Lacking in social manners

Parents teachers,friends, friends parents all make an impact to the child and unless parents are keeping a constant watch and monitoring a child's behavior, correcting him or her as and when it is necessary, it is likely that negative traits will be picked up faster than positive ones from outside home ..Of course if parents themselves are lax and not very careful about their own behavior , one cannot expect any better from their children. Whe parents ill treat their parents or in laws or are rude and abusive, children pick up these traits fast and unless the outside atmosphere is better and balances out , the child is likely to grow up into a negative personality

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

 

That is an extreme case but even otherwise we see men taking women for granted in day today dealings because they are made to believe that they are superior to women>instead the message should be that women and men are different yet complementary since one cannot exist without the other..

usha manohar wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

 

That is an extreme case but even otherwise we see men taking women for granted in day today dealings because they are made to believe that they are superior to women>instead the message should be that women and men are different yet complementary since one cannot exist without the other..

 

True, but I did not mean that besides I am a strong believer in equal treatment to all including male and female children or adult. I see so many cases of different treatments to male and female children in same families.

suni51 wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

 

That is an extreme case but even otherwise we see men taking women for granted in day today dealings because they are made to believe that they are superior to women>instead the message should be that women and men are different yet complementary since one cannot exist without the other..

 

True, but I did not mean that besides I am a strong believer in equal treatment to all including male and female children or adult. I see so many cases of different treatments to male and female children in same families.

 

Yes discrimination is also due to economic reasons since earlier menfolks were the bread earners ..Now with changed times people need to change their  attitudes as well

usha manohar wrote:

suni51 wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

 

That is an extreme case but even otherwise we see men taking women for granted in day today dealings because they are made to believe that they are superior to women>instead the message should be that women and men are different yet complementary since one cannot exist without the other..

 

True, but I did not mean that besides I am a strong believer in equal treatment to all including male and female children or adult. I see so many cases of different treatments to male and female children in same families.

 

Yes discrimination is also due to economic reasons since earlier menfolks were the bread earners ..Now with changed times people need to change their  attitudes as well

 

Sorry again but I have seen these things mostly in upper class families. They allow their male children to act as they wish or do what they like. Moms laugh the mistakes if someone points to that or feel bad that an outsider (even if a relative) dared bringing it to their notice. I am not saying all moms are same but I can tell you more than 50% are the same.

suni51 wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

suni51 wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Our age old saying says MatruDevo  Devo Bhava, PitruDevo  Bhava and Acharya Devo Bhava. It's implied that discipline and good habits should start from the home first. Only then the Teacher's role starts.

 

I am sorry to say but the fact is most of our womenfolks while teaching good manners to their daughters overlook the mistakes of their male children which makes all the difference. Mothers will have to treat boys and girls on equal terms that will help improve the society. I agree girls/women behave far better in public compared to their male counterparts.  

 

Gender discrimination in child upbringing will lead to several ill effects on the children. There is a possibility of children becoming rebels or juvenile delinquent .

 

That is an extreme case but even otherwise we see men taking women for granted in day today dealings because they are made to believe that they are superior to women>instead the message should be that women and men are different yet complementary since one cannot exist without the other..

 

True, but I did not mean that besides I am a strong believer in equal treatment to all including male and female children or adult. I see so many cases of different treatments to male and female children in same families.

 

Yes discrimination is also due to economic reasons since earlier menfolks were the bread earners ..Now with changed times people need to change their  attitudes as well

 

Sorry again but I have seen these things mostly in upper class families. They allow their male children to act as they wish or do what they like. Moms laugh the mistakes if someone points to that or feel bad that an outsider (even if a relative) dared bringing it to their notice. I am not saying all moms are same but I can tell you more than 50% are the same.

Yes that's what I mean, attitudes need to change ..Even now when a man cooks the womenfolk frown on the wife or the sister for making a 'man' cook when it is actually the duty of the woman to do so.. It happens among my relatives too and it is not easy to change their thinking but it has to happen through a slow process and also probably through their own children ..

It happened in my own family. I remember vividly when I wake up early along with my mother to help my mother in her cooking chores, she said, " why do you woke up so early, Wake up your sister. "

This is the attitude of many mothers in our society. This belief that Males are a superior lot, is more dominant in many mothers. This false belief should be driven away.

