THE ToP 5 bollywood actresses who are missing something.
1.Kareena Kapoor~She looks more like a FLAT TV than a GIRL,maybe she's flatter than it.
2.Karishma Kapoor~She can act no doubt,but i think somewhere the figure and the looks
are missing...
3.Katrina Kaif~People dont beat me up,she got everything but the talent of acting
....c'mon u gotta admit it
4.Preity Zinta~Aur kitna sataugi hume??Aisi umar mein mat karo ITEM songz....ur not fit
for em
5.Rani Mukherjee~Bikinis and showerdancing won't REDUCE ur AGE.........
5 things to take Care when doing an ENGINEERING DRAWING
1) No Messy/Missy
2) Should be Smooth and with Sharp Tips
3) Scales and Angles at proper Positions
4) Galti ki koi ghunjaish nahi
5) Last but not least, Universal Length is 12inch........ for Border
5 Similar things between Doctor & Engineer
1) Dr. operates Humans, but Er. operates Machinery's
2) Dr. Works on Communicables, but Er. Works on Non-communicables
3) Dr. plays with Blood, but Er. plays with Fuels, Gases, etc
4) Dr. main tools are scissors,knifes,foresips,etc , that to Er. main tools are Spanners,Hammers,etc
5) Last, Dr. will ensure that a person having problem should visit every now and then, he cant fix in 1 or 2 times. But that to Er. will finish it in One shot, if so any problem ll be after few months or years.
5 things not to do in a public loo :))))
1. Do not spit on the wall, on the door, on the tap in front of you.
2. Do not make designs with your waste (aeeeeewwwwwwww)
3. Do not write your friend's cell number on the door.
(e.g. For puncher repair call jose: 9899999999)
4. Do not sit relax on the seat as the door bolt is not there.
( Pakda gya)
5. Do not do some Chigey Weegey(Masterb*****) in loo after watching some hot girl.
(On airports, Bus stands, Railway Stations)
5 things not to ask to a Marchant Navy Sailor...
1. Why are you waiving your body..... :| ?
( As they are on sail for 6 months.)
2. Hows the women on the ship?
3. Did you like the land on the Ship ?
4. Do you play Cricket on your Ship ?
5. Have you seen any recent movie ?
5 reasons why africa is selected for road7ies
1) Money tasks : Last time a money task was of over 6 lakh rupees, this time it might be of 100 crore . Don’t worry the reserve bank of Zimbabwe has published a note of 10 crore. Roadies will tell their parents that “I have won a 100 crore”!
2) Lost and found : Everyone knows that it would be wild ride with deserts all over and many African animals ready to unleash. And just in case any of the roadie is injured or found missing, they will build a pyramid in his/her name
3) Poison content : We all know that Africa has poisonous animals, trees, plants, snakes etc. So now there is acid test for the African creatures to face the dangerous and hazardous roadies as it will prove who is more poisonous >:)
4) Offering the “light” : As Africa is a dark continent, more than 50% of the shooting won’t be even seen as there won’t be much light. Mostly everything would be black so less torture for the editor. And in case if it’s too dark they may term it as a documentary. Smart asses
5) Wild african safari : With tasks like driving in deserts and swimming in river nile, who can complete these tasks? Money will remain in roadies account. Plus they can also make an accuse that African tribals stole their money
5 celebs who should show themselves in roa7ies
1) Pritam – This guy literally steals music from interior parts of different countries. Also he has a good experience when it comes to Malaysia and Thailand. Africa won’t be a bad option
2) Jaya Sawant – She comes as a part of reservation quota. She shows up in each of the shows where her daughter has appeared so why not roa7ies? Plus all critics who say roa7ies is just for youth will shut their mouth Book her quickly because she has to go for auditions of “Pati patni aur who”
3) Munna bhai – He’s traveling all over the world. Munna bhai chale America, munna bhai chale parliament, munna bhai chale JAIL so to add to the tally munna bhai chale Africa. Promotion ka promotion and shooting ki shooting and who knows he might have chemical locha in form of Nelson Mandela?
4) Gary Kirsten – This south african player knows a lot about Africa so he can be a good guide. Moreover he stunned Indian cricket team by his famous tips regarding sex, who knows roadies would die to hear something like that?
