy.

There are other techniques for developing rock-solid self-regulation principles. A person can start incorporating acceptance habits and problem-solving outlook in daily life. Several negative habits damage your Self-regulated lifestyle. Avoidance, over thinking, depression, worrying, and suppressing emotions are some activities that you should completely avoid.