Why women can't have it all - By Barkha Dutt

This article by Barkha Dutt actually speaks my mind. Go check... Why women' can't have it all


Why do women have to quit work or work from home to manage household chores and look after babies. Why do women have to struggle..I can relate to what is there in this article..why do women have to juggle with so many roles and keep too many balls in the air?

The women in advanced countries have reached a stage where they can have it all. Indian society is evolving and women today are having a lot more than earlier and it is a matter of few more years when increasing numbers will have it all. The biological difference between a man and women makes a woman's life more difficult to juggle with many roles -- but it is changing.

I agree the but the seed of change has just been sown..a long way to go for Indian women to have it all.

I agree the but the seed of change has just been sown..a long way to go for Indian women to have it all.

Subsequent Incremental changes occur at much faster rates and it is only a matter of say five + years and not a very long way.Have faith.

Often a change is looked with suspicion. A change is frowned at. And in most cases, a change is opposed. But if you see history, every change has become a part of our lives subsequently.No one can stall it. May be a matter of time before the change is accepted. Over a period, women can have it all for sure.

I feel that no one can have it all neuther men nor women...Biologically we are different and once we realise this and live life accordingly things are bound to feel different. Child bearing a rearing is something that comes naturally to women . The only problem is the men's attitude in our society for which we can blame the society esp the women who differentiate between sexes and boys have it easy and always given preferrential treatment which carries through life ! They hesitate to help out their wives because they consider it beneath their dignity or ego or whatever.It is only a few men who help out and give a hand in running the house and looking after children...

For me these were the highlights of this article are very true whether we choose to differ on this is a different thing altogether:

//While an increasing number of fair-minded and enlightened men have made home-keeping a partnership, for the most part managing the home — whether they work or not — is still treated as a female domain.

//We should be pushing for paternity-leave benefits at the workplace and flexi-hours for men and not just women.

//Instead of demanding daycare and crèches for the children of female employees, we should ask for it as a benefit for all employees. - Because even here the responsibility is forced on women to take care of their children even when they are at work.

I understand, ability to nurture comes naturally to women but certain things have to be inculcated in men too.

What Barkha has highlighted in the link "Despite the growing number of instances of men taking the responsibility of running the home, is still treated as a female domain" signifies a Change has taken place and started working. Obviously Barkha Dutt is hurrying. Things will not change overnight. It takes its own time, especially in a society where there are large number of women who still refuse to take the intervention of a man who comes forward to to lend his helping hand in the household chores saying, "Leave washing those plates. It's my job."
It's this woman's way of thinking that needs a drastic change. As long as this attitude of woman who refuses to change for good, things will be like this.
Additionally, nobody will force anything on anybody, unless one wants it.

Women have naturally tendency to perform multi tasking, as they have two brains on two sides of mind wrking, but why they are leaving careers is entirely family decisions.

// "Leave washing those plates. It's my job."..well this kind of statement comes from my mom often :).but it is restricted to women of my mother's age group... not us..woman from the present age would look forward to such help .

Multitasking is not a natural thing for women, it is a trick played by men over women to take up more roles than they can manage. From an early age even girls are expected to play with dolls and taught that family should be their first priority.
But times have changed....at least now girls are expected to take up a job before they get married.

For me these were the highlights of this article are very true whether we choose to differ on this is a different thing altogether:

//While an increasing number of fair-minded and enlightened men have made home-keeping a partnership, for the most part managing the home — whether they work or not — is still treated as a female domain.

//We should be pushing for paternity-leave benefits at the workplace and flexi-hours for men and not just women.

//Instead of demanding daycare and crèches for the children of female employees, we should ask for it as a benefit for all employees. - Because even here the responsibility is forced on women to take care of their children even when they are at work.

I understand, ability to nurture comes naturally to women but certain things have to be inculcated in men too.

Thats exactly my point, it needs to be taught from childhood by both parents that the responsibility of running a house shd be equally shared and unless the male child is made to do so he will not understand the concept nor will he take an interest since society conditions him not to do so...One has to really fight against the system to bring in any positive change !

For me these were the highlights of this article are very true whether we choose to differ on this is a different thing altogether:

//While an increasing number of fair-minded and enlightened men have made home-keeping a partnership, for the most part managing the home — whether they work or not — is still treated as a female domain.

//We should be pushing for paternity-leave benefits at the workplace and flexi-hours for men and not just women.

//Instead of demanding daycare and crèches for the children of female employees, we should ask for it as a benefit for all employees. - Because even here the responsibility is forced on women to take care of their children even when they are at work.

I understand, ability to nurture comes naturally to women but certain things have to be inculcated in men too.

Thats exactly my point, it needs to be taught from childhood by both parents that the responsibility of running a house shd be equally shared and unless the male child is made to do so he will not understand the concept nor will he take an interest since society conditions him not to do so...One has to really fight against the system to bring in any positive change !

