Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

The incident you have cited is seen repeatedly in all cities in India nowadays. Just last week there was an unfortunate incident in Pune, a 10-year-old boy demanded an expensive jacket but was refused by his parents. Later on, they left for dinner with family outside and the boy kept sulking, refusing to go with them and chose to remain at home with his grandparents. He went and locked himself in the room and hanged himself from the fan. The fact that a 10-year-old boy can commit suicide over such a trivial thing is simply too much to take in! I would put it to parents for giving in too easily to their kids during the formative years> They simply cannot take no for an answer.

When the child is growing up , they should be made to understand the value of each thing and money. If they are given everything they ask for, an unhealthy attitude develops in them, leading to such ugly tantrums in public.

Exactly.  But inculcating such values is a very tall order, as parents are often so busy with their office work, and most mothers are now employed, in almost every Indian home.  The role of the grandparents becomes very crucial, and they should live with their children, at least for some time.  This is mostly not the case. 

Very sorry to hear about the suicide.  Such things are rare but does happen.  We should try to do something.  One wonders whether trained counselors, appointed in schools can help.  There is no law so far, but may be, we can convince the schools to appoint such counselors, at least, on a part time basis. 

Something needs to be done, rather urgently.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

The incident you have cited is seen repeatedly in all cities in India nowadays. Just last week there was an unfortunate incident in Pune, a 10-year-old boy demanded an expensive jacket but was refused by his parents. Later on, they left for dinner with family outside and the boy kept sulking, refusing to go with them and chose to remain at home with his grandparents. He went and locked himself in the room and hanged himself from the fan. The fact that a 10-year-old boy can commit suicide over such a trivial thing is simply too much to take in! I would put it to parents for giving in too easily to their kids during the formative years> They simply cannot take no for an answer.

When the child is growing up , they should be made to understand the value of each thing and money. If they are given everything they ask for, an unhealthy attitude develops in them, leading to such ugly tantrums in public.

 

 

Exactly!! You have rightly said that children should be made to understand the value of things when they are still young. In fact, children tend to understand the value of things if they are told properly with reasons. Children would throw tantrum if parents would refuse them something outright without giving any reasons but if it is refused by giving proper explanation the children tend to comply.

There is a liit to every thing. No dout, children should also have a say in purchasing things but should also be made to undersand that they have no veto in such matters.

Consumer spending research studies have shown that children have a big say in the purchase decision of many items including cars. I know of a family which had to borrow funds to buy a costlier car because of the tantrums he threw every time they wanted to buy Alto car. One of the reason parents give in is because of present day families being nuclear and purchasing power also being higher. Working parents want peace even at high costs. Advertisements are also responsible for creating status consciousness among small children. However we are all aware of three Hathas ; Raj hath. Stree Hath and Bal Hath.

Parents should teach their children about their family status and how much they can able to spend for items. If parents wants to see the cinema then he should book it in theater only he should not book the ticket in a shopping mall complex. For children age they can't understand they want to get the things for their favor. In our childhood we also asked several things to parents if they did not buy those things for us we get angry on them. The same is continuing by our child but we get angry now. Though it is said that shopping in shopping malls is costly some shops are there selling products for low budget peoples.

Everything depends upon the way children are brought up from their childhood. Parents should handle them tactfully and psychologically so that the children should understand the value of money and what they should yearn and what should not.

If a 10 yr old can commit suicide over not getting a certain things, this is something very serious. I think parents are to be blamed, most parents hang out in malls and even as adults many of us to impulsive shopping. So children are after all children, they can get attracted to things -costly things on display. I think parents even if employed do get time to spend on weekends, and it during weekends that parents should spend quality time with their children instead of taking them to malls. Also, parents should teach their children that costly clothes or gifts can be bought only during special occasion and that too within a budget. The kind of ads we see even in tv channels dedicated to children are spoiling children in a big way. Parents need to draw a line what is real and what is showy and fantasy from an early age. This will help children to reason out things they demand.

This is actually a very serious issue and should be taken very seriously during the formative years of a child. When a child is very young say a 3 or 4-year-old child he or she barely understands what is going on and it is very difficult to control the situation. In that case a child can be diverted by just changing the topic or showing them something else especially because children tend to forget very easily. I think it is best to avoid frequent visits to these expensive malls. 

It is wrong to blame the children. They are shrewd observers and copy their parents behaviour. Children know how to throw tantrums, but it is a testing ploy. If not acceded  they give up. Some amount of parenting should be taught in colleges also.

Parents should not visit expensive shopping malls frequently with their children. Most of the people visiting the mall because there is no entry fee for entering in to the mall. They want to enjoy the place with their children but if they ask anything the hesitate to buy that.

vijay wrote:

It is wrong to blame the children. They are shrewd observers and copy their parents behaviour. Children know how to throw tantrums, but it is a testing ploy. If not acceded  they give up. Some amount of parenting should be taught in colleges also.

Parenting cannot be taught, some books , references from here or there can be had, but what values parents want to instill in their children solely depends on them. No book or college can teach you this--but when parents themselves cannot curb the urge to buy, how can children be controlled. I saw some parents give in easily and succumb to their children but here parents have to be strong and educate their children what is wrong and what is not. 

I said some and that could be creating awareness of responsible parenthood.which can then act as a fall back when confronted with difficult situations.  

Making children feel responsible is v ery important and this can be done by opening a SB account for them once they are in primary school...The incident mentioned is a stray one and most children do not behave in that manner.However, it is the parents who need to make their children realise the value of things and help them make responsible decisions.Once in a while it is good to give them a choice between two so that they get to realise the importance of decision making..

Decision making is one trait  that should be injected in children at the earliest. There may be some bitter experiences. But that's what life is. Mistakes make the children learn. And the parents should keep an eye on the children's way of decision making and rectify where necessary. It should be born in mind that children are very quick learners.