5) Kangana Ranaut : Her screams and ghostly looks not to mention somewhat side roles make her ideal for Africa. Who knows she might be a hit there. Moreover we have heard people saying she is like “an animal”
5 places which could be next destination for roa7ies
1) China – That is just another way to send extra population outside india. Moreover they dared to attack Arunachal Pradesh, we will attack them with something more fierce and dangerous which they will plead to forgiveness. Plus in case the show would be a failure then it can be called “Made in China”
2) Moon – The way places and continents are being used, soon they would switch to moon when they run out of options. Plus Recently water has been found on the surface which will reduce the drinking problems
3) Pakistan : Getting a visa itself is a big task. Moreover they will find tones of tasks like blowing up a building, finding a person who is non-terrorist, walking 10 steps without being shot dead, searching a tag “made in Pakistan” etc. And meanwhile if they rename it “roadies 8 – where Pakistan declares war” then also it won’t be much wrong
4) Big Boss’s house – With Viacom 18 network as big baap both shows can be combined in a unique way to gather more audience. Plus it will save a lot of money and roadies can be given cycle to travel several kms inside the house
5) Disneyland – The way roadies are performing their tasks, this would be ideal location for our cute sensitive roadies. Plus most of them dream to be a vj and Hollywood is not far away
Five reasons to go and watch movie London dreams.
1. This is not the sequel of rock on.
2. If u have free psychiatrists appointment vouchers. go for it.
3. Rannvijay....watch the hottest dude getting mad with his guitar.
4. They are no 'golmaal' n "all the best jokes" from ajay devgan
5. Want to sleep and DREAM in theater.
Five most romantic ways to propose a girl
1. Near the Eifel tower, poster
2. Between the sea, in a boat, wherein she can only accept, else you can drown her :D
3. Going to her house at 3 am in the night and loudly screaming and showing your love for her
4. Putting the engagement ring in the glass of water which she drinks and that gulps down her throat :)
5. Catching hold the girl’s hand and taking her to a temple for the marriage. Chat mangni pat byah.
5 things why the SHIP is called "SHE"
1) Take cares of onboard all crew.
2) Gives them a Ride
3) Can sleep on Top of it
4) Get Wrinkles when she is old enough
5) The Bottom of her always remains "WET"
Five M’s a must want by a pretty woman
1. Mein
2. Mercedes
3. Mansion
4. Money
5. MTV
Five mobile handsets you may find carried by persons:
1. No Kea
2. Sam Sung
3. So Ni
4. China made 6 months warranty
5. Black Berry
Five things never to be asked to Kareena Kapoor
1. What does size Zero mean?
2. Why did Shahid leave you?
3. How much did it cost to buy the Kareena Tatoo for Saif?
4. You shall leave saif also, isn’t it?
5. What do u feel about Shahid and Priyanka Chopra dating?
Five sayings suggest that you are hungry
1. Mummy bhook lagi hai.
2. When will the lunch break bell ring?
3. Chalo doston khaana khaata hai
4. Kuch nahi banaya aaj? Kal ke daal chawal hai?
5. When you order for food.
Five ways to know that your computer is effected with Virus
1. Messengers automatically send messages to friends in the list.
2. When the anit-virus detects virus while scanning
3. When the system reboots by itself again and again
4. Programs don’t start up
5. When you insert a virus infected pen drive into the system, and there is no antivirus installed in your system to detect and clean the same.
Five reasons to suggest that the profile is a fake one
1. Lesser friends or No friends
2. Only MTV Community related and other gaming communities
3. Out of the Box DP
4. First day in the Community, but knows that Webbie handles the show
5. Irrelevant details in the profile
Five things one can expect from Yashraj films
1. Shahrukh plays the lead
2. Uday chopra is given some character
3. Movie has a good opening collection wise
4. Good foreign locations
5. Songs, songs and songs.
Five ideas that can change life
1. Getting up early and seeing the sunrise and pretty girls jogging
2. Buying an Idea Connection
3. The idea of trying to win the MTV Mishmash
4. Bank Robbery
5. Marrying daughter of the richest businessman
5 things Vishal cant stop writing about.
1) Gals and their lameness
2) Virus which infected him badly about the Funky Five
3) Webbie ki Tariff ......Vishal bhai koi plan hai kya Webbie Sir ko impress karne ka
4) Bebo and Priyanka, yaar tere liye kuch bhi karne ko tyaar yeh do ladkiya....just abhi bhi hi baat hui....
5) Last but not least, Vellapanthi ki JAI HO!!!!!
Five things to be ready for, while watching ekta kapoor’s soap:
1. Story shall have atleast 20 characters
2. Re-births and Re-Marriages come up when there is no story to continue
3. Advertising bro Tushaar kapoor’s movie songs
4. Everyone shall turn older, except dearest Baa
5. Finally the name shall start with “K”