Yes true.....what I have encountered mostly in kolkata that people are impatient in certain matters. For e.g. road blocks are often caused by private vehicles because nobody is willing to back out or let the other car pass by. Even in residential complexes flat owners are very impatient and they complain over trivial issues. They fail to understand that when you live in flats in a complex you have to adjust.

I agree with you. Adjustment to accommodate others is an essential factor that promotes relationships. Who knows tomorrow you may be in need of others support and adjustment.

In India most of the people are much selfish. They think about their own safety and their happiness. Very few people think and implement their kindness and respect towards old age people. 

Tomorrow they themselves will be ill treated by their children if they ill treat the old today.

In many cases where parents have a tough time with their children, one has to look back and see whether they have done the same with their parents.One of my neighbors has her mother living with her and her mother in law , who stays alone comes to visit them, she makes it sound as if it is an ordeal.Her son who is a teenager loves his paternal grand mother and says openly that she too should stay with them.In later years he may question his parents too.

usha manohar wrote:

In many cases where parents have a tough time with their children, one has to look back and see whether they have done the same with their parents.One of my neighbors has her mother living with her and her mother in law , who stays alone comes to visit them, she makes it sound as if it is an ordeal.Her son who is a teenager loves his paternal grand mother and says openly that she too should stay with them.In later years he may question his parents too.

 

If you treat your parents with love and care today, the same will be reciprocated with the same love by your children tomorrow.

Economic compulsions have made earlier joint family culture give way to dispersed nuclear families. Young couples get so used to leading individualistic lives with both of them working that the arrival of parents disturbs their equilibrium. I know of a housing society in my city where almost every families children have settled in USA. The parents were in competition in encouraging them to do so. Now every evening they meet and lament the fact that they have built big houses and their children do not want them to come over. It is no use lamenting the reality which is that economic condition and availibility of living space goes a long way in deciding whether children will keep their old parents with them. What will happen  to them when they grow old is too far in time today.

vijay wrote:

Economic compulsions have made earlier joint family culture give way to dispersed nuclear families. Young couples get so used to leading individualistic lives with both of them working that the arrival of parents disturbs their equilibrium. I know of a housing society in my city where almost every families children have settled in USA. The parents were in competition in encouraging them to do so. Now every evening they meet and lament the fact that they have built big houses and their children do not want them to come over. It is no use lamenting the reality which is that economic condition and availibility of living space goes a long way in deciding whether children will keep their old parents with them. What will happen  to them when they grow old is too far in time today.

 

That is a hard reality, I agree with you with the core of my heart. That is the story of most of us including myself.

suni51 wrote:

vijay wrote:

Economic compulsions have made earlier joint family culture give way to dispersed nuclear families. Young couples get so used to leading individualistic lives with both of them working that the arrival of parents disturbs their equilibrium. I know of a housing society in my city where almost every families children have settled in USA. The parents were in competition in encouraging them to do so. Now every evening they meet and lament the fact that they have built big houses and their children do not want them to come over. It is no use lamenting the reality which is that economic condition and availibility of living space goes a long way in deciding whether children will keep their old parents with them. What will happen  to them when they grow old is too far in time today.

 

That is a hard reality, I agree with you with the core of my heart. That is the story of most of us including myself.

 

I appreciate your frankness in admitting to my observations which are also based on my own experience and observations. Thanks.

vijay wrote:

suni51 wrote:

vijay wrote:

Economic compulsions have made earlier joint family culture give way to dispersed nuclear families. Young couples get so used to leading individualistic lives with both of them working that the arrival of parents disturbs their equilibrium. I know of a housing society in my city where almost every families children have settled in USA. The parents were in competition in encouraging them to do so. Now every evening they meet and lament the fact that they have built big houses and their children do not want them to come over. It is no use lamenting the reality which is that economic condition and availibility of living space goes a long way in deciding whether children will keep their old parents with them. What will happen  to them when they grow old is too far in time today.

 

That is a hard reality, I agree with you with the core of my heart. That is the story of most of us including myself.

 

I appreciate your frankness in admitting to my observations which are also based on my own experience and observations. Thanks.

 

I guess this is the reality today...My 3 children too live abroad, thankfully so far they have been visiting home every year but one cannot expect it of them to do so later when they have more responsibilities ..

None can deny stark reality. My children are also away from me leading a happy life. But I take it into my stride.