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You summed it up quite well. Earlier generations were not used to the idea and hence did not inculcate these habits in their sons. But we can, by consciously encouraging them to participate in various chores and by doing things around house together in a fun way./ That way the boys will get used to working around home and also enjoy it. Each one of us has to make that effort to bring a positive change!

For me these were the highlights of this article are very true whether we choose to differ on this is a different thing altogether:

//While an increasing number of fair-minded and enlightened men have made home-keeping a partnership, for the most part managing the home — whether they work or not — is still treated as a female domain.

//We should be pushing for paternity-leave benefits at the workplace and flexi-hours for men and not just women.

//Instead of demanding daycare and crèches for the children of female employees, we should ask for it as a benefit for all employees. - Because even here the responsibility is forced on women to take care of their children even when they are at work.

I understand, ability to nurture comes naturally to women but certain things have to be inculcated in men too.

Thats exactly my point, it needs to be taught from childhood by both parents that the responsibility of running a house shd be equally shared and unless the male child is made to do so he will not understand the concept nor will he take an interest since society conditions him not to do so...One has to really fight against the system to bring in any positive change !

\


You summed it up quite well. Earlier generations were not used to the idea and hence did not inculcate these habits in their sons. But we can, by consciously encouraging them to participate in various chores and by doing things around house together in a fun way./ That way the boys will get used to working around home and also enjoy it. Each one of us has to make that effort to bring a positive change!

Absolutely ! personally I too have had to fight against criticism from relatives even friends who would comment seeing my son help out in the kitchen " In our house we dont let our sons and men enter the kitchen " as if it is a great deed they were doing. I wd say, in my house it is very much the done thing ..My mother and to a certain extent my m in law were very supportive and that really helped and I am glad that my children dont have any gender bias today. They just share home and kitcen duties when they are home.

For me these were the highlights of this article are very true whether we choose to differ on this is a different thing altogether:

//While an increasing number of fair-minded and enlightened men have made home-keeping a partnership, for the most part managing the home — whether they work or not — is still treated as a female domain.

//We should be pushing for paternity-leave benefits at the workplace and flexi-hours for men and not just women.

//Instead of demanding daycare and crèches for the children of female employees, we should ask for it as a benefit for all employees. - Because even here the responsibility is forced on women to take care of their children even when they are at work.

I understand, ability to nurture comes naturally to women but certain things have to be inculcated in men too.

Thats exactly my point, it needs to be taught from childhood by both parents that the responsibility of running a house shd be equally shared and unless the male child is made to do so he will not understand the concept nor will he take an interest since society conditions him not to do so...One has to really fight against the system to bring in any positive change !

\


You summed it up quite well. Earlier generations were not used to the idea and hence did not inculcate these habits in their sons. But we can, by consciously encouraging them to participate in various chores and by doing things around house together in a fun way./ That way the boys will get used to working around home and also enjoy it. Each one of us has to make that effort to bring a positive change!

Absolutely ! personally I too have had to fight against criticism from relatives even friends who would comment seeing my son help out in the kitchen " In our house we dont let our sons and men enter the kitchen " as if it is a great deed they were doing. I wd say, in my house it is very much the done thing ..My mother and to a certain extent my m in law were very supportive and that really helped and I am glad that my children dont have any gender bias today. They just share home and kitcen duties when they are home.

When I rushed forward to help my wife in lifting a heavy water container, my wife refused my help saying. "Why you are intervening in a woman's Job?" this happened many years ago. Since then i made it a practice to do all the jobs in the kitchen to my wife's dissatisfaction. And this has been passed on to my children.

This article by Barkha Dutt actually speaks my mind. Go check... Why women' can't have it all


Why do women have to quit work or work from home to manage household chores and look after babies. Why do women have to struggle..I can relate to what is there in this article..why do women have to juggle with so many roles and keep too many balls in the air?

For a simple reason, women have not taught their male offspring to behave and respect women. They always thought their male children were superior and not born to do in any household job. They are still living in the same mentality.

I think women who belong to the newer generation are coming out of this mode of thinking, that male off-springs are better or superior. More and more emphasis is being put on educating girls. But women who belong to the interior parts our country are still lagging behind, in terms of their thoughts and behavior, which am sure will change some day.

The belief that male children are superior is prevalent in the women in urban areas too. And this includes educated women.. Yes, such thoughts are gradually decreasing, but with a slow pace. Change is imminent .

Yes, few educated women to believe that a male child is superior..but i beg to differ. Anyway everybody is entitled to their own personal views and opinion.

Setting aside Who believe and who will not , male child is superior, one thing is sure, a lot has to happen as far as woman's attitude is concerned. Male and female children are equal and they should be taught life skills right from the formative years.

Absolutely, life skills, culinary skills, manner, etiquette, and education are all important irrespective of the gender of a child and need to be taught to both.