Many people have the shy nature from their childhood and keep it with them up to some age or throughout their life. Some people are able to overcome their shyness after some age period but those who are not able to do so may get affected by it. It results in the social anxiety disorder(SED). Paruresis or "Shy bladder" is kind of SED and people affected by it are not able to urinate(empty their bladder) in the presence actual or imaginative presence of the other people in their surrounding. It sounds absurd for the people who do not suffer from this, but it is a real big problem for the people who suffer from it.
Who suffer from it?
After my inter net research I have found that almost 10% of the American population is suffering from the Paruresis. If we consider the gender then it is mostly in the males. Any person may suffer from this syndrome who has a shy nature and had some bad experience with urinating in their childhood. The problem is this that the people who suffer from it do not let others know about it because they think that other will laugh at them. So they want to keep it a secret. I also wanted to keep it a secrete until I came to know that it is common phobia which may happen to anyone. So talk about it in your friend circle or in your family circle because there may be a member who need your help.
How it starts?
With my experience I think it starts all with some bad experience with urinating in your childhood. I remember I felt very much embarrassed when I was a 5 year child because somebody interrupted my process in between. That embarrassing moment gets stored in your subconscious mind and every time you starts peeing it gives the orders to your conscious mind to be shy and it results in the contracting of the nerves at the opening of the bladder. The way gets blocked and no matter how much you want to pee/urinate you are not able to until you feel that their is no one around.
What are results?
- The first result of this phobia/disease is this that you are not able to urinate in the public toilets where there are other men around you, so you may get late to get the seat of your bus when you are late due to your long urinating process in the toilet of that bus stand.
- The people who suffer from it are having low self esteem because they feel less manly. Any person who suffers from it will start avoiding the long travels, public gathering or any place where he has to use the public toilets. When he think that there is something he is lacking it results in lower self confidence.
- It may affect your career because you will have an irritating nature, because you are not happy with yourself and every time you go to toilet it will keep reminding you about it and will further rein force the idea/thought that you are lacking somewhere badly.
What is needed to do?
After the research I could do I have found that there are some ways by which the phobia can be reduced to lower level but there is no cure for it. The first thing that one can do is to overcome the shyness. I talk to my friends about it whom I can take under my confidence and who will trust me with this. They will not be able to help you much on this topic because they will say that is not a big deal to urinate anywhere because for them it is not. It will help you to overcome your shyness, that is how it is going to help you.
1. Now the first thing you have to ask from your most trusted friend is to ask him to stand at certain distance when you are going to urinate. If it do not come out ask him to start a tap water run. Once you get comfortable with your friend at that distance ask him stand next time more near to you and see if you have progressed further. So slowly one day will come when you can pee when your friend is standing in front of you.
Confidence will built slowly not overnight.
2. The other therapy I read about is to increase the CO2 level of your body. Stop the breathe for few minutes if you can and it will result in the rise of CO2 level in your level and it helps to relax you. It is advised to try this technique at home first. If it helps then try it at the public places.
3. Search for the International Paruresis Organisation on the inter net search engines and you will get the contacts of the people who are fighting with the devil and it will enhance your knowledge about the disease. Remember the knowledge is the potential Energy and once you start applying the knowledge it becomes your power.
4. There are some videos on the www.youtube.com which tell you the success stories, so they may also help you.
Remember to few degrees everyone in this world is paruretic so you are not alone, fact may be like this that it is up to a higher degrees in you. So don't feel lonely about it, everybody has it so only thing you have to do is to reduce the degrees of the shyness.
Advise for Parents friends and teachers:
I think parents should take care of their child in the childhood because that is the age when the children are most prone to such disorders. You should be aware of it so that you may find if your child is okay. Never ask you child to stop talking to strangers also because I have found it from the research that this one line advise can also lead to the social anxiety disorder. Most of the kidnappings, murders and done by the known people in the world and not by the strangers, so don't ever give such advise.
Friends should help the person in overcoming the shyness if you are aware of it. Friend is called a friend because he/she has the solution for the problem of their friends. So make yourself more aware.
Teachers can encourage the students to take part in the public speakings. Ask the students one by one to give the 5 minutes speech every day before the starting of their lecture. It will surely reduce their anxiety.